Battle thread

Deadline is Thursday 9/11, @ 12 noon PST.

Welcome to the house of Inspiration, you Scottish reject. You're a third generation star... well third generation something anyways. Welcome to the XWF and welcome to the House Show format. Essentially it's a full week-long event where I will verbally berate you until you begin cryin all da wey back 'ome to mami. Well let's see what you've done so far in the XWF....

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Uhuh...


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Well look here, it's absolutely nothing! You've come to the main roster and obliterated the Xtreme Champion from behind and helped a racist ex-cop win a title that he lost the next day. Congratulations. Now a little boy is holding the Xtreme Championship and who is directly responsible? You, Martin McPherson, you. I hope you're proud of yourself.

So this is the House of Inspiration?

Funny. I don't feel quite inspired, lad. I feel nauseous, actually.

*Sarcasm* I just want you to do good, an' be inspired.

I'd say I'm doing quite proper, boy. As a matter of fact, I am startin' to feel inspired. Inspired to kick yer arse and make ya change your name to Linda Harrison. Aye, I laid out Mastermind. I made him lose his championship. How many times have you unsuccessfully tried to dethrone the Xtreme Champion?

Hrm?

Well, Mr. Eater of Dreams... I can call you that, right? Or should I call you laddy? Or maybe we should change your name to McFannyson because I'm going to kick your junk so hard into you that you are legally classified as a woman. Maybe then your accent will come out making sense because all I'm hearing right now is.

O'mally.... blah blah blah... kilts... blah blah blah... bagpipes...

O'Mally is an Irish name, twit. You really dropped a clanger there.

Ya seem to like to walk around thinkin' you're the mutt's nuts 'cause yer some jock from Nebraska, but when they were handin' out brains, ya thought they said "train". Good thing they've got...you Americans call it "football"? Football scholarship. 'Cause ya don't seem to have any bloody idea of what yer on about. Maybe yer lack of proper intellience is the chink in yer armour. But hey, at least ya tried to insult my heritage.

Course, when we step in that ring. Ya won't do that. Because, Linda, I am going to beat you so bad that yer mother is going to encourage ya to quit. Which by seein' me on yer television screen, ya already know is a novel idea. Face it, Harrison, I am goin' to sock ya so hard in ya gabber that yer gonna be talkin' backwards for two weeks.

Like... diputs taht yllaer uoy era? Aye, I jest spoke backwards. Whatcha gon' do about it, you cunt?

You mock me because I drop a name like O'Malley which is Irish instead of Scottish? And then you call Arkansas, Nebraska? Would you like me to show you a map? I can show you where Arkansas is, and I can show you a map of Hope to show you just where I'll bury your career after I beat you next week.

Well McPhannyson you seem adequate at talking backwards. I mean you've been talking out of your anus since this all begun. Now let's look at your long girly hair. I bet you spend a couple of hours a night combing and straightening your hair, don't you? Hell, you probably spend about an hour brushing your boyfriend's hair too. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it would explain why you're so good at sucking.

Oops. I guess McPhannyson got lost and forgot he had a match with me. Well he better soon remember or I will rip his girly hair out by the roots and force feed it to him. Oh and McPhannyson? You must have the absolute WORST Scottish accent I've ever heard. My ears are still insulted by it.

But since you aren't going to respond to me, I may as well take a nap. I wish you were here to talk to me. Your promos usually do just the thing.

Zzzzzz

Zzzzzz

This is the kind of music that you listen to? No wonder you all are so angry all the time. This is the number one song of all time in Scotland by the way.

Oh hi there. I forgot this match was going on briefly because I've been sitting here pounding away on your face with no retaliation! Maybe you don't understand how this works. You see, I trash talk you and then you trash talk me. This is followed up by me retaliating and it goes round and round and round. Evidently this is too hard a concept for your tiny brain as you haven't responded in several days. Ah well. Prepare to have your teeth knocked down your throat you Scottish nimrod.