XWF feed cuts in to a man with a smile on his face. He messes up his own hair and rolls eyes.

Hey all.. I'm just hear to announce my recent signing to the XWF.

I just want to say that it will be an honor to work amongst some of you, and a travesty that I share the same roster with others. For God sakes, there is a tranny as the King of the XWF..At least I think he is a tranny..

Anyways this is just a little introduction. I'm Gavin Graves. I can be your absolute nightmare, or I can be your best friend in the whole wide world. So you know the problems with being my enemy I will list them.

One..You won't like me when I'm angry. Bruce Banner has nothing on me.

Two..I can make your life a living hell in various ways.. anything from leaving you a bloody pulp or making you drink your own piss unknowingly..don't ask how. I have done it before.

And the third and most important one is that I know people. I wouldn't even have to get my hands dirty..

He grins widely once again exposing his teeth.

Now that all of that negative mess is out of the way. I would like to inform you of the perks of being my friend.

One..I send out Christmas cards with my dog and I on them every year.. You don't wanna miss out on those. I even put a witty little anecdote at the end. And for that one instance only I dot my 'i's" with little hearts..Don't ask why that's just what I do.

Two...As I said, I know people. You get in some shit, I can get you out.

Three..I'm not Peter Gilmour.

and Four.. if you haven't turned off your electronic device yet. You just wanna be my friend cause I know lots of bitches. And if you are in need of some action like..I don't know Hunter Payne... I can getcha laid. It may not be the most beautiful or fit chick, but I can and I WILL help you out of your dry spell.

Now since the facts are laid out for all to evaluate. I would like to say a couple for things.. If you like me..good. You deserve a fucking cookie. And if you don't like me say bye to the Christmas cards.

Gavin stops smiling..

Oh yeah..and FUCK OFF!

Gavin Graves flips off the camera as the feed fades to black

Hey look, guys, somebody who thinks that they are the best thing since Barney Green was born! Yes, that's right, another one!

I think I just sort of glossed over what you said... but talking about offering to get other people laid so they can be your friend? How desperate are you, exactly? Apparently, desperate enough to own a pretty pink dress and a blonde wig, so that you can 'help your cousin Gavin make friends-- teehee!'.

Weak.

Buddy, boy. You chose wrong....or right depending on how you look at it..

Maybe you are one of them people that need to get laid...

And how do I look at it? Hmm I look at it as someone's gonna get their ass whooped.

Wow. If you really think that way, why bother to even sign up? A pessimistic attitude is not a good trait to have, boy. Not at all.

Your really funny. I would like you if you weren't a disrespectful pissant. But I suppose that could be your testosterone level bubbling over the top because you obviously haven't been laid in a while..

And I'm here to stay. I'm not pessimistic. I state facts. As I said I'm a fairly happy dude, but you YOU are..wow.. your a God damn fool thinking that you can get all up in my shit and I'm not going to do anything about it.. Jesus Christ!

Graves smiles. A smile that reveals that he isn't too pissed, but that could change in a heart beat.

And there you go again talking about getting laid and what not. Keep it up like that and people will think you're thirteen.

Especially with that haircut, Jesus.

And you're here to stay? Sure, I can buy that. Mitchell needs to feud with someone I guess...

Smoke..What a weird name..Ha! You are a joke. I'm sure whoever this Mitchell guy is can be more of an asset than you will ever be. And as far as the cracks about you needing to get laid.. No I'm obviously a man. You just seem insecure.

That's right you are proving ole Gavin's point. So fuck off chump.

Oh my God he's insulting my ringname too! Jésus Jalapeno Christ below, he's just the full package, isn't he!?

Fuck man, maybe do a little bit more research before you tell a guy to piss off. You've only been in the XWF for what, a day? By that time I was already the UFO Champion, and I was walking my way into one of the most brutal matches in the past few months. And as a result of that, I became the X-Treme Champion in less than a month. Sure I lost it immediately, but it's in the record books. And what about more recently? Well, I've held the UFO title for a month, then, after giving it away, I won it back and kept it for just 13 minutes before giving it away again. Because I'm charitable. Get used to it. And now I've got the boss of the whole mother fucking company in my corner.

What your step, boyo. This place is laden with traps... and by traps I mean a shit ton of angry guys who enjoy the sight of a beheading on live TV.

And then there's PAYBACK.

Need I say anymore? Or are you just going to stick with 'but you haven't had sex' argument?

I should stick with the sex thing..cause it's so obviously true. BUT I'm not gonna. It's obvious that your cocky. And in a lot of ways you have every right to be from what you just told me, but to me..It seems like you have had things handed to you. That's just what I see as an outside observer..

Now.. I just wanted to introduce myself, and nothing more. I realize I have been here for a little less than a day, but what YOU fail to realize is that this is just the beginning, man. I told the whole world before your ass interrupted me that I can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

Was I lying? Would you like to find out?

The answer to both of those questions is a resounding "no". I don't care who you have backing you, dude. I'm still more of a man than you will ever be. And those smug, smart ass comments get you nothing from me. Nothing but a chuckle and several thoughts on how I could maim you for life.

Smoke chuckles and rolls his eyes.

Right. While you do the whole 'I'm new so I need to prove myself' shtick, I'll be over here...

Actually being at least noteworthy.

Are you mentally handicapped? Seriously answer that question because I will leave you alone if you are. I wouldn't feel right about kicking your ass if you are a tard.

Making fun of people who are disabled are we?

...How are you the good guy again?

I said I wouldn't hit you if you were.. I think that's a mark of a good guy.

You done running your mouth yet?

Smoke shrugs.

Nah, I think I've made my point.

Not sure why I even bothered in the first place, since clearly you're not worth my time.

Smoke laughs it off and leaves, not bothering to look back.

This is beyond bad. This, is just getting sad and pathetic, Smoke is devaluing himself on a grand scale, by conversing with this obvious mouth breather, and this mouth breather is exposing his inexperience when it comes to formulating and communicating even the simplest of snark filled remarks. Oh, and Smoke? I'd like you to know that I see absolutely none of whatever it is Shane sees in you.

OOC: Damn internet! I was a little late on this reply!

Gavin Graves turns away as Smoke walks out of the room. He looks forward atthe camera once more

Now that guy was a fucking prick. I wonder how many other shit-sacks like him are here. My stay here could be most enjoyable..

For me, you see. Smoke-A-dick just proved my point. In useless banter I can hang with the the best of em.

But as far as the people I have yet to meet go..I will enjoy meeting all of you.

Well hello. I assume you are just as snarky as the that piss ant huh?

(11-29-2013, 06:08 PM)Gavin Graves Said: Well hello. I assume you are just as snarky as the that piss ant huh?

Snarkier is an understatement, Gravedigger (which, seeing your eloquence, I could only assume was your job prior. I would look at your record on Gio's files, but you're nowhere near that interesting). However, instead of wasting time pillow talking Smoke Man, if I were you I'd be working on impressing your bosses, who some would label "Psychotic".

That's a fucking lie, though. I am a psychopath, thank you very much!

I'm assuming that's as "nice" as it is going to get. So I guess I will take it.

But no I wasn't a gravedigger..that wasn't clever by the way.. I was actually a police officer. I won't go into details on that right now though. There's some legal troubles. If my file in Mr. Giovanni's office was THAT extensive you would know the whole thing.

But rest assured as soon as I get a match it will not take much to impress you people.

(11-29-2013, 06:25 PM)Gavin Graves Said: I'm assuming that's as "nice" as it is going to get. So I guess I will take it.

But no I wasn't a gravedigger..that wasn't clever by the way.. I was actually a police officer. I won't go into details on that right now though. There's some legal troubles. If my file in Mr. Giovanni's office was THAT extensive you would know the whole thing.

But rest assured as soon as I get a match it will not take much to impress you people.

I assure you; our files are that extensive, it was all a matter of whether or not I had the desire to look into your past. Which, of course, was and still is not the case. As for my unclever remark, you have to realize that I'm working with a handicap here; I have to make sure you'd understand it.

In regards to your boast of not needing much to impress, If I had a shred of compassion or empathy, or any sense of regard for the feelings of others, I would hope for your sake that you do exactly as you say.

You do this a lot I assume?

(11-29-2013, 06:41 PM)Gavin Graves Said: You do this a lot I assume?

Do what? Make veiled threats, act condescending to those left under my governance, or be effortlessly beautiful? All three of those questions have the same answer, yes. All the time.

You couldn't threaten me, darling. You words cut like a knife, but your eyes say you are a scared little girl... So no I was more referring to the fact that you attempt to get under people's skin and fail.

No disrespect intended. And It isn't an empty promise.. I can and WILL impress in that ring.

(11-29-2013, 07:09 PM)Gavin Graves Said: You couldn't threaten me, darling. You words cut like a knife, but your eyes say you are a scared little girl... So no I was more referring to the fact that you attempt to get under people's skin and fail.

No disrespect intended. And It isn't an empty promise.. I can and WILL impress in that ring.

My eyes? The only flash in my eyes is one of childish glee. I lost all sense of fright and innocence, oh, maybe ten or so years ago? Sounds about right. However, onto what you were questioning me on. No, I don't fail at getting under people's skin. Including yours, so it would appear.

Go ahead. Just remember, all it takes is one slip up, and your words will be forced down your throat faster an Ethiopian child devours a tasteless block of nutrients so that he won't die in one of my sweatshops factories.

Remember that.

Gavin Graves smiles with enthusiasm.

Gotcha boss lady. I hear ya loud and clear.. even through that shield of bitchiness.

He then winks creepily.

(11-29-2013, 06:07 PM)Gavin Graves Said: For me, you see. Smoke-A-dick just proved my point.[/i]

Smoke pokes his head around the corner, having not quite left yet. He has a pretty stern look on his face, and in a deep and nonchalant voice says;

That's hilarious.

Sarcasm intensifies.

OOC: Late reply because sleep. Gahahahah.

You're not gone yet?!

Piss off!

ooc: and it's cool someone else popped up in here...I halfway expected you not to post again.

Solange: And look at what we have here! Gavin Graves hey boy how doin'? Look at you aren't you in your grungy feelings today. Hey did you know that your booked to fight me and some other person who I don't know on the 7th? Are you ready?

Triple H comes out of nowhere and puts his face in the camera

Triple H: No she said, ARRRRRREEEEE..... YOOOOOUUUU..... READDDDDDDYYYYYYYY!

Triple H looks at Solange and runs off

Solange: The fuck? Anyway yeah just wondering, cuz I am!!!

Well of course...

What the fuck was Triple H doing here?

Solange: The fuck if I know his irrelevent ass but what I do know is that a bitch is to ready for this Saturday