Christina Nash pecks Kool on the cheek, waving to him as she heads out to the supermarket. He smiles, and boots up his Sega DreamCast 2 before booting up Sonic Adventure 3. The splash screen swipes across before the game's logo appears. A beautiful score accpmpanies the screen, as The Kid is prepared to blast through some Badniks. Suddenly, the doorbell rings and Kid lets them know he'll be right there.

"Hold up one second, I'm coming!"

Kid rises from his seat and heads toward the door, pulling his black and blue blazer on along the way. He arrives at the door...

"Who's out there, may I ask?"

"Hi there! It's Tesla, you know, from the casino? Thought I'd check up on you."

Kid Kool opens the door and smiles. "Hi there, dollface, how can I help ya?"

Tesla: I just thought I'd see how you're doing, since you helped me at Ceasar's..."

Kid Kool: I'm doing swell, I just got my new DreamCast 2 out of the box, and I'm ready to get down and dirty with some Sonic Adventure 3!! How's life been treatin' ya?

Tesla: I've moved up from a tiny house to a decent-sized place, and I've got enough ice cream to last a lifetime! Ya want a gaming buddy?

Kid Kool: Sure, come on in!

Tesla steps through the doorway and takes a seat on Double K's sofa, browsing the coffee table for magazines... Newsweek, Pro Wrestling Illustrated, Electronic Gaming Monthly, Porn...

Kid Kool: Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, or Robotnik?

Tesla: Knuckles! He's sooo badass! If I were an Echidna I'd fuck him in half!!

KK: Knuckles it is. Listen, my girl might come back home while you're here, so play it Kool, K?

Tesla: Sh-ore, hun, got it!

The duo play together for damn near two hours, before Tesla lets Kid know she's got to head home. He pats her on the shoulder, before she surprises him with a kiss on the lips... RIGHT as Christina Nash steps through the doorway.

CN: What in the absolute FUCK is going on here?! I KNEW you were bad news, you stupid big breasted BITCH!!! Get the FUCK off my man before I have to be hauled out for manslaughter!!

Tesla: Oh, sorry kiddo, shoulda asked you for permission to treat your man right. You know, the way you WISH you could!!

CN: You know, I'd take that personally if I didn't see how CLEARLY your whore card is showing. Why don't you hand it over to KK so he can call you whenever he needs a slut to blow him!

Tesla: I'm willing to bet I do a HELLUVA lot better job than you ever could!!

CN: Wanna find out? Be my guest!! KK, I'm gone. Good luck keeping this BITCH from sucking off all of Las Vegas! Christina out, PY-EACE!!

Nash drops the shopping bags, before storming out... leaving Tesla and KK to themselves, gazing into one another's eyes as the camera fades.

= = = = = = = =

Joshua... I'm sorry. Sorry about being a fast-living, smarmy-mouthed, egotisticial, mansexual asshole. But guess what?

I back all that up every time I step in the ring. Win or lose, I give the fans a show. They remember me. As for you?

--Nobody will remember you after I wipe the canvas with your face. Bank on it.--

All that shit you spew in those hard-to-watch vignettes roll together as if you don't even have a clue what you're talking about. You string prose together as if you're looking to be the next William Shakespeare, and yet? The words come together like a monkey randomly tossing alphabet soup at a shit-stained wall, just looking to see what sticks.

You're droning, unintelligible and hard to listen to, but in the end, it won't be your words that will work against you, but your in-ring weaponry. Every move you make better be precision-perfect (see what I did there?) ...because I may be a rookie, but I pick up on things quicker than anyone I know. I'm the swift moving, smooth stepping, hot-fire-spitting, air-walking son-of-a-BITCH that will bring your future crashing down before it even begins. One more time, say it with me-- BANK ON IT!!!

You're new to the XWF, as am I, but there's difference between the two of us. You're clean cut, right-side of the tracks and all that jazz, while I? i'm the kind of guy that wrecks hotel rooms, parties till he falls in a bathtub and pukes his guts out till I have enough vomit to build a sand castle. I'm the boy your parents warned you about. Which reminds me-- your mom sure as hellafuck didn't think I was impotent. True story.

The ONLY perfect person in the cosmos is God above. I'm no saint, but there are certain lines I just don't cross. So judge not lest ye be judged, manfucker. Know that WildCard is the BEGINNING of my journey to the tippy-top of the mountain, ready to kick ass and screw my girlfriend Christina Nash. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, FUCK YOU BITCH!!! For all the shit you said, I will eat your lung.

You're a copycat of Maverick, whether you know him or have never heard of him. He's a better rip off of XWF legend Rebel than you are. The three of you are the same GOD DAMNED gimmick-- stoic, methodical, Randy Orton.

Go pull a Frodo and fuck your Aunt Em's toto. I see how you are.

What the fuck did you do just use Zeus to automatically generate your promo scripts? GENERIC ASS BULL SHIT. Fuck that shit.

And by the fuddermukkin' way? I was at Casear's as a good luck charm for some chick. I don't gamble because it's a waste of money. Big winnings are rare, and I'm not putting money on something that isn't a sure thing. And with that, I suggest EVERYONE place their money on The Kid, yours truly, because your white bread ass is going down.

How useless will you be when I cleave that heart from your chest? How USELESS will you be when I remove your ribcage, and use the bones to carve you a permanent smile? Your blood will drip, your ears will ring with every blow, and you'll KNOW why I'm so goddamn cocky. Yes, I'm goofy, yes I'm crazy, but once I hear my music hit, I step through those curtains, and it's time to Show The World.

I may not be perfect.... but I'm not 'weak' either. I put everything I have into everything I do. I want you to know my name as the name that gave you your first loss in your first match. A few things-- I'm no antique when it comes to my personality. I've done things that would freak half of the XWF roster out, and that's saying quite a deal, my friend. I almost killed Uncle Joey from Full House. True story, bro.

You can be reborn as many times as you want, but in the end, I will be your death nail each and every last time. Bring the beatdown, I'll get back up EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. This is my pay-per-view debut...

I'm gonna make it count. One last time, with feeling!!

#BANK_ON_IT

Joshua? YOU ARE FUCKING BORING.

|end of story|