After TWELVE hours of insults, death-threats, and blood-magic…
With Mark Flynn, Wrestling-Union Co-President, fighting tooth-and-nail, keeping conversation solution-oriented…
…Finally, the Vampire Council and Vampire-Truckers near resolution!
Mediator Flynn records the proposal…
”Okay! Deal terms…” Flynn raises his draft.
”Five-percent power re-allocation… to the Vampire-Truckers!”
”Vampire-Truckers agree, in exchange… twenty-four months, no strikes. The Council’s shipping routes’ll run like clockwork. If you’ll both si-”
”Unacceptable.”
Both sides burst into bickering!
Al, lead Vampire-Trucker, quells his coven.
”Parasite! YOU proposed these terms!”
”After reconsideration? Insufficient. Trading one-twentieth of the Council’s power for TEMPORARY relief… If, perhaps, this waiver were… permanent.”
”You kidding?!? Collective action’s our only defense! I ain’t SELLING our shield for CRUMBS!”
”Greedy. Five-percent would sufficiently increase your power.”
”It’s one-QUARTER of our initial demands! WE don’t own European castles! We RENT! D’yaknow how bad inflation affects RENT when you’re IMMORTAL!?!”
”Your plight moves me.” Damian rubs his fingers together.
”I shall play you a dirge… on my microscopic harpsichord.”
”GUYS!” Flynn interrupts…
Flynn spins on the Council Leader.
”Dame! *YOU* PROPOSED THIS! TWO MINUTES AGO!”
”Afterwards, I found it… unsatisfactory.”
”WHEN I WROTE IT DOWN!?!”
”Mister Flynn, if mediating *exhausts* you… Perhaps… President Graves could step-in.”
”Keep your fangs on, Drac… STARTIN’ AGAIN!”
”Alright…” Flynn reads…
”Four-and-ONE-QUARTER-percent to the Truckers…”
”And the Council shall open a position, for a Vampire-Trucker representative. Who needs a pen?”
”Unacceptable. Our Council has NEVER admitted a vampire less-than-FIVE generations from our originator! Tradition deman-”
”FUCK tradition! You FREAKS meet surreptitiously to SCREW Working Vamps! We DEMAND representation! Transparency!”
”Tensions… rising… Perhaps ‘mediator-substitution’ would soothe proceedings...”
Flynn rips the draft, eyeing Damian furiously.
Flynn’s teeth grind.
Scrawling so hard, blood oozes beneath his fingernails.
…He finishes.
”OKAY… Terms ar-”
”Unacceptable.”
”FFFFFFFFFUCK.” Flynn frisbees the draft!
”…So… emotional. If only Micheal Graves were here…”
Flynn stares daggers at Damian!
”Ohhhhhh, you want GRAAAAAAAAVES?!? Careful whatchu ffffFFFFFFFUCKING WISH FOR!”
Flynn storms out!
…
WHAM!
Wrestling-Union Co-President ‘Micheal Graves’ KICKS-IN the door!
”ALRIGHT!”‘Graves’ points at Damian.
”YOU PASTY COLONEL-SANDERS-LOOKIN’ FFFFFFFU-!”
”Hold.”
…Damian performatively strokes his chin.
”Graves’s words… move me.”
”Give the thin-bloods their demands.”
…Damian extends his hand…
…Al begrudgingly shakes.
Newscameras flash!
…‘Graves’... squints perplexedly…
At Flynn’s storage-unit, Irwin opens a newspaper.
Headline…
| GRAVES ENDS VAMPIRE-TRUCKER STRIKE! |
Subtitle…
”It’s CONFOUNDING, Ir-dawg! THREE DAYS! Coordinating deals… Carefully tuning power scales…”
Flynn puts up an ‘O’.
”ZERO movement. But, ‘Graves’ waltzes in? Deal’s done before he’s SAT DOWN!”
”Surprised?” Miss Furry, ‘Graves’-Student, interrupts, pouring a waterjug over her drinking-bowl.
”Student Flynn, vampiric mediation’s like… herding cats. But, Master Graves, found the fe-LINE linking thei-!”
Flynn dips a finger in Furry’s bowl… flicking water on her nose!
”HISS!” Furry retreats, dropping the bowl!
”It was BIZARRE, Ir-wig. One moment… a battle of WILLS. A CAGEMATCH.”
“...Then… one side just… taps-out?!?”
”Odd! But, great press for the Wrestling Union!” Irwin lifts the newspaper.
”This article says ‘Graves’ managed a mediation miracle! The truckers get power, Council representation, AND they keep their option-to-strike!”
”It’s proof you and… ‘Graves’…” Finger-quotes.
“Really can achieve the impossible!”
”...You’re right, Irmano.” Flynn’s eyes narrow.
”That deal was… impossibly good…”
”...Something wrong, Mister Flynn?”
”Ir-winner, way-back-when, they called me ‘Free-Win’ Flynn.”
”I know better than ANYONE…”
“A free-win only comes…”
“When your opponent’s *actually* playing a different game.”
”Ohhhhhh! D’ya’think the Council’s playing chess while the Truckers play checkers?”
”All I know? If the Council’s allowing an Operation to slice their Monopoly, they must consider the Trucker’s demands… a Trivial Pursuit.”
”The Council’s taking a Risk, thinking long-term Stratego?”
”…Perhaps.”
”Sounds like Trouble!”
”Okay, enough boardgame puns.”
”Sorry!”
”IRWIN.”
KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK.
”...When’d we install a knocker?”
Flynn opens his door…
Outside…
Damian…
Vampire Council Leader…
Grinning.
”May I… enter?”
Y’ever feel like you’re being played?
A pawn in another’s game?
…Well, ‘course *you* do, Powers.
Billion-dollar Victim of Thaddy Warbucks’s market-manipulation.
Thad STRIPPED everyone’s X-Bux…
AND STOLE your resurrection-based healthcare.
…Didn’t Theo PROMISE post-retirement…?
Quote:All roster members will keep their health insurance…
Guess Pryce’s Exit Promises were ALL… “less-than-ironclad”.
…See.
THIS is the Union’s opponent.
CORPORATE MALFEASANCE.
YOUR hard-earned money?
YEARS of bloody, sweaty labor?
Wiped in an INSTANT.
Because Management could.
That’s the power differential between US and THEM.
That’s why WE.
MUST.
UNITE.
…
But, somehow…
Powers…
ROBBED BY CORPORATE GREED!
Who should be leading the Revolution’s battle-cry!
…
Thinks the problem…
Is us Revolutionaries…
‘Commies’
I guess it’s anti-capitalist…
To be FURIOUS.
Over Theo Pryce’s DOOFUS NEPHEW.
ROBBING US BLIND.
…
Sure.
Thad Duke sets EVERYONE’S employee accounts to ZERO.
But, somehow, YOU’RE the *only* victim here.
And The Revolution’s the problem.
Dick.
Or…
Richard now?
The FUCK happened, Powers?
Once the XXXWF’s vibratingnt dynamo.
The hot-pink, King-of-Kink.
Quote:it doesn't matter what happens because I do my job of making the audience have a great time, I make the wrestlers laugh, I have fun and others love that!
Now?
You’re a shriveled, flaccid micro-worm.
The Lord of Lovin’... Consumed-by-hate.
Your heart’s hardened… Something else went soft.
…
Your connection with the fans.
You *were* the People’s Dick.
Now? You’re just an ASSHOLE.
Quote:That's why people are scrambling for Dick and why no one gives two-fucks-and-a-duck about you...
Richard.
…
Powers.
Robbed by the Powers-That-Be.
Duke, Principle, Gold, Masterson…
Playing XWF’s Monopoly…
Flaunting their funny-money.
While emptying the talent’s pockets.
THEY roll the dice.
But, somehow, WE end up paying rent.
…
You’re a businessman, Dick.
Editor-in-Chief, Dick Powers Quarterly.
Lemme pitch…
The Revolution.
The OPPORTUNITY!
To USURP these POWER-HUNGRY MORONS.
And return POWER to WRESTLERS.
…
Let’s play, Dick.
OUR game.
Not theirs.
*They* want US battling each-other.
For THEIR gold trinket.
One THEY’VE established THEY can strip from us…
Whenever it tickles them.
…
You’re broke, Dick.
So, I’ll demonstrate the Revolution’s power.
Free-of-charge.
In fact, The Revolution’ll GIVE you TWO things Sunday.
One?
The most one-sided ASS-KICKING of your ENTIRE CAREER.
Then?
A hand.
Helping you RISE!
Off the mat.
Into the Revolution.
…
C’mon, 'Rich'.
You're a
Dick.
Stop getting fucked.
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