(04-13-2017, 10:52 AM)DannyImperial Said: The story building is great, I think it's a great return promo considering I know nothing about your character. Gave me a little insight into his history.

I'm not sure how your character used to be, so do forgive me if I jump to assumptions, but I've realised a lot of the guys here have little quirks that make their character dialogue unique. Be it the curse words they use, the sentence structure etc, I feel like the dialogue coming out of Davids was a little generic, nothing there popped out and hit me you know?

But I mean, that's me trying hard and digging deep to find something to critique. I had a lot of fun reading through it, some incredible work there, welcome back.

Thanks Danny, I'll take that on board. I guess I take for granted that people will assume Davids is a husky talking Brit and that doesn't come across enough in my writing. I'll work on it.

Thanks everyone for the feedback, it's much appreciated.

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