Once upon a Time, in the Kingdom of X...
There was a dominant King.
Master of the realm's arena.
Twice crowned its greatest champion.
Twice he'd claimed the Kingdom by conquest.
But when time came to rule the Kingdom he had won?
He disappeared.
The Kingdom he'd conquered, once the greatest among the lands...
Found its gates surrounded by raiders...
Plunderers...
Vultures...
The Common Man united in one shared voice, beseeching this great warrior King...
Save us, O King!
Command your armies!
Lead your charge!
Defend your people from its enemies!
...But the people's cries fell on deaf ears.
And the commonfolk suffered... As music played...
In the House of the King.
This song is wonderful, my King!
Twas your favorite when at the Velvet Rabbit Tavern?
Regale us with another tale of your salacious conquests!
Your insatiable thirst for mead!
And ladies of ill-repute!
Sire!
Noooooo... Send him away, my King...
Sire! The Usurper Gorgo's army has stormed our gates!
They terrorize your people! They pillage your realm!
Commoners... Their concerns beneath thee, Sire!
Order him leave!
...Be...gone...
Sire! The Kingdom is in peril! One mu-
The Black Rainbow! They've reached the castle gate!
You men, with me!
Thank Heavens! I thought they'd never leave!
My sweet, perfect King.
Another libation?
From your artificer's wondrous invention!
Another marg-of-rita, Sire!
Soon, you shall gain my father's blessing... King Adey-
...
Pardon me. Title just changed.
I mean my father, King SHARK.
And we shall be together for all etern-!
Hey, Kiki.
Oh, scuzi.
Think I'm supposed to...
Bow.
Gasp!
The Blaggard!
Micheal of House Graves!
...Allegedly!
...Not this time.
Just ol' Flynn.
Nice castle, Koala.
...Little...
Spacious.
Not many neighbors, I see.
This scoundrel's presence detracts from your greatness, My King!
Slay him!
...
No, please, Kingy poo...
Don't get up on my account.
This ain't a social call.
Real nice... palace you got here.
...Hey!
That a margarita machine?
You lush! This doesn't even fit the time period!
The fiend doth mock your home furnishing selections, my Liege!
...
Bet you're wondering why I'm here, Kickles.
Well.
My people told me they need a King.
A champion.
One to inspire them to take back their lands.
...
Of course.
We both know you ain't the 'inspiring' kind of leader.
A true leader? Would uplift his people.
A REAL leader? Celebrates his subjects.
An actual FUCKING leader wouldn't have left the lands of Warfare and Anarchy...
To become the playground of Gorgo and her misfit army.
Aurora. The one you called 'wannabe Queen'.
Is actually fighting for her people.
While 'YA BOY' sits on his ass...
In his little mental safespace.
Licking his wounds, sipping imaginary margaritas.
That's what disgusts me about you, Kieran.
It ain't your lifetime membership to Medieval Times Daydreams.
It's this idea you champion.
That wrestling is a zero-sum game.
That little Miss Kieran's gotta be be the center of goddamn attention.
You run entirely on spite.
You hired someone to artificially inflate Lexi Gold's promo views...
Just so I wouldn't have the all-time most-viewed Madness promo?
You won the King of the XWF tourney back-to-back years...
Cuz FUCK everyone else who dreamed of making this place better.
Congratulations, Kiki.
You vain, petulant CHILD.
Two years.
Back-to-back.
And your coronation day.
Gorgo came...
Saw.
And lopped your fucking head off.
...
See.
That's what you've never understood about being King, Kieran.
It's not just beating everybody...
It's about LEADING.
NURTURING.
GUIDING the next generation.
...Admittedly, we've both failed there.
I've been... a Herod.
Slaying infants in their crib for decades...
...I'm ashamed of my past.
I'm here to atone.
That my son might see a better world.
...
You, however?
STILL stunt the next generation's growth.
They sought the crown?
You kept it from them.
They sought your leadership?
You abandoned them.
And that power vacuum... Leads to monsters like Gorgo.
I know.
Because I was once like her.
You know, Kiki. You were there.
ALIAS disappeared. I snatched the Universal title...
Like someone just left it on the roadside.
Lies and slander, my King!
]...Well. True. I was once his.
But nevermore!
Space Jesus abandoned the throne...
And I... before becoming a 'GOOD GUY'...
Ruled this land with an iron fist.
...
That's the difference between us, Kickles.
Conquering the Kingdom's easy.
Ruling? That's the test of a true King's mettle.
One that you've failed... MISERABLY.
Strike him down, My Liege!
He insults your greatness!
While we're at it, Kiki...
What's WITH this 'Princess Universia' garbage?
'She' ain't a princess.
It's a goddamn belt!
Noooooooooooo!
Nine pounds of metal and leather.
Redesigned every time a new 'King' becomes her 'daddy'.
And over your little adventure... Her lineage changes over-and-over...
Because...
To you?
'She'? Is the XWF.
To win her? Is to win the land.
...
I'm the first to admit: I'm obsessed with titles...
...
But I've never...
Through the art of fanciful allegory...
Tried to stick my dick in a title belt.
The Land of X is not its top prize.
It is its people.
And they are SUFFERING.
PLEADING for their King to rise up!
Even the runner-up to your crown...
Who's risen to stop Gorgo in your stead.
Says it's YOUR place to defend this Kingdom...
...
Because they don't know you like I do, Kiki.
They can't see...
You.
Will.
Let.
Them.
Down.
...
I've come to bury you, Kieran.
Not to praise you.
The people can't see the Emperor has no clothes.
That their King? A fatted calf, prime for slaughter at Gorgo's hands...
...
The Land of X's only chance?
Revolution.
The advent of the monarchy's reckoning.
With no King.
The people will see the truth.
That they have the power within themselves to fight.
That they need no King.
...
I was banished from my post as Union Co-President.
But, I will NEVER stop being an advocate for my people.
Even if it means I must be the one...
To save them from you.
...
The King is dead.
Long Live the Land of X.