I looked down at his hands. Comfort, its what many longed for in times of pain or confusion, but was it really what I wanted? I wanted to bring pain to one man who I used to love and watch the pain of another.

You don't understand everything that has happened to me Damien. I don't even understand a lot of it.

I looked up into his eyes. He was kind and caring and after all that has happened, he was still a person worth having around. I was a monster, having him in my life, even as friend, could end badly for the both of us. I took his hands. Any type of love, would I be able to feel it...or even allowed to feel it...

I need to tell you something but not here. You need to know what exactly has happen with me over the past few months, even before coming to XWF.

I stood up with one of Damien's hands in mine.

If you truly want to help, if that is your intentions here Damien, will you follow? I will tell you now, I'm not a safe person to be around but will you trust me enough to follow? If I tell you everything there is something I have to show you first.

I looked down on Damien and the smile I had before was gone. The only thing I questioned now was will he follow?