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Drake · **04-14-2017, 01:47 PM**

http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=27273

You all should have been around long enough to know the drill by now, read and review pls.

Imperial · (04-15-2017)

Heyyo! I think Trax had a lot in his roleplay and you could've played with what he gave you more. You gave him one paragraph and then focused a lot on his history, but the nice thing about following another roleplay is being able to dissect it and point out his weaknesses.

Also, as you delved into his history, you didn't seem to comment on it much. You were reading off things, but in classic essay style you didn't broach into the Point -> Elaborate -> Explain style, which I think will be really good for your future work.

I'm going to take a swing and ask if you checked with Trax before slipping into your role in his history. As a handler, I'm not sure if he might be comfortable with you jumping in if you hadn't asked. If you did however, then that's great and you can use that to your advantage in the future.

Mr Killjoy · **04-15-2017, 06:49 AM**

I didn't mind him putting a spin on Trax's history, since he made a couple of slip ups which I was able to use against him so that worked in my favour.

Not quite sure how I feel about Drake abducting Trax's "mother" without asking for permission from me first usually things like that have to be discussed between the people RPing against each other, but I'll allow it, you'll see why when the show gets posted lol.

Drake in general your RPs are pretty solid, your trash is pretty decent as is your narration but it could definitely be strengthed by being more lengthy and elaborated in parts like Danny said. Maybe you felt like you couldn't go into too much detail with things because of the word limit but just for future reference.

Drake · **04-15-2017, 07:37 AM**

(04-15-2017, 06:49 AM)TRAX Said: I didn't mind him putting a spin on Trax's history, since he made a couple of slip ups which I was able to use against him so that worked in my favour.

Not quite sure how I feel about Drake abducting Trax's "mother" without asking for permission from me first usually things like that have to be discussed between the people RPing against each other, but I'll allow it, you'll see why when the show gets posted lol.

Drake in general your RPs are pretty solid, your trash is pretty decent as is your narration but it could definitely be strengthed by being more lengthy and elaborated in parts like Danny said. Maybe you felt like you couldn't go into too much detail with things because of the word limit but just for future reference.

Thanks man, as insightful as ever! Much respect!

I know, I should have asked and I apologize, but I wanted to spring a surprise twist on you. Also, the length issue is down to lack of experience (I've only been RP'ing for a total of about 2-3 months) so, yeah, again: Thanks and trust me, your feedback will be taken on board. Now, all I would like to say is:

[Image: thank-you-very-much-sir1.gif]

**04-15-2017, 07:42 AM**

I pretty much agree with what Danny said. You have a solid foundation to work from, you just need to work on picking up on any openings that your opponent gives you, and exploiting them in your work. I'd suggest reading the works of others, see what they do, and try to develop your own style around it.

If you want to work in trash talking in specific, the Federweight title is a great place to start.

As a general rule, you want your RPS to be relevant to the match, entertaining, and sell yourself over the other guy. Tell us what makes you so special, point out anything that could be considered a weakness with your opponent, and make me want to read from start to finish.

Most importantly though, write what makes you happy. If you are enjoying what you write, then others will as well.

Like I said, you're starting off with a good foundation already, just some small tips to help you improve.

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