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Unknown Soldier · (06-04-2013)

This message has been interrupted to bring you a live feed into the mouth of the madness himself. Unknown Soldier!

Luca Arzegotti must be smoking only the finest of his trade to think that he could intimidate me.

That's the primary reason he's been inserted and given the label that he has even chosen to give himself.

We are now taken to the inside of some small hotel room somewhere in the Kansas City area where Unknown Soldier was training, praying, and feasting in preparations for his upcoming match on Shove It. With the little funds he survives on, which is primarily vodka and pocket change, he was thrown upon Ann Thraxx to deal with as a new problem. She was, after all, his tag partner and so putting him up for a few nights in a shared motel room made perfect sense. It's unfortunate for Ann, but it seemed like the only logical course of action necessary in order for her to form some sort of bond with this deranged animal/human.

Soldier was moseying around the house in the nude sifting through Ann's panty drawer before he finally found the right ones that seemed appropriate. A giant black pair with red lettering on the ass that said 'Super Bitch.'

Unknown Soldier: "Oh, hey there. Don't mind me, I'm just putting on my big boy panties for a change like Luca Arzegotti has finally done for once in his life. I guess he expects me to sit here and clap and tell him he's done such a wonderful job outsmarting me. Come on everyone let's give him a big round of applause with a standing ovation."

Soldier pauses as the crowd in the audience stands and claps in unison for Luca Arzegotti.

Unknown Soldier: "I mean, he's drawn every logical conclusion for me before I can even open my mouth. He's talked so much that he's even trashed talked me, spoke back to himself as if he were me, and then trashed that talk again. It's like I'm having a fight with Dante Kyllen or something here! He's not going to whine like Gilmour because I already beat him. But WAIT! We are not supposed to act like that matters. He already said it right, that was going to be my big spiel and I was going to use that as such a leverage in my arguments against him. That was one of your points? Was it not? Somehow your allusion to the man in the mirror makes perfect sense to me when I look back at myself two weeks ago when I was calling you out in the same manner that you've just done. Difference is I have the gonads to actually dignify a response."

Unknown Soldier: "Fair enough Luca, let's just forget that any of that happened and that everything in the past is just a black hole of non existence. Although you were the one adding up wins and losses over Sebastian Duke, Angelus, and others of the like that you've so valiantly vanquished. Can we get another round of applause for Luca everyone?"

Nobody stands up and claps this time.

Unknown Soldier: "Not that much love for Luca? Is it because you all see him for the enormous hypocritical piece of trash that he really is? Yet here he comes to vanquish the mighty Unknown Soldier that took from him the Xtreme Title that he so rightfully claims that he will once again take back. After all, if you could beat me and get your X-treme title back then you can really look important if you can chalk up a win over the Unknown Soldier.... Just like you listed off the others like it some some sort of resume. You are so quick to weigh in a win against Sebastian Duke to realize that most recently it was I who beat HIM when I met him at Gauntlet City."

The crowd gasps as Soldier reveals a tiny loophole to the story that Luca had obviously overlooked.

Unknown Soldier: "But I guess I shouldn't mention that now, should I Luca... Let's forget about the past, am I right?..."

Unknown Soldier walks into the bathroom of the motel and reaches in the medicine cabinet to find a very important piece of equipment that belonged to Ann Thraxx. Very important and necessary for cleaning the sexual organs of a female. Soldier is very intrigued by this object and his first reaction to just about anything of this nature is to immediately ram it up his ass. Which he does and releases a huge sigh while jamming the douche nozzle in and out of his anal cavity.

Unknown Soldier: "You see Luca, when I think about you and being the King of the Douche bags I do things like this to make an illogical metaphor become the sanctity of my speech. I feel like a lot of what you've been saying and doing this week is nothing but an attempt to blow smoke up my ass. That's why I've decided to cleanse my rectum of all this nonsense by going through with everything you've just said.

Unknown Soldier: "That's right, this match is already over and you're finally going to overcome that disappointing loss of yours at High Stakes. I'm going to just have to shut my mouth and take it on the chin because you've already written all my promos for me with my Hail SATAN!s and Blood Lust and Vlad Wannabe's and blah blah blah.. and I'm the one whose 'washed up' or how did you say it... "Not the Beast I once was."

Soldier chuckles at the thought of that last statement with a sly grin on his face.

Unknown Soldier: "I think the fact of the matter is as much as you say you don't care, for as much as you've had to say this week coupled with the match comparisons and obvious retribution claims on your former Xtreme title. I think YOU DO CARE! I don't think you realize how little I care about what you have to say about me. If You think YOU don't care... Let me show you how much I don't care Luca..."

Unknown Soldier then signals for CRIMSON DONG to come out from the hotel bedroom where he was engaging in some type of random ordeal. I think he was starting a relationship with Ann Thraxx of some kind and waiting for her return, but that can not be certain. Unknown Soldier then lays on the ground of the hotel kitchen and commands Dong to get on top of him which he gleefully obliges to.

DONG WITH THE PIN!!!

1...

2...

THREE!!

New Xtreme Champion: The Crimson Dong!

Crimson Dong takes his newly acquired titled and leaves the premises looking more than pleased as he uses his Dong as a pogo stick down the hotel hallway.

Unknown Soldier: "There you go Luca, now our match two weeks ago meant absolutely nothing! I gave you exactly what you wanted! I mean right, I wasn't supposed to use it as leverage over you anyways so fuck it right! "

Unknown Soldier: "How will you explain this now Luca? How will you defeat me and avenge your loss after the Xtreme Title is not even involved. I guess you could go pin Dong now, but would it really be the same? Would you have slayed the 'mighty beast that once was' Unknown Soldier to not only prove to yourself, but everyone else that you could overcome and regain the title you lost to me. That was the primary objective of your whole speech somewhere in one of your early promotions this week wasn't it? You stupid fuck, what makes you think you can intimidate me? I really hope you come out here and cut 666 promos now. I hear that's what they teach ya down there in the Black Circle. Let's just ask Sebastian Duke."

Unknown Soldier: "How does it feel now to know that I actually give less of a shit than you about this match. I mean obviously our teammates don't care You 'say' you don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Ann doesn't give a fuck. Charlotte doesn't give a fuck... and now Crimson Dong is the Xtreme Champion. I hope you are happy with yourself Luca, you have officially made this match mean absolutely nothing because you hypocritically said you didn't care but really you do."

Unknown Soldier: "I guess poor Luca can't win his belt back from Soldier after all... Just like Luca has already planned it out he's got us beaten. Let's also take everything Lucas has had to say at face value and also point out the fact that he first pointed out in one of his earlier cuts this week that Ann Thraxx isn't even worthy of being in a match of this caliber. Can we also assume then Luca that you've already predated history?"

Unknown Soldier: "But then you have to step up and face the real facts here Luca and realize the conclusions that you are inferring before you finally realize what an absolute hypocrite you really are..."

Unknown Soldier: "Let's see here Luca, add up the Thraxx comment and we are lead to a simple conclusion that you've even drawn yourself. Even if I didn't just hand off the title to Crimson Dong and prove to you how much I don't care the fact of the matter was...

Unknown Soldier: "You arn't going to pin me anyways! So none of this really matters and I just made your beloved title out to be as big of a mockery and joke that you are."

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode I give less fucks than Luca!
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