Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Thaddeus Duke · (06-01-2021)

Illuminatus Compound || Old Saybrook, Connecticut

Tonight was a good night. It’s been a rather trying time for me and those I’m surrounded by with graduation and Alister beating up Liz and the ensuing dust up between Alister and I at his place in New York. Not to mention that emotional trauma I gave to Garrett coming back to haunt me. Tonight, there was none of that present until near the end. It’s celebration night. I bused in my class mates, ordered a shitty local band, rented some tents and campers for those that got a little wild. Tonight, the Illuminatus Compound was a place of peace, tranquility, remembrance and new beginnings. During this trying time in all of our lives, I think a little rest and relaxation was just the ticket. There’s nothing I wanted more tonight than to hear only laughter and happiness around a big old bonfire.

I got my wish. Mostly.

Even better still, I have Garrett back in my life, as rocky as that may be, and Elizabeth is smiling today. Granted, I think it’s a brave face and not so much happiness as it is, but still, people are smiling and that’s the main thing. After initially being happy that Garrett came by a few weeks back, its obvious that the spark is still there between us and that can’t be easy for her. Try as I might, I can’t just ignore what Garrett and I had and maybe still have. Call it whatever you want, I know its selfish of me. Nevertheless, I persist.

No Frankie tonight. He was tucked into bed by Jim and slept on by Mufasa and Simba. One day, he’ll be out here too, enjoying bonfires with his class mates and being promiscuous. Hopefully not too much though.

I said earlier I mostly got my wish. I have this unrivaled ability to take the things I want and crush them beneath the pressure I put on myself to do right, to be right. The rain began to fall and the night was coming to a close. The band was still playing, but should be ready to wrap up. They turned out to not be too shitty, by the way. As my drunken class mates all began to pass out and turn in for the night in the campers I rented, the band played one of my favorite songs and it was just me and Garrett left standing alone by the fire.

The drum beat from ‘The Chain’ picks up and Garrett looks at me.

”Don’t you dare do it!” he says, trying hard not to smile. I’m not a professional singer, but I love to do it. Especially to him. He loved when I sang to him. I did it often because I loved making him smile, I loved making his heart skip a beat.

”Listen to the wind bloowwww, watch the sun riiiise.”

”Thad,” he interrupts as I step toward him.

”Run in the shadowwwwws, damn your hate, damn my lies!” A small edit, just for him.

He just stares at me.

”And if you doooonnn’t looove me now! You will neverrrr love me again!”

”Fuck your voice man,” he says as his barriers are beginning to fall away. I fucking love him and I know it. He stands, staring into my eyes just a few inches in front of me.

”I can still hear me saying I would never BREAK the chain!” Another edit, for him.

”But you did,” he says sadly.

”I know.”

The rain falls harder and harder yet the band continues on. I say nothing. Garrett says nothing. Just the two of us soaked with rain just inches apart. The fire begins to dim as he and I stare into the windows of each others souls.

The band transitions from The Chain to Tiny Dancer. I wish I could say I planned this, but I didn’t. I grab Garrett’s hand. He looks at me, the raindrops disguising the tears rolling down his face. It was the first and only song he and I ever danced to publicly. We were just friends then. It was a Halloween dance and I was dressed up as Eleven from Stranger Things. He was Freddie Mercury… you know… Queen.

I rocked that dress, by the way and him? It was the first time he was ‘out’ and himself in public. I was proud of him. Little did I know at the time, I was falling in love with the boy. We were just in the moment. There was no relationship back then. Just too great friends having the time of our lives with other great friends. We danced together, and sang with each other.

”Thaddeus, please don’t,” he pleads with me. ”I don’t think I can take it.”

”That’s kind of the point,” I reply to him. A little emotional manipulation from your resident “good guy.” If you haven’t figured it out by now, clearly I don’t listen. I pull him close to me and he can’t resist, laying his head on my shoulder as we sway back and forth. I don’t sing to him like earlier, or like I sang to Liz in that bar. Instead, I just say what’s on my mind.

”You haven’t forgiven me,” I say softly as the rain drops begin to fall slightly harder.

”I know,” he replies, not lifting his head.

”You will though.”

”I know.”

”Garrett, I never meant to hurt you,” I say, letting a tear of my own fall.

”I know.”

”I’m so fucking sorry.”

”I know you are.”

”I missed you.”

That one doesn’t receive a response.

”I was so self consumed that I forgot what I was missing here at home.”

”I know,” he says with a sigh.

”HOLLLD ME CLOser Tiny DANNCeerrrr!” I sing, my voice cracking under the immense weight of freeing emotions escaping my soul.

”I’m not that tiny,” he says with a laugh, keeping his head on my shoulder.

”I know,” I say with a smile, mocking him from earlier.

”Fuck you,” he says with another laugh.

”I didn’t stop loving you,” I say, returning to my seriousness.

”I know.”

”This is so hard, you know?”

I can feel the smile growing on his face against my shoulder.

”Oh for fucks sake, just say it.”

”I know, I can feel it,” he laughs almost uncontrollably.

”I don’t know what to do about anything,” I say to him, returning to the seriousness of human emotion. He holds me so tightly and I him, and I love it. ”I know I love you with the strength of a thousand burning suns.

“I love Liz that way too.”

He pulls away a little and grabs my face with both hands. I know what he wants, I want it too, but I can’t.

”I can’t do that, G. Believe me, I want to,” I explain to him. ”I’d never do something behind Liz’s back just like I wouldn’t do anything behind yours.”

Leave it to a couple of overemotional homos to cry and laugh simultaneously in the rain. At least the soundtrack is good, right? The song winds down and I notice Liz watching out of the corner of my eye. I’m not sure how long she’s been there. I don’t know what she heard or saw, or didn’t. Part of me hopes she saw everything, heard everything. It’d make explaining this image that’s searing into her mind a hell of a lot easier on me. At the same time though, I really don’t deserve for this situation to be easy on me.

”Hey guys,” she says, cutting the silence like a dagger.

”Hey baby,” I say sheepishly.

”I’m sorry, Liz,” he apologizes to her. I’m not sure why, it was entirely my fault.

”For what?”

”For dancing with him,” he stammers.

”It’s cool,” she says. Clearly things are not cool.

”I’ll leave you two alone,” he says as he walks off quickly.

Things are quiet. Nothing but the crackling of the now dying bonfire and the raindrops hitting the trees in the distance.

”Don’t blame him,” I say to her just before she slaps me in the face. Part of me is confused because nothing happened. Part of me knows I deserved it because I don’t want to let either of them go. And why should I?

”I don’t blame him,” she replies calmly as she grabs my hand.

”What was that for?”

She scoffs.

”I left a comfortable life for you,” she answers.

”I know.”

”No, I wasn’t happy but I was safe, Thaddeus. I was comfortable and there was zero chance that I was gonna get hurt.”

”I know.”

Shit. Here we go again.

”I left because I fell in love with the most loving, decent, kindest man I have ever met. You! You dumb mother fucker!”

”I know.” Somebody stop me!

”Do you?”

Honestly? I don’t know what’s up or down, left or right right now.

”Nothing happened with G,” I insist.

”I know.”

”I would never do that to you.”

”I know.”

”I wouldn’t do that to him, either. I’ve hurt him enough.”

”I know.”

What the fuck? SERIOUSLY!? How the fuck does everybody know everything but NOTHING ever gets solved?

”You look at him, the same way you look at me,” she says as she grabs my soaking wet face. ”You love him the same way you love me and you need to stop lying to yourself about that!”

”I can’t help that,” I say to her honestly.

”No, I know you can’t,” she replies. ”But you need to figure it out quickly, because I’m not sure I can handle you loving someone else.”

”Why?”

”What?”

Here goes nothing. I’m shooting my shot.

”Why can’t I love you both? I have enough love in me to love ten people. This is only two!”

”Baby life doesn’t work that way.”

”It doesn’t work that way because people are stuck to this archaic idea that love can only be between two people. That’s bullshit, if you haven’t noticed.

“Get to know him, Love. You might love him like I do.”

”Baby,” she says with a slight laugh. ”Garrett is gay, not bisexual.”

”Yeah I know, there was a parade and everything,” I joke. ”Anyway who said anything about sex? This is love, my dear. You can fuck whoever you want but that doesn’t mean you love them. You can love whoever you want but that doesn’t mean you fuck them.

“Love is love, Lizzy.”

”So you’re saying if I allowed you to love us both you wouldn’t fuck him?”

Well… this went off the rails, no?

”Uhhhhhhh. That’s not what I meant, exactly.”

FUCK! I thought I was doing so well and she had to go and be rational or something.

”Monogamy is archaic, Liz. It’s overrated. There is no rule written under the morality heading that says love can only be shared between two people.”

She kisses me on the cheek and walks away.

”Where are you going?” I call out to her.

”Bed!”

”Liz! I’m not done talking!”

She doesn’t stop, doesn’t turn around.

”I am!”

...And then there was one.

A big part of me wishes Garrett had stuck around. Not that part. Well, maybe. I’m fucking up big time and it’s like… I just can’t stop myself from running this whole thing into a brick wall and destroying everything and everyone I love.

I stand alone now by the slowly dying fire, now hastened by the increasing rainfall. Nearby, an opened cooler, the ice long melted by the heat of a late summer day and the once roaring fire, now fills with a steady rainfall. I reach in and grab the lone remaining Miller High Life and twist it open before chugging a few swallows. On an overturned log nearby, I take a seat and let the rains wash over me.

I’m so good at a great many things. I’m good at loving people and having them love me back but for whatever reason, I have this ridiculous ability to not stop myself from also hurting them.

I know its fucked up. I legitimately want both of them. I don’t want to hurt G, I don’t want to hurt Liz. I don’t want to hurt me either, but no matter how this shakes out, two people are gonna be crushed. Me and one of them. Unless of course, I figure out a way to convince them both that three is greater than two.

I really didn’t think she’d go for it, but a man has to shoot his shot right? Man, I'mma really fuck this all the way up.

"Paul we good?" Thaddeus asks of his business manager as he fixes his hair a touch. He's got curls for days, they need to be just right.

"Good to go and just so you know, Thad, his wife cut this promo."

"Really?"

Heyman nods, Thad rolls his eyes in response.

Heyman hands an iPad to his client. Thad puts in the earbuds and watches the promo a few minutes. He gives no expressions as he watches and listens. No smiles or smirks, no patented Thaddeus Duke scoffs. As the Mariamind promo concludes, Thad rips out the ear buds and tosses the iPad to Paul off screen, who drops it.

"Nice hands," he jokes.

"I'm not an athlete sir, just the advocate for one of the greatest pure athletes I have ever seen."

Maria, you pretty little idiot.

Mastermind you spineless, gutless, nutless little bitch, you send your WIFE out in front of the cameras to discuss how disgusted she is in my actions? Spare us the melodrama of that trip down memory lane, because you can't do that as good as I can either.

Am I facing you Mastermind? Or am I facing Maria? It's you last I checked but you can bring Maria and you can bring Markus, you can bring them into the chamber with you because there's nothing I'd like more than to personally witness the fucking horror on her face as I meticulously take you apart in that ring. When I'm done with you... maybe I'll turn my attention to your fair lady and her special brother...

Nah I'm kidding... I'm not that kinda guy.

What kind of guy am I though? If you ask my friends and my family, those that know me. I'm a stand up guy. Loyal to a fault. Protective. I care about others. I love animals. If you ask Maria or Mastermind and his Misfits. I'm the scum of the Earth. See, he wants to play the victim card. He wants people to think that what I did to him was some cowardly sneak attack. I'll leave the cowardly part up to my fans but most of them seemed to enjoy watching me give you a taste of the violence that I'm capable of. That was just a chair, and I know how much you love chairs. I was thinking of you the whole time! There's gonna be a whole lot more variety of things inside Paul Heyman's House of Horrors that I can dismantle you with! Aren't you excited man? I know I am!

So yeah, Mastermind wants to play the role of victim here while entirely ignoring that fact that what brought all of this on was him undermining my victory, say that with me Mastermind, and Maria too since she's the one that said something about me being unwilling to own my losses, but that's another topic we'll get into later. I know victory is a foreign word to you since all you're really used to saying is 'loss' but that's what this is about. You stuck your fuckin' nose in my business and you undermined my title victory over Thunder Knuckles at Leap of Faith.

That's it.

See, I put on a smile for my legion of fans and I don't say too many mean things about my opponents and that has made people overlook me a bit. That's on me, no one else. People take advantage of me because I'm a nice guy. Again, that's on me. It turns out, I can still be me. I can still be me and smile with my fans. I can still be me and sign autographs and pose for selfies. I can still be me, and not take shit from anyone and that's what Paul Heyman is teaching me. I'm done being the doormat of the Xtreme Wrestling Federation simply because people want to take advantage of my nice guy image.

That's why I ruined your night at Warfare. That's why I took my time and took pleasure in tearing you apart at Warfare. That's why, Mastermind, you DON'T want to carry this on past Relentless because as many times as you may feel you want to step to the plate, I will put you on your back and I will beat you like the inferior piece of garbage that you have been since the day you stepped foot into the XWF all those years ago.

Paul, she called me a sick cunt like thirty three times. I'm positive that's trademark infringement so if you don't mind cutting a check to Noah and Shawn, that'd be great.

Maria, who told you this was a good idea for you? Who in their right mind in that mansion said 'you know what would be cool? If Maria cut a promo on Thaddeus Duke and made herself look like a worthless fucking know nothing wind bag.' I'm an equal opportunity kind of guy so when Paul told me it was you that cut this promo, yeah I rolled my eyes but I was interested in what you had to say. I was interested because I thought you might get some facts right and just call me a bunch of names because I beat up your little under-sized halfwit of a husband.

You say I'm a crybaby because your husband cost me matches. First of all, sit the fuck down bitch because your husband never cost me anything accept clean victories. I know, I know, winning and victory are so foreign to Team Mastermind that he and his team of misguided misfits think that no one else wins either. I got news for ya Squirt and company, despite my shitty August, I win rather frequently. I know, again, foreign concept. I've never bitched about or complained when someone is able to beat me.

Not once.

I've said it before that there's even a few losses that I wear like a badge of fucking honor. Fuck, you dumb bitch, I even said it in the clips of my Warfare promo that YOU JUST RE-AIRED! Maria, I know you meant well and you're defending your husband and all that, and that's admirable but if you're gonna open your mouth to a professionally trained competitor, you might want to know what you're talking about before you do it.

Sit down and turn off the mic because you've ruined your credibility way more than I care to.

Maria, listen up, and listen good. You talk sense into your husband. You make him see the error he is making by wanting this to continue. The fact of the matter, is he got what he had coming and we can settle this once and for all at Relentless. I promise you Maria, what you saw at Warfare, what he felt at Warfare... honey that's just the tip of the iceberg. And I'm not a big fan of just using the tip. See, I'm going all the way in at Relentless. Inside that chamber, there's no one, NO ONE, to make me stop. There's no one that can beg and plead with me to get me to stop tearing him apart... until I'm damn good and ready to stop. And if he wishes to continue after Relentless, Maria, it'll happen over and over and over again until you make me end his career forever.

I'm going to master his mind, Maria.

I'm going to master his body.

I'm going to master his soul.

And Maria, the reason being... simply because I can.

Maria, honey, if you thought what I did to that runt on Warfare was disgusting, maybe you want to sit this one out and don't watch. It's Alcatraz, baby. I'mma make your husband my little prison bitch from start to finish. I'm gonna re-scramble the pea-sized brain in his head. I'm going to make what I did on Warfare look like child's play. Maria, I'm going to make you wish he stayed retired. Now if you don't mind milady, dig deep in that purse, or handbag or whatever you kiwi freaks call them down there, find what's left of Mastermind's balls that you've effectively emasculated him with by keeping from him, and give them back so that I can speak directly to him.

"Thaddeus?"

"What?"

"You nailed that one, kid."

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The After Party: RP #2
Author	Message