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X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF Live! » 24/7 Interactions
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Job Opening - Personal Assistant
Author Message
Lacklan Offline
World's best at making murderhobos cry



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#1
03-02-2021, 09:43 AM

About the Job

Duties:
* Maintains calendar by setting, monitoring, and confirming appointments; reminding employer of schedules; preparing visitors; developing itineraries; regular scheduling of animal feed (spider, horse, feral cats)

* Protects employer's time by screening, researching, and managing correspondence, messages, telephone calls, and visitors; preventing interruptions from stupid questions from stupid people; resolving issues before they need to be handled physically.

* Able to work flexible hours, travel when needed, be available all evenings and weekends, able to not be a backseat driver, quickly learn presented shorthand for communications, computer/smartphone literacy

* Maintains employer's privacy by keeping information confidential, not allowing random uggos and stalkers to get too close, and keeping dumb sluts the hell away from the Mrs.

Skills/Qualifications:
Scheduling, Phone Skills, Slideshow Presentations, Verbal Communication, Written Communication, Confidentiality, Ability to put on a beatdown when needed


Special note: The prior two people to hold this positions were amazeballs in their own way, and while the shoes to fill are literally quite tiny, they are metaphorically massive.
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[-] The following 2 users Like Lacklan's post:
Corey Smith (03-02-2021), Dolly Waters (03-02-2021)
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Offline
The Guy
*********
Administrators



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#2
03-02-2021, 09:56 AM

What happened to Ashley? Did she get trafficked? She got trafficked didn't she!? I TOLD her!

[Image: dR5ZguS.png]
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Charlie Nickles Offline
The Nickleman



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#3
03-02-2021, 10:00 AM

Demos walks into Lacklan's office with a warm smile on his face and a distinctly beefy smell to him. He had heard that Sarah Lacklan was looking for a new Greggo, so he came equipped with his resume. His two championship belts were slung around his waist, his heavymetalweight belt partially covering up his television championship. He slides his resume onto Sarah's desk as he nods his head at her. His greasy mane slips partially over his shoulders as he leans forward, flinging a small amount of greasy slime onto the paper print out.

'Demos
dolfinkillah88@gmail.com

Work Experience:

XWF 2020-present
Job Titles: Longest Reigning TV Champion, Eternal Heavymetalweight Champion
Duties: Win championships, beat Thunder Knuckles, provide generally acceptable promotional materials

Sunnyvale Trailer Park 2000-2020
Job Title: Assistant to the Assistant Supervisor
Duties: Help Lahey and Randy manage the day to day duties of the trailer park.

Major Accomplishments:
-Ended Sarah Lacklan's in-ring career in a former life
-Undefeated on Anarchy programming'

He stands in front of Lacklan's desk patiently as he waits for his job interview.

"Controversial"
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ALIAS Offline
Space Jesus



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#4
03-02-2021, 11:47 AM

Like any good prospective employee, Alias makes a phone call to find out more information.

Hi Ms. Lacklan, I'm just calling to ask a couple of questions about the job vacancy.

1) Does the uniform involve fabulously frilly sleeves? If so, would I have to source my own or do you have a supplier?
2) What is the employer's stance on pummelling Tula Keali'i into oblivion?
3) ...What's a slideshow?

Thank you for your time."


CLICK

Do you have a light?

[Image: 7qdASxF.jpg]
(Banner courtesy of Atara Themis)
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Corey Smith Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#5
03-02-2021, 05:31 PM

I'm sure this will yield a crop of capable, highly qualified, candidates.

[Image: CoreySig6A.png?width=270&height=406]
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ALIAS (03-02-2021), Charlie Nickles (03-02-2021), Jim "the Jim" Jimson (03-02-2021), Marf (03-02-2021)
Lacklan Offline
World's best at making murderhobos cry



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#6
03-03-2021, 09:45 AM

(03-02-2021, 09:56 AM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: What happened to Ashley? Did she get trafficked? She got trafficked didn't she!? I TOLD her!

Oh, for the love of-

@Roxy Cotton !!!!! Please make sure that Monsieur Dum Dum makes it to Ash's graduation party, k? I would LOATHE for you guys to miss it because of HIS inability to keep track of things 😒😒😒

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Lacklan Offline
World's best at making murderhobos cry



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#7
03-03-2021, 09:55 AM

(03-02-2021, 10:00 AM)Demos Said: Demos walks into Lacklan's office with a warm smile on his face and a distinctly beefy smell to him. He had heard that Sarah Lacklan was looking for a new Greggo, so he came equipped with his resume. His two championship belts were slung around his waist, his heavymetalweight belt partially covering up his television championship. He slides his resume onto Sarah's desk as he nods his head at her. His greasy mane slips partially over his shoulders as he leans forward, flinging a small amount of greasy slime onto the paper print out.

'Demos
dolfinkillah88@gmail.com

Work Experience:

XWF 2020-present
Job Titles: Longest Reigning TV Champion, Eternal Heavymetalweight Champion
Duties: Win championships, beat Thunder Knuckles, provide generally acceptable promotional materials

Sunnyvale Trailer Park 2000-2020
Job Title: Assistant to the Assistant Supervisor
Duties: Help Lahey and Randy manage the day to day duties of the trailer park.

Major Accomplishments:
-Ended Sarah Lacklan's in-ring career in a former life
-Undefeated on Anarchy programming'

He stands in front of Lacklan's desk patiently as he waits for his job interview.


Ashley Allen scrunches her nose at the smell of the man plopped before her. By no means the most foul odor she has come across...she was employed by that disgusting lesbian Kenzi, after all...but it was certainly pungent. As she glances down at the resume atop the desk, she sighs inwardly at letting her friend convince her that she should handle the interviews for her replacement herself. It was important to make sure that they didn't end up with another Dolly...she still hated that dumb bitch ever-so-much, regardless of what drug warren she was presently being passed around in...and that meant sacrifices such as this. Thankfully, though, this was an easy interview to handle.

"While I appreciate the time you took out of your day to come in, Mister...um...Demos, is it? I am sorry to say that we are looking for someone who meets all of our expectations. But thank you for coming and may you walk along the Path of Light!"

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Roxy Cotton Offline
Head of XWF Shooting Star Division
*********
Administrators


WWW

XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)


#8
03-03-2021, 09:59 AM

He isn't paying attention to anything other than the old Liesure Suit Larry floppy disks he found in a closet earlier today. Oh and repeatedly telling me how great it is that Ang is now the "Grander Slam" Champion of UGWC. It's been a really great few days here at the Psalisades.

[Image: pdAMRjn.png]
Hey there daddy...

Roxy's Backstage Pass?
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Taco Offline
Director of Craft Services. Also a pin.



XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)


#9
03-03-2021, 10:01 AM

Onk.

  1. Onk
  2. Onk
  3. Onk
  4. Onk
  5. Onk
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Corey Smith Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#10
03-03-2021, 10:11 AM

(03-03-2021, 10:01 AM)Taco Said: Onk.

  1. Onk
  2. Onk
  3. Onk
  4. Onk
  5. Onk

Hire him now

[Image: CoreySig6A.png?width=270&height=406]
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Boris Offline
Blyat!



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#11
03-03-2021, 10:40 AM

Hire Boris

[Image: KGR16Cy.png]
Oppa! - 17 1/2
Blyat! - 14 1/2
Neither! - 0

Former Weight Of Metal Champion
WINNER - Race Across The Everglades in the Slav Cruiser 9000!
2020 XWF Games Tug Of War Gold Medalist
Both Won And Lost The Quarantine Battle Royal
Successfully Contracted Coronavirus
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Lacklan Offline
World's best at making murderhobos cry



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#12
03-03-2021, 12:15 PM

(03-02-2021, 11:47 AM)Alias Said: Like any good prospective employee, Alias makes a phone call to find out more information.

Hi Ms. Lacklan, I'm just calling to ask a couple of questions about the job vacancy.


After a long long long LONG LONG LONG time on hold, with the "music" playing be a compilation of various G-L promos so that you can learn a thing or two, and several redirects, THE Anarchy Commissioner (check out the new sig! Thanks Atara, lysm!) finally answers some questions.

(03-02-2021, 11:47 AM)Alias Said: 1) Does the uniform involve fabulously frilly sleeves? If so, would I have to source my own or do you have a supplier?

In general....yes! There are three options: Extra large for the girls, smaller but with extra lace for the boys, and a special non-binary option, new to the Firestarter clothing line. All of them are wonderfully fabulous, for certain. Uniforms will be provided by the G-Ls, of course.

(03-02-2021, 11:47 AM)Alias Said: 2) What is the employer's stance on pummelling Tula Keali'i into oblivion?

In general, I am PRO on the "should Tula be pummeled or not?" debate.

(03-02-2021, 11:47 AM)Alias Said: 3) ...What's a slideshow?

Only the BEST form of digital information dissemination! I'll make sure to send you a brochure to show you how to utilize a variety of software.

(03-02-2021, 11:47 AM)Alias Said: Thank you for your time."

You are so VERY welcome! Walk in the Light and keep your Eyes on Anarchy!

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ALIAS (03-03-2021), Atara Raven (03-05-2021), R.L. Edgar (03-03-2021)
Lacklan Offline
World's best at making murderhobos cry



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#13
03-03-2021, 12:16 PM

(03-03-2021, 10:01 AM)Taco Said: Onk.

  1. Onk
  2. Onk
  3. Onk
  4. Onk
  5. Onk

STFU TACO HATEUSOMUCH OMG

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Lacklan Offline
World's best at making murderhobos cry



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#14
03-03-2021, 12:18 PM

(03-03-2021, 10:40 AM)Boris Said: Hire Boris

Какие?

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