"What up, XW-Fam? It's yo-boy-yo, Calypso!"

Our hero, former XWF Television Champion, Calypso, appears on the screen. He's sitting at the bar in his kitchen recording this message via his laptop with a dark, blurry vision of his disheveled studio apartment behind him. Definitely looking worse for wear, he's sporting a full neck brace and two shiny, black-eyes.

"As ya'll can see, I'm still a little banged up from my match against Peter Vaughn last Warfare in what was an absolutely superb main event."

He leans back in his chair and attempts a stretch, but groans at the pain coming from his neck. He winces and looks back at the screen with blurry, melty eyes.

" I may look pretty broken on the outside, but fear not, ladies and bruhs, I'm still whole on the inside and most-def ready for the next chapter in the old Book of Calypso! And what an exciting new chapter it is! It's an insane opportunity to, for the first time ever, not only take part in War Games, but captain my very own team! Raaah!! Raaaaaaaah!!"

Calypso imitates a crowd of screaming fans. He flails his arms a bit too much and the movements cause him to wince again and sob softly in pain and silence for a few moments before regaining his composure and leaning forward into the camera again.

"Everyone and their brother knows that I drafted the best team this year. You can smell it in the air and you can see it in their eyes. Four totally-awesome competitors, all former-or-current champions. With an A+ Draft Rating, with my numero uno and the 6th overall pick….. She's been gone for a while, but, oh baby, she is back! Game Girl come on down! With my back-to-back pick at 7th place I chose a current Tag Team Champ! NK! Come on down! And lastly, with the final pick of the draft I picked up a former TV, Tag, and Xtreme Champion… Our very own Scarface, Hanari Carnes! An all-star line-up that's going to break and make records, bruh! An all-pro team that's gonna sweep through the competition with not just finesse, but with ease! It's all in the name, bay beeeeeeee."


War Games World Record Speedrun 100% Any%


"That's right! With this team, we're going beyond any playthrough in the past. With lightning speed and accuracy, we will defeat each of our foes, score every achievement, and blast away every high-score by any means necessary! The War Masters are first in line and their ticket home is already punched and paid for. Mastermind is no leader. He's created the facade of one by most-likely hiring a number of minions to follow him around and take orders from him. The weak following the weak. To lead you gotta be strong, bruh, and while my record may not express it… I'm strong enough to lead a pack of warriors to a victory. If one of Mastermind's own teammates had put the effort in that I did, perhaps we'd have been singing a different tune the last couple of weeks. *AHEM* Peter Vaughn. Mastermind's first pick was saved for the guy that can't swim. Let's hope ya'll don't hit a water level. Then he grabs Dolly Waters, another 'grower-not a shower'. The mistake with drafting Dolly is that Dolly needs that leadership, otherwise she'll try to take the role on herself and screw the whole pooch for everybody. If there's a chance for glory I think she'd cut anyone's throat to get it, though. Red flag. And after a couple of wiggles the final little hanger finally bloops into the water. Everyone, welcome the retired, undrafted Thaddeus Duke to the party. If anyone thinks this changes anything, they're–"

Calypso is interrupted by a knock at his door and pauses the recording. He gets up off the stool and heads over to look through the peep-hole. Seeing no one, he opens the door and looks down.

"A COMMODORE 64?! NO KIDDING!"

Calypso hurts himself again reaching down to pick the box up off the ground. He hobbles back over to the bar near where he was recording.





"To: the Blue Tango…? What the…?"

Calypso opens the box, pulls out the console, and plugs it all into an outlet at the bar. He holds the box upside down to empty the only thing remaining…





"Oh, cool."

Yeah… Cool, alright… Calypso was happy to hear from his teammate out of the blue like this… But he couldn't help but wonder what Game Girl wanted with the Blue Tango. Calypso grabs the floppy disk, shoves it into the console, then boots it up. After several minutes, the screen turns blue and flickers.

"Bruh… This thing has to be ancient!"

Ancient or not, the thing didn't have a speck of dust or a scratch on it. Several minutes pass before the screen stays blue and prompts for the spacebar. With his index finger drawn, Calypso carefully and lightly presses down on the key. The screen flickers some more and then...





"Dude! Game Girl?!"

GG smirks before reaching forward through the screen, grabbing Calypso by the collar, and pulling him into the game screen. Like an old cheesy 80's flick, Calypso is sucked into a virtual void where he falls through darkness….









"WOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"









Calypso falls until he lands hard, belly-first on solid ground. He lies motionless for a few moments to catch his breath from all the screaming then sat up and noticed that the long fall through the almost endless void didn't hurt at all. He also noticed that his injured neck no longer felt so injured and, without looking, his eyes didn't seem so puffy.

"What is this place?"

His voice echoed around him. It bounced back like he was in a cave where everything, the floor, the ceiling, the walls (if there were any), were all pitch black. Strangely though, even without any source of light, Calypso could look down and see himself. He held up his hands and stretched them out in front of him then touched himself in the chest then the face….

"Hello?"

His voice echoes back several times. Afraid to move, Calypso tests for solid ground in front of him and takes a step.

"WELCOME ADVENTURER!!!"

A loud, deep voice finally yells back at Calypso and nearly scares him into cardiac arrest.

"THE JOURNEY AHEAD OF YOU WILL BE DIFFICULT. THE TRIALS WILL TEST YOUR MIGHT AND EVERY SKILL. TELL ME, WHERE DO YOU HAIL? NAME YOUR RACE."

Calypso finally accepts the voice in the sky and takes a gulp.

"Uhhmm.. WHITE!"

"CHOOSE BETWEEN HUMAN, ELF, ORC, OR DWARF."

"Oh! Human!!"

- HUMAN - -1 Integrity +1 Intelligence +3 Charisma Gaslighting, Manipulation Able to bear a weapon within town limits and under no condition shall that be infringed. Once a cycle receives 25 gold for doing absolutely nothing.

"WHAT DO YOU SPECIALIZE IN, ADVENTURER? NAME YOUR CLASS."

"Is this multiple choice, too?"

"ARE YOU A FIGHTER? TAKING DOWN YOUR FOES ON THE FRONT LINES! ARE YOU A MAGE? USING MAGIC AND THE ARTS TO DESTROY YOUR FOES AS WELL AS HEAL AND SUPPORT YOUR PARTY? ARE YOU A ROGUE? ONE WITH THE SHADOWS WITH CAT-LIKE REFLEXES AND ABOVE AVERAGE PERCEPTION?"

"Hmmm…. Not a whole lot of choices… But I guess this IS only on the Commodore… Soooo….. Hmmmmmm….. Well, only one makes sense here… I'm a ROGUE!!"

- ROGUE - +3 Perception +3 Sneak -1 Endurance Proficient with bows, crossbows, daggers (+2 ATK, ACC) Able to unlock locks Special Ability: Sneak Attack (Unlocked: LVL 10): Kill Shot

"BEST OF LUCK, ADVENTURER. YOUR JOURNEY WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH THE EXPERIENCE YOU NEED TO GROW STRONG AND DEFEAT BIG BAD!"

"Who??!!"

The void surrounding Calypso melts from top to bottom and reveals the inside of a large cave. Our hero looks around and is startled when a large bonfire ignites just a few feet away from him. He looks down at himself and notices he's not in the purple flannel pajamas he wore INTO the game world… Instead he's wearing some pretty fancy light armor based off of his Blue Tango uniform. Further ahead he notices a glowing aura swirling around on the ground. His normal intuition would steer him clear of whatever nonsense that was, but here? Why not? He approaches the aura and as he reaches out with his hand and makes contact a chorus of voices rings in his head….

TREASURE AHEAD…..

Tango pulls his arm back like he got shocked by it, but totally didn't. The voices gently whispered to him this tid-bit of information. He reached out and touched the aura once more and…

TREASURE AHEAD…..

"Interesting."

The chorus of voices repeats itself in the same tone, same whisper. He looks ahead to see a large, wooden chest sitting closed against the wall by a staircase carved into the rock leading up towards possible the exit.

"Treasure, it is."

TREASURE AHEAD…..

Tango accidentally bumps into the aura on his way by…

"Yeah, yeah. I hear ya."

When he reaches the chest, he cracks his knuckles and grabs the lid. He lifts with all his might, but only lifts it a tiny bit before its weight slams back down almost catching his fingers. Determined, Calypso tries once again to lift it and this time puts some glutes into it. He pulls and pulls until he's able to get it high enough and shove it open. He peeps inside and sees the same dark void that he just came from.

"What the…?"

From the void, a thick, salmon-colored tentacle whips out and wraps itself around his neck, choking him! He tries pulling away, but its grip is too much and its strength overpowers him! The tentacle lifts Tango off his feet into the air and whips him around. The trim around the lid and opening of the chest pull away revealing rows of hundreds of tiny razor sharp teeth.

"WAIT! *GAG* NOOOO!!!! *GAK*"

The tentacle whips Tango into itself "mouth" and starts gnawing away at his torso!

"AHHHHHH!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! IT HURTS!!!! IT HURTS!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"





Tango wakes up next to the campfire he appeared next to before within the cave. He opens his eyes and jumps to his feet and checks himself over.

"Phew… Must've been a nightmare."

"That…… was no…… nightmare."

"Hello? Who's there?!"

Appearing from out of the shadows, wrapped and hidden under an old cloak, stands a small, frail figure near the chest that just ended him a few moments ago. Tango, a bit more cautious now, slowly walks over to them.

"Yo?!"

"A lone, single warrior… *SIGH* This is our savior? You?"

"Save you? Savior?! Dude, I don't even know what's going on here. Where's Game Girl? Do you know where Game Girl is? Heck, where am I?!"

"How is that even possible when you don't even have a proper weapon?"

Tango searches his person and realizes the old man is right… He's certainly under equipped for whatever "journey" is ahead of him. He notices a small dagger holstered and strapped to the side of his boot. He pulls it out and holds it up for the cloaked figure to see.

ATK +1 +2 Class Skill

"You won't slay much with that puny dagger... Hehehe.."

"You have any suggestions? I mean, I don't see anything else laying around."

"Inside the chest you'll find what you need to start your journey. The first time is on the house. However, next time… It'll cost ya. Hehehe…"

"The chest?! No! No way, dude! That thing… That thing is a monster!"

The cloaked figure takes a step back into the shadows and disappears.

"This place…. is ffffffreaky."

Tango walks up to the aura that was floating around the ground from before and touches it.

TREASURE AHEAD…..

The same chorus of voices return to him and echo through his brain.

"Yeah, right…"

Tango walks past the chest and heads up the stairs to the exit. When he leaves the cave, he sees in the distance, past forests and rolling plains, a mountain sitting by itself across the horizon. An ominous black cloud swarms above it, never leaving it's tiny, swirling circle at the peak.

"Well, I'm guessing that's Mount Final Boss. That's where GG said to go. It's so dang far though… How am I supposed to get there in time to help her and get back for War Games? I wonder if those other guys got the same package and are in the same boat as I am."

Tango talks to himself as he starts on the only path down the mountain. Up ahead, he sees an intersection and a post with several signs pointing in different directions.

"I've had a couple of blown chances lately, but not two Warfares ago when I took down Dolly and Bobby. Now, I know how things look 'under the microscope' and we all know how Dolly has to find any kind of technicality to save that little bit of reputation she's held onto from back in the twenty-teens. I said it before and I'll say it again. Always the brides-maid. Never the bride. Dolly will never get the big one because when it comes down to getting real she's flattened under the pressure of it all. If she was in a relay race she'd slow down before handing off the baton. If she was drowning in three feet of water she'd choose to drown rather than put her feet down. If there's anyone I'm concerned with in War Games, especially in this first match, it's definitely not Dolly Waters. She's under our thumb. If anyone has the upper-hand on me going into this thing it would have to be Peter Vaughn, obviously. We duked it out last Warfare and needless to say things didn't go my way… But that's the thing about it, too. Unlike some of the shmoes around here, I'm able to learn from my mistakes. I'm able to look back and see where things went wrong and correct it! Make it better! Come back harder! YEAH! And, ya know, looking back… Maybe I jumped the gun a little bit in thinking that Peter and I could ride off into the sunset together someday. Maybe I saw a chemistry that just wasn't there. Maybe Peter is just for Peter and really sucks in things outside the one-on-ones. I suppose that's not necessarily a flaw that you can really get hung up on, but in this situation… sure! If things go sour at War Games can we expect the inVaughncible one to show some VAUGHNerabilities? I'm not one to beg for a second chance or anything, but let's just say I'll be happy to get another chance to show Peter Vaughn what could happen when you mistake skill with luck.”

Calypso trips of a rock on the path, but catches his balance before falling.

“And speaking of vulnerable… Duke came back. L-O-L. Of all times to do so, too. Thad went from the top guy in the XWF to steering HIS War Games team last year into a mountain and then spending several months ruining his own legacy before gracefully swan-diving out of existence around here. Not with a bang, but with a whimper. All of that hard work to put himself over only to end up burying himself in the end. What a show to watch. And what’s this all about? A show of redemption? A favor for someone special? Maybe he’s jealous like little boys get when someone else is playing with their favorite toy? Heck, knowing Duke he might just be bored. Like angst teenage boys get when the grass isn’t as green as they thought on the other side. Is he back to tarnish the what little legacy he had left? I don't get it. At least Savanah Knightley didn't voluntarily walk out into the open firing squad. Duke brought his own smokes and wants to watch."

"War Master 2.0... L-O-L... I suppose it would be silly to not recognize Duke as an upgrade, but it's not going to matter. When I said I believe I have the strongest team, I wasn't fluffin' myself up. I truly believe that across the board, the rest of the teams stand no chance.... Not a little chance.... NO CHANCE in leaving the winners of War Games. Not Jenny's Meat Clowns. Not Ned's Notorious Alliance. Not LSM's View Desecration Advised. Not Oswald's Sudden Death. And, most definitely, not the War Masters. I---"


Tango stops talking when he notices a loud buzzing noise getting louder and closer to him. He turns and just as it swoops down at him he rolls out of the way! It's a giant insect about the size of a big dog, with a 2-foot syringe-like stinger for a mouth. Tango reaches down and equips his dagger!

"Okay! Here goes!"

Tango lunges forwards with the blade and slices the creature!

3 DAMAGE!

A red three floats out from the bug after the strike and it swings around knocking Tango to his back! It quickly lands on him pinning him to the ground! Tango struggles, but cannot break free from under the monster! It wastes no time and buries the stinger into the side of his neck and starts consuming Tango's blood.

25 DAMAGE!

25 DAMAGE!

25 DAMAGE!

He gurgles and chokes and loses his sight from the poison that was exchanged in the process. Within a couple of more seconds he's dead.





Tango wakes up and opens his eyes to see he's back in the cave from which he started in. The bonfire blazes like it did before beside him... He shudders and rises back to his feet.