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X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF OOC » Out Of Character (OOC) Board
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Finis Lineae Feedback
Author Message
Steve "KingSlayer" Davids Offline
Steve Davids


XWF FanBase:
Teens, some men, few kids
(booed by casual fans; hurts people; often angry)
 XWF Roster Page
Joined: Wed Mar 13 2013
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#2
05-01-2013, 01:36 AM

Loved it. The description is brilliant and your vocabulary is clearly broad which I like. For me the only thing is structure, the paragraphing of that first paragraph should normally be broken up at certain points. Other than that though keep developing your character as you are and things are looking good!
[Image: Gtfmgih.jpg]

3x Xtreme Champion
1x Briefcase Holder
1x Television Champion
1x Universal Champion
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Messages In This Thread
Finis Lineae Feedback - by horza13 - 05-01-2013, 01:23 AM
Finis Lineae Feedback - by Steve "KingSlayer" Davids - 05-01-2013, 01:36 AM



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