The envelope is in my hand.

It's worn from age, corners crumpled through years of being pressed in messy stacks of other papers. But it isn't just some envelope. It's the one. The one Lilian sent to me a while before she died. It had gotten caught up in the mail. I'd tried to read it several times, but each time, I'd find that I just couldn't bear it. To hear her voice, pleading for me to fight and win and knowing that is was just a vague approximation that my mind made. Sometimes, I realize that my memory of her voice shifts slightly until I watch a video of her.

There's something horrifying about that to me. The idea that you can love someone completely and still begin to misremember them as time passes.

I wonder if that will happen to my memories of Dad.

What good is a keen mind if it can't even remember the people you love correctly?

I place the envelope down.

The truth is that I am terrified of tomorrow night. I don't know if I'm just going to fold over uneventfully or if my efforts will pay off. I don't know and the doubt is corroding at everything I am. I swallow, setting aside my fear. I blink.

The envelope is in my hands. Carefully, I open it, eyes scanning over the first sentence I see.

Ned, it's okay to be nervous!

And as I see it, I realize how silly this anxiousness is. The envelope drops from my fingers, hitting the table with near silence.

--------------------

"What's in a name?"

"See, I'm not typically one to place a lot of significance into a name. When the new brand announced shortly after my arrival was revealed to be a rebooted Anarchy, I didn't bat an eye. I fogured it was just another violent sounding title Vincent thought looked good on a T-shirt. But, as I've been apart of this brand's growth, I've witnessed firsthand that Anarchy encapsulate its namesake. A place where the structure is loose and the individual is given both initiative and freedom. A brand where anyone- anyone has an opportunity."

"That brings us to you and your mission, Ruby. Because as I've prepared myself for this match against you, I came to a realization that deeply saddens me. And that's that you and Sarah Lacklan are two sides of the same coin. She wants to rule over this brand as queen and you yourself wish to bring "order" to it. Now, I admire your desire to be a hero, but I've read a lot of comics in my time and I can assure you one thing: a real hero accepts people and certain things as they are and doesn't try to push them into their own personal view of what it should be. So, while you wear the cape and protect some peace, you also ignore this brand's strengths because it doesn't suit your ideals. I don't know what to call that behavior, but it's not heroism."

"Look at someone like John Black whose felt like this company has pigeonholed him since the day he walked through the door. Or Bobbi London who came from Union GP to be apart of this brand where anyone could make it if they put the time in! Hell, look at Noah Jackson, someone I cannot stand. Even he has been treated better by Anarchy than other brands in this company because Anarchy is more than just that catchy brand name: it's the principle. But it doesn't sit well with you, Ruby, so you want to come in and save it; change it into something it isn't. The same thing Sarah is looking to do. You want to turn this show into an in-group with those you deem apart of that order you seek."

"The simple fact is, Ruby, I can't allow that. I refuse to watch you or Lacklan take this show and attempt to mold it into something it's not. The true champion of this brand shouldn't be someone who gets special treatment because of a mask or some close friend to family who owns the company. It should be someone who believes in this show's principles fully. You know, the lack of structure has caused me to get a lot of unfair post-match beatings, but that is far more preferable than your sanitized vision for Anarchy."

"So, tomorrow night, I'm not just fighting for myself or the fans or my desire to serve Lacklan a much needed slice of humble pie, I'm fighting on behalf of the spirit this show has. The spirit that you don't have to wear a crown or cape to be successful, but that you can just be a motivated son of a bitch from Brooklyn."

"I suggest you keep your good intentions close to your heart, Ruby, because you'll have plenty of time for heroics while you wait for your rematch with her. However, if I'm being completely honest, there's another reason you're not going to pull a victory over me. And that's simply that in this crisis I'm feeling, one desire has never left my mind: facing Lacklan again. This match is more important than even my chance at the Universal Title. Because this isn't about belts or pride. This is about proving that I belong here to a growing number of people who insist I don't. Proving that somebody who struggled and lived the kind of life of an everyday person doesn't have to settle for average and can be exceptional, even when the world claims otherwise. You see, that's one of those details from the comics you should've kept in mind: that strength isn't about who you are in the suit, but who you are out of it. Because being a hero isn't about the powers, costumes, or catchphrases."

"It's about what you're willing to do for your cause, even when the mask is off. That's a hero, Ruby. Let's see what you are."

"You can't run from yourself."