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Time is a hard thing to make. Where does a career have to sacrifice for family, or does the family serve as a sole sacrificial lamb in minutes, hours, and days given up with their cherished family member? Chris Chaos and I used to spend time together. He would call me and ask when we could hang out... and we would for a while. Then the career question came into play. One of us with the top belt, and the other yearning for a chance to have his name engraved on it. It was only a matter of that thing we talked about... time.
And the Cat's In The Cradle,
And the Silver Spoon,
Little Boy Blue,
And The Man In The Moon...
When Ya Comin' Home, Chris,
I Don't Know When,
We'll Get Together Then,
You Know We'll Have a Good Time Then...
I used to want to be like you. The way you dive into things blindly I used to see as courageous. Now, I realize... you're a fool. Knowledge is power. Information makes decisions wise or not. Diving in is what people who are scared do. They don't know which way is up, so what's the difference? The art of war. Coming from the lips of a man like I just described, that's a hoot. "A vortex of Chaos". Okay, Chris, I'll bite... what the hell does that mean; because in the moments after you said it, there wasn't much that could be perceived as an explanation, much less the inkling of any meaningful coherent thought. You get so caught up in what HAS HAPPENED, that you refuse to accept WHAT WILL. There are planes to catch, and bills to pay, Chris. We don't have time to stroll down memory lane any time you feel sentimental. You puff out your chest and say with a smile that you expect me to take responsibility for what has happened here? Ha. It must be nice to be Champion and have the entire world tell you what you want to hear, instead of the truth. But, I guess I'll know that soon enough. Because this ENTIRE THING IS YOUR FAULT! Yeah, I hit you with a chair. I hit you right in the hair. I AM NOT JEALOUS, YOU SCHMUCK! You want to appear strong where you are weak? Well, then you better start doing cock push-ups. You better learn how to reverse some big boy moves... because I am THE BEST TECHNICAL WRESTLER IN THE WORLD TODAY! You want arrogance!? You got it! You know what, next time you call, Chris... I may not answer at all. Oh yeah, I went there.
And the Cat's In The Cradle,
And the Silver Spoon,
Little Boy Blue,
And The Man In The Moon...
When Ya Comin' Home, Chris,
I Don't Know When,
We'll Get Together Then,
You Know We'll Have a Good Time Then...
Plan B's. So, on one hand you dive right in and don't think about the consequences, and on the other you have back up plans? I would hate to be your psychologist. Plan B's are for people who fail Plan A. I won't fail Chris, and deep down, you know it. You have to put up a good showing for your fleeting reputation, or at least what's left of it... but you don't expect to actually win. Come on. You can be annoyed by everything about me, that's okay. But it won't translate to a win at Lethal Lottery. It won't fill that hole you keep searching to fill with empty match after empty match. This isn't about wrestling... it's something... more. You need to find your purpose. But in order to do that you need time to soul search and discover who you truly are at the core. So let me do what a real, selfless friend would... and take that Universal Championship, and keep it snuggly secured around my waist until you figure it all out. The furthest thing from what I am, is UNPREPARED. Or haven't you been paying attention as the blonde dye seeps into your scalp? You will not win. You can't. Life is a lot like wrestling. It's all about match ups. Odds. Like a sports bookie who knows who the better team is, but doesn't care because for some reason this one pesky team still beats them every time, even though no one else can determine how to pull it off. You wanna know the secret to beating Chris Chaos? You hit him where it hurts.
And the Cat's In The Cradle,
And the Silver Spoon,
Little Boy Blue,
And The Man In The Moon...
When Ya Comin' Home, Chris,
I Don't Know When,
We'll Get Together Then,
You Know We'll Have a Good Time Then...
When we first started hanging out after Vince forced us to team, I thought "I don't have time for this shit". It made me angry that he would step in like that. Then as time went on, I thought "I might just want this after all". But after all those after all's, you know what I really want? Suffering. I want you to grasp those thin fingers in the empty air reaching for me. As Old Man Johnson hands me your Championship. I want you to be helpless, Chris. I want you to be able to soak up every lasting morsel. The man who is better. Always was. You knew this day would come. Maybe you didn't think it would be so quick. Did you make reservations to be somewhere afterward? Well, cancel. Because you'll be laid up in bed, in tears. As the world around you responds the way it always does, and moves forward. It could be my ego. It could be yours. Claiming to have "manipulated me" the entire time. Well, that is two fold, friend. I knew you thought you were smart enough to pull shit like that, so I had my own plan. Not a B, like you. I'm still on plan A. A as in ARROGANT. See, that is the biggest tool to use against a TOOL like you. How good you THINK you are just because of what you achieved over... who exactly? All the toughest Champions in XWF were gone by the time you showed up. Yeah, I SAID IT! Your arrogance led you to believe that your plan was the only one in play. What a loser. The only thing you are the best at, is being an insufferable ass-clown. There are guys in the back begging me to take the Title, because it means less mic time for you, and an end to all those shitty promos we are all so sick of seeing that XWF is contractually obligated to replay through some half-assed Jefferson Jackson negotiation ploy. Yeah, your plan sure is coming together...
And the Cat's In The Cradle,
And the Silver Spoon,
Little Boy Blue,
And The Man In The Moon...
We definitely will have a good time then. April Fools day, what a perfect date to face the man who has made such a fool out of himself; so much so, that children buy barbies thinking THEY ARE Chris Chaos toys. They are nearly identical... and, well how could you blame them, there's all bitch and no action in barbies. Same skin tone, same dream house. Hey, maybe you can get one of those little pink jeep convertibles, you know, the ones for kids that are battery operated... you could ride it down to the ring for our MATCH! YESSS! OOO, OOOOOOOOOOO, LET ME!!!! Just kiddin'. Don't get so uptight Christopher. There is no shame in being a cantankerous jungle ho. Ask Michael McBride. So while the Cat's In The Cradle, the real meaning is very simple. Two former close people who over time and neglect end up switching positions in life. The song is about a dad and a son. This time, I will switch to Champion... and you will be... left behind.
When Ya Comin' Home, Chris,
I Don't Know When,
We'll Get Together Then,
You Know We'll Have a Good Time Then...
You're a cheapskate. A two-bit nobody. Obsessed with the things that come with success, but oblivious on how to do more than accidentally fall and trip into them. You won the matches you did on shear talent, but like so many before you, you were not willing to do the work to be GREAT. That is the DIFFERENCE between you and me. I will do whatever I need to. I've tasted World Championships. I've tasted the Unified X-Treme. I know what it takes to get there, because I used to be like you, and take it all for granted. That I would be the top guy from then on, and never even stopped to consider what it would take to evolve and stay there. It takes heart. Something your meaningless aggression cannot mimic in a real way. Talent will get you through the door, but what will keep you in the room, and at the podium is BEING SMARTER and willing to DIG DEEP INTO THE TRENCHES. To do what all the other people in that room will not. They "frown upon" such things. But that is why they SIT where they are, and why guys like us MAKE it there. And why this guy, will MAKE it there, and STAY there.
Don't worry, we all have learned from you mistakes Chris, so you haven't been a total loss. We all learned that if you rise fast recklessly that bad things will happen. Now we know. Thanks.
That will be all. You can go...
☆
Check out Backstage Page for full list of XWF achievements.
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