A Literal Gorilla
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05-05-2024, 12:46 AM
The gorilla kicks out and stands up, cradling Pariah. The gorilla carried Pariah, like a newlywed, down the hall, and out of the building entirely. The gorilla crossed the street, and walked into a packed super church. The evangelical teachings and publicity take a pause, the cameras all focused, the people in awe as the gorilla carried Pariah to the stage. The preacher looked at both in awe.
"Folks, I see a divine act of God on high, showing us the true mysteries of his acts! Come, let us witness, as I, a minister, legally marry these two, a man and his little woman."
Pariah looks absolutely stunned as the lead pastor of this megachurch began a wedding service.
"Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?"
The gorilla nods.
"Ook ook."
"And do you, take this man, to be your lawful wedded husband?"
Before Pariah can answer, the gorilla cups its hand over his mouth and nods.
"Then by the power vested in me by God and the XWF, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now clap them cheeks."
The gorilla places Pariah on his feet, slinging the Xtreme Championship over his shoulder, and then grips Pariah's sad ass with both hands. Millions witness it, and are overjoyed by this blessed occasion.
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