The XTron gains a grainy feed of an undisclosed, pit-like cellar with cobblestone walls and a dirt floor. The lighting is poor, the air dusty, in the distance overtop of a faintly playing radio we hear what appears to be a woman screaming and pleading accompanied with a knocking sound of metal.
“God!!!!! HELP ME PLLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEE!!!!â€
A heavy sound of footsteps gets louder as if they’re nearing the camera… from behind the scene The Nightmare walks out infront of the camera, he turns back and waves …
“AH! Hello there! I knew it would be but a mere matter of time before I heard from one of you… my, my was it splendid.â€
Mr. Fernando, I believe there’s something you’re missing, and indeed it isn’t to be overlooked! I taped these awe inspiring promos from Hero XTreme’s advocate for you:
…and while they’re both horrendously executed, and nearly thirty seconds long each in totality, I must admit I find them more entertaining than that ten minuet stagnet tangent of useless babbling you just made the world endure. At least there’s a smidge of depth and action within NOCMM's shit promo work…
Fabio Said:“We have him doing “Generic Promo 101â€, going into the arena and cutting a promo in the structure we’ll be fighting in, I almost feel like I’m watching a Cain promo from Turning Point,
Let us bear in mind this is a line from what must be THEE most standard XWF structured promo work you’ll find, which is always built from point A to point B in this exact structure:
1. Listen to your opponents promo, get irritated
2. Stand directly in front of a camera in an action-less room
3. Call your opponent shit, and compare him to a laughably lesser competitor than yourself, usually one you’ve defeated in the past
4. Reiterate upon the exact same material you spew every week (eg. Your accomplishments, your ability)
5. Make no movements, no action and continue ramble into the camera.
6. Call your opponent a liar, or a jackass and refute anything else he or she has claimed
7. Guarantee to win your match
It is undoubtedly the most overused system of getting your point across that I’ve seen in my short time here in XWF, and for you to call anything I’ve done generic? Well it simply on solidifies the fact that you’re a complete idiot.
To call a promo with structure, depth, meaning and feeling; bland, or boring, or generic, while spatting out the exact same self-romanticizing rubbish that you and the rest of these so-called ‘superstars’ force feed down these people’s throats week in and week out speaks in the loudest of volumes to the measure of your wit. Fernando, it’d be just grand if you did the world a favor and not reproduce your obviously watered down genetics, so please practice safe sex and go fuck yourself.
Cry Baby Said:Now I know with people like you coming onto the show every second week or whatever, you’re pretty much sending the whole thing into a downward spiral, but we have enough talent here to last for quite a while.
Whaaaa…. Whaaaa…. Whaaaa… Could you really cry anymore Austin? ...But of course you can!
Ricky Martin Said:I want you to actually find a fact for once, instead of grasping at straws and taking stabs in the dark like you did for the entirety of your promo.
Stop being a lazy prick and making up a bunch of lies and other moronic bullshit
Well how about we try this on for size Austin? Since my arrival I was booked four straight weeks on Warfare programming including the Lethal Lottery PPV, going 2-2 in my matches, one of those matches of course being in Round 3, where if not for your flopping friend Justin Sane who practically no-showed our match- I would have been moving onto the main event of Lethal Lottery and would of easily walked away with that coveted Briefcase in hand.
I was never pinned or made to submit in those four weeks either… which I’m sure you’ll attempt spin off in some douche-baggy way…
‘Oh that's how forgettable your matches were, because no one was paying attention! Ha, ha, ha!’
Maybe you’d forget such facts because you were nowhere around Austin. Matter of fact, until last week on Warfare, you hadn’t been on ANY programming outside of the Stampede since you stormed out of Ozy’s office like a little bitch after the first round of Lethal Lottery, because you needed to ‘focus’ on The Stampede… well we all know what good that did you. So you wanted facts? Here is a fact, you contradicted yourself more times in your promo, than weeks I’ve taken off from Warfare... three to one.
What have you REALLY done of any REAL value here Austin besides winning a few gimmie matches against fat washed up fucks like Peter Gilmour, earning you the title ‘Next In Line to be fat washed up fuck like Peter Gilmour’…err I mean Mr. Warfare? Please enlighten me. The way you speak in overused parables about being:
‘Better than whoever steps in my path’
…yet you’ve been here how long? ..and have yet to win a singles title? You’re but a little Chihuahua, all bark and no bite. Maybe you’re right Fernando… maybe you’ll somehow eke out a win on Wednesday night, but how about I make my guarantee now. I guarantee after Wednesday night you’ll forever remember the time you stepped into the Clusterfuck with Dylan ‘The Nightmare’ George.
"Please... God PLEASE!!! Somebody help me!!!!"
The Nightmare irritatingly glances to his left, then looks back at the camera
Sebastian Duke finally decided to show up, and I must admit I was completely wrong about what I suspected a promo for the ‘King of Darkness’ would sound like… While I was correct about you groaning on about how amazing your accolades are by referencing former foes you’ve conquered and such… I expected much more after that, and my oh my what a waste of time it was listening to you.
While I found it within me to stoop as low as calling out Fernando’s foster home Defiance and all their recent folly in my first promo, you for some reason decided to take what I was able to disclose in a mere paragraph and drug it out into a ten minuet mind numbing tirade that left me dozing off from time to time.
I guess it’s understandable Duke that you never once acknowledged me in that promo of yours, you and I have never been properly introduced, and granted you are soooo much better than anyone else in this match. You’re a damned XWF legend. You’re The King of fucking Darkness! …Let me promise you this Sebastian, come Wednesday I have a sneaking suspicion that you’ll wish we’ve never crossed paths. I pray that you continue to overlook my presence leading up to your entrance in the Cell, it will make things all the sweeter while I’m gouging your eyes out with my thumbs.
Maybe you’re avoiding the inevitability that I’ll rip apart anything you dare speak against me just as have our counterpart Austin Fernando, and if that’s the case then you’re smarter than I’ve given you credit for… you see I don’t fear what you have to say, because at the end of the day you’re supposed to be better than me. I’m just a:
Chicken Fucker Said:a green as shit dumb fuck rookie.
…as the sure fire winner of our match pointed out. But with that same point being made, just how embarrassing will it be if I were to pull off the win? So just keep treating me like an afterthought if you’re so inclined to remain skeptical of what I’m capable of… you’ll learn soon enough.
“Is someone up there!?! Help me please!!! He’s fucking crazy!!!â€
The Nightmare lowers his head from the camera, looking extremely pissed and wonders off to an area of the floor that looks to be some type of water well. He reaches down and lifts up an extremely malnutritioned girl, covered in filth and bruises. He lifts her up into the air by her throat, pulling her close to his masked face…
“P-please… please don’t…â€
He cocks his head to the side, tightening down on her throat while she begins choking.
“Get the fuck out of here…â€
The Nightmare throws the woman to the floor as she scurries off out of view. Suddenly a door on the other side of the room bursts open,
“What in the hell is going on here?!?â€
In walks a freighting transvestite who had obviously been keeping the girl captive,
“Who the fuck are you!?!â€
The Nightmare turns back toward the camera,
“That's all for now my freinds, I have buisness to attend to. What’s the matter? Not what you expected? Remember that things are not always as they appear… again why this is why I so love the darkness…â€
He covers the cameras lens with the attached cap, causing the XTron to lose it’s visual,
“…follow me there gentlemen, for I am waiting.â€
“Get the fuck away..fr..om..AHHHH!â€
The man can be heard screaming in pain and gargling , just before the cracking sound of his neck snapping silences the audio.
The feed is lost.
The following 1 user Likes DYLANGEORGE's post:1 user Likes DYLANGEORGE's post Morbid Angel (04-10-2015)
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The following 1 user Likes DYLANGEORGE's post:
green as shit dumb fuck rookie.
