Hillary Clinton sits in a room full of her top secret executive campaign running crew as they plot their evil schemes of world domination. A giant room full of around 666 drooling freaks eagerly listening on with diligent care to their fuhrer as she gives them orders on very, very important political issues such as....

Hillary Clinton: "Make sure everyone knows that Donald Trump drives five miles over the speed limit and fudges his score on the golf course! We also need to let everyone knows that if Trump still thinks he needs to ban all Muslims, that it also be important that we ban all alligators from not only the Disney Parks, but the entire country as well! We should probably also force the University of Florida to change it's mascot because that family who lost their child last week might be offended by it!"

The crowd of drooling listeners now all begin rubbing their hands together and nodding their heads in anxious anticipation to answer her orders. Before she can continue her speech, from out of the back a heavy metal door flies open and slams against the arm of one of the campaign crew members, tearing it off completely! The XWF Xtreme Champion; Unknown Soldier, comes flailing through the doorway like a literal bat out of hell and runs down the hallway of listeners in this theater type setting where Hillary was giving her speech at the front of it behind a podium. Sprinting at full speed, waving his hands all over the place, and screaming at the top of his lungs!

Unknown Soldier:"Hill-dawg! Hill-dogg! Quickly, I need your help!"

Hillary Clinton: "I'm in the middle of something important here, Soldier. I just can't...."

Unknown Soldier: "Nothing is more important than this, believe me, absolutely fucking NOTHING!"

Soldier gives her the sad puppy eyes and she eventually caves in.

Hillary Clinton: "Will you excuse me for a moment, everyone."

Hillary follows Soldier back up the way he came, when they arrive at the exit, the flailing freak picks up the removed appendage and begins gnawing on the end of it like a turkey leg. The two eventually make their way outside the theater, down the hallway, and into a conference room where the two of them can have a private conversation, and possibly a quickie. After the 6.66 seconds of coitus with Mrs. Clinton, all the while Soldier still chewing on the severed hand, Mrs Clinton insist that Soldier quickly tell her what the problem is. Still focusing more on his meal than the conversation, Hillary eventually grabs it out of hands, takes a bite herself, and then throws it into the corner of the room.

Hillary Clinton: "Come on now, tell me what was so important you had to interrupt me."

Unknown Soldier: "Well, it's Roxy Rotten. I don't know how to say this, but well, she's got it and..."

Hillary Clinton: "You got her pregnant! Congratulations Papa Soldier!"

In case you didn't know, Roxy Rotten is Unknown Soldier's other girlfriend who is a lot like Roxy Cotton but way sexier and more of a depraved rotten slut, hence the name.

Unknown Soldier: "No, I mean she's got it and I don't! She ate some of Vinnie Lane's excrement after he shit when he tried to pin me for the Xtreme Title!"

Hillary Clinton: "Got what dear?"

Unknown Soldier: "The Diff! She's got C-Diff and I don't! I don't understand because I've fucked her constantly sloppy diarrhea plagued asshole 666 times and I still can't get the disease! It's supposed to be highly contagious!"

Hillary Clinton: "Why would you want to get C-Diff?"

Unknown Soldier: "If I don't get C-diff like most everyone in the XWF including Vinnie and frodo, then everyone will think I'm a like Ghost Tank!"

Hillary Clinton: "Don't worry baby, I'm sure you'll get it soon enough..."

Unknown Soldier: "You don't understand slut, I went to the exact same 50 doctors in every state as Ghost Tank, so you know their fucking reputable, and got a clean bill of health from every single damn one of them just like him. This is fucking bullshit!"

Hillary Clinton: "Well I'm sorry sweetey but their is nothing I can do to help you, and I also need to get back to work."

Hillary exits the room and Soldier falls to his knees, sobbing a bit as he looks completely distraught. His only option now is to seek the guidance of the one he can trust the most.

Unknown Soldier: "Lord SATAN! hear my evil prayers and help guide me in your ways to give me the strength of body and mind to get C-diff! Help me my dark savior!"

A faint voice begins howling in the back ground like a ghost and gets louder and louder.

Unknown Soldier: "SATAN! is that you mine master!"

Eventually a shadowy white fog like looking creature forms over his head and reveals itself to Soldier. The fog forms into a human being and his identity is quite obvious as we've all seen it on the 100 dollar bill. It is, in fact, the one and only ghost of Benjamin Franklin himself.


Benjamin Franklin's Ghost: "Soldier, I have been sent to assist you in your en devours."

Unknown Soldier: "Of course! If anyone can help me attract electricity to something metal in a lightening storm for my Extra Electrified Xtreme Extravaganza match it would be you! Thank SATAN!"

Benjamin Franklin's Ghost: "No, you don't understand Soldier. A lot of people have that interpretation of how and why I invented electricity wrong. You see, I have a bit of a confession to make. I had C-diff...."

Unknown Soldier: "YOU had C-diff!"

Benjamin Franklin's Ghost: "Yes, I didn't even listen during the signing of the US Constitution and spent most of the time in the latrine. But since I'm Benjamin fucking Franklin, they of course still let me sign the thing anyway. You see, in 1750 I wasn't trying to discover electricity, I was, in fact, trying to figure out the cure for C-diff and I believe that I did just that. When I got shocked by the kite my symptoms seemed to lessen, so I knew I was on to something. I wasn't sure if my theory was true, that was until I came across your opponent tomorrow night and looked back on his history. Do you know anyone else who has competed in more electrocution type matches than Ghost Tank? It is also my understanding that he is completely free from the disease even though he wrestles and puts his hands all over members of the XWF infected with it? It has to be the only logical explanation that immense amounts of electricity is not only the cure, but quite possibly also the vaccine for C-diff!"

Unknown Soldier: "I'm not sure if that makes any logical sense?"

Benjamin Franklin's Ghost: "The Grim Reaper is a guy who likes to dress up like a metro-sexual douche and should kill literally every single person that he touches. Yet, he still tosses around his infant daughter up in the air like an orangutan would its own young. Does that make sense?"

Unknown Soldier: "You're absolutely right Benjamin, so basically, what you are trying to say that in order for me to even have a remote chance at catching C-diff I have to make sure that Ghost Tank doesn't shove that electrified dildo up my ass!"

Benjamin Franklin's Ghost: "Precisely.... and also, if he wants to also ensure that he never catches C-Diff, he may want to willingly let you shove that electric dildo up his ass without even putting up a fight. Either way, we need to make sure that it doesn't happen to you so that you potentially can catch C-Diff!"

Unknown Soldier: "Holy mother fucking shit Benny Boy, I better get practicing then!"

Benjamin Franklin: "Look in the top drawer of that desk over in the corner, I brought you a little something that I can help you train with."

Soldier obliges to his request and pulls out of the drawer a giant kite with an even more giant metal dildo tied to its string. Soldier smiles sadistically and skips out of the room, Benjamin Franklin's Ghost hovering closely behind him.