The light side, and the dark side… it’s been torn between the two for what feels like a millenia.

From a shining, and naive beginning, it’s thrust into a curious world hopeful for a savior, and showered in a glowing adoration from the masses. The pale luminousness shimmering with the promise of revolution.

It was loved.

It triumphed…

but ultimately the darkness called…

Festering deep within its youthful fears and insecurities, every time the light was shown to be less than its promised vestige of serenity, a colorless void would beckon. And so all that was good, all that was true, all that was light was blotted into blackness, like a deep and smothering dye.

Year after year, stay after stay, run after run, it’s torn between this timeless dilemma. Drenching itself back into the radiance of peace, layer by layer. Washing away the drive for colorless passion and victory, to be enlightened for knowledge and harmony. Yet between each follicle it’s gripped by the strands of a charred hunger for strength and power. 

“I sense a great disturbance”

What’s wrong?

“Much fear I sense…”

Look, I ain’t fear’d of nothin-

“I’ve seen this before, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to… a chemical-”

The tall, square-jawed man standing behind Dolly’s barber chair begins shamelessly weeping into his hands. Tears seeping between the creases of his fingers as he sloppily cries out-

“-a Kimical K!”

A what?!

Dolly darts up from her chair, an incredulous rage in her tone. She’s donning a black barber gown around her frame, her hair gooed with bleach and toner and frayed away from her scalp like a character from the Munsters.

The goofy looking man pulls his slobbery hands from the surface of his blistered, and chiseled face, revealing him to be none other than Chris Appleton. The world renown celebrity hair stylist, a man who even if you don’t know, you do know… you see his prowess flexing in nearly every red carpet ceremony, through every highlight, every strand, and every follicle on the hairs of the well-to-do.

“I have to fix this!”

He sobs, pushing Dolly back down into her chair, and forcing her head under a sink. The cooling water flows from the faucet and in between the delicacies of her hairs, his fingers gently massaging out the bleach blond dye that has made an earnest attempt at overcoming the darkness of Dolly’s last transition.   

Fix what?!

Dolly pleads with a restless tone,

“I tried to tell you, baby! You can’t just jump from one color to the other-” Chris cries out, “-I just went through this with Kimberly!”

Woefully ignorant to what her hairstylist is babbling about, Dolly reflects on her current situation…

Having just been thrust back into the championship scene of professional wrestling’s biggest attraction- the XWF- she was in need of a reinvigorated look. The fans, and the industry as a whole, had repudiated her attempts of showing her darker, more menacing side, as represented by the former “Gypsy Queen”. The only option now was to return to her roots] as a young plucky underdog, doused in light. As any professional wrestler should know, upon return, one should re-enter the fray as a changed-being, studied on their former mishaps and ready to right the ship.

The sounds of the faucet spilling the cold water around her sends Dolly into a sensory shock. She can only barely grasp that Chris is muttering aloud while working through the next steps of his frantic process,  She hasn’t the slightest clue of why her hairstylist is acting so dramatic, his fingers caressing her scalp as he applies the toner to counteract the harsh rusty color left behind from the bleach. Instead all Dolly can think of is her upcoming match against Jason Cashe, a contest she hadn’t anticipated, but understood her role-in fully well.

The cagy, gold plated veteran of XWF versus a potential star of the future. Too many times Dolly has rolled over in situations like this, making new stars time and time again throughout the episodes of her career as a professional wrestler…


When she gave way to the New Hope: Jim Caedus
When Vinnie Lane’s Empire Struck Back with: Sarah Lacklan
When her Return was spoiled by: Corey Smith


But this time was to be different, this episode was to be a call-back to her humble beginnings. The fourth installment of a Television Title reign that would be immersed in nostalgia for a bygone era, one that fans might initially hurl rotten tomatoes toward, but come to love and appreciate as the shine of the new era wears off: The Phantom Menace.

The ability to speak doesn’t mean yer’ intelligent nor that I trust you, Chris, What, in THE fuck are you doing to my hair?

“I’m so sorry” Chris laments, with an exhausted breath of his voice, “Too damaged it is… we’ve rushed the process.”

What do you mean it’s too damaged? FIX IT!

“I can’t!” he cries as the sounds of the faucet ceases in a squeaky grave,

“I told you this was too quick of a transition- you can’t just switch from light to dark, then back to light again-”

The fuck we can’t, pal! We have to!

Chris looks like he’s been flattened by an Imperial AT-AT, with every piercing instinct of his professional experience being at odds with the hopes and wishes of his client…

The only way for me to bring the masses back to my side, to get the rub of the audience and of the bookers is to show that I’ve been willing to make a change. I went dark- -

“With a box of store-bought hair dye against my advice”

eh-eh! HUSH!

She cuts him off, raising her head from the sink,

This time has to be different, Chris. This has to be an unexplored callback to my abilities, to my original promise. I have to remind the fans, and the wrestling community as a whole what I’m capable of. I’m a box-office attraction, full of ability and promise, and I have to look it! So what the hell do you mean its too damaged and you can’t fix it??

Chris sighs and hangs his head. He grabs a nearby handtowel and tries to gingerly hand dry her hair without causing any breakage. “Sometimes the chemicals are too harsh when combating a box dye, which I tried to warn you about-” he mutters under his breath.

“Your hair is breaking off and not taking the toner. The best approach I can take from here is to do a full chop and cut all the dead off” he says gently, trying to avoid her flashing eyes and rising anger. “And then we’re going to have to figure out what to do about this color because I can’t leave it like this-”

Dolly cuts him off again, whipping around in her chair, Chris nearly yanking half of her hair out in the process.

Exfuckingcuse me?? You ain’t cutting my hair off Chris! What part of I’m the attraction didn’t get through your skull? You better figure it the fuck out because I ain’t leaving here looking like a fucking freak show!

“Okay okay let’s talk this through” Chris pleads. “I just went through something almost identical with another client, and we were able to get to a good place.” He fumbles around his workstation, trying to dispose of the evidence of what he just did to Dolly’s long locks. “We transformed her damage into an adorable pink-bob, and she loves it now!” his voice rising with trepidation with each word.

Dolly bites back irate. There’s no fucking way you’re chopping my hair off into a fuck ass pink bob. I won’t be made a laughing stock when I’m trying to redeem myself Appleton.

Chris shrinks back flustered. “What if we go visit her?! I’m sure she could convince you that this is the best way to remedy this?” He wrings his hands and silently pleads she’ll let him fix this.

Dolly looks towards the mirror, startled by the sight of herself. Her once long black hair was now frayed and fried, patches of orange and sickly looking yellow spread throughout. She could see where it was breaking all over. She reached up to touch it while Chris reached out to stop her. She slapped his hand away and started to pull on a wet strand. It quickly almost disintegrated with the slightest pull, immediately breaking off. Tears started to well up, but she forced them back and hardened her gaze at both Chris and herself.
     
The fu-

“Take you to her I will..”

… sometime later the duo arrives in Calabasas at Kim Kardashian’s house.

Dolly has her hair wrapped in a silk scarf in an attempt to avoid further breaking, sunglasses on to try to remain incognito. She slinks down in the car seat as Chris pulls up to the gate and tells security he’s there for a hair appointment with Kim.

They pull up the drive and head towards the door. Knocks and phone calls go unanswered, and Dolly grows more and more uneasy with this “rescue mission”.

“She’s usually a little difficult to get a hold of,” Chris nervously chuckles. “I’m sure someone will let us in shortly; they know we’re here.” He tries texting Kim, begging her to come to the door.

Dolly, unable to stand there idly, starts wandering around the side of the house where she hears barely audible humming. She looks up and sees Kim out on a balcony absent mindedly running her hands through her hair.

Dolly stops in her tracks shocked at what she sees.

Kim’s hair is sheered off, a dusty ugly looking pink shade. Her hands are pulling at each individual strand, the damaged stretch until it breaks visible even to Dolly who stares in abject horror. She watches as Kim, without even realizing it it seems, discards each clump, flicking them off her fingertips onto the ground below. Bald patches are starting to become apparent where Kim has pulled the breakage completely out of her head.

Oh my god

Kim looks down startled, seeing a poorly disguised horror stricken Dolly Waters with Chris Appleton running up behind her out of breath.

“Kim! Hi! I’ve been trying to get ahold of you, so sorry to show up like this,” Chris calls up to her terrified at what will befall next. He fidgets trying to keep his balance while keeping his composure at seeing what Dolly is seeing.

“Chris! I don’t have my phone with me, but that’s okay! What’s going on? Is everything okay?” Kim responds cheerfully although a bit hesitant with Dolly still staring at her shell shocked.

“Oh everything’s fine! There was just a bit of snafu at the salon today with my friend Dolly here, almost exactly like what we just went-” Chris starts.

Kim interjects quickly, “Oh there was no snafu here. You and I have created THE look of the summer.” She continues to run her hand over her hair, the motion pulling on the strands which already look like they’re fighting for dear life to stand intact. “What do you think, Dolly? I think this is going to be a show stopper, the newest and latest trend of the season.” Kim twirls a lock around her fingers, breaking off more with each twist.

Dolly attempts to find her voice to let Kim know exactly what she thinks of what she’s witnessing when Chris places his hand on her shoulder, moving her partially behind him.

“Chris did such an amazing job at transforming that old tired look. I’ve already been absolutely bombarded by the paparazzi. Its like they can’t give a girl a moment’s rest!” Kim continues to prattle on cheerfully, seemingly completely oblivious to what is actually going on on her head

Uh, yeah. I can’t believe what’s he’s done to you. She looks over to Chris with incredulity while he tries desperately not to make eye contact with her.

Kim continues to stroke her hair and twist it around, more and more clumps falling to the ground.

Dolly walks over to where the clumps are landing and sees the most unexpected sight. Michael Graves is there hiding in the bushes catching Kim Kardashian’s broken and damaged hair.

Graves, the man who last ousted Dolly for the Television Championship, her arch-nemesis, the bringer of the darkness some might say. In a moment of reflection upon this parody, Dolly can do little but think of how intertwined the scenario is.. Here she is, trying to complete the most minute tasks in preparation for her big in-ring return and she’s met with the quarrels that have stricken her career in the XWF since the onset.

Move to the light?

“Dolly, I can fix it, just like Kimberly!”

Or be consumed by the darkness?

[graves]Dolly!?[/graves] Graves spits out a mouth full of Kim Kardashian’s hair, startled by his former obsession’s presence [graves]I LOVE this new look, so edgy and unexpected![/graves]

She’s been in both places a time or two, and thrived in her own way.

A champion 10 times over in the XWF. A veteran by all respects, despite the fact that she’s now only twenty-one years of age.

EEEEKKKKKK!” Chris shrieks at the sight of Graves who begins approaching the two, his mangled jaw chewing on the strands of Kim’s hair like a glazed over cow eating hay in the pasture. Kim K, is still obtusely tearing hair from her skull and and dropping it on the ground while jiving to the latest pop culture phenomenon auto-tune heavy pop sensation.

“It’s a monster!” Chris cries, shakily pulling a canister of pepper spray from his pocket,

Dolly just frowns Eh… she sighs, It’s just Graves.

“WHO?!” Chris’s cries growing more desperate as Gravy approaches,

...it’s ok

Dolly lays a hand on Appleton’s shoulder to calm him, while her personified battle with the dark side approaches.

[gravy]YES![/graves]

Graves steps forward and pulls the scarf from Dolly’s head, fully revealing how mangled and damaged her hair is which has continued to break off despite her best efforts.

He proclaims, spitting some of Kim’s hair from his mouth, [graves]You’ve finally embraced the darkness.. The hideousness that lives deep within your soul![/graves]

Chris is aghast, partially ashamed for the state of Dolly’s unkempt, and sordid headwear.

“Don’t listen to him Dolly! I can fix you, just like Kim! Sure, you might be broken and empty… a summer sensation that the masses love long enough before realizing it’s all going to fall out! But You can fight with honor, with dignity, long enough for you to come up short again and everyone forget about you, moving on again as you-”

[graves]-EMBRACE IT DOLLY! YOU’VE NEVER BEEN MORE GLORIOUS![/graves]

Graves shrieks with joy pointing out Dolly’s disfigurement,

[graves]They’ll never love you unless you finally lean into the ugliness that’s deep, DEEP within your roots! Finally, be the monster the wrestling world has known you could be! Crush Jason Cashe in that trash compactor, and join me! Follow your heart into the darkness![/graves]

Dolly, overwhelmed and furious, pushes Graves and Chris away and storms off towards the road, ignoring their protests.

….several hours of wandering and pondering later, Dolly finds herself approaching a dog park. She sees a giant banner proclaiming an adoption event for the local humane society and makes a beeline for the cages. How apropos for her to find kinship here, other unwanted, unloved, and downtrodden creatures just wanting to be loved and cared for.

Dolly makes her way through the sea of people oohing and ahhing over the puppies and pulls her scarf a little tighter around her chin. She felt so uncomfortable in her skin, feeling like her identity was being forced away from her with no clue how to proceed.

She found herself walking towards this beautiful female merle pitbull laying lazily in the grass. Dolly bent down and immediately felt at home with this sweet girl, tail wagging furiously. She sat down next to her, petting her and whispering softly to her. hey there sweet thing. I know just how you feel. No home, nowhere to go, no one to love you. I’m trying so hard to get things back right and I just cain’t find my footing. What do i do pretty girl?

“Well what do you want to do?” A southern raspy voice breaks through Dolly’s foggy thoughts causing her to jump and look up startled.

Miley Cyrus? What are you doing here?

Miley laughs and squats down next to Dolly and the dog. “This here’s my event. I’m big into the rescue scene and try to help out the community by promoting these kinds of things. I see you found our girl Rey.” She reaches over and starts rubbing the dog’s belly, Rey obviously overjoyed at the attention. “You seem to be deep in thought. Everything going okay?”

Dolly looks around to see if anyone is watching them and decides why the hell not. She slides her scarf off cautiously and looks down with her hands in her lap. Tried to fix my hair up and get back to my old blonde roots and everything went to pot. That damn Chris Appleton screwed me over, and now I don’t know what to do. Do I cut it all off like he thinks I should, or do I leave it like this and hope for the best?

Miley really studies her hair gently touching the fraying ends. “What would be so bad about cutting it off?” She looks at her inquisitively while continuing to stroke Rey’s head.

Dolly sighs and shrugs. Feels almost like giving up. I’ve come too damn far and overcome too much to just roll over and take another defeat.

Miley laughs so hard and abruptly that Dolly started to feel a rise of anger. “Defeat? Darling its just hair. How much do you know about me?”

Dolly shrugs again, I reckon I know just about as much as anyone. Child star, pop sensation. You went through a pretty wild and psycho phase there for a bit which I gotta say I admired. I’ve been known to fuck shit up and throw some twists and turns in there myself.

She fidgets with the scarf in her lap and continues to look around worried what people are thinking of her. Sorry about all that shit you went through with that Hemsworth loser. No offense, but he seemed too much of a sissy prick for a hellion like you. But seems like you got your shit together and you’re doing alright now.

Miley laughed again this time more thoughtfully. “That wild and psycho phase really taught me something. I tried so hard to break free from that Disney image and really set myself apart, make a name for myself.” She tugged at the grass around them, Rey rolling around on her back smacking into Miley and Dolly’s legs.

“Remember my hair? Practically shaved it all off, and let me tell you something, the folks in my corner were real unhappy about that. Said it was a huge mistake and I’d regret it. Well let me tell you, letting go of my hair was the best thing I could’ve done. Reinvented me and really showed me not only who was on my side but what was actually important. Its just hair darling, and it’ll grow back.” Miley tugged at the ends of her wavy brown hair and waved them around.

“I say shave that shit off. Embrace yourself.”


I’ve crushed myself, time and again.

We see a robed figure, standing above the hilts of two lightsabers

Crushed...

crimped…

Burnt…

and revived…

and bleached and dyed…

all in such a maddening sequential manner that my predictability has become unrecognizable.

A tried and true trait paving the way for phantom stars who’ve long left this industry, leaving the question of who and what Dolly Waters is to be nothing more than a running joke headlined by inconsistency…

by imbalance…

The forces of light-

One of the lightsaber hilts ignites into a radiant blue beam,

and those of darkness-

The other, erupting into a menacing burst of redness

-both taking me for a ride that I willingly bought the ticket for.

No more.

The robed figure turns around, handling the blue and red saber with each hand before dropping the hood masking her head, leaving us all with a startling… somewhat melodramatic sight to behold:


May the fourth be with you Jason Cashe!

Because tomorrow night, you, and the whole world will be witness to what MAYbe the only FOURTH reign in XWF TV Championship history! Because little did you know, a phantom menace was always here, waiting, lurking in the shadows, ready to strike down the New Hope of this industry and take back what was always rightfully mine!

Victory!

Sustenance!

Truth!

Only this time, not for the righteousness and the friendships, and not for the wicked and the coffers, but for ME!

For Dolly Waters!

I know yer’ probably wondering at this point: why is she here? Why has Dolly returned at such a… problematic time in the infancy of my championship run?

Truth is, this is all I know, Jason.

Wrestling. Competing. The strife. The struggle. The sweat. The sacrafice.

At only 21 years of age, I’m what any objective wrestling-mind would categorize as a grizzled veteran between those ropes- and yet I'm, on average, half the age of the men and women I’ve brought down to their knees.

Isn’t this why my name carries such a weight along your shoulders?

Far more than any gold-laced leather strap, and far more than any contrived stable that you were conscripted to serve?

Let’s face it, the whole world knew what a sham that Trilogy was, and the ticking time bomb that was yer’ ultimate demise. It was in that moment, when you debuted with those glad-handed clowns Ned and Kido, that I lost respect for you Jason. Kido, another phantom champion, and Ned, a despicable opportunist, latched onto yet another supremely talented co-worker carrying his contrived story.

I knew it was a sham.

That you couldn’t be more diametrically opposed to the men you were MADE to call allies, all in the name of the GOOD, and RIGHTEOUS.. The LIGHT!

LAUGHABLE!

I’d say that’s why you left in the first place, yeah? Though pathetic as it was, it’s not something I’m unfamiliar with.

You’ve sniffed the fleeting stench of success in XWF, and have found it to be rudderless haven’t you? Nothing worth fighting for, right? Just like our arbitrary and aimless booking for what will be YOURS- not mine- BIGGEST match in yer’ career in XWF.

…inside of a fucking trash-can. No real stipulation to win.

Just don’t die.

Sure glad to see Theo is booking the TV Championship with it’s due honor these days. TRASH.

I’m back Jason, because I’m finally walking into this business on my terms. I’ve scalped away the roots of my stories of old, and am starting a new. Not to the left, not to the right, but in balance of who I truly am…

The most naturally gifted talent YOU or the XWF has ever seen.

I'm more than a namesake, I'm more than promise of revolution, more than a vestige of vengeance. I'm Dolly. The only 3 time TV Champion in XWF history, and soon to be, so aptly, the only four time champion, on May the 4th... in a trash can nonetheless.

Read the the card. There's no rules. No conditions. Just 15 minuets of you and me inside of some pit where they fancy us.

I've come back, and like most wrestlers after a hitus, I was booked where higher ups consider my bottom. You're my bottom Jason. Remember that when you see those walls closing in tomorrow.

2x KWA Unified Southern Glory Champion
6x KWA Middleweight Champion
4x KWA Tag Team Champion
1x XWF XTreme Champion


-Dumb Dolly records that no one cares about-

3x XTreme Champion
2x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles)
2x Hart Champion
3x Television Champion

3x Star Of The Month
August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16

3x RP Of The Month
What light through sonder... my perception breaks.
Tranquility: For Old Times Sake
Manifest Victory