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**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · **02-24-2014, 11:14 AM**

Battle thread

Deadline is Friday, 12 noon PST.

Lazarus · **02-24-2014, 01:09 PM**

So, let's get this straight: I beat three people on Shove It (one of which being the King), and then immediately thereafter I'm given a cool down match I knew was going to happen against Axle King. Do these people think I need to cool down any further? Throwing me against Hunter Payne of all people? Could've at least thrown me with that sorta good looking goth bitch Ann Thraxx if you're going to throw me an easy (Flawless) victory. But no, I gotta scramble some sort of positive from this one sided beatdown that I'm gonna give to Payne.

Well, I get to kick the shit out of Hunter Payne.

That's a plus.

An elderly man with Parkinson's would be a more intimidating opponent than Payne, but that's beside the point.

Hunter Payne · **02-25-2014, 08:17 AM**

Lazarus you mysterious motherfucker.

I get the feeling you are underestimating Hunter Payne. A foolish mistake to make! Almost as foolish as your attire, or your bipartisan beliefs! Can't decide to be a hero or a villian? "Why not be both?" says Lazarus.

Because you can't Lazarus!

Pick a side, you indecisive clown!

Speaking of clowns, back to your 'attire', I believe TNA Wrestling has already copyrighted a idiot sideshow in a red body suit. But I guess originality isn't exactly your strong suit is it Lazarus?

I really don't know how you came to the conclusion that our match was going to be a walk in the park for you. Rest assured, it won't be...

And if you were serious about hooking up with Ann Thraxx, I still have her number from when we were a team. I could give it to you right after I beat you.

Sound good "Batman"?

Lazarus · (02-26-2014)

(02-25-2014, 08:17 AM)Hunter Payne Said:
Lazarus you mysterious motherfucker.

I get the feeling you are underestimating Hunter Payne. A foolish mistake to make! Almost as foolish as your attire, or your bipartisan beliefs! Can't decide to be a hero or a villian? "Why not be both?" says Lazarus.

Because you can't Lazarus!

Pick a side, you indecisive clown!

Speaking of clowns, back to your 'attire', I believe TNA Wrestling has already copyrighted a idiot sideshow in a red body suit. But I guess originality isn't exactly your strong suit is it Lazarus?

I really don't know how you came to the conclusion that our match was going to be a walk in the park for you. Rest assured, it won't be...

And if you were serious about hooking up with Ann Thraxx, I still have her number from when we were a team. I could give it to you right after I beat you.

Sound good "Batman"?

Any more pop culture references you wanna throw out there? What's next; are you going to compare me somehow to Jersey Shore? Because, that seems to be the only fucking thing you're capable of. Makes sense; you don't have the half a brain needed to say anything actually clever so instead you decide to become the real life equivalent of "The 41 Year Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About it," however somehow even more painfully unbearable to listen to. But that's just one part of this bullshit, and believe it or not, there's more!

Hunter Payne makes a comment about how I'm wrong for underestimating him, then proves why no one should ever take him seriously: he somehow thinks I'm trying to be both a hero and a villain.

Newsflash you fucking

: there are no heroes, there are no villains.

But if I had to force myself to fit that mold, I'd call myself a villain. Where did you get this whole trying to be both thing from? My application? Did that leak? Was I supposed to take that seriously? I was about to just pour store brand black cherry soda on it and call it a day.

Also, I love how you brought up your failed stable before I did.

Haha, SEX was a thing.

Hunter Payne · **02-27-2014, 12:11 AM**

Lazarus Said:"Any more pop culture references you wanna throw out there? What's next; are you going to compare me somehow to Jersey Shore? "

Challenge accepted!

Lazarus, your promos are as terrible as that show.

Lazarus, you're a bigger imbecile than Snooki.

Lazarus, you're as egotistical as that orange guy with the shitty haircut, and the tanned abs...

Which I guess is every guy on that show, but anyway, mission accomplished!

And I'm sorry for all the pop culture references, I guess I'm just more socially active than you are.

Lazarus Said:Because, that seems to be the only fucking thing you're capable of. Makes sense; you don't have the half a brain needed to say anything actually clever so instead you decide to become the real life equivalent of "The 41 Year Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About it," however somehow even more painfully unbearable to listen to.

Hey, I liked that movie...

Wait promo spoilers!

Is this the part where you mock my intelligence? Because I've seen this one play out in every-fucking-opponent-I-have-ever-had-ever!

So let's see what this someone something, had as evidence to question the IQ of Hunter Payne.

Lazarus Said:But that's just one part of this bullshit, and believe it or not, there's more!

Hunter Payne makes a comment about how I'm wrong for underestimating him, then proves why no one should ever take him seriously: he somehow thinks I'm trying to be both a hero and a villain.

Newsflash you fucking : there are no heroes, there are no villains.

Not true actually. Heroes and Villains are very real. In fact, I will name off a bunch of heroes and superheroes just for you Laz.

Me, for everyone.
Zorro, for Mexicans.
Superman, for white people.
Batman, for dark and depressed people such as yourself Laz.
Spiderman, for teens, tweens, and kids.
Meteorman, for black people.
Aquaman, for Aquarians.
Captain America, for white people that hate Hitler. Ironically, creating an Aryan superhero in the process.
Ironman, for Transformer nerds who couldn't quite make the leap from cars to people.
Thor, for Space geeks who couldn't quite make the leap from Star Wars to people.
Bluntman and Chronic, for potheads.
Wonderwoman, that's a tough one...
The Hulk, for freakishly strong anti-socials.
Hugh Hefner, for everyone.
The Fantastic Four, I don't know, for gay people I guess.
Daredevil, for crippled people.
Kool-Aid Man, for black people and the poor alike.
Wolverine and the rest of the X-men, for deformed people and freaks, you'd also fit this Laz.

And of course, all the fighting men and women overseas, and all the policemen and firefighters here at home to risk life and limb everyday to make sure we can wrestle and live our lives. God Bless America.

But you don't believe in heroes or villains, so by default you don't think these mentioned men and women are heroes?

For shame Lazarus! You Redcoat-Nazi-communist-Vietcong-terrorist-Bastard!

You heard it here first folks, Lazarus hates America.

You've been Lawyered!

Lazarus Said:But if I had to force myself to fit that mold, I'd call myself a villain. Where did you get this whole trying to be both thing from? My application? Did that leak? Was I supposed to take that seriously? I was about to just pour store brand black cherry soda on it and call it a day.

First and foremost...

Black Cherry Soda is gross!

Second, so I am supposedly "Fucking

" for just reiterating something you yourself said about yourself on official XWF documentation. Correct my

if I'm wrong, but If I am

for saying the same thing you've already said previously, then doesn't that make you the

for saying it first?

Geez, that made a lot of sense for a "fucking

" didn't it...

And another thing, is it my fault you don't take your job seriously?

Any other job in this great country and management would have taken one look at that cherry soda stained application and thrown it in the trash, where it belongs.

Yet in this hellhole known as the XWF, your lazy, pathetic kind thrive here. It's a real bummer for true wrestling stars, such as myself.

Lazarus Said:Also, I love how you brought up your failed stable before I did.

Haha, SEX was a thing.

SEX hasn't ended! We are just on a Sabbatical. SEX has to stick around because the war on drugs will never end. Just as new laws are being passed stopping some drugs, some idiot uses cough syrup to get high, inventing a new drug to fight against. Then once we beat that, some moron gets high on something new, puts on a red and black body suit, and tries to compete against the Straight Edge Apostle! I see it every other week. You are no different Lazarus.

Lazarus · **02-27-2014, 08:34 AM**

So, Hunter Payne rambled a bunch and ultimately said nothing. Great. This is exactly what i expected from the brilliant mind that bestowed Joy Giovanni on the XWF. But hey, if he can go on about superheroes for five fucking minutes, then I guess I can indulge in one of my more "nerdy" pleasures. Time to channel the spirit of Cinema Sins and point out everything wrong with Hunter Payne's retort (in under a minute or so, you know, to fit with the suggested time limit that you blew out of the water?)

Hunter Payne takes my bait and actually does compare me to Jersey Shore. Way to show spinelessness there.

Hunter Payne fails to see the reason why people insult his intelligence; it's because it's fucking nonexistent.

I am Anti American, what now? Your ace in the holes are really underwhelming.
'
Also in that same vein, using logical fallacies to actually enhance an argument. But wait, he'll say he was joking because that's original.

Hunter Payne thinks anything I say on a roster page that I pretty much called a joke right then and there was supposed to be taken seriously. Yeah, I'm aware that I just called out the "I was joking" card but that's because I fucking invented it.

This lazy motherfucker beat Theo Pryce, Titan, and two other motherfuckers on Shove it. What have you done lately?

Lastly, he's in denial about the self destruction of his own stable. Too bad, so sad.

Wow, you done fucked up.

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