You're surfing the internet, just doing your thing, when an advertisement pops up out of nowhere. You immediately search for the microscopic X to close it, but before you do that you see the XWF Anarchy logo.
With your attention garnered, you grab your drink, lean back in your chair and let the video play out...
"On Anarchy this week, live from McMorran Place in Port Huron, Michigan, I make my ACTUAL in-ring return to the Xtreme Wrestling Federation. That was supposed to have happened last Warfare, but things changed. Knowing I'd need to take a few practice shots first, I decided to delay facing Sebastian Everett-Bryce until I've shaken off some of the ring rust I've acquired during my hiatus. In 2020, when the Covid outbreak swept acrossed the globe, I figured that was a good enough reason to put my career on hold for a while and focus on what really matters: my family. After all, you don't stay happily married for 18 years by always putting work ahead of your spouse. Things like that lead to people getting divorces. I think Cadryn Tiberius, one of my opponents this week, might have some experience in that area. I don't really know much about him though because, if I'm being honest, it's pretty hard to listen to him speak when every other word out of his mouth is something crude and/or vulgar. I have a kid always within earshot and she doesn't need to hear that rubbish. Yet another reason my wife and I have kept her homeschooled. Sadly, I can only keep her safe for a little while longer before she's out and about, doing her own thing. She's not an idiot though, she's heard bad words before. She's heard how cruel people can be; the nasty things people say... oftentimes those things have been directed at yours truly. People crap on nice guys all the time.
"I'm not into excessive violence. I'm a wrestler, not a barbarian. That's one thing Tiberius and I have in common. I think that's the ONLY thing we have in common. Of course you're probably wondering, 'then why are you in the XWF? Why are you competing on Anarchy?' The answer is simple: to try to bring HONOR back. Wrestling, like the Olympics, is about honing your craft and being competitive. There's no honor in attacking people from behind, using weapons in place of ability. Cadryn Tiberius seems to understand that. But that's pretty much the only nice thing I can say about him. However, I will say I kind of feel for the guy. Nobody takes him seriously--himself included. I hope some day he's able to pull himself up by those boots he wears and actually do something serious. Seriously. Lasting for as long as you did against Centurion adds SOME credibility to your name. Don't waste that.
"Now Latoya Hixx, whose name nobody seems to know--because it's been miswritten all over the XWF website--is an unknown quantity. That's not a fat joke, mind you. She's a very frustrated individual from what I've seen. She's always bumbling over her own words because--from what I've gathered--she's just too angry to focus. I'd say she's mad because she lost her debut against Vhodka Black, but she was pissed off before that match even happened. Her anger and frustration could play to my advantage come Thursday. Or she could steamroll right over me. I sincerely hope it's not the latter; I've had to endure enough injuries in my career already. I digress. After we face off on Anarchy, at least people might start getting her name right. It'll probably sound something like: 'Latoya Hixx, who lost to Davey Dunham in his debut match on Anarchy.' But at least they'll get your name right. I'll do what I can to make sure they do.
"But anyway, I intend to give this match everything I've got, because this is the first step to putting myself back into the Championship picture. I came within inches of winning 'the big one' in 2009, but Kieran King put the kibosh on that. Sooner or later our paths will cross again, so I'm just gonna put a pin in that for now.
"So, Latoya. Cadryn. I'm going to paraphrase something Sebastian said to me: you're going to be made into examples. I'm a nice guy, so I'm giving you this heads-up. But when we're in that ring, I won't be so kind. Just sayin'.
"Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. See y'all at Anarchy."
And now that the advertisement is over, you go back to watching Tic-Tac or TikTok or whatever.
2024 Record Keeping
Wins / Losses: 1-2
3/9 - Warfare: Dunham vs. SEB (Dunham forfeited in light of SEB's upcoming Universal Title match @ March Madness)
3/14 - Anarchy: Dunham vs. Latoya Hixx vs. Cadryn Tiberius (Xtreme Rules Elimination) - Dunham finished 2nd
3/24 - March Madness PPV: Dunham vs. Brooke Hernandez vs. Bert McAlroy (Standard Triple Threat) - Dunham pinned Bert McAlroy
Next Scheduled Appearance
4/11 - Anarchy: 8-Person Over The Top Rope Battle Royal
WINNER TO RECEIVE A REVOLUTION TITLE SHOT NEXT ANARCHY!