The arena flashes white as spotlights from around the venue converge at the entrance room as "You Know My Name" begins playing bombastically. As the lyrics start, Ned Kaye stands at the point where the spotlights merge to thunderous applause. He lifts his fist up in the air, awaiting the crowd to do the same before rushing down to the ring, serenaded by blue hues that light up the ramp following his steps. The lights above the stadium darken in their blue color as Ned gets closer to the ring, little bits of ember adorning the X-Tron and ramp, orange breaking up the blue. He leaps over the ropes into the ring before looking down, breathing the moment in, and pointing out at the crowd, ready to fight just with their energy alone. Jumping a bit from the adrenaline, he makes his way to his corner as he prepares for the bell.
The former XWF Universal Champion as well as longest reigning tag team champion as part of Cataclysm "Chronic" Chris Page appears at the top of the stage as boos reign down upon him. Page laughs it off as he casually walks down the entry ramp and climbs into the ring. Never taking his eyes off of Ned Kaye.
NED KAYE
- vs -
CHRIS PAGE 6k rp word cap - Deathmatch
The crowd demons pop huge as Satan himself makes a special appearance on his throne. Pag and Ned walk out from their corners; both means jeans, t-shirts, and taped fists where they encounter each other in the center of the ring. Chris Page jaws with Ned who responds with some words of his own that causes Page to slap Ned right across the face! Ned immediately takes Page down with a double leg and transitions into a mount before he starts hammering down with right hands! Ned hammers away with piston like fists before popping off Page and immediately stomps away at the face and upper body of CCP.before picking him up off the mat. Ned hammers Page with a forearm before being cut off with a thumb to the eye.
HHL: What a shocker. Ned Kaye starts out hot and Chris Page resorts to underhanded tactics.
Pip: It’s a Deathmatch Heather. There are no underhanded tactics. Everything is on the table.
Page takes over by hurling Ned into a neutral corner, Ned crashes into the buckles and walks out from the corner and into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Page presses the cover.
1!!
TW..
Ned kicks out before the two count. Page immediately starts choking away at Ned which the referee is powerless to stop. You’d think the demons would boo this- they cheer it! Page releases his choke and steps back up to his feet where he throws up his arms to a pop from the demons in attendance. Page turns his attention back toward Ned who is getting to one knee, Page explodes toward Ned with a running Mafia Kick!
Ned throws his head out of the way!
Page spins around eating a boot to the midsection from Kaye that doubles Page over! Ned bounces off the ropes and delivers Bicycle Kick across the base of the neck of Page, sending CCP down to the mat! Ned drops down making a cover.
1!!
2!!
T…
Page pops a shoulder off the mat.
HHL: Page waited until the last second on that one. Don’t think he needed to but he wanted to play head games with Ned there.
Pip: Page is a master manipulator that’s for damn sure. There are few in the business that are better at it.
Ned gets back to his feet looking to press the offense only to have CCP roll out to the floor. Chris thinks he’s safe, nah… Ned lands a baseball slide dropkick to the back of Page, sending him crashing into the barrier holding back the demons. Ned slides out to the floor and spins Page around where he decks him with a right hand! Ned looks for a scoop slam, Page slips down the back of Kaye while shoving him forward causing Kaye to bounce face first off the ring post and crumble down to the floor. Page comes around the ring snatching Ned by both legs where he catapults Ned face first off the ring post as second time! Camera’s catch Ned bleeding from his forehead as Page is like a shark that smells blood in the water, takes a mount on Ned and hammers down into the open wound on Ned’s forehead. CCP lands six shots before he starts to bite at the open wound!
CCP steps up to his feet and poses for the demons garnering another pop. Chris looks up at Satan’s suite and gives him a thumbs up.
Page turns his attention back toward Ned where he picks him up off the floor and drives him headfirst into the announcers table. Page drives Ned into the table a second time, and a third time before spinning Ned around and latching onto a front waist lock where he snaps off an overhead release belly to belly suplex on the floor with Ned’s body splatting on the mats. Chris tosses the ring apron back and pulls out a Ladder. Page slides the Ladder into the ring and sets it up underneath one of the many briefcases that hang overhead. Page starts climbing the Ladder and reaches the top where he reaches up and grabs a briefcase.
HHL: Looks like Page is trying to put an end to this right now.
Pip: Is he Heather? Are you sure?
Cameras pick up Page as he spouts out.
CHRIS PAGE: Wait a minute… I’m not Corey, I actually win AND lose between the ropes without excuses.
A bloody Ned Kaye pulls himself up on the ring apron unknown to Page. Ned manages to re-enter the ring and grab the ladder with both hands and shakes it slightly which catches Page attention as he looks down but it’s too late as Ned tips the Ladder over sending Page crotch first across the top rope! Ned wastes no time in using the middle turnbuckle as a step up to hit the Enziguri causing Page to tumble down to the apron. Page reaches up for the top rope and uses it to pull himself up to his feet where Ned lands a springboard missile dropkick sending Page down to the floor! Ned steps out to the ring apron and measures Page who uses the apron and bottom rope to assist himself up to his feet where Kaye follows up with a running Penalty Kick that floors Page once again! Kaye leaps off the apron with a vicious double stomp down into the chest of CCP!
HHL: Page is most definitely going to feel that one.
The demons boo Ned but he couldn’t care less as he tosses the ring apron back and pulls out a glass top table!
HHL: I have to admit Pip, I am liking this more focused and aggressive Ned Kaye. He’s not taking Page lightly.
Pip: Why would he? Page has beaten him like a rented mule in their previous encounters.
Ned sets up the glass top table on the floor before turning his attention back toward Page who pulled himself back up to his feet. Ned looks for a superkick! Page catches the boot of Ned and kicks him in the nuts to a massive pop from the demons in attendance. Kaye drops to both knees and it allows Page to land a Mafia Kick to the bloody forehead of Kaye, sending Ned falling backward to the floor. Page turns his attention to the ring steps and separates the top portion. Ned starts pulling himself up to a vertical base and is met with the steel steps being driven into his forehead!
Ned falls back to the floor. Page slides the top portion of the stairs into the ring before snatching up a bloody Ned Kaye the hair,
Page hurls Ned back into the ring under the bottom ropes. Page slides into the ring and gets back to his feet. Chris takes the Ladder that’s leaned on the top rope. Chris folds up the Ladder and waits for Ned who uses the ropes to get himself up to his feet. Page runs toward Ned ramming the head of the Ladder into the bloody skull of Kaye, sending Ned dropping to the mat. Page takes the Ladder and sets it up against a set of buckles.
HHL: Page looks pissed off and it looks like he’s going for maximum damage here!
Pip: Once again Heather, it is a Deathmatch afterall.
Page snatches both legs of an already bloody Kaye as he catapults him toward the Ladder but Kaye lands on the Ladder like a Spider Monkey and leaps backward turning in midair catching Page with a Code Breaker! Ned crawls toward Page and makes the cover.
1!!
2!!
THR…
Page pops a shoulder up to a pop from the demons.
HHL: Ned was close on that one. You can see it in his eyes, he thought he had it wrapped up.
Ned is the first to his feet followed by Page. Ned lands a hard right hand, a stiff right kick to the quad of Page before finishing with a spinning backfist that Page counters with a back waist lock before delivering a German Suplex! Page rolls through picking himself and Ned up off the mat where a second German Suplex is delivered, and again Page rolls through picking himself and Kaye up off the mat where a third and final release German Suplex is delivered and folds Ned up like an accordion. Page rolls out to the floor under the bottom rope and tosses the apron of the ring back to pull out four light tubes that have been taped together at the ends to make a makeshift light tube baseball bat.
HHL: Not sure I’ve ever seen that one before Pip. A baseball bat made out of light tubes.
Pip: It is 2023 after all. Crazy kids are inventing all kinds of stuff on the internet these days.
HHL: What does that have to do with anything Pip?
Pip: I don’t know. Just saying.
Page slides back into the ring with the light tube baseball bat in hand and gets himself back to his feet. CCP starts to measure Ned who is willing himself up out of a pool of his own blood. Page sizes Ned up and swings for the fences at Ned’s head! Ned ducks the baseball like swing from Page! Page spins all the way around where Ned catches Page with the Superkick knocking Page back into the ropes and causes CCP to drop the light tubes. Ned quickly reaches down, picking them up and tattoo’s Chris Page in the dome shattering all the light bulbs sending a mist in the air and shards of glass sailing everywhere.
Page has been laid wide open by Kaye!
Ned drops to his knees gathering himself as he wipes blood away from his forehead. Ned gets back to his feet where he picks Page up off the mat and runs him toward the corner housing the Ladder and sends Page bouncing face and body first off the ladder and into a basement dropkick to the right knee knocking Page’s wheels out from under him where Kaye quickly lands a V-Trigger! Kaye makes a cover hooking the inside leg of Page.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Page pops a shoulder off the mat.
HHL: Son of a Bitch! I thought that was it.
Pip: So did Ned. You can see it in his eyes. He looks defeated now.
Ned takes a mount position on Page and starts hammering down with right hands to the open wound causing more blood to flow. The Demons boos Ned as he bites Page in the forehead paying him back for actions earlier on in the contest. Ned steps back up to his feet where he picks Page up and takes him back into a neutral corner. Kaye starts laying a series of shoulder blocks to the midsection before hoisting Page up to a seated position on the top rope. Kaye scales up to the middle ropes where he locks in a front face lock. Kaye looks to deliver a Superplex only to have Page latch onto the top rope. Kaye attempts a second super plex and again Page latches onto the top rope. CCP lays several right hands to the ribcage of Kaye before countering the front face lock with a headbutt across the bridge of the nose. CCP counters with a front face suplex off the middle rope sending Ned crashing down to the mat below.
Page works his way up to a standing position while in the ring Ned is getting back to his feet.
Chris Page sets sail leaping off the top rope with a Code Breaker of his own! Both men are down, both men are bleeding like stuffed pigs but the fight rages on as Chris Page slowly pushes himself up to one knee before stepping up to his feet. Chris runs toward the ropes where he delivers a springboard moonsault off the middle rope to perfection! Page makes the cover by hooking the inside leg with a side press.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Ned escapes with a kick out as Page gets to both knees, blood soaking into his tank top while holding out three fingers.
HHL: Ned Kaye is not done yet. He won’t go down without a fight.
Pip: Maybe not but he will go down!
Page steps back up to his feet where he turns his attention toward the corner and the Ladder. Page staggers toward the corner and grabs the Ladder and lays it flat on the mat. Chris turns his attention toward Ned and picks him up off the mat. Page locks a front face lock and snaps off a suplex onto the Ladder with the sickening thud. Chris Page works his way to his feet where he calls for the Page Plant. Page picks Ned up off the ladder and sets him up for the Angel’s Wings but before he can pull off the finishing move it’s Ned with a desperation counter with a back body drop. Page rolls out to the ring apron where he uses the ropes to pull himself up to his feet. Ned charges and drives a shoulder block into the midsection of Page. Ned leaps over the top rope with a Sunset Powerbomb taking Page off the apron and driving him through the glass top table!
We get a shot of Satan applauding causing the demons to roar loudly before breaking out into a “HOLY SHIT” chant directed toward ringside.
Ned is the first to stir as he crawls away from the wreckage at ringside Ned starts working his way back to his feet as we see Page rolling over out of the broken glass. Ned staggers toward Page picking him up by the hair before rolling him into the ring. Ned climbs up on the apron and sizes Page up who is negotiating his way to a vertical base. Ned springboards off the top rope landing a Hurrincanranna!
HHL: Not sure I can remember Ned pulling that one out of his bag of tricks before.
Ned executes a front press with a hook of the leg.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Page pops a shoulder off the mat.
HHL: Once again Page gets the shoulder up at the last second.
Pip: Page refuses to lose. He knows he can beat Ned, he’s already done it and he’s just biding his time until he’s ready to close this out.
Ned gets to both knees, his face a crimson mask as he starts hammering away with right hands to the open wound on Page’s forehead! Kaye gets back to his feet where he snatches Page up by the hair and sends him sailing over the top rope and out to the floor. Ned staggers toward the ropes and steps through them to the ring apron. Kaye sizes Page up as he starts getting to his feet. Ned backs up into a corner before rushing down the apron looking for a running cannonball off the ring apron that Page casually walks away from that sends Ned landing hard on the padding surrounding the ring. Page tosses the ring apron back and reaches underneath where he pulls out a medium-sized toolbox. Ned is working his way back to his feet and when he stands he’s met by Page who drives the toolbox into the skull of Ned sending Kaye sailing backward into the security railings as the box opens and various tools fall to the floor. Page drives the metal toolbox into Ned’s forehead a second time before reaching down and picking up a pair of needle nose pliers.
HHL: Oh God! What is Page going to do with those pliers?
Pip: I don’t know Heather but I’m here for it.
Page snatches Ned by the earlobe with the needle nose pliers and pulls him away from the barrier. Page pulls Ned into a front waist lock where an overhead Release Belly to Belly suplex is delivered for a second time. Chris crawls back toward the ring apron where he reaches underneath the ring and pulls out a large piece of plywood made with a bed of barbed wire. Ned starts to work his way to one knee before standing up to a vertical base as we see Page hurl the bed of barbed wire into Ned’s face and body but Kaye doesn’t go down… that is until Page spears the backside of the plywood further driving the barbed wire into the body of Ned as both men are down. Page is the first back to his feet where he begins stomping on the backside of the plywood causing the barbed wire to further dig into Ned’s body underneath. Page reaches down and starts peeling back the plywood causing the shards of barbed wire to tear various parts of his flesh!
Ned is covered in blood as is Chris Page as this battle continues.
Page stomps on Ned’s bloody forehead. Page reaches down, picking Ned up off the floor before hurling him back into the ring. Chris climbs up on the apron and steps through the ropes where his eyes go to the top portion of the steel steps. Chris snatches Ned up by the hair and takes him toward the steps. Page brings Ned up on the top portion of the stairs where he sets up Kaye and spikes him skull first into the steel steps with a leaping Piledriver!
HHL: Holy Shit! If Ned might literally be unconscious at this point!
Page makes a cover on the steel steps.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Ned escapes with a kick out to the shock of Page.
HHL: How the FUCK!?!
Pip: What the fuck is going on here?
Chris holds our three fingers but is shown two and inches by the referee which garners a middle finger from Page. Page turns his attention back toward Kaye where he picks him up off the steps. Page rocks Kaye with a stiff European Uppercut that sends Kaye back into the ropes. Page rushes in but it’s Ned who throws up his right boot landing on the jaw of Page that sends Chris backward toward the center of the ring. Kaye explodes off the ropes and Page catches him with a Spin Buster Slam onto the top portion of the steel steps!
Page drags Ned off the steps and down to the mat where he drops down into a cover hooking the near leg.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Ned shoots a shoulder up off the mat!
Pip: Just lose already Ned wtf!
HHL: Calm down Pip before you have a heart attack.
A bloody Page gets to both knees and he starts to question what must he do in order to put Ned Kaye away on this night. Chris steps back up to his feet where he calls for the Judas Effect. The demons pops huge as we see Page step back into a neutral corner. Ned slowly rolls over pushing himself up off the mat and to one knee. Ned steps up to his feet and it’s Page who comes out from the corner with a Judas Effect attempt! Kaye ducks out of the way and rushes toward the ropes where he does a front handspring into the ropes, bounces backward and when Page spins around Kaye catches him with a ¾ Neckbreaker!
Ned can’t capitalize immediately. Seconds pass before Ned rolls Page over making a cover.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Page barely escapes with a kick out to a massive gasp from the crowd.
HHL: I was sure that was it Pip.
Ned starts gouging at the open wounds on Page’s forehead from his knees before stepping up to his feet. Ned staggers toward the steps and picks them up off the mat. Page starts to stir as he rolls over and pushes himself up out of a pool of blood. Chris reaches one knee before Kaye charges and drives the steel steps into the face of Chris Page. The momentum sends Page spilling back out to the floor! Kaye drops the steel steps over the top rope sending them down to the floor with a thud. Ned staggers toward the turnbuckles and starts climbing up to the top ropes. Out on the floor Page is using the guardrail to pull himself to his feet.
Ned leaps off the top rope with a flying cross-body block down on top of Page!
Kaye starts to stir as he uses the barrier to pull himself up and back to his feet. Ned staggers toward the ring and drops to one knee where he pulls back the apron and reaches under the ring where he retrieves another set of four light tubes that have been taped together. Page gets to all fours as the blood pours from his head like a faucet. Kaye shatters the light tubes across the back of Page to another massive pop from the crowd. Ned hangs on to the ends of the taped end that didn’t shatter and starts gouging it into Page’s forehead!
HHL: Ned Kaye is not messing around. I’ve never seen him like this before.
Pip: He’s like a rabid dog that needs to be put down.
Blood pools down the face and body of Chris Page. Ned picks Page up off the floor and brings him around the corner of the ring where he lands a series of quick forearm shots to the jaw rocking Page backward several feet before connecting with a Superkick! Page drops to one knee and eats a second V-Trigger!
Kaye picks Page up off the floor and hurls him back into the ring. Ned slides into the ring making a cover.
1!!
2!!
THRE..
Page escapes with a kickout! Ned and Page have bleed buckets of blood as this war continues. Ned slowly gets to his feet where he picks Page up off the mat. Ned drives Page back into a set of buckles and starts laying in shoulder blocks to the midsection. Ned hoists Page up to the top turnbuckle in a seated position. Ned climbs up on the middle rope where he hammers Page with a forearm smash and then Ned steps up to the top ropes where he looks to snap off a headscissors take over! Page counters with a sit-out Powerbomb!
HHL: Fantastic counter by Page there.
Both Page and Kaye are laid out in the center of the ring with the referee powerless to do anything. Seconds seem like hours before Page starts to stir and roll toward the ropes. Chris reaches up and starts pulling himself back up to a vertical base. Page leans back against the ropes. Ned slowly starts to stir, and as Ned reaches one knee. Page comes off the ropes and catches Kaye with the High Times Flip Piledriver!
Page rolls Ned over making the cover!
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Kaye kicks out! Page can’t believe it!
HHL: Thank Christ!
Page steps back up to his feet where he picks Ned up off the mat and sets him up for the Page Plant! Ned counters with an Inside Cradle.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Page escapes with a kick out and beats Ned back to his feet where Kaye walks into a Judas Effect by Page! Ned crumbles to the mat with Chris Page falling down on top of him.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Ned barely pops a shoulder up off the mat to a massive gasp from the demons in attendance.
HHL: This match is incredible!!!! Page and Ned are going to bring the roof down and this is the opening match of the night.
Page works his way back to his feet where he backs the referee up in a corner and demands a faster count. Ned starts to stir, Page turns around and makes his way over and picks Kaye up off the mat. Page laces Ned across the chest with a knife-edge chop, followed by a second, and a third before backing Kaye up into the ropes and shooting him across the ring, Ned bounces off the near side ducking under a Page lariat, Page spins around and walks into a BURNING HAMMER!
Kaye crawls into the cover and hooks the inside leg.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Page drapes his outside leg across the bottom rope in the eyesight of the referee forcing the count to be broken. Ned rolls off Page and gets to both knees throwing both arms up in the air thinking this is over.
Pip: Poor ring awareness there by Ned Kaye.
Kaye works his way to his feet still with his arms in the air as we see Page roll out to the floor. The referee lowers Ned’s arms and waves off the count as he explains Page’s foot was on the bottom rope. Heartbreak comes across the face of Kaye as he turns back around looking for Page but he is not seen. Kaye walks across the ring where he reaches through the top and middle rope to pick Page up by the hair on the floor and finds himself getting smacked in the face with a Barbed Wire Wrapped Steel Chair by Chris Page!
Page slides the chair in the ring and crawls back under the bottom rope.
Page gets to his feet where he picks up the barbed wire steel chair and uses it as a makeshift elbow across his forehead of Kaye! Page floats over and makes a cover.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Kaye escapes with a kick out!
HHL: Ned is not done yet!
Page slides back into a neutral corner in seated positon as he looks intently at a downed Kaye. Chris starts pulling himself to a vertical base where he runs his thumb across his throat. Page picks Ned up off the mat and sets him up… and delivers the PAGE PLANT!
This is academic as Page rolls Ned over and makes a cover.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
KAYE KICKS OUT!
The crowd of demons erupts with the action that has unfolded thus far to kick off Night Three of Relentless.
HHL: How…
Page works his way back to his feet where he decks the referee! Page drops to one knee due to extensive blood loss. He steps back up to his feet where he turns his attention back towards Kaye. Page picks him up off the mat and drives him back into a corner. Page hoists Ned up to a seated position on the top turnbuckle. Page decks Ned with a right hand before he starts to climb up on the middle rope. Page picks Ned up to the top rope where he sets Kaye up with a Belly to Belly suplex. Ned starts to fight free with a series of headbutts across the bridge of the nose causing Page to lose his balance for Kaye to shove Page backward off the top rope sending him crashing down to the mat and landing on top of the barbedwire-wrapped steel chair! Ned gathers his balance while in the ring Page rolls off the barbed wire wrapped chair with the shards of barbed wire ripping at his shirt and flesh. Page manages to work his way to his feet where Ned leaps off the top rope with a Hurrincanranna into a head scissors submission! The referee is still down as Page tries to fight free but Ned refuses to give an inch! Page refuses to surrender as we see the referee slowly starting to stir.
HHL: Come on ref!!!! Get up!!!
Pip: Stay down ref. There is no hazard pay for this job!
The referee slowly finds his way into position and starts asking Page to surrender! Page refuses but he starts fading as a relentless Ned Kaye refuses to let go! The referee continues asking Page to surrender, Page waves him off faintly before he collapses to the mat where we see Ned turn the Ego Crusher into a pinning combination!
1!!
2!!
3!!
HHL: He did it!!! HOLY SHIT HE DID IT!!!
Pip: Mother fucker!!
Winner - Ned Kaye
HHL: Ned Kaye beat Chris Page in the middle of the ring to open up night 3 of Relentless in one of the best matches I've ever seen!
Pip: Whatever.
Relentless heads to commercial as medics tend to both Chris Page and Ned Kaye.
The camera cuts backstage where Sean Parker is seen pacing back and forth. He’s already in his full ring attire. His full length pants are a crimson red color along with the design of a Rathalos from Monster Hunter emblazoned on them. Sean rubs his palms together, cricking his neck from side-to-side as he paces back and forth.
(Sean): Ten years I’ve been doing this… thrust into pro wrestling in a baptism of fire as a green 16 year-old, broken back, paralyzed, learned to walk again and back in the ring by the age of 18. I’ve seen and experienced more adversity than most people have in their entire careers.
In the years that have come and gone, I’ve come across a lot of good people who’ve helped me out, trained me, mentored me, guided me, took chances on me, gave me opportunities that no one else wanted to. I was trained and taught to never take for granted what you’re given. I was taught to respect all but fear none. I was taught to respect the business and everything it represents from the ground up, honor the people that build the house and make it possible for us to do what we do.
That’s why I’m always the first one that arrives and the last one that leaves. That’s why you’ll see me helping with ring assembly, speaking to the ring crew, speaking to the fans, giving advice to those with less experience. That’s why you’ll see me with a headset on, sitting backstage watching from Gorilla. That’s why, even though I wasn’t on the card, I was here for Day One of Relentless, watching Dion and Slade, Penelope and Myra and everyone else lay a marker down. It’s why I was here for Day 2 watching Theo Pryce and Eli James put on one of the most brutal battles I’ve ever seen. It’s why, no matter what happens in my match tonight, I’ll be sticking around for Corey Smith versus Thunder Knuckles, because these guys are my peers, no matter the brand.
Sean looks up at the camera, his emerald green eyes almost blazing a hole through the lens.
(Sean): That’s the mentality I was raised on. So when then there’s guys like Kevin Mears…guys who treat this business like it owes them a favor, who think they’re bigger than the house they occupy. Guys like Kevin Mears who can’t even be bothered to stick around to watch the guys who took the time to watch him… it makes me sick to my stomach… because it doesn’t matter who is on the most money, who is in the main event, who opens the show… It matters what we do when we climb through those ropes and the bell rings. At that point, everything else disappears and we’re nothing but two men. But you don’t see it like that, do you?
That’s because you encapsulate everything that’s wrong with this business, Kevin. You might have that Uprising World Championship belt around your waist but you’re no champion, not the part that counts anyway. Real champions embody the essence of this sport - grit, heart and respect for the craft. You may have gold but you lack the essence of a true champion; the kind that leaves a legacy long after the lights dim and the crowds disperse. See, I’ve been around long enough to know wrestling isn’t about who can make the most money or who is the most famous. It’s about grit, integrity and respect…and that…
Sean points at the camera.
(Sean): …will ALWAYS prevail over greed, over sloth, over gluttony and tonight I’m going to prove just that. In the years to come, no one’s going to remember you, Kevin, even with all your money and worldly possessions. They’re going to remember the man who always put everything on the line to put on the best show possible, the man who shed the tears, spilled the blood, who stood on the shoulders of giants, honoring the legends who came before him and paved the way, to carry the torch of this sport with pride and to elevate it to new heights. I want my victories to mean something, to be a testament to the hard work, sacrifice and dedication that professional wrestling mandates. Unlike you, Kevin, I want to be a true champion, respected and revered for my genuine contributions, my skill, my heart…. So go ahead, keep downplaying the significance of our match, keep downplaying my credibility and skills as a performer because it’s just going to make it that much sweeter later tonight when that final bell rings. I’ll be the new number one contender for the XWF United States Championship. And you? You’ll be left to grapple with the reality of realizing that underestimating me was the worst mistake you ever made.
Sean stares into the camera one final time before walking off screen and the cameras return to the main arena.
The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad.
As Comanche blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Bobby Bourbon. He looks out at the crowd in the arena, cold and stoic, surveying his surroundings. He stops and raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Bobby climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops.
The arena goes dark and an ominous red fog rises up around the stage giving the illusion that there was a fire burning below it. Through the mist rises Doctor Louis D'Ville in his pearl-white suit and a grin from ear to ear. He takes a step forward, while standing at the top of the ramp he take a deep breath of the fiery mist and exhales before slowly making his way to the ring.
BOBBY BOURBON
- vs -
DOC D'VILLE 2 rps/3k - Ladder Match for the 24/7 Briefcase
*ding*ding*ding*
Bobby circles in with Doc. Doc with a roundhouse, blocked by Bobby.
Bobby with an overhand left, Doc blocks.
Dock with a liver kick.
Robbie blocks it.
PooBOB with a right hook.
Dawk deflects the shot.
Bobby and Doc step away from each other. The crowd roars.
HHL: These fans like what they’ve seen so far tonight!
PIP: These two are just getting warmed up!
Doc and Bobby go to tie up, and Doc applies a clean hammerlock. He takes time to ash his cigar outside of the ring and replace it. Bobby with a snapmare to Doc! Bobby holds the chin following, pressing his knee into Doc’s back. Doc grabs the hand on his chin and rotates, setting in an even cleaner hammerlock. Doc again ashes his cigar. Bobby leans and tries to scoop Doc’s foot, Doc sweeps it back and slaps the back of Bobby’s head. Bobby snorts and counters the hammerlock into an arm wrench, then a double arm wrench, then snaps the shoulder across his knee!
HHL: Expert mat tacticians showing Hell how it’s done.
PIP: These guys aren’t textbook, Heather, they’re the word.
Doc shakes his shoulder, getting feeling back into it. Bobby kicks at Doc with a sloppy gut kick, and Doc hops out of the way. Bobby smirks, points at Doc, and then down. Doc and Bobby tie up! Doc with a vertical suplex to Bobby, and he floats over into a rear naked choke!
HHL: Brilliant strategy by Doc, Pip!
PIP: Bobby can’t tap out, Heather, Doc just needs to put him out and climbing that ladder is easy peasy!
Doc sinks back with the rear naked, ashing his cigar as he does. Bobby struggles, trying to fight Doc off of him, but to no avail. Bobby rolls over onto his knees, the weight of Doc on top of him! Bobby grabs a rope, and stabilizes himself, Doc on his back as he stands! Bobby is to his feet, and he holds Doc’s legs! Bobby drops backward, crushing Doc!
HHL: Doc’s been pancaked!
PIP: He’s let go of the choke!
Bobby rolls off of Doc, who rolls to the outside of the ring. Regrouping, Doc steps slowly towards the ladder. Bobby gets to his feet, and looks up and out of the ring. Doc beckons for him, and Bobby slides out of the ring! Doc shoves the standing ladder over to fall onto Bobby! Bobby catches it! Doc grabs the grounded part of the ladder and picks it ups! Both men tug of war for the ladder! Bobby pulls! Doc pulls back! Bobby pulls! Doc pulls back! Bobby grins and pushes with Doc in his direction, and smashes him into the steel ring steps! Doc releases the ladder, and Bobby picks it up! Bobby charges in, looking to ram the ladder straight into Doc’s skull! Doc ducks at the last millisecond! Doc in with an uppercut to Bobby’s midsection. A hook to his waist! Bobby drops the ladder onto Doc! Doc reels back, and he and Bobby once again face each other, a ladder on the floor between them.
HHL: How many times do these men go back to square one tonight, Pip?
PIP: Until an advantage has set, this isn’t chess, it’s a ladder match, and these men know there’s no stalemate.
Each man grabs the opposite side of the ladder, Bobby pulls at it but Doc has learned his trick! Doc releases and Bobby stumbles back against the guardrail! Doc with a roundhouse to the ladder, pressing into Bobby and the guardrail! Doc with another stiff kick to the ladder, again crushing Bobby between it and the unforgiving hellcarved stone bordering the ring. Doc throws a third kick, Bobby raises the ladder striking Doc’s knee! Doc backs away, and Bobby slams the ladder down on Doc’s toes! Doc stumbles away down the ring apron to a corner, and Bobby stands up, and he once again goes to lance Doc with the ladder! Doc moves his head sideways! Bobby lowers the head of the ladder last minute! Doc is hit square in the knee with the head of the ladder! Doc drops, and Bobby swings the ladder up, catching Doc in the chin, sending him back reeling!
HHL: Bobby almost decapitated Doc!
PIP: Bobby Bourbon has been in some ladder matches. He doesn’t know the details, he says that’s for nerds.
Bobby with a shot to Doc’s midsection still wielding the ladder like a lance. Doc catches the ladder, and pulls it down and away, bringing Bobby closer! Doc with a leaping knee strike to Bobby’s chin! Bobby spins, dropping the ladder, and Doc steps in! Snap suplex from Doc to Bobby onto the ladder on the outside! Bourbon howls in pain as Doc slides up, seated, and removes the destroyed cigar from his mouth, casting it aside. Doc to his feet, and he throws a sick sweeping kick to Bobby’s face. Bobby keels and stumbles off of the ladder.
HHL: It looks like Doc wants to use the ladder a little more, Pip.
PIP: Yeah, but for what?
Doc opens the ladder, and kicks Bobby again. Bobby rolls over, and Doc places the bottom rung over Bobby’s throat! Doc starts to climb the ladder, pressing all his weight and bouncing on it, trying to crush Bobby’s windpipe! Bobby presses the ladder up and off, sending Doc back! Bobby spins and gets to a knee, and Doc shuffles the ladder directly at him! Bobby catches it, and now both men stand, neither putting torque on the ladder. They drop it onto the floor. Both men clash and begin throwing punches directly into each other, like hockey players. Old school brawling on display here in Hell as Bobby and Doc really just see who’s better at getting punched in the face for a solid forty seconds. The fans are going wild as both men finally back away. Bobby rubs blood from a busted lip. Doc touches a cut on his left cheek and looks at his own blood, smiling.
HHL: This is intense, Heather, these men just keep dishing it out to one another and neither is getting any headway!
PIP: This is the irresistible force and the immovable object, don’t ask me the odds here, but it’s going to be loud!
The fans in attendance have begun a familiar chant.
*FIGHT FOREVER!*
Bobby and Doc circle one another, and go into another tie up. No! Snap knee from Bobby Bourbon! Bobby grabs Doc as he’s double’d over, and goes for the Bobbybomb!
No! Doc drops off of Bobby’s shoulders and goes for a DDT!
Just an inch from impact, Bobby catches Doc, holds his hand out, wagging a finger ‘no’, and hoists doc! Bobby with a back body drop to Doc onto the downed ladder!
No! Doc flips all the way out and onto his feet! He spins with a roundhouse, as Bobby comes with a backfist, and they both parry each other’s strikes. The fans chant grows.
*FIGHT FOREVER!*FIGHT FOREVER!*
Bobby and Doc pause, and look around, until Doc kicks Bobby! Bobby stumbles back to the ring post as Bobby picks up the ladder and puts it into the ring! Doc rolls in, and Bobby follows quickly after! Doc stands and throws a boot to Bobby, who’s not on his feet yet! Bobby catches the foot, and twists, doing a dragon screw from the prone position! Bobby uses the ropes to help him up swiftly, and he throws a boot to Doc! Doc gets kicked in the shoulder that Bobby wrenched earlier, and rubs it! Bobby hoists Doc up! Doc bites Bobby’s nose! Bobby releases Doc, and Doc hoists Bobby up!
LOBOTOMY!
NO! Bobby falls out to his feet, and Doc can’t believe it! Bobby with a shot to Doc! Doc is up!
BOBBYBOMB!
NO! Again the Bobbybomb is countered as Doc does a headscissors whip to Bobby, sending him to the corner! No, Bobby clings to Doc, and runs with him to the corner! Bobby leaps, but Doc grabs the bottom ropes and pulls himself out from under Bobby, gliding to his feet onto the ring apron! Bobby catches himself in the corner, standing and facing Doc to the outside! Bobby with a huge haymaker! Doc ducks, throwing a knee to Bobby’s midsection. Bobby rears back, and Doc springboards, coming down with a knee to Bobby! Bobby catches Doc, spins, and tosses him away, but Doc lands with a back flip! The fans can’t get enough!
Bobby and Doc look around, acknowledging the fans chants! They go to shake hands! Doc with a cheap shot roundhouse, sending Bobby into next Tuesday!
NEXT TUESDAY, HELL
Bobby shakes the cobwebs free as he looks around. Doc looks around too. They’re both in hell, but the arena is gone. Random demons and demonettes all stop and point, cheering! Bobby and Doc realize they’d made a pact in hell to fight forever. Now they have to. Both men charge each other, then blink out of existence.
Suddenly, bursting through a door, we see Bobby Bourbon reeling backwards, and through the same door comes Doctor Louis D’Ville! D’Ville lays a hard right at Bobby, and another! Bobby catches the second punch and pivots D’Ville! He throws a forearm, and another forearm!
STEVE SAYORS: OH no, Bobby Bourbon and Doctor Louis D’Ville are brawling like crazy! Someone needs to stop this! Send security!
Bobby and D’Ville brawl down a hall, and into another open door, which slams shut behind them. As they do, Bobby Bourbon, in completely different ring gear, saunters up behind Steve holding a cup of coffee.
BOBBY BOURBON: What’s going on?
Steve Sayors turns around, absolutely gobsmacked.
Bobby and Doc tie up, and warp out of this existence.
APRIL 2, 151, ROME
The Colosseum is packed, and those in attendance can not get enough bloodshed and violence. As a death battle finishes, another makes its way into the arena, and the people gathered look on in delight at the surprise attraction of Bobby Bourbon and Doctor Louis D’Ville.
Doc grabs a gladius from the ground and charges Bobby, who narrowly sidesteps Doc. Bobby rolls away, picking up a shield as he does. Doc charges in, but Bobby blocks the blow, then throws his shoulder into the shield, knocking Doc back! Bobby picks up a gladius, and Doc grabs a shield! The two men clash, both blade and shield locked together with blade and shield alike. Roses are thrown from the Emperor’s box into the gladatorial pit.
It’s at this point, the Lions became aware of what was happening in the pit. A starved male pounces at Bobby and Doc, who both turn and impale the beast with dual gladius thrusts. Their weapons stuck, they pivot and both collapse the skull of another lion charging in with their shields, the handles breaking after the shock. Bobby and Doc turn and tie up, and as they do, the flash out of existence, leaving the spectators in Rome standing in awe.
War Games is in full effect, and the house is rocking as the current match is underway.
Doc hits Corey with a clothesline, putting him up against a cage wall! TK and Dolly are to their feet, and TK smashes Dolly’s head into the cage wall! Dolly smashes TK’s head into the wall! She whips TK into the ropes, and on the return does a drop toe hold to TK, sending him headfirst into steel! Doc holds Corey’s head to the cage wall, raking his face with the steel mesh, but Corey throws a back elbow to Doc, backing him off. Corey with a rear kick between Doc’s legs! Doc is doubled over, and backs further away! With that, the lights go out in the arena again!
When they come back up, outside of the cage, on the entrance ramp, we see Doctor Louis D’Ville engaged in an all out brawl with Bobby Bourbon!
HHL: What the hell is this!
PIP: Even Doc is baffled!
Doc looks up the ramp at himself fighting Bobby Bourbon! The fans are screaming! The lights drop again, and when they come back up, the Doc and Bourbon who started fighting at Relentless are gone!
MARCH 15, 1917, ARGONNE, FRANCE
It’s dusk, and the commotion is finally settling down in the trenches. The Germans all have stopped firing, for now, and the British and French forces are tucked into theirs. In the hellscape of no man’s land, barbed wire and corpses litter the muddied by blood dirt.
The Germans notice first, and whistles report from the British lines as Bobby and Doc zap into existence there and then. Doc with a huge left to Bobby, following that up with a leaping knee strike! No, Bobby blocks the knee, pops Doc up, and hits a Dinosaur Extinctor in no-mans-land! Orders are barked at the two men in German as bullets begin to whiz by them. A mortar shell hits and sends clods of earth skyward with a plume of blue smoke.
Bobby stands up, and grabs Doc’s leg, looking to do damage! Doc kicks Bobby in the face! A bullet whizzes by both men as a whiz bang rocket penetrates the earth nearby. Doc kips up, and throws a vicious roundhouse to Bobby’s jaw. A spinning roundhouse from Doc! Thigh kick from Doc! Spinning reverse knee kick by Doc, and Bobby drops to a knee! Decaptitator head kick from Doc! Bobby hits the dirt and as he does, another mortar comes crashing in. Doc lifts Bobby up, sneering as he does, and Bobby grabs Doc by the throat for it! Doc breaks the goozle hold, and both men disappear from the battlefield just as a mortar hits where they were!
Bobby gets into the ring and both men tie up! Kido gets a hammerlock onto Bobby, who throws a back elbow to Kido! Bobby reverses the hammerlock into a top wrist lock! Kido with a forearm to Bobby! Bobby with a forearm to Kido, still keeping the top wrist lock in! Kido counters the top wrist lock with an arm wrench! Bobby counters with a clothesline! Kido ducks the clothesline and lifts Bobby up for a back drop suplex! Bobby struggles back to the ground, and holds Kido still with a headlock. Kido lifts Bobby again for the back drop, but Bobby kicks off the cage wall and pivots into a cross body onto Kido, pancaking him! Bobby sets a chinlock onto Kido!
Suddenly, the arena goes dark.
When the lights come up, in the second ring, we see Doctor Louis D’Ville and Bobby Bourbon, who started in hell, brawling!
HHL: Again? What in the absolute depths of hell is going on here?
Bobby releases the hold and backs away watching in bewilderment. Kido catches his breath and watches as well just as confused. The other Bobby takes Doc by the head and rams him into the cage, shaking the entire structure! Doc sneers, throwing an elbow into Bobby’s throat, then bashing Bobby’s head into the cage! The lights fall, and when they come back up, our Bobby and Doc are gone!
MARCH 15, 1939, HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA
The massive sound stage production is in full swing, lights, camera, and action. Hundreds of dwarves flood the scene as the final touches are made to the cinematic classic, The Wizard of Oz. As Judy Garland looks on in befuddlement, the production is halted as Bobby Bourbon and Doctor Louis D’Ville blink into the scene.
Doc chucks a dwarf at Bobby! Bobby catches the member of the Lullabye League and gently places her on the ground. Doc then picks up the entire Lollypop Guild and heaves them at Bobby! Bobby picks up a bench and catches the hobbits dwarves and places them on the ground! Having had enough, the residents of Munchkinland rise up! They rush both Bobby and Doc, who mercifully leave this weird ass segment of the match!
Chelsea feints a shoot but neither of the other competitors bite, and she shoots back! Cent sends a signal like he’s ready to start things off, but no! Instead he’s waiting until everybody else! Sid throws a hand forwards, and Cent and Chelsea each recoil on the ready for whatever she has to bring to the ring tonight!
At this point, the lights drop.
They suddenly come back on, and in the center of the ring, between Cent, Sid, and Chelsea, we see Bobby Bourbon and Doctor Louis D’Ville each holding the other by the throat!
GATOR: What the shit, if I knew Bobby and Doc were on this show I’d give a fuck!
TODD: I DO AND WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?
Bobby Bourbon hoists Doc up high, and plants him with an EMC in front of the three competitors, who look absolutely baffled! Bobby goes to an unnoccupied corner and climbs!
FLYING CIRCUS from Bobby!
Doc rolls out of the way, and Bobby lands with a nasty thud. The fans here in Seattle begin to chant!
*FIGHT FOREVER!*FIGHT FOREVER!*FIGHT FOREVER!*
Bobby and Doc dissipate from this time and place!
PRE CALENDAR, 22000 BCE, UNKNOWN
Primitive humans, at best nomadic, prepare to fight, picking up sharpened sticks and gesturing at a rival tribe. Two sides are set to go to war again. Suddenly, both the primative tribes stop dead as before them, two bodies from far in the future appear. Doc with a standing side kick to Bobby! Bobby with an open palm strike to Doc! Both the tribes start to hoot and shout, and the first spectator sport ever in human history is underway. Bobby parries Doc. Doc parries Bourbon. Both men disappear again, and the tribes clash!
Before the next match can even get underway, the lights in the arena go dark.
CENTURION: What is happening?
DERRICK DIAMOND: Maybe they didn’t pay the electricity bill?
The fans in MSG go absolutely wild, and the lights come back up! In the ring, we see…
CENTURION: What the hell? Why the hell are these two here?!
DERRICK DIAMOND: That’s Bobby Bourbon and Doctor Louis D’Ville, but they’re not under contract with WGWF!
Doc throws a back chop to Bobby, cracking him across his massive chest. Another back chop from Doc with no love lost whatsoever. A third chop from Doc, but Bobby catches Doc’s hand and rears back! Bobby drives a shoulder into Doc, holding the wrist! Bobby with another shoulder to Doc! Doc grabs the back of Bobby’s head with a handful of hair, and slings him down to the mat!
No! Bobby plants his back foot and doesn’t budge, defiantly glaring back at Doc! The fans are all chanting!
*HOLY SHIT!*HOLY SHIT!*HOLY SHIT!*HOLY SHIT!*HOLY SHIT!*
CENTURION: What are these two men even doing here in a WGWF ring, Derrick! This is absolute hell!
DERRICK DIAMOND: I don’t know, I can’t tell if they’re invading or they just don’t like each other and want to settle things in the ring tonight, here in Madison Square Garden!
Bobby regains some leverage and throws Doc across the ring! Doc tumbles and reels back to a kneels position in the corner. Bobby turns and looks around, then looks at Centurion.
BOURBON: Really? You got an announcing gig before I did? Whose dick are you sucking?
Doc takes advantage of Bobby’s distraction and lays into him with a forearm to the back of the head!
CENTURION: Fans, don’t pay attention to what that man says, he’s a liar and a menace to society!
DERRICK DIAMOND: Uh huh. Right.
Centurion looks absolutely frazzled as his lower lip quivers along with his shaking head.
CENTURION: I was hired for my tenure in the ring and knowledge of technical grappling!
DERRICK DIAMOND: Yeah, and according to the big one he says you’ve mastered the gonadal lip lock.
Security finally mobilizes from the back as they storm the ring! Doc slams Bobby’s head into the announce table! Bobby with a back elbow, and he hoists Doc up and body slams him onto the announce table, laying him out! Bobby climbs the announce table, and lifts Doc up into a bearhug! As security arrives, Bobby charges with Doc off the announce table and dives out into the crowd!
The lights drop again! When they come back up, security, the announce team, and the fans in attendance all scream as there is no sign of Bobby Bourbon or Doctor Louis D’Ville, both having vanished as easily as they appeared.
UNKNOWN, 705023 AD, A WASTELAND
Whatever we know of our earth today is gone. There are no traces of humanity left. The barren landscape before you suggests nothing survived. Doctor Louis D’Ville appears, and catches his breath. A second later, Bobby Bourbon is there, and both men pause and glare at each other.
No words could be spoken now.
Both men clash, each throwing forearms into each other with the ferocity of primal beasts, the demonic forces within each man manifest more and more with each horrific blow. Wounds seep, the deep red crimson cascading from each man’s face, their features all the more devilish as a result. Doc finally gets an advantage, and he hoists Bobby up!
LOBOTOMY!
Bourbon is motionless on the ground. Doc looks around the wasteland, and laughs. The ladder, hell, and existence were behind these two now. They were all that was left of a world that deserved destruction. Too stubborn to die, too important in their time and place, however many there are. Doc turns and throws a boot to Bobby, who is recovering from the Lobotomy. Another boot to Bobby, and Doc lifts Bourbon up. Doc grabs Bobby by the jaw, and slaps him. Bobby snarls, and kicks Doc in the gut!
BOBBYBOMB!
Doc immediately sits up, stares at Bobby, and grins. Bobby boots Doc in the jaw, sending him crashing back down! Bobby grabs Doc and lifts him up, but Doc hits Bobby with an elbow to the jaw, backing him away! Both men disappear from the post-apocalypse.
JANUARY 1, 1999, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
The aspiring promoters are ready to join into the hottest era of wrestling. Their new banner has arrived, proudly reading EXTREME WRESTLING FEDERATION. Bobby and Doc burst into the scene, and the promoters look absolutely stunned! Was this an audition for their new wrestling company?
Doc with a vicious left to Bobby, which causes the big man to reel! Doc dives onto Bobby’s back with a sleeper! Bobby grabs at the banner! He rips a piece off, and wraps it around Doc’s head, slinging him off! They disappear. The promoters look at the now desecrated banner, which simply reads XTREME WRESTLING FEDERATION. They nod in approval.
Bobby and Doc flash into existence, and are spent. Both men look weary. Down the hall, Robbie Bourbon from 2018 sees what he thinks is a dozen hot dogs in a room. He enters, but after a case slides in front of the door, sealing him in! Elsewhere, unawares of himself and his opponent for tonight, Doctor Louis D’Ville from 2018 enters a room, and by some strange coincidence, a case slides in front of it too. Theo Pryce approaches the wiped out Bobby and Doc from our current timeline.
Jesus, you two were fighting already, couldn’t wait? Well, you have a match! And where’s your mask, Robbie?
Theo calls over BWP, who rushes in with a spare mask. Theo puts it on Bobby’s cranium, and he and BWP get Bobby to his feet.
Go out there, the people want a match!
The opening chords to I Don Quixote permeate throughout the air as Robbie's music starts to play throughout the arena, the match ensues just as I wrote it out in 2018.
”What a match folks! Two of the very best leave it all in the ring! Neither one willing to go down so long as there was an ounce of fight in their bodies!”
”D’Ville just won, but he doesn’t even know it because he’s out cold! How often do you see that in the XWF?
”What we witnessed tonight was a once in a lifetime match, and we gave it away on free TV!”
The ref attends to Doc and Bourbon as EMTs rush to the ring to check out both men. They’re both wheeled to the back, and as they are, they both disappear. Suddenly, the broom closets both men from 2018 open, and both stumble out. They approach each other with ill intent, thinking the other responsible. As they do, Theo approaches.
Great match! How are you two even standing! Well, you’re both getting bonuses for that one.
Contented they got paid for zero work, Robbie Bourbon and Doctor Louis D’Ville from 2018 shake hands and leave together.
TODAY, XWF HEADQUARTERS
The office of Theo Pryce looks peculiar, the lights off since there’s a PPV going on at the moment. Doc and Bourbon appear once again, as they have thus far. Doc slams Bobby into a bookshelf. Bobby pulls a book down from the shelf and hits Doc with it. Bobby pulls another one down, but stops, and looks at the book peculiarly, as does Doc. It’s Green Eggs and Ham. Both men stop and turn, having never inspected Theo’s bookshelf.
Sporadic issues of Nintendo Power. Self Help Books. The Idiots Guide to Becoming an Electrician. Bobby and Doc just stare, agog, at what Theo considers to be stimulating reading material. It’s almost as though Theo doesn’t actually read them, he just found them and needed books on his shelves because he’s a CEO, and if you’ve ever watched TV or a movie a CEO always has a full bookshelf.
Doc sneers and grabs a copy of the Guiness Book of Sports Records, 1992 and claps Bobby on the back with it. Bobby reaches up and pulls A Fisherman’s Guide to Vermont, 1995 down off the shelf and hits Doc back. Doc bounds across the room to another book shelf. He pulls three mint copies of the Bridges of Madison County down from Theo’s bookshelf, untouched by hands until now, and throws them at Bobby! Bobby bats them out of the sky with a series of travel maps for the state of Wyoming!
Theo reads stupid shit!
I KNOW!
Both men blink out of existence once again. In the background, we see Theo’s pristine and beautiful platinum inlaid ivory desk. Bobby and Doc reappear atop it, and both men look down. Doc snaps to action and hoists Bobby for a Lobotomy! No! Bobby’s legs hit the ceiling and he crashes back down on top of Doc! Both men crash through Theo’s desk, smashing it to smithereens! They blink out of existence again!
TODAY, IN HELL
HERE AND NOW.
HHL: OH MY GOD! WHAT A MATCH!
PIP: I know, and we finally found out that match that happened back in 2018 was actually happening tonight! Huh, who’da thunk it?
Doc and Bobby appear back in the ring, and the fans are loving it, every bit of their escapades playing out on the Xtron, because yes, they fucking set up the Xtron in Hell.
The crowd exchange chants for each competitor as Doc and Bobby lock eyes, beaten and bruised from their mad battle through time and space; a circular pit of fire opens up in the center of the ring and from it a ladder made from living corpses and gore raises underneath the briefcase dangling precariously above the ring.
The pair exchange a glance and immediately rush the ladder as the crowd pop huge.
HHL: Both men want this to end, one final battle atop the ladder!
PIP: Heather, your ability to state the obvious is unparalleled.
Undead arms weakly try to grasp at each of them as they scale the ladder and reach the top; Bobby throws a forearm and Doc returns with one his own and both begin launching attacks in a barrage of forearms atop the ladder; blood pouring from their faces as neither man goes down.
Until.
Bobby goes in deep and his elbow connects with Doc's temple and he falls back, his fingertips barely latching onto the living ladder. Bourbon reaches forward and grabs Doc, pulling him in and looking for...
HHL: BOBBYBOMB!!!!
Bourbon lifts Doc high into the air and bombs from downward from atop the ladder.
The crowd go apeshit as Doc crashes down and Bobby goes to retrieve the case!!!
PIP: HE'S GOT IT!!!
But Bourbon's face drops as he sees no case!
Looking down at the prone body of D'Ville weakly smirking with a laugh as he holds the briefcase tucked into his arms!
PIP: DOC GRABBED THE CASE MID-BOBBYBOMB!!! THAT GENIUS!
WINNER - DOCTOR LOUIS D'VILLE
Doc's theme hits as Bobby looks dejected but a little impressed as he scales down the ladder and the referee helps D'Ville to raise his arm in victory.
“Ken’s Theme [Metal Cover]” by ToxicxEternity starts to play throughout the arena. As the song plays its slow, building intro, Sean Parker appears on the stage in a hooded waistcoat. He goes down on one knee, his head low as sparks fill the stage area. When the song explodes into life, Sean leaps to his feet, his arms outstretched and his hood falls back behind him. Sean walks confidently to the ring, running as he gets ringside and slides effortlessly under the bottom rope. He takes off his waistcoat, tossing it into the crowd before he climbs up one of the turnbuckles and fist pumps before doing a backflip back down as his music fades out.
The opening lyrics of "The World is Spinning" by DMAD begins to play as a strobe lighting effect begins at the entrance. When the song hits its normal tempo with DMAD rapping, that's when Kevin appears in the entrance. Wearing a leather jacket with heart-shaped red glasses and a cane twirling in his hand, he looks behind him before he's joined by Summer Page. She takes his hand before they head towards the ring. Kevin opens the ropes for her, enjoying the view as she bends over to step inside before joining her.
Ring Announcer: Hailing from Atlantic City, New Jersey and weighing in at 175 lbs...and accompanied by Summer Page....this is KEVIN MEARS!!
He heads to the corner followed by Summer. They share a kiss before she steps out to ringside in his corner.
UNITED STATES TITLE #1 CONTENDERS MATCH
SEAN PARKER
- vs -
KEVIN MEARS Madness Rules - Standard Match
JC: The GM made ‘em wait for Relentless but Relentless is here and it’s now!
DR: All the talk, all the build is over! It’s Mears and Parker right NOW!
Sean and Mears lock eyes, their deep-seated animosity practically sparking in the air. The audience is perched on the edges of their seats, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. They know they are about to witness something truly epic, a showdown that has been brewing for weeks. The referee signals for the bell to ring, and as soon as it does, the crowd erupts in a chorus of boos and cheers for either man. This match isn't just about two wrestlers vying for victory; it's a battle of egos, a feud that transcends the confines of the squared circle.
Sean suddenly explodes out of his corner with a wild jumping spinning roundhouse aimed squarely at Mears' head. But Mears, with lightning-quick agility, ducks under Sean's spinning leg as it whizzes harmlessly over his head. In one fluid motion, Mears counters with a textbook Pele Kick that connects with Sean's temple, snapping his head back with a resounding thud. Sean staggers backward but he regains his composure.
Mears doesn’t give him a second to dwell though, grabbing Sean by the back of the head and proceeds to deliver a relentless series of Running European Uppercuts, each one hitting its mark with pinpoint accuracy. The sound of forearm meeting chin echoes through the arena, and Sean is forced to momentarily retreat under the barrage, covering up. He pulls Sean into a tight side headlock, slowing the pace of the match down. He squeezes hard, putting extra pressure on the side of Sean’s head with his bicep. Sean lowers his center of gravity, trying to alleviate the pressure but Mears, having the slight weight advantage, doesn’t budge.
JC: Kevin Mears continues to control the pace of this match!
DR: Dictate the pace, speed it up, slow it down, and keep Sean Parker off balance!
Mears, at intervals, peppers Sean’s forehead with straight punches. Sean tries to force Mears onto the ropes, looking for an Irish whip to get out of the headlock but as he runs, Mears skids to halt, sliding onto his side, headlock still in place. He smirks and shakes his head confidently. Mears continues to squeeze tight on the side headlock as Sean’s arms try to navigate a way out of the predicament. He manages to pivot his body though and leans back, pulling Mears with him into a modified pinning combination with Mears’ shoulders pinned to the mat! The referee counts!
1….
2…Mears is forced to relinquish the headlock and rolls his shoulders off the canvas. Both men come back to their feet, Mears every-so-slightly fresher. He nails Sean with another hard European Uppercut before rebounding off the ropes and hits him with a disaster kick
DR: Mears goes for a cover this time, hooking the near leg.
JC: 1…
2…
DR: But no, Sean still has the energy to kick out with authority!
Mears is straight back on him though, not giving him a second to recuperate. He goes to one knee, driving into the back of Sean whilst pulling his head back at the same time. Sean grunts in pain, his face showing it as well. Mears keeps the hold applied for about ten seconds before releasing it and shoots off the ropes, leaping up and crashing into Sean with a beautifully-executed Quebrada.
DR: He hooks the leg again!
JC: 1…
2…
DR: Again though, Sean shows his tenacity by thrusting his shoulder off the mat, forcing another nearfall.
A contemplative look crosses Mears’ face for the quickest of moments as he pulls Sean back to his feet. He drives a hard boot into his midsection before lifting him up onto his shoulder. He carries Sean around the ring for a moment, showing an impressive display of strength before going for a MIchinoku Driver. However, Sean takes advantage of Mears’ brief moment of overconfidence and manages to wriggle out of it, sliding behind him and out of nowhere, Sean wraps his arms around Mears’ shoulders and aggressively thrusts him backwards with a hard snap dragon suplex. Mears’ lands right on the back of his head but Sean is in the ascendancy now and comes swooping in, landing a jaw-dropping standing…
JC: Shooting star press!
DR: He goes for the cover!
JC: 1…
2….
DR: No! Mears has the wherewithal to kick out!
He shakes his head, feeling a little dazed from the dragon suplex but Sean isn’t one to rest on his laurels either. He brings Mears’ back to his feet and jumps up, catching him in the chest with a jumping back kick that sends him staggering back into the corner. Sean builds up a head of steam and goes for a big running corner clothesline but Mears displays great ring awareness and uses the ropes on either side of the turnbuckle to lift himself up and rams both boots straight into the onrushing Sean.
Mears hops up into a seated position on the top turnbuckle, pulling Sean in for what looks like a Tornado DDT. Sean redistributes his body weight though and stops Mears. He reaches up, still in a front face lock and catches him with a well-placed shot to the kidneys before breaking free of Mears’ grip. Sean this time begins to climb up the turnbuckle with Mears and soon enough both are standing precariously, side-by-side on the top rope.
They nail each other with sly shots, trying to throw each other’s balance off until Sean suddenly grabs Mears and flips them both through, landing an incredible Spanish Fly that brings the crowd to its feet with thunderous cheers. The high-risk move looks to have taken it out of Sean too though as he’s on his knees but his face is on the mat, contorted in pain, holding his stomach. Mears is star-fished on the mat, not having moved for a few seconds until finally he flexes his fingers in both his hands, blinking his eyes.
Sean sees out of his peripheral vision Mears still lying on his back and crawls over, placing himself on top of him as the referee counts.
JC: 1…..
2….
DR: No, just the 2-count!
Sean’s delay in making the cover giving Mears those vital seconds to get his breath and his bearings back. Sean brings Mears back to his feet, still slightly favoring his own ribs after the Spanish Fly but still has the energy to hit a lightning-fast snap Hurricanrana that sends Mears spiraling through the air. Mears crashes to the canvas but bounces straight back up. With Mears reeling at least for the time being, Sean capitalizes on the moment. He runs off the ropes, catching Mears in the chin with a spinning heel kick.
Again, Mears’ own momentum sends him back to his feet. Sean runs up his upper body and executes a perfect headscissors takeover. However Mears displays his own tenacity and athleticism by flipping out of the headscissors and lands perfectly on his feet. He then runs off the ropes and goes for his own headscissors but instead of flipping Sean over, he rotates over again, pulling Sean into a front face lock and drills him with a DDT. Mears still has the energy and time to smirk and tap his temple before going for a cover.
JC: 1….
2…
DR: Sean powers out though!
A brief look of annoyance crosses Mears’ face before he goes back onto the attack. He positions himself behind Sean and delivers a series of hammer-and-anvil elbows to the side of his head and neck area before immediately transitioning into the “Call Your Chiropractor” (Stump Puller), sitting on the back of Sean’s neck and pulling one of his legs upwards. Sean's face contorts in agony, but he refuses to give in to the pain. The referee is down beside him checking for the submission but even with his body in the uncompromising position it’s in, Sean vehemently shakes his head.
The crowd cheers for Sean’s resilience and heart. Mears continues to crank up the pressure, pulling Sean’s leg up tight but still he refuses to tap or verbally submit. Out of nowhere, Sean uses Mears’ momentum and grip on his leg to pull forward and manages to ram his knee straight into Mears’ face, forcing him to let go of the painful hold.
Sean doesn’t have the energy to respond right away though as he still favors his neck slightly. This gives Mears the opportunity he needs to continue his assault. He runs at Sean at full speed and cracks him straight in the face with a Penalty Kick. Sean's jaw rattles from the force of the blow. Without missing a beat, Mears transitions seamlessly into a Backstabber, pulling Sean down and driving both of his knees into the small of his back, leaving Sean writhing in agony on the canvas. Mears goes for another cover, more forceful this time, hooking one of Sean’s legs and pinning his arm to his side for extra leverage.
JC: 1…
2…
DR: No! Sean kicks out once more!
JC: Showing his heart and resilience!
Mears yanks Sean back to his feet, pulling his head between his legs as if he’s going for a powerbomb/lungblower but at the last moment, Sean wriggles out, much to the delight of the crowd. He lands on his feet right in front of Mears and begins to tee off on him with a series of martial arts-style kicks and punches, overwhelming his opponent. Sean goes high and low with his kicks, aiming for Mears’ legs, his midsection and head with all sorts of kicks before finishing off the combination with a hard spinning back elbow that cracks Mears’ right in the temple.
Sean finishes off the combination by pulling Mears into a front face lock, lifting and twisting before driving back down with the “Helheim Hellfire” Twisting Northern Lights Bomb! Instead of going for the cover though, Sean hurriedly makes his way to one of the corners. He ascends to the top rope, a place where he feels most at home, preparing for something big which the crowd also senses.
Sean leaps off, twisting through the air like a corkscrew with the “Diving Wyvern” (Spinal Tap). Sean takes flight, soaring through the air with grace and precision, ready to bring the hammer down. But Mears has an incredible in-ring IQ and has other plans. He calculates Sean's trajectory with split-second precision and rolls out of harm's way at the last possible moment.
The crowd gasps collectively as Sean crashes and burns, his body colliding with the canvas in a spectacular display.
Sean rolls around on the mat, clutching his ribs, the breath clearly knocked out of him. Mears senses an opportunity and brings Sean up before grabbing him by the back of the head and drills him back down with the “See My Knee” Single-Knee Facebreaker. He quickly goes for a cover, hooking both legs this time. The referee is down right away.
JC: 1…
2…
DR: 2.9 as Sean throws a shoulder off the mat just in the nick of time!
Mears curses the referee, slapping his hands together three times and holding up the same amount of fingers to him. The referee is steadfast though and holds up two before motioning with his own shoulder that Sean kicked out. Sean still looks hurt on the mat, his ribs possibly broken from his missed aerial move earlier and it looks like there’s some blood trickling from his nose and lip too from Mears’ signature move as well. He hoists Sean up back to a vertical base and rams him into the nearest turnbuckle, his shoulder driving hard into his already-injured ribs and it draws a grunt of pain from him. Mears lifts Sean up so he’s perched on the top turnbuckle and he follows him up.
Mears surveys the scene before him, sizing up the crowd and then his opponent. He uses Sean's body to steady himself as he climbs up to the top turnbuckle. But Sean doesn't stay down for long, as he suddenly drives his elbow into Mears's thigh, sending him reeling. With the audience on their feet, Sean hoists Mears into a fireman's carry, but before he can follow through, Mears lands a series of open palm strikes to his temple, leaving Sean stunned. Mears takes advantage of the moment to wriggle free and land back on the top rope. With his hands on Sean's shoulders, Mears leaps into the air, wrapping his legs around Sean's neck in a bid for a Frankensteiner.
But Sean is quick to block him, holding Mears's legs in place. Mears' core strength allows him to pull himself back up and try again, but Sean blocks him once more, attempting to transition into a powerbomb. However, Mears's hammer-fists rain down on Sean's head, leaving him vulnerable. In a swift move, Mears flips Sean 180 degrees with the Frankensteiner, but Sean manages to land perfectly on his feet. The crowd goes wild as Mears stares in disbelief at his opponent who meets his gaze with a piercing stare. With both men back on their feet, the excitement in the arena reaches fever pitch. Mears stands up, determined to take Sean down.
He charges towards him, but Sean quickly strikes him with a jumping back kick to the face, sending Mears reeling. Steadfast, Mears fights through the pain and lands a jumping enziguri to the back of Sean's head. He continues his assault by spinning around and attempting a discus clothesline, but Sean manages to dodge it by lowering his head.
Sean retaliates by delivering a hard kick to Mears's thigh, causing him to fall to one knee. Seizing the opportunity, Sean runs off the ropes and goes for a running knee strike, but Mears leans back to avoid the contact. He then grabs Sean in a waist lock, lifting him into the air and slamming him down onto the back of his head with a massive high-angle German Suplex. The crowd pops for the impressive move as Mears maintains his bridge, showcasing his incredible core strength to keep Sean pinned in place. The referee is there to count
JC: 1…..
2…
DR: Sean is able to break the bridge right as the referee’s hand is coming down for three!
The crowd cheers again. Mears keeps up his attack, sensing the tide is turning in his favor. He grabs Sean’s arm, wrapping his hand around his forearm and grips it tightly and pulls him forward into a series of hard knee strikes that bursts Sean’s lip open. Mears keeps hold of Sean’s arm but stops his knee strikes, seeing the blood dripping down from Sean’s mouth. He looks completely out of it, his mouth open and he’s breathing heavily. Mears looks exhausted too.
They walk towards each other and go into a collar-and-elbow tie-up. However, neither man is able to force their strength on the other such has been the amount of energy they’ve both expended in the match so far. Still the bigger man, Mears is able to just about force Sean into one of the corners. He then bends over, grabbing the two middle ropes either side of him for leverage and rams a series of hard shoulder thrusts into Sean’s abdomen, forcing him to yell out from the force of the impacts.
Sean collapses to his knees in the corner, holding his ribs. Mears runs to the other side of the ring using his foot to spring himself off the second turnbuckle for more momentum and he sprints back but Sean is already back to his feet, leaping through the air takes Mears down with a sleek Sling Blade. He then does a forward flip into a handstand against the rope, using their springiness to launch himself backwards but Mears is able to catch him at the last moment, running towards him at full speed and spikes him with “Head Games”! Sean looks out of it as…
DR: Mears makes the cover!
JC: 1…..
2….
DR: But the referee stops the count!
JC: Sean’s arm is lying under the bottom rope and Mears can’t believe it, he had it won!
DR: Smart move as he drags Sean back to the center of the ring and makes the cover again.
JC: 1….
2…
DR: No! Sean kicks out!
Mears, again, in the spirit of the pay-per-view, is relentless. He grabs Sean’s arm and locks him in a painful-looking Omoplata, stretching and cranking the pressure on him. Sean holds his hand out, hovering it over the canvas but instead of slapping the canvas, he balls his hand into a fist and shakes it vigorously. Then, somehow, Sean manages to stand up, the submission hold still locked but Mears is like a sloth on a tree, wrapped around Sean’s shoulders. Sean is somehow able to muster enough strength to hoist Mears across his shoulder blades in a Fireman’s Carry position he sends Mears over, driving his head and neck into the canvas with a hard Death Valley Driver.
Mears remains motionless on his back. On the other side of the ring, Sean is struggling to catch his breath, using the ropes to pull himself up as he climbs to the top turnbuckle. Like a bird of prey, he perches himself on the top turnbuckle, scanning the ring for his next move. However, before he can make a move, Mears rolls away from him and towards the opposite corner, safely out of harm's way.
Sean can't help but grin as he drops back into the ring, watching Mears catch his breath on the apron. Blood drips down Mears' temple and onto his upper body, but he stands tall, leaning on the turnbuckle for support. Sean charges at him, using the ropes to propel himself forward and launch into the air. But Mears sees him coming and jumps down to the floor at ringside, narrowly avoiding Sean's enziguri.
JC: This may go down as one of the greatest, if not THE greatest match in Madness history. Damon!
DR: These two have more than lived up to the hype!
Mears stands with his back against the ring post, tapping his forehead with another smirk on his face as he wipes the blood away from his temple. He’s a few feet away from the ring when suddenly, Sean sprints across the ring, hurtling towards Mears like a missile. He clears the turnbuckle and soars through the air, executing a Sky Twister Body Press that sends the crowd into a frenzy. The camera even catches the commentary team involuntarily leaping to their feet.
Sean is already back to his feet, not letting Mears rest and he quickly throws him back into the ring. He climbs to the apron, measuring Mears before jumping up, using the top rope to launch himself even further into the air and he torpedoes himself into Mears with “Leap of Faith” (1080 Corkscrew Senton Bomb). Sean again goes over to the corner, hands gripping the top rope and he uses them to slingshot himself up to the turnbuckle.
He measures Mears once more and sails into the air with a picture-perfect Shooting Star Press but right before impact, Mears leaps up and brings his knee up and Sean comes crashing down into them with a makeshift “See My Knee”! Mears transitions into a pinning combination, pushing both of Sean’s legs over his own shoulders, stacking him up and the referee counts:
JC: 1…
2…
DR: But this time Sean forces the near-fall!
JC: And this crowd looks like they’re almost spent of energy with the amount of insane action they’ve witnessed!
Sean remains on his knees, clutching his ribs and taking deep breaths, visibly wincing with each inhale. Oblivious to Mears's calculating gaze, Sean is caught off guard as Mears charges at him with lightning speed, delivering a bone-shattering superkick that sends Sean tumbling through the ropes and crashing onto the hard arena floor below. As Mears regains his footing with the aid of the ropes, he notices Sean struggling to stand up.
Without hesitation, Mears sprints across the ring and launches himself through the ropes, executing a high-flying Topé Suicida. But to Mears's shock, Sean catches him mid-air and hoists him up in a Fireman's Carry position.
It seems as though Sean is about to execute another devastating move, but Mears manages to twist his body and execute a skull-crushing Poisonrana, similar to Sean’s Raidenrana move, sending Sean crashing to the concrete floor. The crowd erupts in cheers as Sean lies motionless, his eyes glazed over. Despite his injuries, Sean manages to pull himself back up to his feet, albeit doubled over. As Mears climbs onto the ring apron, Sean braces himself for impact.
In one fluid motion, Mears catapults himself over the ropes and grabs Sean, slamming him down onto the mat with a Slingshot DDT so forceful that Sean remains suspended in mid-air for a split second before crashing down. Mears rolls him over and the referee counts
JC: 1……
2....
3!
DR: No! The referee looks over and sees Sean Parker has managed to put his foot on the bottom rope to break the count!
Mears collapses on to his front, exhausted and Sean is almost lying on top of himself. The two men turn around to face each other. They’re on all fours now, their foreheads almost touching. They climb up from their knees and begin unleashing a flurry of blows on each other, with no holding back whatsoever. Sean's mouth is gushing with blood, his lip split wide open, while Mears's cut on his temple appears to have reopened. Both men are feeling the effects of their intense physical exertion and the loss of blood. Suddenly, Mears breaks the exchange of punches with a forceful palm strike to Sean's chest, causing blood vessels to burst and a light spray of blood to erupt from his skin. Sean winces in pain, his body tensing up. However, with determination in his eyes, he lets out a loud roar and charges towards Mears, executing a brutal King Kong Lariat that nearly decapitates him.
Thanks to the impact of the lariat, Mears is thrown almost back onto his feet, with the ring ropes acting as his only support to prevent him from falling out of the ring. Despite his attempt to regain balance, Sean takes advantage of the situation and leaps through the air, delivering a powerful blow to Mears's head with a 720 spin culminating in a roundhouse kick. The impact is enough to knock Mears off his feet, sending him crashing face-first onto the mat.
Seizing the momentum, Sean executes a Tiger Driver '91 a move that involves hoisting his opponent high into the air before driving them headfirst into the canvas. But Sean isn't done yet. With the crowd firmly behind him, he hoists Mears up, ready to deliver a second “Helheim Hellfire”. Sean's muscles strain as he lifts Mears high into the air, the anticipation reaching a fever pitch.
However, Mears takes advantage of Sean’s lethargy and fights out, reversing the polarity and lifts Sean high into the air himself and drills him down with a Michinoku Driver! He pulls one of Sean’s legs in for a pin as the referee counts:
JC: 1….
2….
DR: No!
JC: Another nearfall!
Both competitors are visibly fatigued, their bodies showing the toll of this grueling battle. Blood and sweat pours down their faces, and their chests heave with every labored breath. The match has reached its zenith, and the audience is fully aware that they are witnessing something extraordinary. With the match hanging by a thread, Sean ascends to the top rope once more, ready to unleash a 'Leap of Faith' (1080 Twisting Corkscrew Senton). The crowd is on its feet, their anticipation reaching a fever pitch.
Sean takes flight, spinning through the air with grace and precision, ready to put an end to this epic battle. But Mears refuses to go quietly into the night. With an uncanny display of timing, he counters Sean's “Leap of Faith” with a breathtaking “Head Games”. The arena falls into stunned silence as Sean's body crashes to the mat, the impact rattling the very foundation of the ring.
The referee begins the count…
DR: The atmosphere is electric with uncertainty!
JC: 1...
2...
DR: What an astonishing display of heart and willpower!
JC: Sean somehow manages to kick out at the very last possible second, defying all expectations!
The crowd erupts into a frenzy, unable to believe what they've just witnessed. Mears slams the mat before running to one of the corners and he ascends it like he’s just been given an adrenaline shot. With incredible finesse, he leaps off going for Insides Out (Diving Double Foot Stomp). However with one last burst of energy, Sean kips up and spins around, catching Mears coming in with the “Blade of Miquella” Skull Kick. Almost, spent of energy, Sean drapes a solitary arm over Mears’ chest and the referee begins to count:
JC: 1…..
2….
DR: 2.9999! Mears kicks out at the eleventh hour!
Sean is too exhausted to even be surprised and lies on his back. He forces himself back to his feet, dragging Mears up with him. He gives everything he can, pulling Mears into a furious exchange of strikes. The fans are on the edge of their seats, their voices echoing through the arena like a symphony of anticipation. Sean grabs Mears by the arm, spinning him around with a ripcord motion and delivering a thunderous jumping elbow strike to the head with the “Masamune Decapitation” and Mears crumples to the mat, his body twitching from the sheer force of the blow. Sean scrambles, his heart pounding in his chest, and goes for the pin. The referee drops to the mat to make the count.
JC: 1...
2...
DR: In a heart-stopping moment that seems to hang in the balance, Mears!
JC: With every ounce of his resilience and determination, kicks out at the very last possible second!
The crowd erupts into a frenzy of disbelief, their cheers and gasps echoing through the arena. Sean's expression shifts from confidence to disbelief, his eyes widening in shock. He believed he had Mears vanquished. Both men look absolutely spent as they jadedly come back to their feet, blood and sweat glistening in the arena lights. Unbelievably, they begin to tee off on each other again, punches, chops, slaps, palm strikes, elbows. They both rock back-and-forth with the force of each blow, the crowd cheering along with each connection. Both turn away and in perfect synch, turn around and run towards each other at full speed. Sean leaps through the air with a Busaiku Knee at the same time that Mears spins with a Bull Hammer Elbow. Both strikes connect with sickening thuds at the exact same time and they both collapse like two dominos, into a heap, arms over each other and the referee counts:
JC: 1…….
2……
3……!
DR: WHAT!?
Parker and Mears, utterly exhausted, don’t even move on the mat with their arms resting on each other as the referee speaks with the Madness ring announcer and a replay is shown on the X-tron.
DR: What’s the decision!?
JC: I think they pinned each other Damon!
RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has informed me that the result if this match… is a DRAWWWW!
The crowd boos initially while both Mears and Parker begin to slowly make their way to their feet.
JC: These fans… not happy that this incredible match just ended without a decision!
DR: I think it’s clear that these two will just have to go again and see if they can top this one. Jacuinde, I’ve been in this business a long time and I’m not just putting these two over when I say, that this has been one is hands down one of the most incredible matches that I’ve ever witnessed!
JC: Those bos a moment ago… they’re turning to cheers for Mears and Parker!
The two men, exhausted, beaten and battered, get to their feet.
XWF Universe: Thank! You! Parker!
Thank You Mears!
JC: They may not have liked the no decision finish of this contest, but Damon, they sure as hell are showering these two with love, respect and appreciation for the match they just put on!
DR: And it’s well deserved! Fans are stupid, but sometimes they’re right and this is one of those times!
Winner - DRAW
Shake it off by Taylor Swift plays over the public address as the fans greet the theme music of the Barcelona native with loud boos, loud enough almost to drown out the catchy beat of her theme music. As the music blares, soon popping out from the back is Cyrus Braddock, who stands looking as menacing as ever, and within just a few moments, coming out in a bolt of energy is none other than the Fitness Guru herself, Marisol Vilaro, who, despite not winning any of the chances to make it to tonight, still has the widest grin on her face.
JC: Madness is back here on night three of Relentless, and Damon, these fans are about to be given the opportunity to see the most nerve grating woman on the planet!
DR: I resent your tone, Jacuinde! You don’t have to like Marisol Vilaro. You don’t even have to listen to her, but to deny her talents in being hated is akin to being blind to the business.
Dressed in a Vilarowear fit of orange workout shorts and a matching top, her hair lay straight, flowing like a river down her back. The smug fitness guru had something to say, and the world would hear it. She soon poses at the top of the ramp before giving the fans a sarcastic pageant wave in a full obnoxious flare before strutting down to the ring as if she owned the place, taking her position ahead of the massive brute strolling behind her. The CEO of VilaroFit gets into it with several members of the crowd, telling them that they could be a better them by subscribing to the VilaroSystem.
JC: It’s Madness's third night on the show of shows, Damon. On night one, we saw an incredible main event in which Myra Rivers was successful in defending her World Heavyweight title against Penelope!
DR: Just last night, Elijah Copeland made certain that Chris Mosh would not win the Madness grand slam as Enigma became the new United States Champion!
JC: And just a few minutes ago, in what was supposed to be a number one contenders match, we saw Kevin Mears and Sean Parker fight to a double pin sort of draw so, the question remains: who is the number one contender!?
DR: I’m sure Thaddeus Duke has something in mind and that we’ll hear about it when Madness returns in two weeks!
Of course, naturally, that only gets her more hatred, not that she cares, as Cyrus soon grabs hold of Marisol by the side and launches her up gently to the ring apron as she waits for Cyrus to climb up the steel steps and enters the ring before holding down the middle rope, for a more accessible entrance as she struts over to the center of the ring and raises her arms high in the air and twirls about soaking in the adverse reaction from the crowd, she then heads over to the other side away from the camera. She does the same, giving those fans a glimpse of the magnificence that is Marisol Vilaro. Before she heads to the side, demanding a microphone from the stooge mic jockey, she is given one; she then moves to the center of the ring, motioning for her music to be cut, and the fans boo loudly as she keeps a hand on her hip. Giving the fans a cold bitchy look, rolling her eyes, waiting for them to quiet down. After a few moments, her natural obnoxious tone soo overtook the arena.
JC: In case you’ve lived under a rock and need an update, for the last few months, Marisol Vilaro has been badly aiding her friend Summer Page in finding out just who attacked Summer back in May!
DR: The footage of the attack was missing, but the early bets were on Kevin Mears, but that doesn’t seem like the case at all.
JC: Speaking of the missing footage, on last Madness, it was Enigma talking some sense into Summer Page. She’d then find some USB drives in Marisol’s belongings and no one knows if Marisol has yet realized that those drives were gone!
Marisol Vilaro: Now, I know what all of you are thinking. Thank god Marisol Vilaro is here to grace us with her presence because she is who we pay to see, after all, and you’re welcome for that. See, what I am here to do is once again save Madness and the entire XWF, and how do I plan on doing that? Via the fantastic VilaroSystem, but not only that, but I will tell you about my excellent VilaroFit gyms that will soon be nationwide. But we will be opening our first three locations, first in Vero Beach, Then Miami, and finally Tampa, all within the great state of Florida.
The fans boo this whole idea, and the woman in the ring as she laughs smugly at them, soaking in the reaction like a sponge. Her brown eyes gave nothing away as she maintained her gaze toward the crowd.
Marisol Vilaro: I know what all of you are thinking: what will you gain by subscribing to the VilaroSystem? Well, you will gain access to a system designed to help you all become better versions of yourselves. It has helped millions worldwide to reach their goals, and it can help all of you, too. All you simply need to do is subscribe, and with a one-month free trial, you have nothing to lose but your gut and shame. On-screen now are some results.
A series of screenshots of people who have subscribed to the VilaroSystem on the screen from all walks of life and different genders, including Shania, who was one of the most famous VilaroSystem success stories, after her image flashed; the camera cuts back to Marisol, who has the widest grin on her face. Proud of her success, she raised the microphone to her lips and began to speak proudly.
Marisol Vilaro: Now, with all that success on screen, doesn’t that motivate all of you to change your lives for the better?
The fans boo at this loudly, causing Marisol to shake her head at the negative response she was getting, all for just showing the success of the System. However, this doesn’t derail the presentation; instead, the Catalonian woman soon speaks again in a louder tone.
Marisol Vilaro: We can also talk about how many people have benefited from my presence in this sport; look at Chris Mosh. I made that man a world champion and led him to success, but what happened after he got too big for himself? Well, he fell, and guess what? I pinned him! That is right, in Reno, I pinned and beat him, a former world champion. I deserved the spot in the US title match, but what? He can have it, considering he got beat.
But he isn’t the only one to benefit from the gift of Marisol Vilaro. No, next, we have the former XWF Tag Team Champions Emma Couture and Juliana Mendoza, two women I thought the world of it’s a shame things ended the way they did, but I took them from zero tag team titles to three in such a short time. They were on top of the world, but then they cracked; they let their egos get too big, they forgot who they Entrusted in, which led them to success, and then they started hurting my brand, my business, which I can’t have, so yes I had no choice but to terminate our deal and well I wish you ladies well in all future endeavors wherever they make take you we can still be friends.
Marisol does a smug kiss toward the camera and a heart gesture to accompany it. Which, of course, causes boos; while the fans hated the former tag champions, they hated Marisol even more.
Marisol Vilaro: But I want to thank one person who made this all possible. Scratch that; there are two. First, thank my best friend, Yelena Gorgo, who helped me see the light. I thought Mosh was my friend and not a parasite. Also, for giving me the extra capital to start the VilaroFit venture, the second person is ME!
JC: The biggest fan in the world of Maridol Vilaro? Is Marisol Vilaro.
Marisol holds her hand up high in the air giving the fans a sarcastic pageant wave, soaking in the boos. She then placed the microphone up to her lips as she spoke defiantly.
Marisol Vilaro: Since it was me who started VilaroFitness, who created the VilaroSystem, who laid all the foundations in Barcelona, who worked to become a certified personal trainer, who then worked in gyms saving money up to start it, and oh yes, pitched the idea to investors who came on board. Thank me for helping all of you by giving you the System you need, with the tools you need to better yourselves, so what are all of you waiting for? Subscribe now, and you can quit disappointing your parents today!
JC: I have a feeling Damon! That we’re about to get some answers!
DR: If this thing turns physical, I don’t like Summer Page’s odds against Cyrus Braddock and Marisol Vilaro!
JC: Well, we don’t know anything yet!
Summer Page emerges from backstage and stops on the entrance stage. Marisol Vilaro and Cyrus Braddock remain in the ring conversing with each other. If there’s any concern from the two, it isn’t very evident.
As Summer Page stands on the stage, she peers over her shoulder and the mountain of a man known as Enigma emerges from backstage to stand beside Summer.
JC: The new United States Champion! He’s here on night three with Summer!
DR: If this thing gets violent, the sides were just equalized!
Page and Enigma, with his title around his waist, stand on stage. If looks could kill, Cy and Mari are both dead. Behind them, on the X-tron, footage labeled “Back In May” is seen. It shows Summer Page walking backstage at an event with Enigma bringing up the rear. The footage is grainy and not of good quality, but Cyrus Braddock is clearly seen sneaking behind Enigma to bash him in the head to knock him out.
Unbeknownst to Summer Page, Enigma is down and a sitting duck as she turns into her locker room. Marisol Vilaro, standing outside the locker room in the hallway, pulls a ski mask over her face. Carrying a pipe, she enters Summer’s locker room, and takes out Summer’s knee ala Nancy Kerrigan.
The footage cuts out and a hush falls over the crowd as the two duos stare each other down from afar.
JC: I was right all along!
DR: Everyone knew, Jacuinde! The real question was never ‘who’, but ‘why’!
JC: And you can cut the tension inside this facility with a knife!
On stage, Page and Enigma look at each other, nod, then start toward the ring.
JC: Excuse the adage but… BUSINESS IS FIXIN’ TO PICK UP!
As the duo nears the ring, they stop at ringside. Enigma peels off his United States title, folds it up, then lays it on the apron before they climb up and enter the ring.
DR: Who blinks first!?
Cyrus Braddock is the first to move as he throws a hard punch into Enigma’s face that rocks the big man backward.
JC: These two monsters are goin’ at it!
The two big men engage in a slugfest with each successive shot being harder than the lost as they rock each other. Vilaro looks like a deer in the headlights as Page doesn’t take her eyes off of her. The two bodyguards spill to the outside and begin to fight up the ramp leaving Page and Vilaro by their lonesome.
Marisol Vilaro: Summer! Listen! It’s not what it loo…
The fans pop loudly as Page gives Vilaro a double leg takedown. Summer Page follows up by sending hard rights and lefts into Vilaro’s face. On the outside of the ring, Cyrus Braddock and Enigma have disappeared through the entrance way.
Back inside, Vilaro tries to cover up but Summer Page doesn’t give a damn as she sends punches into any exposed area of Marisol’s body. Officials run from the back and into the ring to break it up.
Thaddeus Duke appears on stage wearing jeans and a Sahara t-shirt as the crowd boos the separation of Page from Vilaro.
JC: Here comes the boss!
DR: And he’s sporting a new tattoo on his arm!
Look I wanna see it too, but I’m not about to give it away without hyping that shit up first! So when Madness returns in two weeks, we’re gonna have ourselves a bit of a warm up match with Marisol Vilaro teaming with Cyrus Braddock to take on the new United States Champion Enigma, and Summer Page!
The crowd pops as Marisol Vilaro takes the distraction from Thaddeus Duke’s appearance to quickly escape from the ring and away from Summer Page.
JC: The boss has spoken!
DR: A match already signed for Madness in two weeks!
JC: Madness is only getting better week after week!
DR: Thad knows what he’s doin’, Jacuinde! You think he’s got the following he does, that he’s as popular and as good as he is without knowing what the fans want? He was born into this business and now, he’s doing things from a backstage point of view, giving all these marks a little taste for free, so they dish out their money for tickets and buyrates to get what they really want on pay per view!
JC: He’s definitely no idiot, Damon! But these four will get a piece of each other sooner rather than later as we throw it back now to our colleagues over on the blue brand!
As "Vengeance" by Power Glove begins to play over the PA system, spotlights begin to shine all over the arena of a 'D'. After a moment, XWF XTREME CHAMPION B.O.B. D walks onto the entrance ramp. He puts his arms in the air, before heading down the aisle, focused on the ring. He then walks up the steel steps and climbs into the ring, before walking over to a corner, climbing to the second rope, and putting his arms in the air once again. After that, he hops down and waits.
We see the X-Tron come to life, and we see "John Black" name shot up with the .38 special, and we see him at the stage in a black and white setting as he is standing there taking in the mixed reactions. Then he walks down to the ramp, and he gives them some high fives, then he climbs on the steel steps and enters the ring, and he raises his fist in the air as he pounds his chest around the ring as his theme cuts off.
And as the bell rings, and the distant circles of Hell burn brightly atop brimstone, there’s a sweltering air of tension covering the area. D tries to simply laugh it off and maintain a layer of confidence, but John Black is all business as he stares his opponent down.
HHL: Well, it seems like the arena for tonight isn’t really getting into BOB D’s head at all…
Pip: He’s a consummate professional, Heather! He knows what he’s doing!
HHL: For the sake of his title reign, I’m sure he hopes that you’re right. John Black doesn’t look to be playing around, but we’ll see tonight if he can rise to the occasion in one of the biggest matches of his career.
The two slowly come to the center of the ring, eyeing each other up. It looks like D is going to offer a test of strength, here? Given both wrestlers’ similar weights and levels of strength, it could be a proper struggle. JB thinks it over, before hesitantly bringing an arm up, and-
SLAAAAAAAP!
BOB D just slapped the daylights out of John Black! What a cheap tactic! JB is on his back foot to quickly try and reorient himself, but D isn’t letting his head start go to waste! Some heavy right hands go and rain down on JB’s skull, leaning him against the ropes! Irish Whip now to JB, and he comes back on the return, tries for a clothesline - D ducks and goes behind -
GERMAN SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPLEX! JB gets dropped right on the back of his neck!
D puts the boots quickly to JB, but JB manages to fight his way back to his feet and create some separation with a massive shove!
HHL: Not exactly kosher tactics by BOB D, but he’s going to try everything possible to retain his title here tonight. John Black has to be willing to adapt to the flow of the match, otherwise he’s going to be left behind.
Pip: You know the saying about how all’s fair in love and war, Heather? Well, all’s fair in Extreme Rules matches! Good on D for taking advantage of John Black there! That’s what a champion’s gotta do, down in the… middle of Hell…
HHL: Honesty feels like it’s kind of a big thing in order to stay out of Hell when you do die…
D goes back in to try and go on the assault, but John Black responds with a HUUUUUUUUUGE uppercut! It lands right on the chin as spittle goes flying from D’s mouth! JB looks to go on the assault, but D is quick to roll out of the ring as he checks on the damage inflicted on his poor face! He takes a deep breath, looking over his chin, and…
JOHN BLACK HITS A DIVING DROPKICK FROM THE RING APRON! BOB D GOES FLYING INTO THE BRIMSTONE BARRICADE!
HHL: This certainly didn’t take long to go to the outside of the ring! Now it’s BOB D on the back foot here!
Pip: It’s fine, it’s fine! D is still in the game here!
BOB D is desperately trying to crawl away, but JB won’t let him! He pulls him up by the skull, before laying into him with a HEAVY right hand! He then brings him into a front facelock… SUPLEX RIGHT ON THE BARRICADE! D’s flesh gets singed by the molten-hot brimstone as he yelps and screams!
It doesn’t take long for JB to grab him by the face, and proceeds to drape him over the barricade… DDT on the floor mats! JB’s managed to bring his way back into here out of nowhere!
JB takes a moment now, going under the ring! He rummages around there for a bit, wasting precious seconds as D starts to stir. But JB reveals his prize - a wooden table! He pulls it out from underneath, before walking along ringside and begins the process of setting up the table! He turns around -
BUT BOB D IS UP! AND HE SWINGS A LARGE SACK RIGHT AT JB’S SKULL!
The sack bounces off of JB’s head, and he’s dropped to all fours! A small hole was created from the impact, and out from it leaks… thumbtacks?! D adjusts the bag to prevent any more from leaking out, before he gets a devilish idea! He quickly goes over to the set up table and begins dumping out all the thumbtacks on the table! They cover all of the wood, and then he goes back to John Black!
D brings JB onto the table, and both of them are on top! D goes to hook JB’s arms - OH! But John Black is trying to fight out! He’s not letting D hook the arms! JB pops back upright - kick to D’s gut! JB looks to hoist him up in the air, trying for a Brainbuster! JB goes for the Blacka Jacka!
OH! But D slips out to behind! He’s managed to hook the arms! He’s turning aroooooound-
BIG D DROP RIGHT ON THE THUMBTACKED TABLE!
HHL: JOHN BLACK MIGHT HAVE JUST GOTTEN HIS SKULL CAVED IN AFTER THAT IMPACT!
Pip: That wasn’t an easy bump for Big D either, believe me! Both of those guys just had dozens of little, tiny needles pushing into their skin!
Both men are absolutely writhing in agony from the thumbtacks pushing into their bodies right about now! But they can’t stay like this for long, because there’s a match to win! John Black seems too far out of it, but it’s the perfect time for Big D to try and act! He grabs JB by the back of the neck, and tries to pick him up to roll him in, but JB is too heavy! He’s not wanting to go along!
This little bout of tugging keeps going for a few seconds, before finally D simply says “forget it” and lets go, deciding to go back to the drawing board. He looks properly pissed off now, and he limps his way to underneath the ring again, pulling out… a KENDO STICK! He eyes up JB, makes his mark… AND CRACKS HIM WITH THE STICK!
AGAIN!
AGAIN!
AGAIN!
AGAIN!
AGAIN!
Red welts are popping up all over JB’s body, scarring him and pushing many of the thumbtacks already on his body deeper in! JB is having difficulty defending himself against this absolute onslaught - and the kendo stick breaks in twain!
HHL: Hard to imagine if JB can still fight and continue here. Between the Big D Drop and D absolutely wailing with reckless abandon there, I’d wonder if he’s still even conscious.
Pip: This match is gonna be over in a flash, Heather. D is just way more used to being able to compete on the big stage - especially after joining up with BOB!
D drags JB by the wrist, pulling and prying him over to beside the apron, before hoisting him and rolling him inside. His broken wreck of a body rolls inside, and D quickly follows after, setting him on his back and going for a cover. The referee slides in to count…
OOOOOOOONE!
TWOOOOOOO!
KICKOOOOOOOOUT!
HHL: JOHN BLACK ISN’T OUT YET AFTER ALL!
Pip: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!
AND NEITHER CAN BOB D, WHO LOOKS TO TRY AND CONFIRM THAT COUNT WITH THE REFEREE! THE TWO OF THEM ARE ARGUING NON-STOP! D SLAPS HIS HANDS THREE TIMES, TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO THE REF HOW TO DO HIS JOB! BUT THE REF POINTS SQUARE RIGHT ON D’S CHEST TO TRY AND GET HIM BACK INTO LINE!
BUT D GETS PICKED UP FROM BEHIND!
JOHN BLACK HAS ONE LAST BURST OF STRENGTH TO SPARE!
AND HE HITS THE DEATH VALLEY DRIVERRRRRRRRRRRR!
HHL: BOB D JUST GOT BLACKLISTED! JOHN BLACK IS GOING TO DO IT! JOHN BLACK IS GOING TO WIN THE XTREME CHAMPIONSHIP AGAIN!
Pip: No, no, not like this!
JOHN BLACK LEAPS ON FOR THE COVER!
BUT THE REFEREE GOT KNOCKED OUT FROM BOB D KICKING HIM WHEN HE WAS BEING BROUGHT UP!
HHL: NOOOO! HE’S NOT WINNING IT YET!
Pip: WHAT INTELLECT FROM OUR CHAMPION!
John Black curses and slaps the mat as he sees the ref out cold! He goes to shake them awake, but it’s no use! It’s going to be a long moment before they come to, at least! He rubs his chin frantically, trying to think of something to do, before it hits him!
JB rolls out from the ring one more time and goes underneath, before pulling out… LIGHT TUBES! He’s got about three in his hands, and he throws them into the ring for use! He sets them down on the ground and looks to get D into position, but he’s finally back up! A headbutt stops JB in his tracks, followed by a MASSIVE SPINEBUSTERRRRRR!
JB takes a moment to try to roll to the ropes, but it’s here that BOB D sees the light tubes on the ground! A sadistic smile crosses his face, before he picks one up! He casually twirls it around in his hand, and he eyes up John Black! He goes to swing right for his head-
But JB kicks D right in the thigh just in time to stop him! D stumbles and staggers, clearly not having expected that!
HHL: Smart thinking by John Black to avoid that shot!
Pip: Yes, but can he follow up?
JB manages to get back to his feet, and D tries again! He goes in for the light tube shot - but JB grabs a hold of his wrists! There’s a true test of strength going on in the ring now, and both men are gritting their teeth to try and avoid giving in!
Neither man is moving an inch! Finally, JB sidesteps it while letting go, letting D’s attack whiff! JB goes down and grabs a new light tube of his own, and both men twirl while taking aim-
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
DOUBLE LIGHT TUBE SHOTS AS BOTH MEN FALL TO THE MAT BLEEDING!
HHL: Little hard to see in the ring now with the light tube smoke filling everywhere!
Pip: They just keep beating the holy hell out of each other, Heather!
The referee is surprisingly the first one to his feet, dazed and confused by what the Hell just happened! But BOB D manages to raise his arm, and weakly throws it over the collapsed John Black! The referee hesitantly counts…
OOOOOOOOOOOONE!
TWOOOOOOOOOOOO!
KICKOOOOOOOOOOOOUT!
HHL: HE’S STILL NOT STAYING DOWN!
Pip: Is either of them going to stay down at this rate?!
BOB D manages to get back onto his feet, and weakly pulls JB back up. The two competitors talk a bit of trash to each other, before BOB D slaps JB one more time! He runs the ropes - BUT JB HITS HIM WITH A BOOT TO THE GUT - BRAINBUSTERRRRRRRRRRR!
HHL: JOHN BLACK JUST HIT THE BLACKA JACKA! HE CAN END THIS RIGHT HERE AND NOW IF HE JUST COVERS HIM!
Pip: No, no, no! This can’t be happening!
JOHN BLACK COLLAPSES ONTO ALL FOURS! He’s got so little left in the tank, but he has to grit his teeth and persevere! A long moment passes… before he comes back onto his feet?!
Pip: What the Hell? He’s not covering him?!
HHL: John Black must have one last move in mind if he’s going to do this…
JB pulls BOB D over to the middle of the ring, right over the last light tube! He slowly, painstakingly tried to get BOB D with his head between his legs. If he can just piledrive his head into the light tube below them, JB will HAVE to win!
HE LIFTS!
BUT BOB D SQUIRMS! HE’S NOT LOOKING TO GO DOWN! MORE THAN ANYTHING!
BLACK CAN’T HIT THE UNDERGROUND NOISE! HE SETS BOB D BACK DOWN, WHO COMES BACK TO BEING UPRIGHT! BLACK WITH A KICK TO THE GUT! HE LIFTS HIM UP INSTEAD! TIME FOR PLAN B WITH THE BLACKLISTED!
BUT BOB D SLIPS OUT FROM BEHIND!
AND IT’S A SPLIT SECOND HE NEEDS TO PICK JOHN BLACK FROM BEHIND!
AND
HITS
THE
DAAAAAAAAAAAN SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!
RIGHT ON THE LIGHT TUBE!
HHL: What a miraculous burst of energy by BOB D!
Pip: What are you waiting for?! COVER HIM!
BOB D MANAGES TO HOOK THE LEG AS THE REFEREE COUNTS!
OOOOOOOOOOOONE!
TWOOOOOOOOOOOO!
THREEEEEEEEEEEE!
HHL: WHAT A WAR THAT HAS BEEN WAGED HERE TONIGHT!
WINNER - AND STILL XWF XTREME CHAMPION - B.O.B. D!!
The arena is pitch black and the melancholy opening tunes to “Identity” begin. But as the song starts to pick up in intensity, down in the entry way, you see a Jericho-esque light up jacket glow brilliantly. Then, twin explosions emit from either side of the ramp and the lights turn on in a swirling red and blue pattern that throb in sync with the beats of the song. XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION Corey Smith comes down the ramp, the jacket now flashing intermittent heart and lightning bolt patterns. On the 'Tron you see images of Corey/Lux pulling off fantastic moves, intercut with blur effects on Corey's face that obscure his features in an eerie way.
Corey gets on the ring apron, throwing his arms over the top rope as the jacket keeps flashing. He looks pumped as hell, and starts pointing out at the fans before rushing to the top rope, surveying the crowd from on high, before dropping down to the canvas and handing off his jacket. He paces the ring now, waiting for the match to begin as the music and lighting effects wind down.
PC: “Here he comes! The challenger! The man of the hour! The one who can turn a sweet championship run sour- the one and only THUNDER KNUCKLES! Many fans are predicting the upset tonight on Twitter!”
HHL: “He’s a former tag-team champion, a former TV champion, and a former X-treme champion! He’s done it all in the XWF: except for winning the big one! But I’m not sure ANYONE can take the belt away from Corey Smith right now.”
Twenty demonic midgets- nay, imps- run down the entrance ramp with sparklers in both hands held as high as their little arms can reach. The tiny demons line both sides of the entrance ramp as Thunder Knuckles walks out from behind the Gates of Hell with an arrogant smile emblazoned on his face as he’s bobbing his head back and forth to the music. The demonic sparklers ignite into balls of flame as Thunder Knuckles walks past the midgets, swallowing each and every imp up in a fiery blaze. Once Thunder Knuckles is down to the ring he rolls under the bottom rope and in one movement he pops up to his feet. With his back turned towards the camera, he raises his right fist in defiance. As soon as his fist goes up, counterfeit XBUX with Thunder Knuckles' devilishly good looking face on them fall onto the crowd.
PC: “What a massive entrance for the challenger here tonight! Thunder Knuckles really went all out with these special effects, and the screams of the little people as they exploded were so realistic!”
HHL: “I don’t think those were special effects, Pip. Thunder Knuckles is known as the “orphan-burning bastard” for a reason! He plays deadly games with flames!”
HHL: “And now here comes the REIGNING CHAMPION, COREY SMITH! Does a legend like Corey even ‘need’ an introduction at this point?”
PC: “Corey Smith has been one of the most dominant forces in XWF history for years, but tonight, he might be facing his biggest challenge yet- in a death trap of a match that HE engineered!”
HHL: “Corey has shattered every glass ceiling they’ve put in front of him, so now there’s only one place left to go: DOWN TO THE 10TH LAYER OF HELL!”
The arena is pitch black and the melancholy opening tunes to “Identity” begin. But as the song starts to pick up in intensity, down in the entry way, you see a Jericho-esque light up jacket glow brilliantly. Then, twin explosions emit from either side of the ramp and the lights turn on in a swirling red and blue pattern that throb in sync with the beats of the song. Corey comes down the ramp, the jacket now flashing intermittent heart and lightning bolt patterns. On the 'Tron you see images of Corey/Lux pulling off fantastic moves, intercut with blur effects on Corey's face that obscure his features in an eerie way.
Corey gets on the ring apron, throwing his arms over the top rope as the jacket keeps flashing. He looks pumped as hell, and starts pointing out at the fans before rushing to the top rope, surveying the crowd from on high, before dropping down to the canvas and handing off his jacket. He paces the ring now, waiting for the match to begin as the music and lighting effects wind down.
HHL: “Corey must be furious on the inside right now! I think he’s been looking forward to putting TK through this hell for MONTHS!”
PC: “A fiery stipulation in the middle of Hades itself….I think we all need to strap in tight, because we’re in for a HELL of a match tonight!”
Four cage walls descend from the ceiling, quickly getting fastened to the ring by the production assistants ringside. Inside the ring we see Thunder Knuckles and Corey Smith, each man anxiously pacing in their respective corner. No referees can be seen in the ring, but about a dozen or so referees and paramedics can be seen just outside the ring wearing fireproof attire. Above the ring, 20 suitcases hang down from the rafters. After a little bit of fidgeting the production assistants light the flames and all four cage walls burst into an inferno. The sweltering heat from the cage walls becomes quickly evident as all the ringside attendants begin profusely sweating through their clothing. Two ladders stand tall in the middle of the ring, ready to be climbed and repositioned at will.
HHL: “Corey must be insane to come up with a stipulation like this! I’m not sure EITHER of these men will make it out of here alive tonight!”
PC: “No wonder none of the referees wanted to get inside that ring tonight! I can feel the immense heat coming off the cage walls from my chair!”
DING! DING! DING!
The bell is rung by the ringside assistant, who is dressed in fully fireproof regalia. The crowd is immediately at a fever pitch as Corey Smith and Thunder Knuckles take a few moments at the beginning of the match to get used to their new surroundings. Corey Smith stares into the raging flames with a sick smile on his face, as if he had been looking forward to this exact moment all day. Thunder Knuckles, meanwhile, looks towards the cage walls with complete and utter disdain: the challenger already seems tired of this sweltering furnace.
PC: “Thunder Knuckles doesn’t look thrilled to be in there, and I can’t blame him! That ring itself could catch on fire at any moment!”
HHL: “All he has to do is grab the right briefcase to end the match- if Thunder Knuckles plays his cards right, this match could theoretically be over in just a few minutes!”
Thunder Knuckles starts moving towards Corey Smith, who looks between TK and the fire with a wicked grin on his face. Thunder Knuckles reaches the center of the ring before Corey Smith even leaves his corner. TK calls out to Corey to ‘be a man’ and come do some proper fisticuffs, but Corey just chuckles before taking another minute to admire the raging inferno surrounding them.
HHL: “I think something might have broken inside Corey’s head. He seems transfixed by these flames!”
PC: “Maybe he’s remembering all those orphans he let burn!”
HHL: “‘Let burn’?”
PC: “You know….when TK was testing the fire alarm systems at Coreytopia!”
TK flips off Corey Smith, pulling a full double-bird, but Corey just scoffs at him in response. TK calls the champion a slur that gets bleeped by standards and practices before TK hurriedly climbs up one of the two ladders, clearly expecting Corey to chase him: the champion, however, remains in his corner.
PC: “I think you might be right, Heather! I think Corey really has lost it! He’s just letting Thunder Knuckles climb up the ladder, even though we KNOW the championship belt is hanging up in a briefcase!”
HHL: “‘Wait a second….I think Corey has a plan here….”
Thunder Knuckles rushes up the ladder and grabs the first briefcase he sees, completely unaware that Corey Smith isn’t giving chase.
PC: “And Thunder Knuckles pulls down the first briefcase! This could be it! The match could be over right here!”
Thunder Knuckles grabs the briefcase and clutches it to his chest before finally realizing Corey Smith is now just meandering around the ring. TK shouts something crude at Corey, causing Corey to look up at him just in time to see TK finally open the briefcase…but when TK pulls out the placard inside the case, his jaw drops.
PC: “Wait…does that say…”
HHL: “PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE NUTS RIGHT NOW OR FORFEIT THE MATCH!”
Corey Smith looks up at TK impatiently, tapping his foot on the mat. TK looks back at the placard, confirming what it says before swallowing his pride and eventually delivering a nasty left hook right to his gonads. TK wheezes in pain before falling off the ladder, dropping down to the ground like a fat sack of bricks. Corey chuckles to himself as the crowd gasps in shock.
PC: “This is sick and twisted!”
HHL: “TK might have twisted his testicles after that drop!”
Corey Smith hurries over to TK before dropping down to the mat near him, but instead of laying in some vicious blows, Corey Smith instead delivers some vicious whispers. Corey mocks and derides TK before standing up and backing off. TK, clearly infuriated, pounds the mat before pushing himself up to his feet with anger.
PC: “Whatever Corey said, it looks to have gotten under Thunder Knuckles’ skin!”
HHL: “It’s about time someone got under TK’s skin! He’s only been doing it to others for years!”
TK cusses out Corey Smith before darting up the other ladder, hurriedly climbing to the top while Corey Smith just crosses his arms and shakes his head.
PC: “There are now only 19 unopened briefcases left hanging above the ring- and any one of them could contain the championship belt!”
HHL: “But every briefcase is more likely to contain some sort of sick and twisted challenge! This could get really brutal before the night is over!”
PC: “That is, unless one of these competitors is greeted with a challenge they don’t have the stomach to face! If a challenge goes too far, either wrestler could simply forfeit the match instead!”
HHL: “I have a strong feeling that kind of cowardice won’t be on display tonight, Pip! After all, the biggest prize in all of sports entertainment is on the line in this one! These men would do ANYTHING to walk away from this hellscape with the Universal championship!”
TK reaches the top of the ladder and grabs the nearest briefcase, quickly pulling it down and opening it. The camera zooms in on the placard inside the briefcase.
HHL: “CUT YOUR FOREHEAD OR FORFEIT THE MATCH!”
PC: “And here comes the blood!
The camera then pans to a shiny blade taped inside the case. The camera zooms back out as TK shrugs before taking the blade out of the case. He looks down to Corey Smith and flips him off with his free hand while he drives the blade across his forehead, spilling thick blood down his skull.
HHL: “I think TK might be overdoing it on the blade job here! He’s going in deeper and going further than he has to!”
PC: “TK’s going in deeper and going further than he has to? THAT’S WHAT HE DOES, HEATHER! I think TK is sending a message to the champion right now, I mean, just look at how he’s staring him down!”
Sure enough, TK is still cutting his forehead with the blade while flipping off the champion. Blood oozes down TK’s face as he stares daggers at Corey Smith. After a few more seconds TK finally lets out a pained ‘FUCK!’ before he tucks the blade into his pants pocket and begins wiping the seeping blood away from his eyes.
PC: “It looks like Thunder Knuckles is saving that blade for later: smart man!”
HHL: “But his face looks like a war crime now! I’m not sure how ‘smart’ he really is, Pip!”
Thunder Knuckles finally wipes enough blood away from his eyes for him to search for another briefcase. Within a few pained seconds the challenger is able to locate one of the 18 unopened cases hanging above the ring. TK grabs the case and pulls it close to his chest before he pops open the lock and reveals the challenge inside.
HHL: “SWALLOW THIS PILL OR FORFEIT THE MATCH…huh….maybe it’s just an aspirin?”
PC: “Swallow this pill?! Ha! Thunder Knuckles has been taking AND SELLING drugs since he was a mere child, this one will be easy for him- with or without water!”
Thunder Knuckles just laughs at the placard as the camera zooms in on the pill. It’s a square white tablet that reads ‘1000 mg’, with a skull-and-crossbones etched onto the tablet. The camera zooms back out as TK throws the pills into the back of his throat and quickly swallows it down.
Thunder Knuckles quickly sets to work looking for another briefcase as he lets the open case go back to hanging above the ring. Within mere moments TK has another briefcase close to his chest, but unbeknownst to him, Corey Smith is now standing at the leg of the ladder! Just before TK is able to open the case, Corey Smith pushes the ladder over! The ladder falls flat against the mat, but TK remains high in the air, clinging to the briefcase for dear life!
But that only lasts a couple seconds.
Because the wires holding up the briefcases weren’t designed to hold 260 pounds of Lima beef.
SNAP!
The wire breaks as TK and the briefcase he’s clutching fall all the way down to the mat!
PC: “That’s the kind of fall that can end a career- or even a life! Someone needs to check and make sure Thunder Knuckles is able to continue!”
HHL: “Well who’s going to do that, Pip? Corey Smith? Remember- all the referees are outside the ring, far away, locked behind the flaming cage walls!”
Corey Smith just smiles as the crowd gasps in horror. Thunder Knuckles lands flat on the mat, smartly tucking his chin, but he loses hold of the briefcase in the process. Corey Smith walks right over to the briefcase and picks it up, showing it off to the crowd for a few moments before he looks down at the briefcase with an inquisitive eye.
HHL: “There’s still 17 briefcases left, and that means there’s roughly a 5% chance that the championship belt is in that briefcase. Those aren’t good odds!”
PC: “But Corey Smith has no way of knowing which briefcase is which, unless he’s a dirty cheater!”
HHL: “Or is there a way to tell…”
Corey Smith holds the fallen briefcase up to his ear and shakes it around. A look of growing dissatisfaction spreads across the champion’s face.
HHL: “Corey doesn’t think the belt is in that briefcase!”
PC: “So what’s he going to do with it?”
HHL: “I think the champion has an idea, Pip!”
TK is finally stirring from his nasty fall, with a crimson mask coating his face. The BOB loyalist slowly steps to his feet, being watched closely every step of the way by Corey Smith. When TK reaches his feet he turns around and-WHAM! He gets smacked right in the face by the fallen briefcase! TK’s crimson mask grows more vibrant as he falls to the ground once more. Corey Smith disrespectfully throws the briefcase down atop TK’s body before he starts making his merry way towards the only ladder left standing.
HHL: “Corey is going about this match the smart way, and so far, it’s paying off! Thunder Knuckles has taken all sorts of damage, and Corey Smith might well walk away as the universal champion right here! He’s just one briefcase away!”
PC: “If he gets the briefcase on his first attempt, I swear everyone is going to accuse him of having rigged this match!”
HHL: “Rigged the match? Come on! It might just be easy to tell what’s inside a briefcase: after all, a pill and a razorblade feel nothing like a championship belt!”
As Corey Smith begins ascending the ladder, Thunder Knuckles- who is still lying prone on the mat- opens up the briefcase that Corey Smith so rudely threw on top of him. The camera quickly cuts to a shot of the challenge card inside the case, showcasing to the audience exactly what Corey Smith passed up on.
HHL: “SPRAY YOUR EYES OR FORFEIT THE MATCH!”
The camera pans in on a can of pepper spray so conveniently placed inside the case. TK groans before reluctantly reaching in and retrieving the spray. TK looks to the hardcam with crimson anguish before spraying the smallest amount of pepper spray possible into his eyes- yet still, TK begins immediately squirming and writhing around on the ground in pain. Corey Smith takes a short break from climbing the ladder to look down at Thunder Knuckles, smiling with pure satisfaction as he watches the bastard suffer.
HHL: “I’ve never seen Corey Smith take so much joy in someone’s suffering before!”
PC: “Thunder Knuckles has done things to Corey Smith, he’s made this match so personal- I’m not surprised that Corey Smith has been pushed to the brink like this!”
With a smirk, Corey continues ascending the ladder and quickly reaches the top. He scouts around for a briefcase and pulls it close to him. The champion inspects the briefcase visually before shaking it around lightly, trying to deduce what exactly could be inside of it. A look of mixed confusion washes across Corey’s face and he considers opening the briefcase before deciding better of it. Instead, Corey relinquishes that case in favor of pulling down another case near him.
HHL: “Corey is being precise with his actions here tonight, he knows most of those briefcases are complete losers, and he doesn’t want to subject himself to any unnecessary damage!”
PC: “The longer he stalls, the more time his opponent has to recover! He needs to remember that!”
Corey repeats the process with another briefcase before deciding more definitively to throw that one to the side. He then goes back to fiddling with the original briefcase…but by now, a bloody mad Thunder Knuckles has risen to his feet! Before Corey has the chance to open the briefcase he so meticulously scouted, TK throws the bottle of pepper spray right at his nuts! The champion groans in pain as he hunches over on top of the ladder. His chosen briefcase swings above the air just out of reach.
PC: “All that scouting for nothing! Corey just wasted a bunch of time and let his opponent recover!”
HHL: “It might not be all for naught, Pip! Corey just has to remember which briefcase gave him the good tingles!”
As Corey groans in pain atop the ladder, TK grabs the ladder by its legs and begins shaking it. Corey looks up frantically, realizing he’s in trouble. Corey tries to descend the ladder, moving down a couple rungs- but the ladder starts tipping over before he can make it down safely! TK screams out a slew of expletives as he pushes the ladder over, causing Corey to tumble to the mat!
PC: “I’m not sure Corey’s going to remember ANYTHING after that nasty spill, Heather!”
When Corey hits the ground TK wastes no time jumping atop him. TK drops an elbow on the champion before quickly mounting him, delivering a few more big elbows to Corey’s face for good measure. Corey squirms around and uses his arms defensively, stopping TK from landing any more decisive blows. Growing impatient, Thunder Knuckles resorts to dirty tricks. TK grabs Corey Smith’s fingers and begins twisting them every which way, causing the champion to scream in pain. The referees outside the ring look on through the flames, helpless to intervene. The champion’s fingers sound like rice krispies as they SNAP, CRACKLE, AND POP out of place!
Corey Smith writhes around in pain beneath Thunder Knuckles, desperately trying to buck off the much larger man. Unperturbed, Thunder Knuckles just laughs in delight as he lets go of Corey’s deformed fingers and begins delivering more vicious elbows to the temple of the downed champion.
PC: “The championship belt is hanging somewhere up high above the ring, but Thunder Knuckles has brought this fight to the mat! He’s using every ace up his sleeve and every trick he’s learned to take the advantage in this one!”
HHL: “Thunder Knuckles knows he’s outclassed in this match, so he’s just trying to break Corey’s fingers to stop him from opening any briefcases! This is hard to watch! What levels of desperation will this bastard stoop to?!”
PC: “For the universal championship, Heather? That bastard will go as low as he needs to go!”
Corey Smith is eventually able to twist his body around, turning over to his stomach so as to shield his face better from the incoming blows. The crimson-faced TK smiles at this turn of events, taking a quick break from his assault to reach into his pocket and pull out a familiar blade!
PC: “That’s the blade that TK snatched from the briefcase earlier! He knew it would come in handy later!”
HHL: “Sharing bloody utensils…isn’t that how disease spreads?! This match could get lethal in a variety of ways!”
As TK reaches into his pocket, the blood coursing down his forehead is getting noticeably thinner. The red ooze seeps out of the bloody line in TK’s forehead with more speed and veracity than ever, completely coating his face. TK’s breathing becomes noticeably shallow and more labored as his chest heaves up and down heavily. Nonetheless, TK grabs Corey Smith by the back of his head, pulling his hair as he tries to reveal the champion’s forehead. With a shaky hand, TK brings the blade down and tries to press it against the struggling champion’s flesh.
PC: “Wait, something seems to be wrong with Thunder Knuckles!”
HHL: “Maybe Thunder Knuckles just can’t handle a match of this caliber, Pip! He’s out of shape and in the deep end way above his head, just like Corey Smith has been saying all week long!”
Corey Smith bats the blade out of TK’s hand with relative ease, preventing Thunder Knuckles from inflicting the same vicious torture to his forehead. Corey is then able to shove TK off of him, forcing TK to take several steps back. As Corey scrambles up to his feet, TK places a hand on his stomach as he keels over in pain. Then, TK’s mouth flies open as he spews a nasty stream of bile right into the flames of the nearest cage wall! The vomit explodes as it makes contact with the inferno, releasing a stench most foul all across the arena!
PC: “TK looks he’s been drugged!”
HHL: “He WAS drugged, Pip! Don’t you remember what was in his third briefcase? Thunder Knuckles took that mysterious pill, and now, it looks like it’s taking effect!”
Thunder Knuckles wipes all the un-exploded vomit off of his mouth before turning around to look for Corey Smith. Dazed and confused, Thunder Knuckles blinks rapidly as he reaches out furiously: at the empty space just to the left of Corey Smith.
PC: “I think Thunder Knuckles might be seeing double right now!”
Corey rolls his eyes and laughs at Thunder Knuckles, angering the bloody man even further. TK lashes out with a vicious haymaker that would put any man to sleep: but he delivers it just to the right of a giddy Smith.
HHL: “That bastard might be seeing triples right now!”
TK wobbles around on his feet, looking like he’s about to spew more chunks all over the ring. TK’s mouth opens up as if to spew, but his mouth closes just as quickly as Corey Smith delivers a standing axe kick to his face! TK swallows back his vomit as he’s forced to take several steps back: RIGHT INTO THE FLAMES OF THE CAGE!
TK’s back is singed slightly, causing him to yelp loudly before darting forward a couple of steps. The brush-in with the inferno wall seems to have snapped TK out of his medical ailment, as he looks right at Corey Smith with the fury of a thousand infernos burning behind his eyes! Corey laughs at Thunder Knuckles, AGAIN, drawing even MORE ire from the challenger!
HHL: “Going into this match some people said Thunder Knuckles had gotten inside the champion’s head, but here tonight it’s been the champion playing all the mind games!”
PC: “But Thunder Knuckles is still ahead on the scoreboard, Heather! He’s up 4 briefcases to none!”
HHL: “That’s literally another point in Corey’s favor. You do understand that, right?”
PC: “Nope!”
Corey Smith raises his arms into a defensive posture as Thunder Knuckles advances upon him once more. The reigning champion looks relatively unharmed so far, minus the horrendous condition of his fingers: but his opponent’s body already tells a completely different story. TK’s face is dripping with scarlet ichor, but some of the blood is congealing with the pepper spray and sticking to his face. The challenger’s back has been lightly burned and the hair on his neck is missing. Even still, the challenger pushes forward- locking up with the champion square in the center of the ring! The two wrestlers tie up and begin pushing each other back and forth in the classic test of strength. Everyone in the crowd is standing in attention as the two men vie for dominance. Initially Thunder Knuckles gains the advantage due to his overwhelming size, but within mere moments Corey Smith turns it around before locking in a headlock on TK.
HHL: “Usually Corey wouldn’t want to lock horns directly with a larger opponent, but after tricking Thunder Knuckles into opening so many briefcases, Corey was able to get an overwhelming physical advantage! I think the champion’s devilish plan might be working, Pip!”
Thunder Knuckles screams in anguish as Corey Smith cranks up the pressure on the headlock. TK reaches around Corey’s waist, as if to lift him up for a suplex to break the hold- but the wiley Smith sees the counter coming from a mile away, and counters the counter with a counter of his own! Corey lets go of the headlock to grab TK’s arm as soon as it’s directly exposed, and then he brings TK crashing down to the mat with an arm drag!
HHL: “What a technically display of excellence from the Universal champion!”
PC: “But that doesn’t matter, Heather! Not in this match! All that matters is who comes away with the lucky briefcase, and there’s still 16 unopened briefcases up there!”
TK quickly scurries back to his feet as he recovers from the arm drag. TK rushes at Corey Smith once again, anticipating another lock-up, but Corey Smith instead drops to the mat for a leg sweep that completely buckles TK’s knees! TK falls to the mat- landing jawfirst against one of the prone ladders laying on the canvas!
PC: “Ouch! That landing bites!”
TK lays flat with his head against the ladder for a moment, either briefly KOed or taking a few seconds to recover. Either way Corey Smith is on him in a heartbeat. The champion grabs TK by the charred scruff of his burned neck before he begins slamming TK’s face into the ladder repeatedly. TK’s bloody mask grows even wider as the gash on his forehead is opened up from every angle. After Corey Smith decides enough is enough, he tosses TK’s head away from the ladder with a satisfied smirk. Then, Corey goes to work setting up that blood-stained ladder to get a briefcase.
HHL: “Corey Smith has taken complete control of this match! He has navigated his chosen stipulation expertly, and shown everyone why he’s one of the best to ever do it! If he pulls down the magic briefcase right now, I’m not even sure you can say it was luck Pip! What we’ve seen here tonight was GREAT gameplanning!”
PC: “You can’t put the cart before the horse, especially not in a crazy batshit match like this! We have to see what the briefcases have in store!”
Corey Smith sets up the ladder and takes another quick gander at Thunder Knuckles, who is laying on the mat struggling to get up. Corey nods to himself before he starts climbing the ladder. Within a few seconds Corey has reached the peak and starts trying to decide which briefcase to grab.
HHL: “Last time Corey was up on the ladder he took too long to open a briefcase and he paid the price for it. Let’s see if he’s quicker this time!”
[white]PC: “Corey’s trying to play it smart, but there’s nothing smart about what’s in 95% of those briefcases!”
With a heavy sigh and a hopeful heart, Corey grabs a briefcase out of the sky and tries to open it excitedly: until he’s reminded of the shooting pain in his fingers. The camera zooms in on Corey’s broken and twisted fingers fidgeting with the locks on the case. It looks grotesque, far worse than you’re imagining!
HHL: “Corey’s fingers were completely mauled by that Bastard earlier in the match! It’s one of the only good licks Thunder Knuckles has gotten in!”
PC: “Well…it’s a good thing Corey doesn’t have any girlfriends to finger after this match!”
After a great deal of time, Corey’s twisted fingers are finally able to finesse the fidget keeping the briefcase closed. The camera zooms out just in time to capture Coreye’s horrified expression when opens the briefcase. Corey’s heart sinks as the camera zooms in on the special stipulation written on a placard.
HHL: “TASTE THE FLAMES OR LOSE THE MATCH!”
PC: “Ta-taste the flames…what does that mean?!”
HHL: “I think you know what it means, Pip! Corey has to lick the cage walls, or else he has to give up his championship belt!”
PC: “Corey’s tongue might be his most valuable asset! And he did this to himself!”
Corey looks down and sees that Thunder Knuckles is slowly stirring. The champion shakes his head in frustration before hurrying down the ladder. With barely any hesitation at all Corey Smith approaches the flaming wall furthest away from Thunder Knuckles. He sticks his tongue out and closes his eyes.
The camera zooms in to catch a close-up of Corey’s wet tongue slithering out between his lips.
Then, the pink flesh touches the flickering flames.
HHL: “OH MY GOD!”
The crowd gasps in horror as Corey Smith immediately drops to the ground and begins rolling around while covering his mouth with both hands. Muffled screams of pain can be heard throughout the arena as the champion flails and flounders in an anguish of his own design.
PC: “This is sick, sick and twisted! I LOVE IT!”
HHL: “This is the kind of match it will take multiple reconstructive surgeries to recover from, BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID TO YOURSELF! This goes to show you how far the greatest wrestlers in the world are willing to go to hold onto that XWF championship belt!”
PC: “Corey Smith’s championship reign has put the ‘X-TREME’ back into the XWF with this match, that’s for damn sure!”
As Corey slams his feet into the mat and covers his mouth in pain, Thunder Knuckles slowly rises back to his feet. The crowd pops as the challenger returns to a standing position, covered in his crimson mask. Thunder Knuckles wipes some of the fresh blood away from his eyes before he looks down at the wounded Corey Smith. TK takes a step towards Corey before stopping in his tracks, thinking better of it.
PC: “What’s Thunder Knuckles doing? This is his chance to lay the smack down on Corey Smith and get some serious payback!”
HHL: “But beating up your opponent isn’t how you win this match, Pip! Beating up YOURSELF is the only sureway!”
Fighting against every instinct in his body, TK leaves his vulnerable opponent alone. Instead, the challenger begins ascending the ladder Corey had set up in the center of the ring. TK takes his sweet time getting to the top of the ladder, having a hard time placing his hands on the rungs given how much blood keeps dripping down his forehead. Yet still, the bastard is able to ascend the ladder as the champion thrashes in torment on the mat. Thunder Knuckles reaches out for the nearest briefcase, but he has a hard time getting a hold of it. The blood dripping into his eyes makes it hard to see, and the blood now coating his fingertips makes it hard to grab anything!
PC: “Thunder Knuckles is really struggling up there! He’s going to have to work faster if he wants to make the most of this opportunity!”
After some more time Thunder Knuckles is finally able to get his bloody mitts on a case. The bastard pulls the briefcase in close before he opens it up to reveal the devilish stipulation inside.
HHL: “WEAR THIS SHOCK COLLAR OR LOSE THE MATCH!”
PC: “A shock collar?! Who’s in charge of administering the shocks, Satan himself?!”
Thunder Knuckles wastes no time in wrapping the shock collar around his neck. As soon as he does so, he’s greeted with a huge shot of electricity to the neck. All of TK’s hair stands up as he begins twitching and seizing atop the ladder, hanging on for dear life as more and more rounds of electric shock are pumped through his system.
PC: JESUS, THAT’S ENOUGH ALREADY! How long does he have to wear that thing for?!”
HHL: “It seems like the rest of the match!”
PC: “And how much is it going to shock him?!”
HHL: “Great question!”
Eventually the shocking seems to subside, and TK takes solace in that fact: until he notices that Corey Smith is finally recovering from his burnt tongue! TK rushes to grab another briefcase, quickly opening it up to reveal yet another tortuous stipulation to the audience.
HHL: “SMASH YOUR HEAD FACE-FIRST INTO THE LADDER OR LOSE THE MATCH!”
PC: “Well that’s not too bad, all things considered! It could’ve been something way worse- in fact, I bet the next one IS going to be WAY WORSE!”
Thunder Knuckles has to wipe the blood away from his eyes in order to read the placard, but as soon as he does he follows through. The bastard slams his own face right into the top of the ladder, smearing his blood all over it and knocking himself loopy in the process. Corey Smith, meanwhile, is now ascending the other side of the ladder! TK shakes his head from side to side, probably trying to get the cobwebs out before he’s face-to-face with the champion!
HHL: “Corey Smith is about to be face-to-face with Thunder Knuckles on top of the ladder!”
PC: “This is where the danger happens Heather, up high! One wrong fall and your neck can snap into a dozen pieces! I’ve seen careers end like this!”
HHL: “We might see another one end like that tonight! These wrestlers are giving each other, AND THEMSELVES, everything they have here tonight- all because they want to walk away with that championship belt!”
The crowd pops, growing to a deafening crescendo as Corey Smith finally reaches the top of the ladder and comes eye-to-bloody-and-peppersprayed-eye with TK. Thunder Knuckles spits blood into the face of Corey Smith before he headbutts the champion, knocking both men silly for a moment. TK and Corey both have to brace themselves against the ladder to avoid falling.
PC: “What a nasty headbutt from Thunder Knuckles! If Corey didn’t have a concussion yet, he sure does now!”
HHL: “But that move might’ve done more damage to Thunder Knuckles than anyone! He’s already taken so much damage to the head tonight, I’m not sure that headbutt was a wise decision!”
TK and Corey booth look woozy, but seem to recover at the same time. TK lashes out with a wild punch that misses, leaving him wide-open to a counter! Corey smacks TK with the back of his open hand, causing TK to wobble and shake atop the ladder. Corey then grabs TK's face and slams it into the ladder. TK tries to resist, but his energy is too spent, and Corey still has so much left in the tank! Corey waves away TK's defenses before slamming his hands against both of TK's ears. With a grip on his head, TK's hands instinctively fly upwards. That's when Corey wisely lets go of TK's ahead, and instead pushes TK in the chest! TK slips and falls off the ladder, tumbling harshly to the mat!
Sensing his opportunity, Corey reaches into the air from atop the ladder. The champion starts fiddling with a few different briefcases before finally settling on one. Corey opens the briefcase, but his face goes deathly white when be sees the stipulation.
HHL: "LICK UP YOUR OPPONENT'S BLOOD OR LOSE THE MATCH!"
PC: "I told you the next stipulation could be worse, Heather- and like always, I was right!"
Corey Smith seems to have more trouble with this stipulation than any other. After a few moments of thinking and hesitating, a ghastly white Corey Smith eventually leans down and sticks his burnt tongue out towards the ladder coated with TK's blood. The crowd lets out a collective 'ewwww' as Corey shudders at the taste.
After taking some time to recollect himself from the horror of licking up TK's blood, Corey reaches out for another briefcase. The champion pulls down the case and opens it up, revealing the placard tucked alongside a special tool- namely, a staplegun.
HHL: "SHOOT SIX STAPLES INTO YOUR HEAD OR FORFEIT THE MATCH!"
Corey grabs the staplegun with no hesitation whatsoever. He staples three times into one side of his head and three times into the other side of his head before he returns the now empty staplegun to the briefcase and pushes it away into the air.
HHL: "Corey is a brilliant tactician! He probably put those staples into the side of his head instead of the front because he didn't want his vision or breathing impaired by a crimson mask!"
Corey quickly reaches out for yet another briefcase and pulls it down, clearly willing to do whatever it takes to retain his title.
HHL: “DIVE FACE-FIRST INTO THE MAT OR LOSE THE MATCH!”
PC: “Just when you think this match can’t get any more insane! What kind of a madman came up with these stipulations? The devil himself?! Landing on your neck from that height will kill you!”
HHL: “The devil is trying to collect some championship souls tonight, Pip!”
Corey sighs begrudgingly before following the task, suicide diving to the mat. The crowd ooohs and aaahs in amazement before cringing in horror as he champion lands on the mat.
An uncomfortable amount of time passes before either man stirs, but then, the suddenly both come to some semblance of life at the same time. The pair stumble to their feet meeting each other in a stare down as the crowd roars.
Corey tries to Surprise Throat Punch TK, but TK knows all about Corey Smith’s tricks and forces him into a Test of Strength. Back and forth the two mean duel in the Test of Strength. Until TK gets the upper hand by kicking Corey in the gut. The champion falls to the ground in pain and TK stands over him. TK grabs his ankle for the Thunder Strike, but and Corey kicks out of the danger he finds himself in. TK gets back to his feet, and turns around as Corey goes for a Spinning Back Kick to the head! TK dodges the kick by slightly moving his head backward two inches. Corey looks in shock as TK grins and grumbles one word.
Telegraphed.
TK reaches out and grabs Corey's extended foot by the ankle. A confused look of shock and horror spreads across the champions face as he realizes he's been caught out of position. Corey tries frantically to tug his extended leg free, but it's no use! TK's grab is ironclad! Then, a big smirk spreads across the bastards face.
Thunder Knuckles drops to his back while holding Corey's ankle, delivering an extremely rare STANDING THUNDER STRIKE! Corey seems to be knocked completely unconscious from the force of the blow! Upon a close examination of the replay, it looks possible that Corey's knee may have just blown out!
PC: "The foot DDT! The foot DDT! How can you recover from a devastating move like that?!"
TK rolls back to a standing position before he wipes the crimson mask off his face one more time. TK looks down at the seemingly KOed Corey Smith with a jolly grin before he ascends the ladder once more. When TK reaches the top of the ladder he pauses, closing his eyes and clasping his hands together.
HHL: "What's Thunder Knuckles doing up there? Is he so far gone in this match that he forgot he needs to grab a briefcase?!"
PC: "I think he's praying to the Bastardly Father for good fortune!"
HHL: "OH yeah….I forgot how stupid and superstitious the Brotherhood was."
TK opens his eyes and breathes deeply before reaching out for a briefcase at random. TK grabs the case and opens it up…
REVEALING THE XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP BELT!
Winner AND NEW XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION - THUNDER KNUCKLES!!!!
Corey and TK lie in the middle of the ring, TKs music blaring through hell's ethereal sound system and the roar of the crowd being blocked out by their mutual hearts pounding in their heads.
The flames of hell flash a yellow and red, turning up the temperature around the two competitors, as TK clutches to HIS Universal Championship with his dear life. What looks like devilish confetti, little horns and tails fill the area, covering the two and the thousands in attendance.
HHL: I can't believe he's done it. Thunder Knuckles…
PIP: IS OUR NEW UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!
A severely underpaid referee skirts around the various firey potholes and get to the still flaming ring. With welders gloves on, he gingerly unlocks the molten red door and skips his way inside. Slipping through the ropes he stands by Thunder Knuckles and motions for him to get up.
Corey, in a mixed pool of blood, is breathing heavily and is the first to stir from his position staring at Hell's... sky? He looks dazed, eyes still on the hanging briefcases, searching for his title knowing full well it's lying in the arms of his opponent.
A snarl erupts from his mouth as he realises he's lost. Turning in a rage, he goes to stalk after TK, who's just been helped to his own feet by the referee, still clutching onto his belt.
HHL: Looks like we're not quite done here!
PIP: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.
Corey stops inches from TKs face, breathing heavily and glaring up at the larger man. TK stares right back at him, before slowly raising the Universal Championship over his head to the thunderous cheer of the crowd.
HHL: WHAT A BAMF!
PIP: UH...
TK manages a weak smile back at Corey.
TK: It's you that belongs in the Tenth Circle... Cor'.
The crowd cheers, before breaking into a communal gasp! Corey looks ready to pounce at TK just as his eyes widen, like a cat. TK clocks the shift and drops to mat as lightning fast... Sword? Comes flying from behind his head, missing TK by an inch and slamming right into Corey's forehead.
More blood.
Lots of blood.
Corey drops to the mat limp, as his attacker comes into the spotlight.
Isaiah King: Fuck!
Thunder Knuckles rolls out of the ring, clutching his belt and breathing heavily. His eyes are wide as he sees Isaiah standing over Corey in the middle of the ring.
Isaiah King: You slimy son of a bitch, you thought you could take that belt.. a belt that wasn't even Corey's to lose and what... Celebrate? Your clock started ticking last week Knuck, I was going to murder you before you became Champ, now that trophies just going to be a little shinier. Tick… Tock.
Thunder Knuckles glares at Isaiah, but is quickly walking backwards, back to wherever the hell, hells locker rooms are. The crowd is split, mostly booing Isaiah but a spatter of cheers for the Kingslayer can be heard.
Isaiah King: Oh and sorry about that Corey... Wrong place, wrong time? I'd really rather have fought you in the ring again...
Isaiah prods the unconscious Corey with the tip of his boot. Corey is unresponsive. Looking back to the wounded and retreating champion, the Kingslayer has a devious smile on his face.
Isaiah King: Yo Knuck, I'm coming after ya. Its time for a new hunt and this hunt? It's going to be RELENTLESS.
HHL: Well there you have it folks! Thunder Knuckles is the new Universal Champion but Isaiah King who clearly feels like he should have been the one Main Eventing night 3 is coming for TK and his new title. Join us in two weeks for Weekend Warfare to see what happens next between these two. Any final words Pip?
Pip: Thunder Knuckles is the new Universal Champion, long may he reign.
Fade to black...
JOIN US ON SUNDAY NOVEMBER 26th...
LIVE FROM...
SCOTLAND...
FOR...
Thank You To The Following Match Writers
Chris Page
Bobby Bourbon
Sean parker
Liam Desmond
Charlie Nickles
And to all of you for RPing and sending in segments for Relentless
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