I've been out of the game for a long time. This is the first return to fiction I've made in over two years. Please let me know what you guys think about it. My wife is no fucking help.
Hey, sorry I didn't respond earlier. I will get you some feedback in a few hours. I'm out and about doing whatever it is this place thinks I do. Promise.
Ok, I read it, and it was pretty solid. Just a few things, I'd suggest using a different colour for speech, it does help clear some things up. The training part was fantastic, I loved the Hockey talk, but you got one thing wrong. Only good thing Bruins have for them now is Torrey fucking Krug. But that's opinions. The biggest thing I didn't like was when you were in Fallujah after what I assume was a suicide bombing. You got a bit jumbled with what happened there, I felt. But I think that was an artistic choice, which is fine, but it muddled things.
Eddie Sheehan
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: Mixed reactions (cheered heavily at home; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)
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That was kind of my intention because it was a dream, but I probably should've made it clearer that he was dreaming, through imagery or something. Thanks a lot for the feedback, man. I really appreciate it.
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