Wednesday, February 1st, 2017
The Illuminatus Compound
...Somewhere in Coastal Connecticut, U.S.A...

It had only been a few hours since Dolly gave her testimony to the U.S. Senate in regards to her doping allegations; and while she was elated being finally cleared from any wrong doing, our young protagonist was exhausted from all of the constant traveling she'd experienced in the last few days. From Indonesia to a re-fuel in Colorado, from Colorado to Connecticut, Connecticut to Washington D.C. and now back to Connecticut.

The Illuminatus Three, Thad Duke's personal 747 circles around the massive electric wall fortified compound that has a seemingly endless amount of wooded acreage backing up to the rocky coastal cliff of Connecticut before making a beeline toward the private landing strip.

Within a few moments, Illuminatus Three screeches to a halt on the runway. Dolly hobbles her way toward the exit, thanking the pilot as she steps out of door and down the steps onto the runway where Jim, Prince Thaddeus Duke's chief of security and personal adviser is waiting in a dark Humvee to retrieve their not-so-esteemed-anymore, guest.

"Hello, Dolly."

The young arien looking man says while exiting the vehicle, walking to the passenger side and opening the door for the waving Dolly,

"Prince Thaddeus has requested an intimidate meal for you-"

"Oh! That's great, I'm starving and ready to hit the hay."

Jim makes an anxious face after letting Dolly into the vehicle and closing the door, walking around the front of the Humvee and to his own seat he says:

"Um, actually, Dolly... Prince Thad wants you to be in the training quarters directly after you finish your meal."

Jim moves the clutch and begins driving the two of them toward the compound,

"The training quarters? Jim, I'm freaking exhausted and I feel like pure shit."

She has to speak loud over the sound of the buzzing engine,

"I understand bu-"

"No, no fucking way I'm training tonight, we can get started tomorrow."

"Yes, I understand you're a bit tired, but Dolly, Prince Thaddeus has prepared a very special surprise for you."

"All due respect, if it aint Disney's Moana on BluRay I'm not really interested."

Jim scoffs and rolls his eyes, probably wondering just what in the world Duke sees in this disrespectful little twat. He cared deeply for Duke, and with all of the internal issues going on with the organization between Thaddeus and Sebastian he was maybe fearing for his Prince's current mental state- worrying that he may be making irrational decisions.

There's an aggravating silence between the two. Dolly is probably right to be a tad irritated, but at the same time she does realize the need for gratitude. Thad has risked a lot for her, bonding her out of prison and even the preemptive hiring for her some of the best legal council in the world to shore up things for her before she even got home. If it wasn't for him she would still be rotting away in Indonesia, always wondering what could of been with her life... and now she has a chance at redemption, something she shouldn't take lightly.

"So what's for supper, anyway?"

Jim appears a bit irked with the question,

"Oh. Just as you've demanded: filet mignon medium rare, sweet potato with butter and sour cream, wedge salad and who-"

"Whole milk?"

"Precisely. We got milk."

Dolly giggles at the dry humor and nudges Jim in the arm,

"Sorry for being a turd, Jim. I'm just tired is all..."

Jim smiles as the two drive closer to the compound.

...Sometime after supper...

Dolly lets out a large, not-so-feminine belch and wipes away some A1 sauce from the corner of her mouth with a bib. The entire meal on her dinner tray resting over her lap has been devoured and Dolly leans back in the recliner in her chamber, patting her belly... she's in hog heaven.

There's a knock at her door, followed by a voice.

"Dolly? Are you ready to head to the training facility?"

It's Thaddeus Duke.

Dolly startles and flips backwards out of the recliner as the chair fumbles to the floor. Dolly scrambles around looking for her remote.

"Y-yeah! Just a sec!"

Dolly grabs the remote while on her knees and turns off the episode of "My Babysitter is a Vampire", one of those quirky pre-teen Nickelodeon sitcoms chalk full of that same dry humor that was making Dolly giggle earlier, from her television. Dolly is already dressed in some exercising-esque gear, gym shorts and a plain white t-shirt. She takes a brief gander into her mirror, pulling her hair up into a ponytail and makes her way out into the hallway.

"How was dinner?"

Duke promptly asks as Dolly closes her door and the two start walking down the hallway toward an elevator at the end of the hall.

"Oh it was swell, Thad. I appreciate you looking out for me like this."

"Don't mention it; I've learned that being as content as possible is vital to having an optimum workout. With Lethal Lottery looming, we haven't got much time to spare. Jim mentioned you maybe having an issue with training today?"

"Oh no issue, I was just tired earlier."

"I understand. I heard you were great at your testimony before The Senate today."

"Thanks. It was kind of never wracking. I'm just glad it's over."

"Indeed. I've taken the liberty of having our people draft up your new application to the XWF and requesting some clauses in your new contract that will allow to compete under multiple, even presently unnamed aliases. What was the name you said you wanted to wrestle under again?"

"The Buronan"

"Booo-ro-nayne? Could you spell it?"

"B-u-r-o-n-a-n"

"Where did you come up with that anyway?"

"Eh... it's just a bit of a memento to an old friend."

Dolly glances over to her shadow on the wall, and she almost for a moment thinks she sees her friend waving back to her which warms her heart and causes her to smile.

"Will you be portraying a male or female?"

"Gender neutral."

"Oh you snowflake."

The two enter the elevator and ride it down to the basement level of Duke's compound, which when the doors to the elevator open, exposes a massive training facility, equipped with all of the applicable training utilities: treadmills, free weights, punching bags and a full sized wrestling ring the middle of the room.

"Wow Duke. Swanky getup you've got here. I aint seen a gym this nice since Morbid's."

Duke scoffs at the absurdity that somehow Morbid Angel's gym is as nice as his,

"Oh pipe down! Is this the surprise Jim was telling me about?"

"No... she is."


Duke points to the corner of the training facility where we see a young woman having just unpacked some exercise supplies from a duffel bag.

"Who the hell is that?"

"I don't know. I had Jim do some digging into finding you the most suitable trainer to get you back in shape. Apparently she has a DVD, or is famous, or something. Honestly... I just think Jim likes looking at her."

Duke says while looking back at the surveillance camera in the corner of the gym.

"Well... I guess she is pretty hot."

"HI! I'm Autumn Calabrese, founder of the revolutionary work-out and diet program called '21 Day Fix', you must be Dolly."

The sweaty woman with breast implants proclaims while bouncing her way over to shake hands with Dolly.

"21 Day Fix? Yeah, I have heard of you! It's great to meet you, Autumn."

"Super glad to meet you as well! I've watched a bit of tape on you, can a make a confession?"

"Sure"

Dolly shrugs while answering as Autumn leans into her ear and whispers with her northern Ohioan accent:

"Yur badass"

Dolly legit chuckles,

"Now the people who've hired me on your behalf have unfortunately told me that we're pressed for time, yeah? We don't have twenty-one days, so this? This is going to be a fifteen day fix, yeah?"

Dolly nods,

"you've got the attitude, you've got the drive, now all I need fur' you to do is to keep the focus through these fifteen minuet burst intervals where we work ALL of yur muscle groups at once, and I can promise you- in fifteen days- we'll get you back to being that ass kicking little warrior lady yur known fur' being, yeah?"

"Alright!"

"Now let's get warmed up!"

The scene fades as the two start jogging in place, Duke indifferently watching how his money is being spent.

---

---

Well, my oh my how things change, huh? In Trax's last little bleeding heart bold white bullshit promo he proclaimed that our match has been changed to a Triple Threat for Lethal Lottery. Obviously there hasn't been any announcement of such great importance made yet, and no one has notified me of any changes- so naturally this would leave me feeling a bit skeptical at these claims. Could Trax be playing some finicky little mind games to try and confuse me and have me prepare for a match that's actually not happening? On the surface that would seem true given how much of a cowherd he is and all; but I'm not so easily twisted as Trax and Caedus have learned.

The fact that Trax was actually man enough to finally flush that little faggoty BFF ring down the proverbial toilet, backing away from the "I respect you" and "You're great" folly of a front he's been pushing this entire time and actually unleash on his InfoWars informed pathetic excuse of a partner for once tells me that he may be speaking the truth for once.

And if he is?

Boy, oh boy... Y'all just may as well not even show up. i'll admit, I knew damn well the mountain of impossibility I was scaling while dragging Cadryn's weak ass to North Korea by my lonesome, do y'all think I'm stupid? Trax and Caedus are well capable enough to win a handicap match even against the most decorated of XWF veterans- fer'fuck sake, they orta' be!

But if what Trax has claimed is true, and the odds have been evened, every man and gal for themselves, then there aint' a doubt in my mind that I've got the total wherewithal to complete this journey. The one where everyone has discredited and tried to spit on me, underestimating my ability, underestimating my drive, underestimating my heart. I know full well what my capabilities are, and I aint going to stop fighting until that final bell sounds.

It's funny to me though that Blax goes on a well-deserving tirade in his last promo, blasting Caedus over his paranoia bullshit- something I've been wrecking him over for almost two weeks- but then starts plugging in his own little "Second Gunman on the Grassy Knoll Traxy's Dome" horseshit, trying to insinuate that I drugged Lane?

#Dollysmolliegate.

Trax, it's this exact type of hysteria, hyper-paranoia poppycock driven fake news that get's innocent pizza joints shot up by the M.A.G.A. Klansmen. Wow, way to step it up with the Jim Caedus and Alex Jones' of the world, bubs. Another piece of shit spun story like everything that Caedus has talked about that you can't prove for the life of you- that makes you a liar, Trax. Liars, by nature, are weak as fuck. Seems more to me than anything at this point that you're scrambling now, knowing for certain that this sin't going to be as easy as you initially dreamt it up being. You wanna' know what makes me tick, punk? Watching grown men fret, stammer and sweat knowing that they're about to have their asses handed to them by a lil' southern gal who's so-so sweet. That's exactly what I plan to do, because as I've shown time and time again, no matter how hard you swing at me, no matter how many times you try knocking Dolly Waters down a peg or two, I always swing back harder, and climb back out of the ashes.

You thinking that it's absurd that people would try and end my career because I'm irrelevant, I mean I guess I get where you're coming from if I really was irrelevant. But no one has came after Scully and WE ALL KNOW how he was ripping shit up [pause for laughter] as Universal Champion, and that guy was able to beat Vinnie Lane for that strap something that none some of US could surely do- but then again you did take some over took jab at Scully after I did for being pure shit. But I guess sometimes you've got shit, and then you've got co-co butter crusted shit.

And now, now Traxy! Don't get all offended that I'm "bringing up the past" again when I merely alluding to certain things, and whether you can recognize it or not, it is totally different from directly bringing up things that don't fucking matter. A long winded rant is one thing when it's at least mildly entertaining, but just coming out balls to the walls trying to remind your opponents and the fans of shit they surely haven't forgotten as a way to boost your ego and bust an impotent little nut of relevance filler is something else entirely- and while you literally were in class having fun with a bunch of little kids, I already took you to school over the entire subject before hand, and yet you still couldn't help but bring up excuses for you losing matches to Gabe Reno- a guy you claimed made me worthless for being eliminated from the Shove It Rumble by.

Trax, I know you enjoy tussling with fantasies in your mind and such, but in this industry, and you of all people should know, either you win, or you lose. Period. Why else haven't you heard me this entire time blabbing about the FACT that in your last round match, I interfered and cost Scully and Robbie to lose when Scully was obviously about to pin Caedus? Because in the XWF you're either talented enough to rise above the cheating, which happens all of the fucking time, or your not. You and Caedus won that match and in REALITY it had nothing to do with me- you know that, Caedus knows that, Robbie knows that, even fucktarded Scully kno- well, maybe Scully hasn't quite caught on to things yet.

So go on and make any fucking excuse you want- start making up the excuses for your next match after you lose to Dolly Waters now:

"Oh yeah well, I would have won but our tag match got turned into a triple threat."

Bah-bah-bah your black sheeple bullshit. What matters is that I've been out classing you and Caedus since the beginning of this, and I'll out class you both once we get into the ring. It's just what I do, and I totally get it that you were both caught off guard, I mean you're too fucking dumb to pay any attention to anything other than the past history of the XWF and how it relates to you currently, and Jim is just too fucking dumb in general. Why would either of you expect little ol' me to come rising out of the ashes of her misery to take down two of the self-proclaimed elite of this industry?

Unthinkable, right? Well think again, Trax. I know the four sides of that ring and the floor it sits on like the back of my hand, and I'll use every bit of it to my advantage. Because while you've been pondering some arbitrary thought about how mine and Thad Duke's relationships with our fathers relates to... well whatever in the fuck point you were making- between falling asleep while watching your second rate Marvel garbage- watching Caedus fall in love with some commie scum bag- and watching you two both hang yourselves from the rope I've provided in your promos like I'm little Miss Dolly Kevorkian putting you clowns out of your misery... the ONLY thing that's been on my mind is just how I'm going to beat you, the both of you.

You can call it focused. That's fair sure. But it's not focus alone. It's determination. It's confidence. It's knowing that when I step into that ring I'll be the fastest athlete in the building- an arbitrary claim, right? About as arbitrary as you calling yourself the purest striker in the XWF. Sure, that superkick you do does look painful, but I've gotta' helluva right knee that's at least equally as painful and has left grown men triple my size laid out flat on their backs. Happened to you didn't it? Go on now, SAY IT DIDN'T HURT because only YOU could know. It doesn't matter, bitch, I know where I stand. And it's right at the top of the XWF or at least right next to you or anyone else claiming to be great..

Now Caedus, since we both last eviscerated him for being a "tin foil hat wearing" (that was actually pretty funny, Trax) freak has all but gone silent. I know he'll bounce back with something though- I do respect him in that regard, he's like me, the never give up , the never say die, the [insert more clearly patronizing and cliche bullshit here] type of person that he is, he'll have something to say. Only problem being is that he's likely spent the last, however long it's been since he last opened that shit reeking mouth, digging for more useless shit on the internet to frantically shoot at the blaring gaps of unsubstantial squabble he's spat with his little broken peashooter.

If this match being a triple threat now is a "conspiracy" even for the obviously indifferent like Trax, then Jim is surely about to lose his shit- and still neither of them understand that even the Commissioner of Championships, Paul Heyman did every fucking thing he could do to keep me out of this match to begin with, and y'all are dense enough to suspect that I've curried favor with the XWF higher-ups? HAHA! That's rich, especially after me and Duke laid Vinnie and Paul out on Savage. If anyone has to worry about getting screwed over it's Dolly Waters- and plus, you two were so sure of yourselves being better than me before, what difference does it make that I'm even in this match? You and Trax should just be able to take me out real quick like you claimed you would and just move on to having the little singles bout that you all were drooling over.

So come at me with some more crazy, Jim. Don't switch it up now, you being a psychopathic loon is at least entertaining, or if nothing else, a good laugh for the remedial aspie sufferers among us. I mean you've got a punchers chance at this thing if you just go full again, a Purgatory Punchers chance! Jim, I am your purgatory, hun. This whole little tassel, this life lesson your getting, I'm the one standing in the way of your final rest- I am the one who's going to evaporate the fucking facade that is Jim Caedus, solidifying once again why I AM the fucking Phenom and you were nothing but a fable.

But why should I have all of the fun now? You have plenty of time to between now and Friday to clean up the permanent marker stains that you've drawn all over the wall proving that you're inferior to me- so do it! Lean on my words some more, and you and Trax can both continue to ignore just how it's been Dolly Waters who's driven the course of this entire argument between the three of us...

Irrelevant?

Unimportant?

Fuck... I'm the goddamn moderator of this debate, and I've all but disqualified you both for being trash and lacking facts. At the end of the day guys, neither of you have what it takes to stop me, you're both merely floundering to keep pace.

Ta-Ta til next time fagbois.

3x XTreme Champion
2x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles)
2x Hart Champion
2x Television Champion

3x Star Of The Month
August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16

3x RP Of The Month
What light through sonder... my perception breaks.
Tranquility: For Old Times Sake
Manifest Victory

my loves:
[spoiler]