(10-13-2014, 06:01 PM)⤤⇝ℰⱱεℛℑȓųšƬ⇜⤣ Said: I think you're doing a good job from what I've seen today. Your debut post was very impressive and shows you are certainly very experienced. Some early advice I have is to be cautious of how much information is supplied about inner thoughts by the omnipotence of your narration. There are those who will target even that which is relayed through your narration as if it were your character saying it. Your best bet is to find that perfect formula for relaying what your character is going through without supplying too much info through voice-like narration. Relay the feelings and quirks through descriptions we can recognize and identify with rather than telling us what they are. If your character is in the rain, make us feel like we're getting rained on too. Describe the beads of water hitting flesh and the chill the coolness of the water brings as it runs down her face and lips and back of her neck. Don't tell us the rain is making her cold. If she's indifferent or even unsure of herself in a social situation, describe those physical tells more than having a narrative voice telling us she is confused or is making motions to distract from her inner feelings. Make us recognize her body language and make us speculate as to its deeper meaning. Make us wonder if they're signs of deceit or just her own uncertainty.

Another piece of advice is that when you reference competing with real life wrestlers or interacting with them, there are some here who will target you and call you a liar repeatedly for those claims. They'll ask for proof; footage if you will, and they may be very relentless on the issue. Just ask Maverick about that. lol I think he came in saying he was trained by a famous wrestler and got aggressively attacked about how it was a lie because he had no proof, and when it's a real life name no handler here "owns" the rights to, they also could write up a scene where they ask that real name about interacting with you and have them flat out call you a liar too, further damaging your own storyline and character. Some of the people here can be very brutal in how they'll attack you through targeting everything you supply them with.

As for me personally, when I was new here I was already very experienced with writing and roleplaying even beyond that of wrestling feds. At first I wasn't a big fan of how some of the people here will operate in the process of blurring OOC with IC lines but I got used to it over time and sometimes I'll even dabble in that area myself now. I've seen people target board signatures, user names and other aspects I would have assumed to be OOC but it seems as long as you paint it in an IC light, it's accepted. Once I got used to the idea of these boards literally existing in the IC world as the "XWF's official website," it made a little more sense to me.

This. Trust me, I was this young, brash rookie, coming into the XWF in the middle of September, my character all planned out, with not a care in the world. Some guy who named his character TJ Sky was issuing an open challenge, and I stepped up to the plate. I told him how I was trained by Storm, Regal, and Jericho for like, 6 years, and so I spent two more years from there in the indie scene. Then, there was another handler. This guy made X- Pac into a character. So, in what was his first post, he called me out as a liar. Then, this Kevin Nash guy- not Diesel- pretty much bandwagoned on X- Pac's claims. I think Kevin Nash was one of Paul Heyman's alternate characters, but I can't be certain. So anyway, I pretty much have my own group of stalkers who try to convince everyone that I'm a liar.

But yeah, I did like your RP. Considering others debut RPs I saw, yours is pretty sweet. Don't worry, your like a fine wine here- you get better with age and experience.