If I ramble or have paragraph and sentence fragments, please forgive me.

I'm sure I'll get some kind words and that is nice, and I will appreciate them, but I'm writing this for me. Not for that.

In my nearly 30 years, expressing myself verbally, unless its anger, has been a challenge. I've chosen all these years to express my emotions through writing.

Through the year, myself, my brothers and sisters, and my cousins always called her 'Mom Mom.' It started when my older brother was young and living with my grandparents. He used to try and call her Mom and she'd always refuse. He added a second 'mom' to it and the name just stuck.

She was quite literally a matriarch of a family. She was a rock. Everyone went to her with problems... financial... personal... marriage issues... whatever the case was, she was always there.

Seven hours ago, that all ended.

The single most beautiful person I have ever had the opportunity to meet finally lost her fight. And fight, she did. For 20 years shes fought kidney failure, diabetes, heart failure... and won. Recently she developed complex breathing problems. Today, the fight was over. She is at peace. She spent a lot of her time in hospitals. I mean, we took it for granted that this tough as nails woman would always pull through. Always get to come home. She always have. Today though it sounded different.

Believe me people know when their time is up. She knew. I knew. I wanted it to not be true but at the same time, I didn't want her to suffer anymore.

I had this ritual and I kept it for more then 20 years. Anytime I left her home I'd tell her I love her and kiss her forehead. I did it tonight for the final time. I never knew how hard it would be to not hear "I love you too." It was hard. Brutally.

I have no idea what I'll do. She was the one person I could tell anything to and she wouldn't judge. Just listen, give her advice, show compassion, and just be there. I can't do that anymore.

Obviously my family is a wreck.

My grandfather, "Pap", just lost his wife of 54 years. An amazing woman who stuck by him even when he was an abusive alcoholic and she shouldn't have. Thankfully I never had to see that side of him since he quit drinking in '79. I worry about him the most. He's old school. The woman stayed at home while the man went out and worked. The last few years he waited on her day in and day out. Washed dishes and clothes. Vacuumed. Anything and everything. He did it for her. They fought like cats and dogs, but you don't stay together for 54 years and not love someone. He's an emotional wreck. Repeatedly saying "this isn't happening."

An amazing woman who showed nothing but unconditional love to not only us kids, but even our friends. Always welcoming. Warm, caring, tough when needed... as I said, the single most beautiful person I've ever met.

The old saying goes: you don't know what you got until it's gone. Trust me, you never truly know what it means until you lose someone this damn important to you.

Her own favorite saying was "I forgot more then you'll ever know." I always loved when she said it. I'll miss hearing it.

Christmas was her holiday. She enjoyed nothing more then getting to see her own 3 kids, her 9 grandchildren, and her 17 great-grandchildren. Especially at Christmas. She made it special just by her presence. Next Christmas will be tough.

A special woman that will be missed greatly by all that had the pleasure to know her.

She's at peace now.

I love you Mom Mom. Not a day will go by that I will not think of you and cherish each and every moment I was able to share with you. I'll miss you.



I wanted to thank all of you for allowing me a moment to express myself in the only way I know how to.


-Sean Brommer
(Sebastian Duke & Madness GM Paul Heyman)