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Atara Raven · (07-21-2021)

I feel it really should be said that the booking for this match missed a golden opportunity. We've a sailor for a referee, a woman from one of the greatest seafaring nations the world has ever produced, and a guy literally with the same name as a Disney Character from a movie centered around the golden age of piracy. Are we touring the world like intrepid sailors in Epcot?

No.

Are we cruising through the Pirate of the Caribean ride learning about the pirates life?

No.

We are spinning around the Astro Orbiter like this is some trip into the grid and we're playing disc wars or whatever. Tron is Disney I know, but this is the lamest Disney trip ever and I'm only here for the effin fast passes and to see how in character these Princess actors stay when I try and take they man.

You hear me Mini! RATchet ass Bitch! I seen you at the afterparty!

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Yeah! The whole Goof Troop let us know you like a little Donald Duck corkscrew action and Daisy is pissed! So while she's bouncing your face off the pavement during the parade, Atty is getting her commercial Disney moment and slapping these cheeks.

OPA!

Anyway, the Astro Orbiter. Seriously. You know who likes to Astro glide and get yeeted into space? Betsy. This has Capt. Granger written all over it but...you know what. Whatever. I'll be the Olive Oyl to this Popeye and we'll eat our spinach while slapping anorexic Brutus back to curtain jerking with the Geri's and whatever sideshow act B.O.B hired to put themselves over this week....

Was that Shade? Yes it was. Kind of like the kind I had thrown over me when you shrugged after letting me get beat not once!

Effin Twice! I hand wrapped the Universal title, the package was ready to be delivered back to B.O.B like I hand wrapped the Internet Belt for Fury to give her B.O. bullshit relevance and you wait until the end to come out and flex!

I gotcha boo's. I read between the lines and message recieved. Internet Title. Gone. Shooting Star. Gone. Draft Day. Gone. B.O.B is an all boys club and Fury gets the pass because she had a dick for spell.

Fuck B.O.B

Fuck this company. Fuck having to play by piss baby boy blue rules. I started alone and after War Games I'll finish alone.

But enough of the negativity, this is suppose to be the happiest place on Earth...

Pee Ess...I called Peta about those Orcas.

Ο, τι είναι να γίνει, θα γίνει.
Αν βρείτε τον Μηχανικό, τηλεφωνήστε μου. Η Όσιρα λέει γεια.

For real this time...Magic Kingdom.

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Whaaaat's on the menu? It could be ceviche, it's stinky—ooh, it's Calypsoooo...yeah I know. That's Lion King 1 1/2 and yes, I know, I just ranted about Pirates but I like that song and when the beat hits...

I could have went with Hoist the Colours but its depressing as shit and I've been trying to stay positive after that mess last week. You all prolly thought I was gonna go Hercules, but.....................

............................................I'll leave the butchering of myths and cultures to the professionals. I've got to be honest with you Calypso. My tank is, as everyone saw, running a low and I've got Wargames coming. I don't have a lot to offer. I mean, I hear you use to be great, I watched a few things but it's just not hitting anything for me. I mean, I can give you the usual stuff. My Minimal. Alpha bitch...blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah times another infinity blah blah blah. Innuendo. More blah...

Just not feeling it and I'm not trying to be dismissive, it's not you honest. This is a vacation and I'd rather take this bump or win or whatever and salvage my reputation at War Games. I have better luck on Pay Per Views. You know what I mean, right.

Right?

Let's just have some fun and look forward to getting to shit on regardless of the result. For real, I hear the Toy Story people fall when you say the kids name. Kind of want to steal Bo Peeps stick thing and go yank Ariel off her rock so...

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