This is my first e-fed and I wanted to know what everyone thinks of my promos. i'm not quite sure if thy're substance justifies they're length.

They're good, but what I personally would like, and maybe this is just me, but a little more about Brian Braxton's actions. Like, show him doing some stuff. I feel like, by seeing him do stuff, I can figure out something about what kind of guy he is more so. How much of an a-hole or a nice guy he is, etc.

I agree with KnightMask, i don't feel like I know your character well enough from your early RPs. You just need to get his personality and attributes across in your description more.

3x Xtreme Champion
1x Briefcase Holder
1x Television Champion
1x Universal Champion

First e-fed? They're excellent in that case. Let me add to my buddy KM up there. This is something someone told me when I first came in (Looking at you, Soldier.): Read others roleplays. Start with the "top guys." Look at what they do. Read as much as you can.

You're not even really off the mark. For a first time, they're very very good.

Develop a story centered around Braxton outside of the ring. How he interacts with others. How you reacts to others. Does he have friends? Is he a loner? What makes Brian Braxton tick?

You're already off to a solid start. Keep your eyes peeled and your ears open and you'll go far.

(05-20-2013, 01:45 PM)Sebastian Duke Said: First e-fed? They're excellent in that case. Let me add to my buddy KM up there. This is something someone told me when I first came in (Looking at you, Soldier.): Read others roleplays. Start with the "top guys." Look at what they do. Read as much as you can.

You're not even really off the mark. For a first time, they're very very good.

Develop a story centered around Braxton outside of the ring. How he interacts with others. How you reacts to others. Does he have friends? Is he a loner? What makes Brian Braxton tick?

You're already off to a solid start. Keep your eyes peeled and your ears open and you'll go far.

Agree with this, there's no better way of improving your RPs than reading other people's work. It will help creatively A LOT!

3x Xtreme Champion
1x Briefcase Holder
1x Television Champion
1x Universal Champion