Okay, read this bitch full length and thought it was a pretty solid piece. However, in the story sections (and this is just a pet peeve of mine) you repeated the same word as the first in the sentence multiple times in a row, which kind of in my eyes can hurt story flow. Nothing too major but just a thing to play around with.

As for your trash talk, I thought it was again solid as shit. However, there were some grammar errors and an entire sentence that makes no sense in: Jealous of the fact; that people like me?

Mainly, I have to say take your time and proofread stuff and you'll be fine.