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X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF OOC » Out Of Character (OOC) Board
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horza13
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#1
05-01-2013, 01:23 AM

Hi just wanted some feedback on my first rp here at the XWF Smile Will send your rp's feedback as well Smile

http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=2543&pid=8463#pid8463
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Steve "KingSlayer" Davids Offline
Steve Davids



XWF FanBase:
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(booed by casual fans; hurts people; often angry)


#2
05-01-2013, 01:36 AM

Loved it. The description is brilliant and your vocabulary is clearly broad which I like. For me the only thing is structure, the paragraphing of that first paragraph should normally be broken up at certain points. Other than that though keep developing your character as you are and things are looking good!

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