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**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · **09-05-2014, 03:06 PM**

Battle thread

Deadline is Thursday 9/11, @ 12 noon PST.

Woeful · (09-05-2014)

MASTERMIND!

We apparently will meet in back-to-back matches next week. Prepare to be obliterated, brought back to life, and then obliterated again! I, WOE, am the end all of you, Mastermind. Your career in mediocrity will now be on display to the world! Swagmire did a miraculous job of showing just how pathetic you are, but now I will delve into the recesses of your mind. I will pull out the most embarrassing and most mortifying moments of Mastermind's life and career.

Are you ready, Mastermind?

Are you ready to bend over and take the ass beating that is headed your way? I hope so, Mastermind because WOE doesn't know the meaning of the word... enough.

Mastermind · **09-05-2014, 04:22 PM**

That's just typical of you WOE. You don't know the meaning of any words full stop.

Woeful · **09-05-2014, 04:40 PM**

Is that so? Well let me ask you, how's that pick-up line on your dick working out? Are the ladies just running to your knees to suck your dick? Somehow I doubt they are. I doubt they are just awaiting the moment someone 'Masters their mind.' Seriously, Mastermind. That sounds like a kinky porn film.

Mastermind · **09-05-2014, 05:27 PM**

Well you should know you've been in plenty yourself. You're not only a simpleton who doesn't understand words, but also a simple jerk off.as well.

Woeful · **09-06-2014, 03:25 AM**

You proclaim that Woe is simply a man with no words? DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM?!

I. AM. WOE.

I am the demolisher of bodies, the infiltration of brains, and the most intimidating man to enter the squared circle. I bend the wills of others to meet my perpetually altering agenda. I know, I know. You probably had a few words in that diatribe in which you need to look up. I'll wait while you go fiddle with a dictionary.

Mastermind · **09-06-2014, 03:43 AM**

ZZZZZZZZ

I'm sorry, what?

What a load a dribble, what a load of crap
Let's all eat a gingersnap

You bore me Woeful

Mastermind · (09-07-2014)

It seems Woeful has taken my advice and even fallen asleep himself because he's too ineffective.

Oh dear, ah well never mind.

Not up to the job? Woe, Woe, Very woeful.

Woeful · **09-07-2014, 10:41 AM**

Rhymes?! Rhymes?! You think I'm a joke Mastermind? How about that pity party that Shane took on you when he GAVE you that title back? That's a joke. You don't deserve that. If you did, then you would've defeated Swagmire and you would've defeated that little shithead kid. Instead what you did was cry until Daddy Shane came down to provide you a nipple to suckle. Hey I've got a dick all primed up for the sucking if you're interested Mr. Loser. Remember the last time you won an important match? Oh yeah he fell asleep because you bored him so much. You're an eye sore to the XWF and you ought to walk away while you're still able to walk.

Mastermind · **09-07-2014, 04:23 PM**

I don't think you're a joke Woeful, I know it.

There was no pity party, it was just Shane doing what he had to in a law abiding society. Do you want to live in lawless society? Where would that get anyone. You'd probably prosper because you would cheat and lie, and steal your way through everything. You would thrive. But alas we are not in a lawless society and that's the point. Cheating gets you no where. You aren't going anywhere.

I'm no eye sore. I am proud to do what I do.

You are deep in the muck, that you don't know what muck it is. Try and swim. Because you defiantly can't walk your way through it.

Woeful · **09-08-2014, 07:47 AM**

Society's overrated. What's the point of it anyways? It's just a way for people to keep you in line. You're probably in support of it because you were bullied as a child. Society let you run to Miss Frizzle and tell her, "Miss Frizzzzleeeee! Woe is being mean to me! He called me a pussyyyyy." She probably looked at you and hugged you, sending Woe to the office for insubordination. When really, she should have smacked the hell out of you and told you to man the fuck up. Well Mastermind, allow me to be the slap that wakes you the fuck up. I'm going to spank your ass and treat you like the little bitch you are.

Oh Mastermind, I'm thirsty. Will you grab that drink over there for me? And while you're at it will you just leave because you're embarrassing yourself in this duel.

Mastermind · **09-08-2014, 08:01 AM**

The only one who is embarrassing himself is you Woeful.

You talk a lot of crap, I bet you crap a lot of crap too. you probably don't walk the walk. You can only talk the talk.

The only person who is going to get their ass handed to them is you.

You probably grew up being that bully in the play ground, and then transferred it to all walks of life. Well you know where bullies come now days? Dead last. And that's what I'm doing to you now Woeful. Making you come dead last.

So come on then embarrass yourself some more.

Woeful · **09-08-2014, 08:24 AM**

Dead last? You know who the so-called bullies are in the adult world? CEOs. Successful athletes. Men who run the market. You can't be a pansy and run the world. It just doesn't work that way. You have to step on those in your way and push them down further and further until they are of no consequence to you. At the House Show, Mastermind will be pushed further and further down.

I would say I would take your X-Treme Title, but that would mean you be successful in defeating Bobby Zi and LH Harrison. And let's face it. LH Harrison has about 10x the potential that you do and he's been here about a third of the time you have. Bobby Zi is even better than you and he can barely speak the God Damn language. You're out of your league in the XWF. And you're certainly out of your league in the ring with Woe.

Now bow down before I break your kneecaps and force you to.

Mastermind · **09-08-2014, 02:00 PM**

I'm not sure you realise this, but you are making yourself look way more stupider than usual, and if that's the case, then it works for you. Well done Woeful, well done. Everyone can applaude you.

You know what though, I've looked up what stupider means in the dictionary, there's just a picture of you, and no definations. words cannot describe you which is a shame. But pictures of you looking stupid is even more shame. For you.

Woeful · **09-08-2014, 03:03 PM**

For one insinuating that I'm a moron, you sure do talk funny calling definitions 'definations.' Whatever the hell that is. And then you said 'defiantly' when I'm pretty sure you meant definitely. That or you're just a fucking

. I will break you over my knee on Thursday. I will smash you around like a toddler does to a blanket.

I am Woe, and I am no loser. You call yourself a submission master, but after I hit you with El Despuente, you will wail like a bitch in heat. Why not a normal wail? Because you're a frightened little girl. Frightened of what Big Bad Woe will do to you between the ropes. I'll tell you, I'll destroy you. After I destroy you, I will dub your cowboy hat and ride off into the sunset on my donkey named Mastermind. Why I named him after you? Well it's the first jackass I could think of. Ole punto.

Mastermind · **09-08-2014, 03:21 PM**

Who pissed in your meals today?

Oh I'm sorry was I meant to be offended? The only thing offending me is your lack of knowledge.

You certainly know what a jackass is like, because it's a thing that's called your face.

And to make matters worse you such a wonderful, caring, intelligent person. The magnificent Woe, the wonderful Woe, who will make me cry on Thursday. Oh I'm sorry I thought we were having a lying competition.

Woeful · **09-08-2014, 05:56 PM**

I feel as though I'm indulging a four year old. I'm not sure I can even respond to what you just said. Ugh. Just shut the hell up and get ready for your breath to smell like ass after I kick your ass into your throat.

Mastermind · **09-08-2014, 07:38 PM**

Dude, are you giving up?

What does that say about you? When the going gets tough, the tough gets going? When the going gets tough for Woe, Woe just runs away.

I pity you, no, I feel for you, no, I feel your pity.

You pretty pathetic.

Woeful · **09-09-2014, 12:17 PM**

I don't hinder. I don't surrender. I don't retreat. And I definitely don't give up. I merely meant I couldn't come up with anything on a two year-old level to combat your 'I like you! I'm lying' charade. However if you think I'm going to lie down and take a beating from you, you must be out of your mind. I will break your back and leave you a motionless puddle of apathy. After I get done beating the hell out of you, I think I will take some of my Rooks with me and go gang bang your mother. Show her how a real Monster dick feels.

Mastermind · **09-09-2014, 01:25 PM**

It is you who is out of your mind, out of this world, out of this life time, if you like to go around beating up others that don't involve you.

You probably wouldn't know where to start though, because your nose is so far up your arse that you smell very woey. Very woeful.

You're not even in my league even, so when I get through with you on Thursday you're going to wish you didn't get a chance to beat me.

And when we meet again in a match for real I'll even beat your arse then.

I could beat you with my hands tied behind my back.

Look mum no hands.

Woeful · **09-09-2014, 07:03 PM**

You can test your theory of no hands soon, Mastermind. Right after I rip your arms out of their sockets and beat you unconscious with them.

Two days away. Two days until you realize what it truly means to feel Woeful.

Mastermind · **09-09-2014, 11:52 PM**

You must know what it truly feels to be Woeful because you call yourself that all the time. So no wonder you take it out on every one.

People must pity you everywhere you turn up.

You act big, you sound big, but deep down inside you must have the little boy syndrome.

Woeful · **09-10-2014, 11:49 AM**

Little boy syndrome. You'll know how that feels when I break your legs off at the kneecaps. There is nothing little about Woe. Not my stature, not my arms, not my voice, not my brains, not even my dick.

You want to know how my childhood was? I was bullied. The bigger kids used to pick on me, but you know what I did? I picked on them back. They would beat me up, but I would fight back. A bully doesn't mess with a kid after they throw a punch back. They realize it's easier to go onto guys like Mastermind who will sit there with their head in their lunchbox and cry while the bullies eat their pudding and sandwiches.

You have to learn to stand up for yourself or enjoy the taste of shit. Because that's all you'll get for the rest of your life.

Mastermind · **09-10-2014, 12:16 PM**

Let's all play the violin for Woe, and go 'ohhhhhh'

1... 2.... 3... 'ohhhhhhh' Poor Woe

Do you actually know the difference between standing up for yourself and picking your battles Woe? No I don't think so, because your confused. Your confusion reigns supreme it smells of shit.

Let me wipe that shit away from you, nope, can't? It forever sticks with you like mud.

Woeful · **09-10-2014, 01:33 PM**

Picking your battles? So you're that creepy guy in the corner that writes names in a journal of who should die? And then brings a gun to school and shoots all of those people before executing yourself? You fucking creep. And don't you dare pity me. I don't need your fucking pity. There was only one thing I needed from you and you lost it to Bobby Zi.

HAHAHAHA.

Bobby Fucking Zi. Way to fucking go you

. Well I guess it was fair to have the two

battle, but I just figured that was a given win for you, DickMaster. I guess I was wrong.

Oh and congratulations on your big win at Super Shove It. Ermm... I mean loss. You did a good job laying on your back and taking abuse though. A fantastic job. Maybe I should take notes on how to make myself look like a punk ass bitch. Nah, I'd never use them.

Mastermind · **09-10-2014, 08:35 PM**

Blah Blah yes i lost the X-Treme Championship.

How many times have you won it? Yea I thought so. A big fat zero.

How many times did you try to pin me? Yea I thought so. Twice. How'd that go? Very woeful for you.

Talk to the hand.

Woeful · **09-11-2014, 10:39 AM**

But I've been here how long? And how long have you been here? As for your hand, after I beat you I will rip your hand off and stick it straight up your ass!

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