STARtender Lounge || Velvet Rabbit ||  New York City

The days fly by and more often than not, I have no time to wrap Tuesday before Wednesday creeps up.  For the last couple years, I've donated my time on Wednesday evenings to charity.  The Velvet Rabbit isn't your typical charitable establishment, but I've been in pretty tight with Candace Page for almost as long as I've known her.  So tight, that we've partnered on business ventures on more than one occasion.  That partnership, combined with my own dedication, has grown her Wednesday night business fourfold.  I never halfass anything.  I'm either all in on something, or I just don't do it.  My efforts, my personality, have garnered the Velvet Rabbit an almost cult-like following on a night that wouldn't normally see that kind of business.

I suppose it helps that I'm easy on the eyes and nice to look at, but I'm not really the body shot kind of guy.  I've allowed them from time to time if they're paying enough, but my time with the Rabbit isn't normally sexual in nature.  Granted, I realize the contradiction.  A place that sells sex appeal has a STARtender that doesn't typically partake in the pseudo pleasures of the flesh.  No, I do not prostitute myself in that regard.  Instead, I've dedicated myself to putting my hectic life on hold for 8 hours a week in order to raise money for a number of different causes that are near and dear to my heart.  I'm so dedicated to the things I do, that I went and became a certified mixologist, just for my charity work.

Life, as you know, hasn't exactly been the smooth ride people think I have of late.  My marriage is a signature away from being dissolved entirely and my vengeful, spiteful, vindictive 13 year old adopted son has morphed into a little tyrant.

That was my mistake.  I'll fix that when I can, but tonight, something else, or more appropriately, someone else is on my mind.

”Heyyy,” I greeted her warmly from behind the bar.  ”Have a seat, I'll be right with you.”

She has been there for me since this divorce saga began.  Day or night, she never failed to answer if I called or sent a text.  Not once has she not shown up at my door if she felt like I was being distant or quiet.  She's been absolutely what I've needed these last few months and I could thank her a million times in a row and it still wouldn't be enough.

Lucy Wylde came into my life via Seb Bryce.  She was his friend.  Ha!  I remember when I first learned of her how we'd pretend we were jealous of the attention Seb would give the other.  That was even before we ever met in person.

We had met a few times in Seb's vicinity and we were always cool with one another.  Things though… they took a turn in Arizona and I'd be a fool to deny it any longer.

”Take your time,” Lucy said as she sat upon a barstool that I have reserved specifically for her of late.

We exchanged a glance and a smile before I went about my job.

”I'm on break in a few,” I informed her as I continued slinging drinks around the bar.  One might think that once the girls and guys on stage go on break that the bars would be busier.  Quite the opposite actually.  That's the time when everyone takes the opportunity to relieve themselves or lie to their partners that their meetings are running late.

For the last few months, Lucy has come to hang out and shoot the breeze as I've worked on almost every single Wednesday night.  As I said, something shifted in Arizona.  No, we never did anything like Seb tried to suggest on Twitter.  But we did grow far closer as we hung out that night.

---

Since being back in New York, Lucy’s made it a point to come out to the Rabbit every Wednesday night to support Thad.  All things considered, he’d become somewhat of a fixture in her life, especially after she and Rogan…  Well, after Rogan asked her to leave and stopped answering her calls. 

While she felt like she should be alone, you know, that whole self punishment thing - Thad made it easy to decide not to be.  To be completely fair, the times she spent with Seb and Thad made it so much easier for Lucy to exist, they didn’t even know.  They made her forget her guilt, if only for a few hours at a time.

Lucy didn’t like being alone. 

She never had.  Something, something bad childhood… Something, something failed relationships… At the end of the day, Lucy just couldn’t handle being alone.  This time, like so many times in the past, however, she herself was the curator of her own torture.  She was the reason Rogan wouldn’t acknowledge her existence.  She was the reason something so beautiful was torn to shreds.

A story for another time, perhaps.

Suffice it to say, Thad had become someone she’d come to appreciate more and more, the longer they knew one another.  He was a stable presence at a time when she felt so completely unstable.  He didn’t judge, instead, he welcomed her with open arms and from what Lucy could tell, he genuinely enjoyed her presence.  She could say the same about him, without hesitation.

Especially after Wrestlestock. Before that, they’d only spoken in passing. They were two sides of the Sebastian Everett Bryce BFF coin and all was well.  But a week in the Sonoran Desert with nothing to do but get to know one another better…

Things changed.  She wasn’t exactly sure why, or how.. But they had.

So there she was, sitting in her usual spot - watching Thad do his thing.  She had to give it to him, the boy knew how to make a drink.  It really was no wonder the place was so busy, and it only seemed to get busier.

“I’m on break in a few.”

He said as he stood in front of her for a fleeting moment, but before she could respond he was off taking care of other customers.  She smirked as she watched, and maybe she felt her stomach do a little flip in her gut when she remembered their little twitter interaction from the day before.  He didn’t really want the answer to that question, did he?

She felt a bit of pink rising to her cheeks just as she glanced up again to find Thad looking at her.  He smiled and went back to what he was doing, and she reached up, faintly touching her cheeks before letting her hands drop back down to the bar, shaking her head.

“..Shit.”

Lucy muttered to herself.  She hadn’t even had a drink yet. 

---

”Okay,” I said as I washed my hands in the sink below the bar almost directly in front of Lucy.  ”You have my undivided attention for fifteen minutes,” I said with a smile.

”Busy night,” she observed.

”Abnormally so,” I laughed.  ”Hey, would you wanna dance with me?”

”Sure,” she said as she set down her fresh drink that she barely touched.

Grabbing her glass, I swallowed the rest almost instantly.  Candace runs a credible and strict establishment, but even so, you don't ever leave a drink unattended.

Plus… I needed some liquid courage.

After coming around the bar, I grabbed her by the hand and led her across the way to the dance floor.  Not many people dance during act breaks, but I do.



”Y-you know I wanted to thank you,” I said as we began to sway.

”For what?” she asked.

”You've honestly been the best damn friend through all of this,” I began.

”I try,” she chuckled.  ”Your hands are sweaty.”

Welp… here goes nothin’!  I'm nothing if not a risk taker.

”These last months, I've never really been happier than when I'm with you,” I began as we continued to slow dance.  ”When I first got those papers, Lucy I felt like a shell of myself.  The life I worked so hard to build just shattered in an instant.

“And I…” The words caught in my throat.  What the hell is happening?

”You what?”

”I-I just mean that…” again, the words caught in my throat.

”You're nervous!” she said playfully.  ”Where'd all your self assured confidence go, Big Shot?”

”I think I swallowed it with your drink,” I joked back.  ”What I'm trying to say…”

We suddenly stopped swaying.  Lucy looked up at me.

TAKE!

THE FUCKING!

SHOT!

Thad, you imbecile!

”I really enjoy our time together,” I finally found some words.  ”I don't expect any kind of long term commitment here Lucy.  But I really fuckin’ like you.

“I mean, if I'm wrong I'm gonna look like an idiot,” I joked.  ”But I feel like it's mutual.  So I was wondering… when I leave tonight, if you might wanna come with me?”

---

As cliche as it sounds, she felt like time had stopped in that moment.  There she stood, her mind racing around a few simple sentences and one heavy, heavy question as everything around them became a distant echo. 

Suddenly, she felt the warmth of his hand on the small of her back and it rivaled the heat in her cheeks as she tried to look anywhere but directly into his eyes.  Not because he’d said anything wrong, but because she… She didn’t expect it.  She never expected anything, but certainly not this and part of her was terrified of what she’d see if she did look into his eyes.

Her heart was racing, and for a moment she contemplated releasing her grip on his shoulders.. She thought about taking a step back and assessing what the implications of his question would mean. 

There was a moment, one fleeting moment that Rogan crossed her mind and in that one moment she thought about the love, and the things they’d been through - but as quickly as that thought came, Lucy’s eyes met Thad’s and her thoughts were thrust right back into the moment.

This moment where she felt appreciated, needed - like she belonged.  Like she was allowed to feel comfort, friendship, companionship and it was okay to let go.  It was an odd feeling for her, but she felt relieved, like a great weight had been lifted off of her shoulders and she could just… be, even if it was just for a little while.

”Lucy?”

Lucy nodded her head, a soft smile playing over her lips. 

”Y-yeah, I think I’d like that.”

---

My heart raced in anticipation of her answer.  In my entire life, I have never, not even once been nervous about asking a woman out, or even asking for something more.  99 times out of 100, I'd hear a ‘yes.’  That might sound like a brag, but I don't mean it to be.  It's just a fact.  I know I have had more luck than most.  Certainly more luck than I deserve.  I'm a kind person.  I was born with certain gifts, and I don't mean physical gifts that I've been blessed with, but the gifts of being charismatic, of confidence, of a light hearted sense of humor, of passion, compassion, and empathy for others, of a fair amount of charm mixed with certain strength and most women find those traits appealing.  More often than not, I use those traits well.

Lucy was different though and I didn't entirely know why.  I felt myself blush as she answered.  Smiling at her, I felt nothing but peace.  Lucy was a kind soul.  Kinder than I felt I really ever deserved.  I'm a flawed man, and I've never pretended to be anything else.  I've grown to care deeply for her.

I hesitate to use the word ‘love.’  Love is a strong word that people tend to throw around at will and the word itself loses its meaning.  It is a type of love, to be sure.  Just not the ‘will you have my babies?’ kind of love, though she is without a doubt, certainly worthy of it.  We're both going through similar circumstances and I don't think either of us are looking for anything more than what we are now.  Friends that care deeply for one another in an undefined and unlabeled type of mutually supportive relationship that may end (at least on a romantic level) in a week, a month, whenever.

I get excited to see her. I get excited to spend time with her.  As I've mentioned, there's not much in my life these days to get excited about.  Lucy Wylde has been the lone exception to that rule.

”You're blushing,” she chuckled.

”You started it,” I fired back with a smile.  ”It's just that I don't really get nervous and for some reason, asking you made me nervous.

“The reciprocated feelings though, that's a nice bonus.”

The song would end soon and I wished it wouldn't.  She had a soft, delicate touch and I very much enjoyed feeling close to her.  I don't know what the future holds for either of us.  I do know that whatever she endeavors, I'd support her without a second thought.

Taking her by the hand, I led her across the way back toward the bar.  I'd resume my shift soon but for whatever the reason, I wasn't done staying close to her.  It wasn't a brisk walk, but a slow stroll.

”Next month,” I prefaced.  ”There's an XWF charity ball here in the city.  Might you wanna be my date?”

”I'd love to,” she replied with no hesitation.

I could feel myself blushing again.  ‘Lucy, what did you do to me?’ I thought.

”It's a kinda 50's theme and a lot of the ‘F'ers will be there,” I continued.  ”It should be a lot of fun.”

”If I had said no a minute ago,” she prefaced her own question as we stopped by the bar.  ”Would you have still asked me to this ball?”

”Yes,” I answered confidently as I looked into her eyes.  ”Even if you'd turned me down, that wouldn't have changed how I feel about you.”

Lucy smiled again and it was something I enjoyed.  Whatever demons or skeletons were hiding in her closet didn't make a difference to me.  She deserved to smile.  She deserved to laugh and be cared for.  Lucy deserved to have someone that would stand behind her, always.

In that instant, I knew what was different about her than most.  Yes, I have been ‘around’ so to speak.  It's not something I'm proud of and not something that I intentionally brag about.  Not all, but most of those I have been with, either casually or officially, I had never really established any sort of connection, let alone a deep one, before things progressed to another level.  Lucy was different because we did develop a deeper connection.

”You're staring,” Lucy cut through our silence with a wonderful smile.

”Maybe I just like looking at you.”

”Yeah?” she smiled again and blushed slightly.

”I think I’d…” I began, but never finished.  Throwing risk to the wind, I planted my lips upon hers.  For a brief moment before our lips touched, I almost expected her to shove me away and shoot me down.

She didn’t.

It felt great, honestly.  With all the shit with Lauren, I didn't think I'd even be interested in any sort of relationship for awhile, if at all.  I don't know what this is with Lucy.  It's difficult to just put a label on it, so maybe we just won't.  But for now, she and I will enjoy each other and ourselves for the first time in months.

Afterwards, I had to make my way behind the bar again.  I wished I didn't have to because now I just longed to be close to her.  Nevertheless, I made her a fresh drink and we went on like we normally would have.  Playful jests, friendly conversation, and no talk about what just transpired between us.

”You get to tell Sebastian.”

Except that.