Okay, I read your first one and here's my 2 cents. As a slice of life, I thought it was rather good. This paragraph in particular was VERY strong.

Quote:I really don't understand how people find Seattle depressing. It's surrounded with water except where it's surrounded by a mountain. It's like it's own beautiful, outlying pocket of Earth. It's not Seattle that's depressing, it's the people. Homeless people just kinda contemplating life and what role do frogs play in our ultimate demise. Lots of starving musicians who fetishize Kurt and Jimi and are really craving bullets with a side of late rent. Hipsters who only care about things they can tweet for virtual hearts that pop with confetti when touched. It's full of young liberal cynics who like the appeal of a place so artistically varied. And that's a great benefit of the place, but it also brings out the worst in people.

However, this didn't feel at all like a wrestling promo. It read more like an excerpt from a short story in some off beat literary publication. It's not a bad thing, but I would guess that's why you lost. I agree that the nihilist talk was a little on the nose (and that always makes me think of the nihilists from Lebowski, so maybe I'm biased). But I like how you are a self-identified sociopath without being some cackling supervillain character. Sociopaths are way overdone in efedding, but you handled it with grace. Perhaps exploring that side would be fodder for future roleplays.

Your dialogue was serviceable, but maybe a tad unrealistic in places (like the nihilist part). I find it helps to read things aloud and see if that sounds like something someone would actually say.

I guess my only other gripe is that I'm a sucker for promo's that have an overarching theme. I didn't feel like this had one, aside from giving some insight into who Chris is as a person.

Long story short, I think you definitely have some talent (that paragraph above truly was good), just work on incorporating trash talk/match discussion more and making dialogue a tad more naturalistic (it really wasn't bad, just needs a bit of fine tuning).