| DEAD NICK   Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
 
 
 
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		| Karl_Cross   Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
 
 
 
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			| 04-03-2015, 01:41 AM 
 
 
				Hi dude.
 Both are quite well written and have plenty of layers on intrigue. I have a concern over the longevity of this gimmick though. Will it be going somewhere with the coma thing? If your character suddenly remembers himself at some later point then you kill off the gimmick but if you continue with the same idea behind it then it will become stale fast. In terms of your writing ability, you're at a good level but I feel you are writing your character in to a corner.
 
 My advice is to make sure you have a destination with this that keeps the character interesting.
 
 
				
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		| Vincent Lane   Rock n' Rolling XWF Owner and Megastar
 
          
   
  
 
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			| 04-03-2015, 05:41 AM 
 
 
				I think it could be easy enough to keep it fresh by learning new things about Nick's past.
 Maybe he was a wrestling champion overseas, maybe he's famous in some other country, maybe he has hidden knowledge of a completely different style... there are a lot of little things you could introduce over time.
 
 
				
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