Picking up right where Amjetkun left off, Amjetkun has his face buried in his big ass bowl of oats and doesn’t seem to notice the used syringe awaiting his bare foot as he clumsily trots down the stairs. Time seems to slow to a crawl as Vita’s eyes grow large in anticipation of the dumb fuck pain that’s coming her way should the over grown fuck step on that needle and tumble down the stairs like a wreckingball of .


Can she stop it?


”HEY, WATCH YOUR…”


Amjetkun no sells the shit out of Vita’s warning as his foot comes down firmly on the needle.


”FUUUUCK!”


The oats fly into the air as Amjetkun falls off balance and tumbles down the steps. VV hugs the wall and manages to narrowly avoid getting steamrolled as Amjetkun bounces and thuds his way down the steps and lands at the bottom in with his body twisted in an awkward position that’s made even more awkward as he balances on his rock solid and never ending erection. Seriously, it’s a pretty funny sight to see the big goof twirling around like a spinning top at the foot of the stairs, but as funny as it might be, Vita is left with no time to savor the moment.


SPLAT!


Oh noes… Amjetkun is maybe dead and VV is covered in oats… I told ya it was going to be a long week…

Later

"This is stupid bro!"


The scene fades into view and we see Anjetkun with his cheek placed firmly on the ground and one of his legs stretched up and out to the sky. It seems like VV has somehow convinced him to try yoga?


"Stupid or not, you promised to give this a chance!"


"I don't see the point bro, I'm already a physical specimen of strength and power bro!" he says as he lowers his leg and pushes up from the ground.


"You're also clumsy as heck! Strength doesn't amount to much when you struggle to keep balance!"


VV forcefully presses Amjetkun's face back to the ground.


"Now assume the position!"


Amjetkun grunts with irritation, but ultimately does as VV asks.


"You'd better hold yo your end bro!"


"Sure sure, I'll try one of your protein shakes, but you have to give this a sincere effort first!"





”Wow, I can’t believe how well your doing!”


Amjetkun is seen standing on his head, one leg thrown in front of him, the other behind. He presses up and with a near magical act of grace, he lands softly upon his feet.


"Yeah bro, I’ve been pretty stoked to get you on a healthier diet, and it gave me the push I needed to really give this a go bro!"


VV can’t help but to look at him sideways. ”Um, yeah. Totally can’t wait to start bulking up!”


Amjetkun chuckles as he digs through his igloo cooler.


”Here you go bro! One-hundred percent original Amjetkun designed protein shake. Guaranteed to bulk you up faster than any supplement on the market!”


VV stares at the drink suspiciously as she leans in to get a closer look.


”Speaking of, there’s not any steroids or anything in this is there?”


He smirks suspiciously before saying. ”What kinda question is that? Of course not bro, I only train legitimately!


VV takes the bottle and twist off the cap. She gives it a sniff and seems surprised by the sweat aroma. She glances into Amjetkun’s eyes for a moment before looking back down to the bottle. She takes a deep breath and presses it to her lips. Tilt up...


slow…



taste it….



Not bad….



GULP! GULP! GULP!


She pulls the bottle away from her lips and wipes the excess from her lips with her forearm, revealing a smile.


”This is REALLY GOOD!”


”Yeah bro, you know what else this all has been?”


”Pointless?”


”Damn right bro! Just like all the shitty promo’s we’ve had to endure from The Tristan Slater and Dolphin’s Most Wanted!”


”Totally, between the random pointlessness of Jimmy boy, and the obvious phoning in from The nobody who says he was once somebody, this week’s competition has been something to watch.”


”Yeah bro, and that something is annoying.”


”Annoying? You wanna talk about annoying? This entire week has been annoying, and no, not just because of my uninvited house guest rummaging through my stuff, throwing out my food, and leaving his dirty clothes and used syringes lying about everywhere. No, this week was made especially annoying because of the fact that neither of my opponents recognize me as the actual Anarchy champion! Do you know how frustrating it is to BUST YOUR BUTT and rise to the level that I’m actually on now, just to have mostly everyone call it into question at every turn? Do you know how frustrating it is to see every attempt to legitimize yourself ignored and no sold by the very same person who has single handedly caused all of the controversy to begin with? Ever since I won the Anarchy championship at Relentless, I’ve had to endure a large majority of our roster, our fans, and even our powers that be, all call into question my championship win at Relentless, and through it all, I have done nothing but try to prove myself as the one and only real, true, legitimate, Anarchy champion. A task that was made possible when the person who caused the controversy in the first place refused to step up and settle the score once and for all!”


"Uhhh, I hate to be that guy, but let's back up bro. I'm not uninvited."


"Oh great you're here too."


"Shiiiit... I'm everywhere you are. We're partners! At least I don't make batshit crazy claims that you're not a champion when you have the title. It's sickening as fuck bro how much these cuckfucks disrespect you!"


“Hell yeah! I’ve been sick of this crap for a while now, but to listen to an uneducated idiot like “THE” Tristan Slater, a guy who is supposed to be a legend, tell the world that not only am I NOT a real champion, but that the company that I work for doesn’t even recognize my belt? That’s complete idiocy! That’s a sure sign that the man that I’m facing isn’t the legend that he bills himself as. He isn’t a veteran of the business, at least not one that has ever truly mattered."


"Damn fuckin' right! Dude is nothing more than a dirty ass jock strap that needs to be burned. I bet if I saw that fuckin' guy in the cafeteria and I took his carton of OJ he'd just let me walk away with it. I BETCHA HE'D BITCH OUT! I bet if I key'd his car and left him a note saying it's me, he wouldn't do shit!"


"Let's just call a bitch a bitch. Let's stop beating around the bitch's bush. Tristan's the type of guy who if I saw in the gym and he asked me to spot him on the bench press, I'd get in position and I'd piss in his bitchmade face and make him drop the bar across his tiny ass neck! I'd fuckin' humble that boy in the gym or on the field. I'd fucking eat him alive and shit him out dry an hour later if we went head to head in the strongman competition!"


"He ain't a legend, he ain't a champ, he ain't a vet, he ain't a pro... He ain't jack shit he claims to be! Tell 'em, Vita!"


"Damn right he’s not! He’s just another small fish, constantly swimming upstream to no avail. His entire career must have been one painful loss after the other, much like his attempt at winning tag team gold during the tournament.”


“Why do I say that?”


“Simple...”


A still image from the XWF website pops up on the screen.





”Because while this company might be conflicted on who they should recognize as champion, the fact that Tristan just assumed that I wasn’t listed as Anarchy champion in an official capacity just goes to prove that he has dedicated zero time into actually researching his opponents. It proves that he made the same mistake that Sarah called him and Famine on during the tag team tournament, and it proves that The Tristan Slater is once again coming into a fight half cocked because he’s too full of himself to entertain the idea that a 17 year old girl and a muscle bound rook might just have what it takes to put away a washed up vet and his dolphin hating partner who has struggled to find any success outside of the HWM title belt."


"Fuck that belt broh!"


VV cuts Amjetkun an annoyed look as she continues. "A belt that he even resorted to begging Big D for because, you know, when you suck, everyone should just gift you wins to make you feel important.”


“Well Jim, we aren’t gifting you a win, and your partner sure isn’t going to be enough to carry you to a victory either!"


"Damn straight! I mean let's just fuckin' be realistic here ok bubba? You never had a shot in hell, Jimbish Jagson or whatever the fuck your name is today! Here we are working hard to improve ourselves, eat clean, get big, stay natural, et cetera, et cetera, FUCKIN' ET CETERA MOTHER FUCKER! Yet you can't even keep track of your own name? Bro this game where you have a new stupid name every time somebody sees you is really fucking gay bro and you need to stop. That's probably your big strategy? Work hard making it so nobody knows who the hell you are or what your stinkin' name is so then we're confused when we enter the match? We're not gonna go down like that! BITCH WE AIN'T MAKING THIS EASY FOR YOU! WE AIN'T HANDING YOU SHIT!!!"


No, Amjetkun and I are going to run right through the two of you and advance to the second round, and do you want to know why? Because we have spent the last couple of weeks living together, training together, learning to get along. It’s no secret that the two of us aren’t exactly two peas in a pod."


"She ain't lyin' bro. I was ready to huff bleach and ammonia to save myself from having to team with some dumb bimbo. How the fuck a bitch got into a men's tournament is beyond me but hey I guess in this world everybody loves to see a woman get out-classed by a man. I didn't like being put with this bitch but I said fuck it and made it work because I just came and moved my ass into her home rather than cry."


"Yeah and I may have dropped to my knees and screamed to the heavens, “WHY ME GOD!?!” but I got over it. I got over it because I knew that the only chance that we had here was to find a way to work together in that ring. Don’t forget that I’m a two time tag team champion, I have a little experience in this category. So when I came home and found that Amjetkun had broken into my place, I didn’t freak out and call the cops. Instead I looked at it as the gift that it really was. A chance for the two of us to find some common ground and build a strong base of trust for our team leading into this match.”


"Let's back up a second there again bro I didn't break in."


“...”


"Ok, glad you agree. See this is exactly why we're on the same page and we're a well oiled up unit! We're oiled as fuck, brah! Dude you could fire bullets at us and they'd just slide around us cuz you know there's no friction between anyone this well oiled! OHHHH! OHHHH!"


“What have the two of you done to get on the same page, huh? You filmed some overly scripted trip to a bingo game from Hell, and even then, EVEN WITH A SCRIPT designed to make you two look like a fierce and cohesive unit, you still managed to screw it all up and expose the fact that the two of you are TOTALLY NOT ON THE SAME PAGE!”


VV smirks as she offers up a sarcastic golf clap.


”Good job boys…”


“You’ve really shown the world just how well you can work together. In fact, Amjetkun and I are so shook from everything that you’ve said and done so far that we can’t help but consider pulling out of this tournament and reconsidering our career choice."


"Shit... for real, dude? That kinda sucks."


“Seriously, you guys have proven yourselves to be an unstoppable force. A well oiled machine that will decimate everything in your paths.”


"Fuck. Well shit I guess I'll just go kill myself. You hear that, guys? Vita has convinced me. I'm just gonna shoot myself up with random chemicals until I overdose so I don't have to be humiliated by you guys."


“We’re just a couple of “bad wrestlers” who have never done anything of merit in the XWF…”


"Yeah we fuckin' suck dick bro."


“Except for the fact that I won the Tag Team Championships within by first month in the XWF.”


"ohshit"


”Won them back shortly after losing them.”


"Oh Shit."


”And would have them now if Jessalyn hadn’t fucked off after our last defense.”


"OH SHIT! That's right losers! We were being sarcastic when we were acting like you were better than us! HAHA! Fuckin' dorks!"


”I’m younger than both of you, and Amjetkun lacks experience in the ring. Those are facts, but this is a fact too. I am a proven champion in the tag ranks, and I know how to win, how to work together, and how to dissect and expose a sloppy thrown together tag team that has no business being paired together in the first place. What is it that you think we have been doing this whole time? Chasing dolphins and scripting boring fight club bingo promos? Heck no, we’ve been training, we’ve been preparing, and we’ve been focused on one goal, winning!”


VV takes pause for a moment to reconsider that last comment.


”Okay, two goals, winning and further defining our glutes.”


"Fuck yeah! You boys are gonna be humbles as fuck by our hot fuckin' asses!"


“Amjetkun is pretty obsessed with plumping up our bootys. He thinks a big round bottom will give us a little extra momentum to kick out of pin attempts. I’m not sure if I buy the logic behind it, but hey, who doesn’t want a well defined plump bottom? Between the butt exercises though, that’s where the real work has gone down. Because I’ve been sharing my knowledge as a tag team champion with my partner. I’ve been preparing him for this match. You think he’s a clumsy roid rager”


"Haha, hell fuckin' yeah I am! But at the same time I stay natty and I stay legal bro because I have a big brain!"


“Exactly... but as you can see, he’s a clumsy roid rager with a plan and a partner who can ensure that he makes it to the next round!”
“You guys want to throw shade? You want to toss out half thought out nonfactual insults to garner you favor with the crowd? Go for it! Do you think either of us care what you have to say? No, because instead of wasting our time obsessing over the BS that the two of you have been spouting out and worrying about disproving all of the crap that you’ve said, we’ve decided to instead prove you wrong where it matters… IN THAT RING! Because once we do that, all of the regurgitated false bull crap that you said leading up to this match will be forgotten, and all anyone will remember from this encounter is how Jim Jimson and Tristan Slater had their asses handed to them by a steroid junkie and a “fake” champion!”


"Wait... Jim Jimson? WHO THE FUCK???"


"Shit I thought we were facing either Jim Jackstiener, J. Jonah Jimson, Jimbo Jimson, Jim Johnson, Tim Jimson, Papa Jimson, Pinecone Jimson, Mama Jimson, Jim Jimbo, Jimmy Jimson, Jimmy Jimbo Jimbob, James Jimson, or Jimmy Jim? WHERE THE HELL DID A JIM JIMSON COME FROM NOW? FUCK A JIM JIMSON!"