Hell incarnate for us most certainly awaits. No seriously, that's where we're apparently heading as we now head to (Broom Cam)™ on the tip of Hillary Clinton's flying mop. The view of the vast beautiful scenery unwrapping in a point of view shot in front of our eyes is enough to take one's breath away. Fields of green trees and swarms of blue lakes and rivers soar past our view at an incredibly fast rate. Blends of bright colors generously glide past at first glance. The panoramic shot of peer joy then abruptly coupled with the howling from the future United States democratic presidential nominee rambling on and on something about giving ObamaCare to illegal immigrants. Together we soar and fly through the vast outstretches of the void with Mrs. Clinton like a graceful, yet demonic, witch. We notice that she is alone and must have become separated from our dastardly villain; Unknown Soldier, over the span of the few days we've spent away from the 'Demon Dicked Defiler'. Most likely spending her time away promoting her own campaign for presidency by performing her latest evil witch magic tricks. Making emails vanish without a trace.

The bright colors slowly begin melding and fading to form a more darker hue that progresses slowly from a lime green to a murky blue. Eventually fading into a grey and finally fading out to complete black and nothingness. Then, for a period of twenty seconds or so, some type of funky 80's disco ball tie-dye like acid trip looking vortex cone tunnel of bright and obscure colors slingshots past our view. Immediately followed by a sight that gives true meaning to the word horror. Mountains of overflowing lava filled volcanoes spit heavy clouds of dark soot high into the air for as far as the (Broom Cam)™ can see. Wretched and vile looking packs of massive gargoyles swoop by menacingly, each carrying within their talons a series of varopis human and livestock corpses. Dropping them from the sky and passing them back and forth to one another, which eventually transpires into a feeding frenzy type scenario right before our eyes with blood being spew across the sky like a red fireworks show.

Hillary wails a wicked and ear piercing screech which evidently summons a horde of flesh eating bats that plummet in from above for the scraps left in the sky. Nibbling at the bits of left over flesh like a fish testing the taste of a worm. As we make our way past the blood orgy in the sky and fly past an area where the mountains of fire and melted rock conform to a wall composed completely of human bones. A bone wall built into and integrated in the mountains themselves protects a dark castle rising high above a series of mountains with 6 layers, followed by 6 rows of bone walls on each layer, and then 6 rivers of hot boiling lava surrounding the base of each new layer. Basically, this place is like Mordor times 666 and even Samwise the strong would shit himself if he seen it. Mrs. Clinton is much more fortunate traveling by broom, otherwise it could take forever to climb that many mountains and cross that many streams of scalding fire on foot. Her broom quickly flies us directly up to the castle front and brings us directly up to this dark ominous murder mansion. It too, is so massive in size and abominable by nature that you can't hardly wrap your mind around its existence as it all unfolds before your very eyes.

The gates open slowly as Mrs. Clinton glides her way on up towards the giant metal doors opening and allowing her entry. Paying great homage in this scene to the flight of the Nazguls to Isengard. Just before gaining entrance to the towering fortress, a black marble plaque with red lettering carved into it hangs directly above the last few steps before heading inside. It reads 'SATAN! Sanctuary'. The feed to the (Broom Cam)™ suddenly is cut and we are left abandoned in a brief moment of darkness. Moments later, we are greeted by the horrific face of what we can only describe as possibly being the most disgusting mutant to ever exist, even for a place this unholy and depraved.


"Welcome back once again you brainless television watching zombies, to another episode of Anderson O'Reilly 360° Factor Fuck My Ass Fun Time! I'm your completely one hundred percent, always and forever, neutral talk show host. Here interviewing for you live from the stronghold of SATAN! Sanctuary; the newest candidate in the XWF elections, Unknown Soldier!"

The camera pans back to show Unknown Soldier sitting on a thrown sewn together from the skins of all the creatures and humans preyed upon by the gargoyles and bats. Our host, on the other hand, sits on a measly chair meant for a toddler in a preschool room opposite of him. Behind Soldier and over his left shoulder is a giant room that opens all the way from the bottom floor to the ceiling of the castle. A giant fountain of blood continuously flows like a waterfall from it's top, down into an enormous fountain on the basement floor. Which then regurgitates that blood through the giant fountain and gushes it all over the ground floor where hundreds of slaves people are seen using it to bathe in like a shower. Sticking her big fat witch nose over his other shoulder and leaning in closely to the interview, is our infamous witch friend Mrs. Hillary Clinton. Her tongue flickers out of her mouth like a snake approximately every thirty seconds.

"Welcome to the show Mr. Soldier, it's a pleasure to have you and we want to thank you for letting us be a guest in your home and campaign headquarters."

"Yes, thank you for inviting me to your show Bill, it's a pleasure to be here as well. Mr. Donald Trump thinks he can intimidate and impress people by holding his interviews in his expensive Trump tower in New York. Well, take a look at my superior SATAN! Sanctuary and tell me this doesn't say intimidating as fuck. Make XWF Rape Again!"

"Which brings us to our first question and probably the most important of your campaign. If you were elected, would you in fact force all XWF competitors to compete in rape type scenario matches?"

Unknown Soldier: "It's not rape without force, Wolf. Duhh! You're not going to stump me on the first question."

"But you didn't really answer my question and kind of danced around it like most politi...(interrupted)"

Unknown Soldier: "EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! Can I be allowed to answer the question?!"

"Um.... Yes, please by all means."

Unknown Soldier: "Yes."

"Let's get right into the second most important thing to talk about in any political debate besides the candidates sick lifestyles. That of course being the polls."

Unknown Soldier: "The first polls just came out the other day and I'm leading in all 666 of them. I have nothing factually accurate to back that up, but you all are going to believe it because I'm smart, I'm strong, and I have an enormous penis."

"Mr. Trump has been quoted many times out of context as saying that Mexicans are rapists. Do you have any comment on that?"

Unknown Soldier: "I find that comment very offensive Bill, and it's because it's important to note that their are plenty of other good rapists out their that are not Mexican and we shouldn't be neglecting the great accomplishments that they've done. The XWF needs good rapists of all ethnic races and not just strictly Mexicans."

"Mr. Trump has also said that he wants to ban all Muslims. What kind of reaction do you have to a comment like that?"

Unknown Soldier: "Another example of his pure stupidity and utter ignorance, Wolf. I actually hear that Muslims are doing a tremendous job of raping and pillaging all over the world. Why would the XWF want to ban access to someone that could be an incredibly useful commodity to the company? It just makes no sense, Bill."

"The biggest part of Mr. Trump's platform is him being able to create jobs. What's your plan of action to create jobs here in the XWF?"

Unknown Soldier: "My plan is quite simple, Wolf. With more murder, torture, rape, and utter and complete mayhem, the XWF is going to need more medics and doctors to keep the wrestlers in the ring and not on the injury report. Thus, also allowing us to increase spending on health care. I also heard that the recent Universal Title Match between Peter and Vinnie alone needed 666 shit shovelers, so the possibility exists for the endless creation of many new and exciting jobs right here in the XWF!"

"Now that we've berated you with a bunch of questions about your opponent, I think it's time we move forward to a few actual XWF policy questions. A lot of people are saying that you've recruited Hillary Clinton to aid in your campaign because of your inability to draw women voters. Recent statistics actually show that women prefer not to be raped, and that your recent and past atrocious behavior towards women draws them away from your campaign. What can you say to women to make them form a better opinion of you?"

Unknown Soldier: "I'll make a promise to every XWF woman in the past, present, and future; that they will receive one free ticket for a ride on Peter Gilmour's super dick. Also, I would like to add that Mrs. Clinton was not recruited and simply is going to just stand menacingly over my shoulder like that fat rat bastard Chris Christie does for Mr. Trump."


"Keeping with the female theme, their has been a lot of talk around the XWF about which girl is better hotter. Starr or Star. Would you care to weigh in on that discussion?"

Unknown Soldier: "If it were up to me we would just settle the issue with a Literal Lesbian Match and quickly end any and all debates. With this match stipulation, we are then not only fortunate enough to answer the one and only important question about them regarding their appearance; but we also give the XWF fans the only type of match that they would actually want to see these two in. Kill two birds with one stone."

"You recently stated at your last rally that you're welcoming other roster members of the XWF to join your 'SuperFecalpheliactic ExtraRapeydocious' party such as frodo, Shane , and Morbid Angel. How do you plan on bringing people into the party that you don't always agree with and often engage in physical altercations?"

Unknown Soldier: "Because Bill, I'm the only candidate that to this day, and forever will until the end of time, stand for absolute freedom."

"I believe your view on letting all the crooks and thieves into the XWF contradicts a hard stance on the jewish population that Morbid Angel would rather just seen eradicated."

Unknown Soldier: "You gotta' learn to compromise Wolf in situations like these, I'm sure we could work out some kind of arrangement where the jews could train for their wrestling matches at some super secret special camps somewhere."

"How do you feel about the return of Tony Santos?"

Unknown Soldier: "I didn't see his first promo, but let me guess, does drink drank drunk pretty much sum it up?"

"Robbie Bourbon has come out of left field and declared that he will be the one walking out of Warfare with the Xtreme Championship. Who do you think will win it?"

*winks sadistically*

Unknown Soldier: "If that were true, then why they hell wouldn't he take his super time traveling device straight to the future immediately after he won the belt. Well, I think it's blatantly and unequivocally obvious that it is because that point in time never exists! You might argue that you wanted to re live your moments with frodo in the ring together this Wednesday by delivering numerous bukkakes and cumfiestas, or whatever it was you were rambling on and on about. Or rather, my guess is you traveled back in time to the last point you were even remotely a sliver of a bit relevant. The day you even got to stand in the ring with the Unknown Soldier."

"Your opponent this week, Liddle J, still hasn't even come out and cut a promo to announce what type of stipulation will be used in your match tomorrow night. How do you think the XWF should rectify this situation?"

Unknown Soldier: "I think the only proper thing to do would be to penalize this pussy by instead letting my new match stipulation be used, so that everyone in the XWF can see what type of platform we will be running this campaign on. I fucking dare the XWF to make this match a 'Crucifixion through the Colon' stipulation. Two giant wooden crosses will be outside the ring, and whomever ends up impaled through the anus, set on fire, and crucified in front of a live XWF audience loses the match!"

"That's all the time we have for today, thank you for joining us and good luck in your match and in the upcoming XWF elections Mr. Soldier."

Unknown Soldier: "Thanks for having me Bill, and remember we're going to 'Make XWF Rape Again' and it's going to be fucking fantastic!"

Scene fades out to Soldier and Mrs. Clinton making out and groping one another.