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Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **10-08-2019, 01:40 PM**

(10-07-2019, 05:57 PM)Noah Jackson Said:

"I blame Lane."

"New account, give us a follow cunts. @Jack_Noahson"

"While I'm here just gonna say some shit."

"Duke's a fucking pissbaby and doesn't deserve to be in the fed let alone have a title attached to his doughy fuck form."

"Big D is the biggest waste of time this company has ever seen. He's shit, he should know he's shit but as long as he has money in his pocket he can buy himself some dick pills so he can stoke his steadily deflating ego more."

"Lane's a fucking sack."

"Lux is a cuck."

"Centurion is a shit cunt. Fucking making himself the main event, the fuck you delicate little pussy?"

"Mastermind is still the worst wrestler on the roster."

"Theo Pryce does fuck all but pipes up just enough so we don't forget him. Like a turd that floats back up after you flush it. WHERE'S THE BRACKET, CUNT!?"

"Ruby is scared of me."

"These Misfit cunts are a joke. Like Bobby Roode, Miz and Kennedy all over again but this time in a less recognisable package."

"Where the fuck is James Raven?"

"D'Ville is a fucking washed-up let down."

"Anarchy sucks, Savage sucks and Warfare is somehow worse than both."

"Lacklan is a fake cunt. Kenzi's alright to be honest, just a shame she has to carry that tumour around."

"Ned Kaye can eat a buffet of dicks."

"Drew Archyle needs to give me my fucking cat! Cunt!"

"Eat shit."

"Hail Satan."

"Fuzz is sick."

"Hi VV."

Wow. That there is smack talk of a modern variety.

Now, once upon a time, I would have just called you a UTI, a yeast infection, or anything else alluding to the fact you are, indeed, an unwell vagina. But, I'm pastiche, no?

Also, not banned on Twitter. I am really good at Twitter. I have followers, post memes, get into feuds with kitchen appliances, talk about video games, look at boobs, all the Twittering.

Just, uh, just try not to limp while carrying the torch there, young man.

Oh, and online dating is for chumps. Us grown men know to just go to a bar and buy someone a whiskey sour, or to check out craft stores in the early evenings and talk extensively about why being creative is important. Fetlife is just another Tinder but for people who can't get it up unless they indescretely discuss their kinks. Spoiler alert: don't ask to pull hair or leave red handprints on the booty, just apologize and buy bottomless mimosas at brunch if she wasn't too thrilled about being tied up.

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