The camera fades in on Vincent Lane looking stately behind his expensive mahogany desk, shuffling some papers.
He clears his throat, adjusts the double Windsor of his flamboyant hot pink tie, and then addresses the XWF Galaxy.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have been forced to make a late change to the Heavymetalweight Championship match coming up on Savage Saturday Night.
Due to failing, just, SO many drug tests over the last few weeks, Jamaican Jimmy has been pulled from the event and suspended from in ring action for 30 days while he attends a wellness facility in Topanga, California.
Now, I know this shakes up the title match, but fear not! We have recently signed a hot free agent to fill that void... Tonya "Thumper" Gibbon will be taking Jimmy's spot!
You can't be sayin' me dat, mon! I been pissin' clean as a whistle e'er since I started chuggin EZ-Clean. Ain't no one caught me ridin' dirty, mon!
Dis ain't no more den racial profilin' and discrimination! This be racist, mon! Just because a black mon 'ad a chance to make de country of Jamaica proud, you want to step in an' oppress him!
Well I ain't standin' for it, mon! I ain't goin' to sit idly by while you be walkin' all over me human rights!
VINCENT LANE IS A RACIST!
The following 1 user Likes Jamaican Jimmy's post:1 user Likes Jamaican Jimmy's post The Monster of Htaed (09-28-2016)
Vincent Lane
Rock n' Rolling XWF Owner and Megastar
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Jimmy... jesus, how did you even get in here? Dude, you REEK of weed right now.
And holy shit, dude, you've got a joint in your mouth RIGHT FUCKING NOW! How are you going to stand there and call me racist when every competitor in XWF is subject to the same random drug testing as you? You failed FOUR TIMES, Jimmy. And you knew for three days prior to each test!
I'm not a racist, dude.
Officers, please escort Jimmy from my office.
Vincent says the last bit while holding down an intercom button on his desk. The room fills with off-duty police officers from Tulsa, Ferguson, and Charlotte.
Z is here to represent Mista Jimmy. He is high on only Loa dust. Him roots make de dust act as if it is marijuana. Loa Dust is perfectly legal by all standards and practices.
Now, in the Jamaican pothead's defense, everyone here does drugs. I believe Joy and I are the only Straight Edge people currently in this company. That's why I'm so much better than everyone here!
Plus, you are suspending a guy for a marijuana violation, while you have rapists and murderers running rampant all over this company. What is this the NFL?
The following 1 user Likes Hunter Payne's post:1 user Likes Hunter Payne's post Vincent Lane (09-28-2016)
Look dude I don't make the rules when it comes to USADA.
I've been known to ski down nose mountain from time to time too, but this is a publicly traded company! We have Japanese investors breathing down my neck at every stockholder meeting!
In modern America, smoking weed is literally the worst thing someone can do.
(09-28-2016, 07:36 PM)Hunter Payne Said:
Plus, you are suspending a guy for a marijuana violation, while you have rapists and murderers running rampant all over this company.
"I'm corporate. Management. That means if I don't do drugs and live a hard partying life with the investors they get pissed. They want the talent clean and the boys in back partying. You should come to a board meeting. They have dead hookers for us to do blow off of. And somehow Soldier shows up and manages to fuck the dead hooker. Every time. And this amuses them."
The following 2 users Like Frodo mother fucking Smackins's post:2 users Like Frodo mother fucking Smackins's post drezdin5788 (09-29-2016), The Monster of Htaed (10-01-2016)
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