03-12-2022 LIVE from the Canadian Tire Centre! OTTAWA, ONTARIO, CANADA REGGIE ESTRADA - vs - LLOYD ARMANI - vs - ASH Q. XTREME RULES MATCH - SAVAGE RULES ALEX MINETT-VEGA-YIN - vs - VITA VALENTEEN STANDARD MATCH - 1 ROLEPLAY THE CHAMELEON - vs - ANGIE VAUGHN STANDARD MATCH - SAVAGE RULES XAVIER LUX w/ CHRIS PAGE - vs - CENTURION STANDARD MATCH - 1 ROLEPLAY MARK FLYNN w/ CHRIS PAGE - vs - ALIAS XTREME RULES- 1 ROLEPLAY JENNY MYST - vs - LATINA SUBMISSION MACHINA STANDARD MATCH - SAVAGE RULES THUNDER KNUCKLES - vs - BARNEY GREEN STANDARD MATCH - SAVAGE RULES RAION KIDO - vs - CAGE COLEMAN STANDARD MATCH - SAVAGE RULES BOBBY BOURBON - vs - CALVARY STANDARD MATCH - SAVAGE RULES

HHL: "Hello everyone and welcome to Saturday Night Savage! I'm Heather Hallowell and with me is my commentary team partner, Pip Collins! We'll be kicking off the March Madness Tournament tonight with four Elite 8 matches that will take us to March Madness where we will crown a NEW KING or QUEEN of the XWF!"

PIP: "It's an exciting time, Heather! We have a lot of new faces in the tournament this year along with a great couple match ups to coincide with! Let's hit the ring!"




Ash skips onto the stage as the song begins, she looks around with her hand above her eyes bent at the waist. Once the music starts in again she prances around the stage. When the refrain kicks in she claps her hands over her head skipping down to the ring as strobes flash in time to the beat. Stepping up to the apron she does the splits sliding under the ropes. As the song continues she mounts the turnbuckle creepy smile on her face and waves like a little girl.

PC: “Those splits were pretty cute, but I can’t help but feel a deep sense of nervousness and unease whenever I see this woman.”

HHL: “You might just be a misogynist, Pip.”




The smoke fills up with red on the stage, as the arena lights flickers. Then once we see "The Rebellious One" on the X-Tron, then we hear the voice of Bone Thugs and Reggie walks down to song. Then we see him with walking down the ramp, and stop at the camera gives it the finger. Then he rolls into the ring, and goes to the top rope and poses. Then he jumps down, and chills on the corner as his theme cuts off.

PC: “Reggie Estrada, a 2-time X-treme champion, is coming out here tonight to kick ass and take names! With his long resume and never-ending highlight reels I think Reggie has to be the favorite in this match.”

HHL: “He is going to have his hands full tonight, regardless of how packed his resume is.”




Lloyd Armani pulls up backstage in a limo, with a cigar in his mouth and wearing a suit, he then swaggers up to the entranceway and walks slowly down the ramp while taking off his suit.

PC: “That is one hell of a nice suit.”

HHL: “His parents must be proud, I know I’d be proud of my son if he dressed that sharply.”

REGGIE ESTRADA - vs - LLOYD ARMANI - vs - ASH Q XTREME RULES MATCH - SAVAGE RULES

The bell rings and the match is immediately off to the races. Ash, by far the smallest wrestler in the ring, is immediately the target of both men! Reggie and Lloyd both head right for her, but she is able to dive between them, confusing both men! Reggie and Lloyd look around for Ash, before they decide to just start hitting each other! Reggie fires off a stiff right shot to Lloyd that bruises his jaw, but Armani doesn’t waste any time throwing back a haymaker of his own! Reggie and Lloyd begin exchanging blows near the corner while Ash looks on, clearly quite pleased with herself!

Reggie Estrada is forced to fight with his back against the turnbuckle post as the larger Lloyd Armani begins to gain the upper hand. Lloyd starts hammering away at Reggie’s face: until he is abruptly stopped with a dropkick to the back from Ash! Lloyd’s body slams into Reggie’s body from the momentum of the dropkick and both men drop to the mat. Ash does a short little celebration before bouncing off the ropes and delivering a double clothesline to both men just as they were trying to get up to their feet!

PC: “Wow, Heather! Ash is off to a red hot start in this one!”

HHL: “That’s right, Pip! Anything men can do, women can do better- and Ash is clearly showing that to us all right now!

Ash continues to taunt and celebrate and the crowd is going right along with her. Ash begins to get distracted as she gloats in the praise of the crowd….Ash never even sees Reggie Estrada slowly lurching to his feet! Before Ash knows what’s happening Reggie Estarda has rolled her up in a schoolboy pin!

PC: “Ash got distracted, she got overwhelmed by the fans! Reggie is capitalizing!”

HHL: “This could be it!”

The referee begins to count.



1









2





3-NO! Lloyd Armani breaks up the pin!

The three wrestlers all go scrambling in different directions after the sneaky pin attempt is broken up.


PC: “Reggie almost had it won right there! He’s sneaky!”

HHL: Luckily for Ash Lloyd Armani was there: I don’t think she was going to get out of that schoolboy on her own!”


The three wrestlers look around each other for a moment….but then everyone is surprised when Reggie Estrada hightails it out of the ring! Ash and Lloyd look at each other and shrug, then they both go chasing after Reggie! Reggie quickly grabs a black bag out from under the ring as he starts to be chased by Lloyd and Ash.

HHL: “What did Reggie just grab?”

PC: “I have no idea, Heather! But this is an X-treme rules match, so it could be anything!”

Lloyd Armani is the first one to get near Reggie. Lloyd reaches out and tries to grab Estrada- but Reggie swings that black sack around and smacks Lloyd in the head with it! Lloyd falls to the ground with a big bloody gash on the side of his head. Ash Q sees the chaos and slows herself down, staying well out of reach of the man she was just chasing. Reggie Estrada gives a sick smile to Ash Q before he reaches into the black sack…and pulls out a brick!

PC: “So that is what was in the bag! It’s a bag full of bricks!”

Lloyd looks pretty well laid out, and now Reggie is throwing bricks at Ash Q! Ash dodges most of the bricks thrown, but there are still a few bricks inside the sack by the time Ash Q is able to retreat back into the ring. Reggie Estrada keeps hold of his brick-filled bag as he rolls into the ring after Ash.

Ash bounces off the ropes and comes charging at Reggie just as he enters the ring- but before Ash can do anything Reggie swings the bag of bricks at her head! Ash ducks the swing and takes another bounce before coming back and hitting Reggie with a sling blade! Reggie is down! Ash pulls the bag of bricks away from Reggie and takes one for herself.... but as her back is turned retrieving a brick, Reggie gets back to his feet and waits for her to turn around.... He kicks her in the stomach and hits MASHFUL!!! Ash springs up and nearly does a back flip from the powerful maneuver!!! Reggie pulls her close and hooks the leg!!



ONE!!!









TWO!!!!!










THREE!!!!!

WINNER via PINFALL - REGGIE ESTRADA

---

We return from commercial break to see Karen Hunt standing alongside Charlie Nickles in the middle of the ring. There is a small table and two chairs set in the center of the ring. On top of the table rests a few pages worth of contracts and exactly two pens. A microphone sits on either end of the table next to the contract and pen. The TV championship is slung over Charlie’s left shoulder. Charlie is talking a bunch of shit over Karen Hunt’s way, and she is clearly way over it. She gives him a stern finger wag in the face telling him to BACK OFF.



Out from the back to the roar of the crowd steps Centurion. He stands for a second at the top of the ramp way and looks around at the crowd before slowly making his way to the ring.


PC: Centurion is coming out to sign the contract for his shot at the XWF Television Championship! He won his shot back at Fire & Ice and now he’s cashing it in on March Madness!

HHL: Centurion is going to be Charlie’s greatest challenge YET for the championship! This pay per view battle is going to be one for the ages…I just wonder what stipulation Charlie is going to pick!

Charlie charges towards Centurion as soon as Cent hits the ring! Charlie acts like he’s about to attack him! Centurion prepares to defend himself- but then suddenly Charlie comes to a halt? A big smile spreads on the Nickleman’s face as he reaches out to Centurion for an unexpected handshake. Centurion looks suspicious, but goes along with it. The two men shake hands before taking their seats. Karen and Centurion both appear a bit confused by the unusually friendly introduction from Charlie. Karen stands at the side of the table. She instructs both wrestlers to read through the contract before agreeing to the match.

PC: I thought we were going to have a fight on our hands!

HHL: I wouldn’t put it past Charlie to be playing possum right now. Charlie has attacked his last two title challengers in the weeks leading up to the match, I think he might still have something planned for Centurion tonight!

PC: Centurion has a higher pedigree in this company than Micheal Graves and Raion Kido, Charlie might be wanting to show some respect for the legacy!

Charlie and Centurion look through the contract before staring each other down from across the table.

Karen Hunt: Are you two men ready to sign the dotted line and make this title match official?

Centurion nods and grabs a pen- but Charlie holds out a finger to stop the procession.

Not so fast, K-hunt. Goldi needs to read it, too!

PC: Good on Charlie. A loving boyfriend always consults his girl before making big decision!

HHL: It's just a belt, Pip. Charlie’s simply wasting everyone’s time like he always does.

Charlie picks up the contract and holds each page in front of the championship belt for a painstakingly long amount of time. Karen Hunt rolls her eyes and shakes her head at the champion’s antics. Centurion, meanwhile, lets out a bored sigh as he tosses his pen in the air and catches it for his own amusement.

Goldi said it’s all good! You really outdid yourself with this contract, you K-hunt!

Karen Hunt: Just Just sign the damn contract so we can get this over with. I have Days of our Lives reruns to watch!

Ok, ok, I’ll sign it- but not with this dirty pen! I have no idea where that’s been!

Charlie knocks the pen on his side of the table down to the mat where it rolls out of the ring. Charlie reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black pen from the XWF merchandise catalog that is emblazoned with Jenny Myst iconography.

I’ll be using THIS!

PC: Oh no Charlie, I’m not sure that pen is going to be any cleaner!

HHL: What kind of weird mind games is Charlie trying to play here? Centurion BEAT Jenny Myst to become the #1 contender!


Charlie signs his name on the dotted line of the contract before pushing the pile of papers into the center of the table. Charlie taps the Jenny Myst branded pen against the table to ‘close’ it before tucking it back into his pocket.

Centurion leans forward and smiles as he taps his pen against the table.

Centurion: You know, Charlie? As much fun as I've been having with all this, I think it's just about time we wrap all this up. I've got important shit I have to do.

Centurion quickly signs the contract and places the pen back down on the desk.

Charlie steps away from the table with his championship belt and looks towards Centurion with a douchey smirk.

Do you….do you want to touch her, Centurion? Just this one time? It will be your only chance…

Charlie starts walking towards Centurion with his championship belt extended. Centurion looks at the belt and briefly reaches his hand, as if he's going to touch the belt, but instead, he smiles and lowers his hand.

Centurion: Nah. I wouldn't want to spoil this magical night for you and Goldie.

Centurion politely refuses the offer as he steps between the ropes and exits the ring. Charlie Nickles stares daggers into Centurion’s back as the XWF legend walks up the entrance ramp and into the back.

PC: “These two men are going to have one hell of a battle at March Madness!”

HHL: “Definitely, Pip- with Charlie defending the TV title against Centurion live on pay per view, this may just be his most difficult championship match yet!”

---

Cliffs Of Dover starts up as the house lights go down around the arena with white spotlights flashing in quick and random succession. As the drum roll kicks in over the epic guitar solo, things seem to stretch for an almost awkwardly long time. As the opening solo stops after about twenty-five seconds, a small shadow can be seen leaping right into center stage and the music stops for a second.

As the main riff kicks up, the lights start flashing again before the house lights suddenly switch back on and Alex stands right in the middle of the ramp, smiling and throwing out peace and Shaka signs. As the song continues, Alex dances around on her way to the ring, high-fiving fans, posing for photos, playing air guitar, robot dancing, and other antics before smiling straight at the camera and then taking a running leap onto the ring apron.

Jumping over the ropes, Alex then spins into the center of the ring, once again throwing out signs and smiling before shuffling off into a corner.


PIP: "Oh look, another innocent sweetheart for the XWF to get behind! I wonder how long before she shows her true colors?"


HHL: "Not everyone is a slimy P.O.S. like you, Pip!"


PIP: "Hey!? What did I ever do to you!?"




As the opening riff of "Bloody Tear" tore through the arena the crowd jumped to their feet! Vita makes her way down to the ring, slapping hands with her fans along the way. Vita then slides into the ring and postures for the crowd as her music dies down.


PIP: "AND LOOK it's the XWF's favorite blood-sucking superhero! Hey Heather, how many people has she attacked without consequence now? 5? 6? How many more must she suck to the brink of death before these idiots realize that she's a damn monster that needs putting down!"


HHL: "You're a little heavy on the biased tonight, aren't you?"

ALEX MINETT-VEGA-YIN - vs - VITA VALENTEEN STANDARD MATCH - 1 ROLEPLAY

The opening bell sounds and Vita and Alex both step out of their corners. With a fangy smile, Vita offers her hand in good sportsmanship. Alex seems a little hesitant, but ultimately shakes Vita's hand before they begin to circle each other in the ring. Vita pushes in looking for a takedown, but Alex slips the attempt keeping Vita on the chase. Vita pushes in again, this time for a grapple. Alex breaks and swings around Vita with a grip on the waist. Vita fires a back elbow to break Alex's grip and hits the ropes connecting with a spinning heel kick on the rebound! Vita immediately grasps Alex's arm looking for the Rings of Vita, but Alex fights back and shoves Vita into the corner with both legs. The impact staggers Vita, allowing Alex time to recover. Vita steps in to grapple, but Alex catches her with a staggering Savate kick!


PIP: "Alex had it scouted! Ever think that's what happens when you reveal your damn ring plan on TV!?"


HHL: "Well, Pip, Vita does prefer for her opponents to be well prepared and have no excuses. Maybe this was her plan all along!"


PIP: "Pffft, you're giving that ditz far too much credit!"


Alex whips Vita towards the ropes, but Vita plants her foot and reverses the momentum, sending Alex into the rebound off of the ropes! Vita steps in and scoops her up for a sidewalk slam, but locks her legs around Vita's head and flows through with the momentum, sending Vita back to the mat with a Headscissor takedown!


Alex steps over Vita and lifts her off of the mat and right into a Boston Crab!


PIP: "Ha! Told ya! Vita shouldn't have spoken so freely about Alex's lack of submissions experience with so much time left for her to train!"


Alex isn't wrenching back as hard as she can, showing her inexperience, but regardless, Vita's locked in and in pain. Vita twists at the waist and reaches out barely getting a toe on the bottom rope. The official, Richard Wang, quickly calls for the break and Alex complies before a count is necessary. Vita climbs to a knee and favors her lower back momentarily before standing. Alex rushes in so quickly that Vita can't process what's happening until she's mid-flip from a Hurricarana! Vita shoots back to her feet and turns right into a jumping enziguiri that connects to Vita's temple with such force, it sends an audible (SMACK) throughout the arena!


HHL: "Alex Minett-Vega-Yin just connected with the Off-Switch!"


PIP: "Well, that's an appropriately named move, cause Vita's lights are OUT!"


Alex scrambles for the cover!































Wang slides into position!












































1!















































2!!






































































KICKOUT!


Alex breaks the cover and looks at Wang with frustration in her eyes.


HHL: "Vita barely kicking out before the three!"


PIP: "Did that count seem a little... Slow to you?"


Alex questions Wang on the obviously slow count as Vita's RP rep, Jami comes charging down to the ring. She goes right up to Vita who is recovering by the ropes and begins yelling at her before slipping something into her hand.


PIP: "Hey! Did you see that!?"


Vita stands up and looks at the object Jami passed her.


It's a fork!


Jami instructs Vita to use it on Alex while she's distracted!


Vita refuses, shaking her head no and throwing the weapon back at Jami!


HHL: "I knew that she wouldn't resort to such tactics!"


As Vita looks to get back into this match, she walks right into a second Off-Switch!


PIP: "Well maybe she should've!


The crowd comes to their feet on impact, expecting this one to be over soon! Alex doesn't look to disappoint as she ascends the top rope!


HHL: "This can only mean one thing PIP"


Alex leaps off with a shooting star press, but transitions into a gravity-defying 450 splash on her decent!


PIP: "Super-Insano Megasault!"


























HHL: "NO! NOBODY HOME!"


Alex crashes hard as Vita rolls out of the way in the nick of time!


PIP: "That right there is proof that vampires shouldn't be allowed to compete due to their regenerative abilities!"


Alex writhes in pain as Vita uses the time to recover. Vita grabs the arm, looking for The Rings again, and she locks it in! Alex holds her hand out, just inches from the mat, but she fights through the pain! In a similar position as Vita beforehand, Alex reaches for the ropes with her foot!


ROPE BREAK!


Vita stays on the offensive, using a series of knife-edged chops to drive Alex into the corner! Vita mounts her and begins hammering the top of her head as the crowd counts along!






Vita hits the apron as Alex pushes up to her feet. Vita waits for just the right moment before springboarding off of the top and connecting with a dropkick to Alex's sternum!


HHL: "Vita Valenteen just forced Alex Minett to Eat Defeat! That could be all she wrote!"


Vita doesn't go for the cover and instead grabs Alex's arm, wrapping her up into the Rings of Vita! Alex yelps out in pain, but refuses to quit! Digging deep, Alex finds the power to fight through the pain as she struggles against Vita until she has Vita's shoulders pinned against the mat!








1!











































2!















Vita breaks the hold!





PIP: "ANOTHER slow count from Wang in favor of Vita! Has Wang been paid off!?"


HHL: "By Vita!? No way!"


Jami, still on the outside, snatches a beer bottle out of the hand of a fan in the front row and smashes it against the steel steps. Jami begins yelling into the ring for Vita's attention!


PIP: "Hey, what gives!? Glass bottles are NOT allowed in the venue!"


Vita leans over the ropes as Jami tries to convince her to finish Alex off with the broken bottle. Maybe rake it across her ugly face or something! Vita refuses once more before leading Alex up from the mat. Vita whips her into the ropes and on the rebound Alex catches Vita by surprise with a sunset flip!








Wang slides into position!




























1!








































KICKOUT!


PIP: "Well, somebody has obviously lined Richard Wang's pockets! If not Vita, then who!?"


Jami's on the apron waving the broken bottle around. Richard Wang rushes to her to prevent her from coming inside of the ring. Alex begins arguing with Jami and gets too close! Jami slices over Wang at Alex and manages to open a cut above the eyes! Jami drops to the floor with a satisfied grin as Wang acts confused as to what could have possibly opened the cut on Alex's forehead.


HHL: "I think the answer is pretty obvious, Pip!"


Vita pushes up from the mat and stalks Alex from behind.


HHL: "Vita is unaware of anything that just happened!"


PIP: "SURE SHE IS!"















Vita grabs Alex from behind and wrestles her to the mat and into the Rings of Vita! Alex struggles for the ropes, but she's too far away! Losing blood and fading fast, Alex submits to avoid further injury!

WINNER via SUBMISSION - VITA VALENTEEN

Vita releases the hold and quickly realizes that her hands are covered in Alex's blood. She notices the gash and jumps to her feet staring a hole through Jami who walks back up the ramp with a smirk.

---

EYES




ON




VAUGHNEMOUS




NO, I WON'T GIVE IN, I WON'T GIVE IN

TILL' I'M VICTORIOUS

AND I WILL DEFEND

I WILL DEFEND





The lights in the Candaian Tire Centre turn into an explosion of pinks, purples, greens, rainbows, unicorns on fire, lucky charms, rivers of sugar, and mountains of Meow Mix Ocean Explosion tuna treats as Angelica Vaughn walks out onto the ramp. She pauses with her hands on her hips, letting her cape sway gently, and gives her kinda-sorta home crowd a wide smile. Behind her, a blur of black and red speeds forward and under her arms as Sarah Lacklan slides in front of her and matches her pose, her head nearly a full foot under Angie's. Sarah tilts her head way way way back and up and, with a smile brighter than the Sun even during that craxy Carrington Event way back in 1859 (google it, kiddos), and the two wink at each other. Angie then takes her hands off her hips and pushes Sarah forward, the former Universal Champion squawking in surprise, and the two make their way down the aisle.

Halfway there, Angie slows to a stop, her face turning slack, with her jaw falling to her chin. Ahead of her, Sarah sighs and rolls her eyes before backing up to Angie and, with a gentle firmness, pulling her away from that Cute Boy she had noticed sitting in an aisle seat. A Cute Boy who, because wrestling, considered Kayla Braxton an “older woman.” Angie hopes and dreams that she would be young enough for him!

Once at ringside, Sarah slides into the ring underneath the ropes as Angie climbs the steps. Sarah gets to her feet and pulls down the top rope with all her weight, allowing Angie to step over the top rope light the most giant of giant wrestlers. As Angie walks to the center of the ring and stands with her hands on her hips, Sarah takes a microphone from Tigs and gives her a big wink.

SARAH: Good evening, Ottawans! My name is Sarah Lacklan-

CROWD: *mimics a trumpet fanfare*

SARAH: WORLD’S GREATEST LIFE COACH, and I am to introduce to you the very FIRST member of the Family First of the XWF and my absolute (non-spouse) #RideOrDie. With an XWF record of one win and one loss, she is standing at the (still) totes-too-tall height of five feet and eleven inches...

CROWD: BAY-BAY

SARAH: ...and weighing in today at a surprisingly plump 140 or so Chewies…fighting out of the I G A-

Angie glares at Sarah.

SARAH: ...er...I mean...fighting out of the Supes Totes Amaze Ranch in Texas...but born RIGHT HERE in Canda...

The crowd pops for the other-coast-but-still-hometown-hero-status.

SARAH: ...she is the Leggy Blonde of Legend...the creator of THE hottest word game in ALL of the vast word game genre…I haven’t gotten an ANGLE SLAM yet, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to ragequit it like I know SOME people would…she-

“LOVE ON THE BRAIN!”

Sarah pauses in her introduction as a ringtone is heard.

SARAH: ...er…um…it’s Kenzi…un instant s'il vous plaît…

Angie cocks her eyebrow at the interruption.

SARAH: Beloved! How are…oh, you’re watching Savage right now? One sec…

She holds up her phone to the audience.

SARAH: Say hello to Kenzi Grey, Canda!

CROWD: HELLO KENZI!

WE MISS YOU!

YOU’RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN SARAH!

PLEASE COME BACK!

SARAH: ...alright, alright…

Sarah growls as she puts the phone back to her ear and tries to ignore the massive “PLEASE COME BACK” chant for Kenzi Grey.

SARAH: ...okay…oh…um…one sec…

Sarah looks at Angie.

SARAH: Sis? Kenzi wanted to remind you that we’re anti-gun.

Angie’s super-pale face grows a little paler.

ANGIE: Was totes just a bit! AND I buried them after!

Sarah points to the phone.

SARAH: You hear that? She’s not going to stop lecturing me about you until you apologize. Usually, it’s the other way around!

Angie sighs, whips out her own phone from it’s secret hiding spot somewhere in her cape, and uses the far far FAR more superior way of communicating and sends a text to Kenzi full of kitty-shaped hearts and hugs. Once finished, she looks expectantly at her much MUCH shorter sister. Sarah nodes in conformation and Angie smiles again. However, Sarah stays on the phone.

SARAH: So…wearing anything, sexy? Or anything at all? Or-

ANGIE: AHEM!

Sarah starts and quickly puts her phone away. She clears her throat and brings the mic back to her face.

SARAH: She is the FUN-raiser of the XWF...the Vaughnemous A.N.G…

The crowd waits patiently as Sarah takes a deep breath.

SARAH: ANGELICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Angie raises her hands into the air as a bedazzled spotlight shines down on her.

SARAH: VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

The crowd breaks out into a chant as Angie leads them with pumps of her arms.

CROWD: OBVS! OBVS! OBVS! OBVS! OBVS! OBVS! OBVS! OBVS! OBVS! OBVS!

HHL: “All right, folks. This is a big one. This one has been many months in the making.”

PIP: “No doubt about it, Heather. Two of the most dominant stars on XWF’s roster are about to square up. One has a legitimate argument of being the best that’s ever done it…”

HHL: “And the other won’t stop talking about how great he is and how great the Optimal Path is…”

PIP: “...Wait, who are you talking about?”

HHL: “...Who are YOU talking about?”

“THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL! ALREADY IN THE RING! AT SIX FOOT, WEIGHING IN AT 235 POUNDS! ALIAS!”

Alias is already sitting criss-cross apple-sauce in the center of the ring. A roar of applause goes up for Space-Jesus.

HHL: “You see him right there. Alias. The number 1 contender for the Universal Championship. You know, we saw Jim Caedus cash-in on Alias to gain the top belt. Then, we saw “Three-Pete” Peter Vaughn crush Caedus at Fire & Ice to take it. But, every true XWF fan has wondered when Alias would return to attempt and reclaim what is his.”

PIP: “Not every fan, Heather! Alias LOST that belt! He should have to start from scratch like everyone else!”

HHL: “He largely has, Pip! And in a very short period of time, he’s beaten a legend in Unknown Soldier! A massively successful wrestler across many promotions in Xavier Lux! And he managed to fight through Charlie Nickles, who’s been pumping out the best work of his career in the last few months as Television Champion!”

PIP: “It’s all been very impressive, Heather. But, there’s one man he hasn’t beaten.”



Violins Chirp as the X-Tron whirs to life, playing the greatest clips in Mark Flynn’s career. The Release Northern Lights Suplex to Thaddeus Duke at Relentless. The Logical Conclusion that beat Robert Main at Fire & Ice. The Roll-Up that pinned Peter Vaughn.

Then, from behind the curtain bursts Mark Flynn. Blue tights. Bomber jacket. Flanked by ‘Chronic’ Chris Page.

“AND HIS OPPONENT! AT SIX FOOT! WEIGHING IN AT 210 POUNDS! HE IS ONE-HALF OF THE XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! MARK FLYNN!”

At the top of the ramp, Flynn turns and shows his back to the arena. He spreads his arms. The camera catches across the back of the jacket: “THE KING OF THE MIDCARDERS”.

Page points just beneath the message on the jacket to a patch, which reads ‘Represented by CCP Enterprises’.

Flynn spins back and marches down the ramp.

HHL: “Mark Flynn. A man whose return to the XWF has been mired in controversy.”

PIP: “Controversy? That’s subjective, Heather. How about we stick to the facts, Heather?”

HHL: “All right.”

PIP: “FACT: ONE-HALF OF THE MOST DOMINANT XWF TAG-TEAM OF ALL-TIME!”

HHL: “...By what metric is that a fact, Pip?!?”

PIP: “Flynn and NK beat the 2021 Tag Team of the Year, Them No Good Bastards! Twice!”

HHL: “Half-Truth. Go on.”

PIP: “Then, they took APEX, whose first tag title reign was 241 days! And they snapped it after two months!”

HHL: “It is a fact, Pip, that Flynn has been very impressive the last few months! He has beaten Sebastian Duke, an XWF Legend. He’s beaten Bobby Bourbon, Robert Main and Peter Vaughn twice… All former or reigning Universal Champions. But, there’s one thing he’s never done! One feat that almost no one can claim to have accomplished. Mark Flynn has never stepped in the ring against Alias and beaten him.”

PIP: “Only because he’s never faced him! Well, he’s about to now, Heather! And this day, he is awash with glorious destiny! He is bathed in a higher fate! Mark my words! Mark Flynn is en-route to the Universal Championship! And he’s on the fast track, because he has FOUND the Optimal Path!”

HHL: “Jesus Christ, Pip, you’re talking like a cult member! Full-on brainwashed now! Can someone block Flynn’s newsletters from the company servers!?!”

PIP: “The truth cannot be silenced, non-believer! HERETIC!”

Flynn reaches the side of the ring and climbs the steel steps…

Page remains in Flynn’s corner. Flynn tosses the bomber jacket down to his agent and steps through the ropes.

Alias rises to his feet as Flynn stands in the corner. The two meet in the center of the ring. The official steps between them to deliver a few commands…

PIP: “Want a few more facts, Heather?”

HHL: “Oh God, are they facts or propaganda?”

PIP: “I’ll ignore that attack on my person.”

HHL: “...”

PIP: “You know the last time Alias was pinned in a wrestling ring?”

HHL: “When, Pip?”

PIP: “Bad Medicine, November 28th, 2021. Now, guess the last time Mark Flynn lost a match?”

HHL: “When?”

PIP: “Bad Medicine, November 28th, 2021! Both of these men have been undefeated the entire year of 2022 thus far!”

HHL: “Wow! That IS a fun fact, Pip!”

PIP: “And one of them didn’t need to disappear for two months to achieve that feat!”

HHL: “...Pip! If you don’t count cash-ins, Alias hasn’t lost a match since Leap of Faith when he lost the X-Treme Title to Lycana!”

PIP: “AND IF YOU DON’T COUNT RIGGED MATCHES, MARK FLYNN HAS NEVER LOST IN HIS ENTIRE CAREER!”

HHL: “...sigh.”

The official finishes delivering the last of his commands and calls for the bell!

MARK FLYNN w/ CHRIS PAGE - vs - ALIAS X-Treme Rules

HHL: “And here we go!”

Flynn offers his right hand in the air for a test of strength. Alias goes to take it…

In a flash, Flynn grabs Alias’ arm and twists his weight downwards.

PIP: “FUJIWARA! FUJIWARA! THIS MATCH IS AL-”

Alias resists, remaining on his feet, before suddenly wrenching himself on his back! Arm dragging Flynn through the air! Flynn forward-rolls agilely… winding up in the corner as Alias circles the ring.

The crowd starts up a chant…

“EAT MARK FLYNN! EAT MARK FLYNN! EAT MARK FLYNN!”

Alias circle-steps, not taking his eyes off his opponent. Flynn shakes his head, fuming.

HHL: “An impressive opening gambit by Flynn to try and take this one early, but Alias proving far too formidable to go down so easily!”

PIP: “...”

Flynn steps forward, raising his arms for a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Alias again matches that intent.

Just before they meet, Flynn steps behind the World-Eater! Standing switch! Into a rear-waistlock!

Flynn heaves! Release German Suplex!

…

But the World-Eater backflips and lands on his feet!

Flynn smiles, thinking he just got the better of the former Universal Champion. He scrambles to his feet to stay on the offensive…

And ends up face-to-face with the Wolf-Skinner!

Reflexively, Flynn defensively rolls backwards to create distance. Alias doesn’t move from his stance, unflinching in his focus.

The crowd doubles their volume.

“EAT MARK FLYNN! EAT MARK FLYNN! EAT MARK FLYNN!”

Flynn scratches his head… And sighs.

HHL: “The Most Hated Man in the XWF might be getting a little frustrated here!”

PIP: “This is all part of psychological warfare, Heather! Flynn is playing chess! Looking at his pieces and how they’ll conq-... Wait, where is Flynn going?”

True enough, Flynn ducks under the ropes and circles the outside of the ring… Headed for the timekeeper’s table. He’s immediately yelling at the timekeeper to evacuate his chair.

PIP: “...Aha! See, Heather! Flynn is taking advantage of the X-Treme Rules stipulation and is going for a steel folding chair! The arms race begins and Mark Flynn just took the lead!”

Flynn turns around with the chair and starts heading back for the ri- SUDDENLY, ALIAS SPRINTS FROM POSITION, DIVING THROUGH THE CORNER ROPES AND SPEARING FLYNN!

HHL: “Alias’ Trademark Suicide Dive! And Flynn looks shell-shocked after that one!”

Indeed, after receiving that unexpected flying tackle, Flynn is quite beside himself… Alias immediately grabs Flynn by the scruff of his neck and tosses him under the ropes back into the ring, leaving the chair Flynn grabbed behind.

Flynn starts trying to crawl away, but Alias mounts Flynn and starts to choke him around the neck!

The official runs in and starts a count… And then remembers this match is X-Treme Rules! No disqualifications!

HHL: “Alias is looking more dominant than ever in the early going…”

Alias puts more and more weight on choking Flynn… Flynn look faint…

When suddenly, Flynn wrenches his neck and lifts his hips… Alias tumbles over him and Flynn takes the mount!

HHL: “...Impressive counter by Mark Flynn! If there’s one single area Flynn might have the edge, it’s technical wrestling.”

PIP: “THE OPTIMAL PATH IS HERE, HEATHER! IT’S IN THIS ARENA!”

Alias tries to scramble like a trapped animal, but with his full weight, Flynn drops a huge swinging headbutt straight down onto the World-Eater!

HHL: “Ooh, that’s gonna be a bad shiner tomorrow!”

Alias covers his eye, just as Flynn goes for the cover!

The official counts!

1!

Alias kicks out!

Flynn starts circling Alias and stomping his legs! First the right leg, then the left… Then the left arm!

Alias, visibly hurt, tries to crawl back to a vertical base… But Flynn trips him up by slipping a foot under Alias’ ankle, then raising it! Alias hits the ground again! Flynn drops a knee into Alias’ side and the World-Eater grabs his abdomen in pain!

PIP: “THIS is where Mark Flynn is most dangerous, Heather! After one single opening! One mistake is all it takes to start the ball rolling down the hill of Mark Flynn claiming victory!”

HHL: “I can’t argue what you’re saying, Pip. Flynn is very capable as a mat wrestler.”

PIP: “THE. GREATEST. WRESTLER. OF. ALL. TIME.”

HHL: “...”

PIP: “...”

HHL: “Wel-”

PIP: “Since Day One.”

Flynn grabs Alias by the scruff of his neck, then snapmares him over his shoulder! Alias lands on his ass as Flynn bounces back to the ropes… And runs!

Huge kick directly to Alias’ spine! The volume is deafening as Alias falls to his side, sucking air in tremendous pain.

Flynn drops into another cover, pressing an elbow into his opponent’s face while he does.

The official counts!

1!

2!

Alias kicks out!

Flynn stands back up and stomps Alias once in the face.

HHL: “Ooh, if there was any love between these two men working together at WarGames on Team F.U.C.K.T.H.A.D., it’s not apparent here, Pip.”

PIP: “#FakeNews! Flynn said in his promo, he likes Alias. He says everybody decent likes Alias.”

HHL: “Do you like Alias, Pip?”

PIP: “Hell no!”

HHL: “...”

PIP: “...Wait...”

Flynn goes to lift Alias back up to his feet…

But Alias leans forward and pushes Flynn away a few feet!

HHL: “Alias, creating distance…”

Flynn tries to close the gap and grab Alias… but Alias grabs his arm and tosses Flynn! Arm drag!

Flynn rolls across the ring. He skitters back up… Just in time for the World-Eater to launch a running knee into Flynn’s face!

HHL: “WHAT A SHOT BY ALIAS! HE GOT ALL OF THAT ONE!”

Alias tries to scramble into the cover… But Flynn rolls backwards… And under the ropes to the outside of the ring!

PIP: “...See! That’s MY Universal Champion right there, Heather! The ring awareness! The superior mental acumen! Mark Flynn is unbeatable!”

HHL: “Mark Flynn just took a huge kick to the face, Pip! He might not know what day it is right now!”

PIP: “And yet he knew to roll out of the ring to buy himself recovery time!”

Alias rolls outside the ring to stay on the offensive… Wait, no, he stays on the apron.

Flynn slowly climbs back to his feet…

But Alias leaps out, grabbing him by the skull! And drags him to the padded concrete! Flying bulldog on the outside!

Alias rises up… ‘Chronic’ Chris Page steps a couple feet closer from the corner.

HHL: “Page has played a role in a number of Mark Flynn’s biggest victories recently. Just Page’s presence has distracted a few choice opponents at just the right time.”

PIP: “And Alias got his original Uni Title run from cashing in on ‘Chronic’ Chris Page, Heather!”

…Instead, Alias doesn’t seem to notice, grabbing Flynn by the neck and rolling back in the ring.

HHL: “As Flynn noted in his promo, Pip. Alias is one of the most determined competitors in this business. He’s not one to let himself get distracted.”

Alias tries to roll back under the ropes… But, just for a moment, Page pulls down the bottom rope! It briefly grazes Alias, who can’t help but turn around… Page leans back and shrugs…

PIP: “Page is not one you should ignore!”

HHL: “That’s one way to put it. I prefer to call him irritating.”

Alias looks down at the new GM of Warfare as Flynn gathers himself to a vertical base…

Alias turns around… Just as Flynn hits him with a running dropkick! Alias’ spine buckles against the turnbuckle, he sputters forward…

Flynn tucks his head under the World-Eater’s shoulder and liiiiiiifts!

NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!

The official drops to count…

1!

Tw- No! Flynn, still holding Alias’ waist, rolls backwards from the bridge onto his feet…

Then he liiiiiiiiiiifts Alias back into the air off the ground!

A SECOND NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!

Now the official counts!

1!

2!

TH- NO! Alias kicks out!

HHL: “A very impressive Double Northern Lights Suplex! But Alias finds the strength to keep going!”

PIP: “How long can that last though, Heather?!?”

Flynn rolls outside the ring again as Alias lies on his back, hurt. Flynn heads back to the announcer’s side of the ring… And grabs the timekeeper’s chair!

HHL: “Flynn, about to take advantage of the X-Treme Rules nature of this contest!”

Flynn rolls inside the ring with the chair, just as Alias crawls to his feet…

Flynn reels back…

But Alias stutter-steps backwards out of range and Flynn misses his downward swing…

Alias backs up in the ropes and rebounds, as Flynn goes to relift the chair…

And Alias connects with a running dropkick that pounds Flynn’s chair back towards his face! Flynn’s face opens and a trail of blood pours down his forehead!

HHL: “What a miscalculation on Mark Flynn’s part!”

Flynn slips backwards against the ropes, flops forward… And Alias lifts and spins him, dropping Flynn’s spine across his knee! Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!

Flynn cradles his spine in tremendous pain and Alias hooks the leg!

The official drops!

1!

2!

THR-NO! Flynn slips a shoulder off the ground!

Before Flynn can gather himself, Alias grabs Flynn’s leg and twists it at the knee, securing a spinning toe hold!

But as he twists his stance, Flynn reels his foot drawing Alias in backwards, then kicks Alias forward. Alias runs forward, hits the ropes… Flynn kips up onto his feet!

Alias keeps running and… HUGE HEADBUTT! Mark Flynn catches Alias’ face with the top of his skull and Alias hits the mat hard!

HHL: “A streak of red across Alias’ face here! Hard to tell if that’s his blood or Flynn’s blood!”

Flynn returns to circle-stomping Alias’ arms. The right, then the left, then back to the right.

HHL: “Flynn, possibly thinking ahead here, trying to cripple Alias’ arms to limit his ability for that Mandible Claw maneuver…”

Flynn stretches Alias’ left arm long against the mat… Then does a handstand… Then swings his knee down on the Left Hand! Alias howls in pain, clutching his wrist.

Flynn grabs Alias by the neck again… and slowly lifts him to his feet, pulling him into a rear waistlock.

PIP: “Flynn, possibly looking to take things to the endgame, trying to hit his trademark Counterpoint!”

Flynn goes to lift Alias into a reverse atomic drop… But Alias backflips over Flynn and… WHAM! Flynn swings his head backwards and reverse headbutts straight into Alias’ nose!

Alias crumples into the ropes!

HHL: “Wow! That strike was ugly and it was desperate!”

PIP: “Desperate?!? Try ‘Genius’, Heather! Flynn remembered Alias countering his german suplex at the start of the match, assumed how Alias would counter, and plotted the perfect strike to end Alias’ comeback before it ever started.”

HHL: “Well, If Alias wasn’t bleeding before, he’s got some blood running down his nose now…”

Flynn turns and scoops Alias off the mat, wrapping his arms around Alias’ waist… Before lifting him in a gutwrench and heaving him through the air! Massive Gutwrench suplex!

Flynn covers the still-disoriented Alias, driving the elbow again into Alias’ now-bleeding nose.

The official counts!

1!

2!

THRE-NO! Alias finds the wherewithal to kick out!

PIP: “Flynn has control! Flynn has the technical edge! It’s just a matter of time now, Heather!”

HHL: “I’m not the biggest Flynn fan, I’ll acknowledge that. And 99% of the time, I’d agree with you, Pip. But this is Alias. The man who might have the least quit in all of the XWF. If there’s any way to beat back Flynn from this point…”

PIP: “Then, Flynn knows it already and is prepared to counter it!”

HHL: “...I’m just saying, never count Alias out!”

Flynn grabs both of Alias’ tenderized arms and yanks them backwards against his spine! Surfboard Stretch!

Alias howls, his back and arms aching as Flynn wrenches his wrists backwards to maintain the hold… The official stands over Alias, asking if he’d like to continue…

Alias tries to twist his body to the left, to start breaking the hold… But Flynn squeezes on Alias’ injured wrist, where Flynn has been stomping… It’s too painful… Alias reflexively hesitates, and that split-second hesitation allows Flynn to regain control…

Alias tries to do the same to the right… But the same result! Flynn applies extra torque to the weakest parts of the limb and Alias can’t fight out, back in the center of the surfboard stretch.

PIP: “Like Sisyphus and his boulder, Heather! Alias has all the can-do, never-say-die spirit in the world! But the BODY! THE BODY! Is subject to the whims of Mark Flynn! And escape is impossible!”

Alias grits his teeth… And suddenly rolls backwards, just past Flynn’s knee! Flynn is shocked and Alias’ legs kick backwards… And around Flynn’s neck! Alias swings his body through the air and plants Flynn’s back on the mat!

HHL: “WOW! Incredible tilt-a-whirl headscissors! Do you think Flynn had scouted for that, Pip?”

PIP: “...”

Flynn, knocked for a loop and clearly dazed, tries to get back to his feet quickly… But Alias boots him to the chest… And reaches with his foot for the chair that’s still in the ring!

He scoots it under him and… DDTs Flynn onto the chair!

HHL: “Incredible ring awareness by Alias to remember all the tools at his disposal!”

Flynn lays face-down on the chest, breathing heavily… As red starts to stain the mat beneath his face…

Alias struggles with his wounded-arms to flip Flynn onto his back…

Struggling…

Finally, Flynn’s deadweight flips onto his shoulders! His face gushes blood!

Alias, ignoring the crimson mask on Flynn’s face, leans backwards over Flynn, his arms too hurt to hook the leg!

The official counts!

1!

2!

THRE-AT THE LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT, Flynn’s foot climbs onto the bottom rope!

PIP: “RING! GENERAL!”

As Alias rises from the pin, the official spins the former Uni champ around and points to Flynn’s leg on the bottom rope.

Alias seems unbothered, and squeezes his wrist, trying to return some feeling to that Left Hand…

Flynn desperately paws in the air, grabbing the ropes to drag himself to his feet, as Alias calls for it!

HHL: “Here we go! One order of Left Hand, coming up!”

Flynn is upright… and turns around… Alias’ left-hand darts through the air!

…

But Flynn sidesteps it! He grapples Alias in a double-underhook!

HHL: “He could be looking for a big suplex or may…”

Suddenly, Flynn lifts Alias… Then drops him down into a facebuster! PAGE PLANT!

PIP: “OH MY GOD! THE FINISHING MOVE OF CHRIS PAGE! WE WEREN’T SURE WE’D EVER SEE THAT AGAIN IN AN XWF MATCH!”

Page is outside the ring, surprised, but clapping for a great counter.

Alias is out as Flynn flips the World-Eater onto his back and hooks the leg!

The official counts!

1

2!

THREEEEEEE-NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Alias kicks out!

Page stops clapping. Flynn is aghast. He buries his bloody face in his hands.

HHL: “Flynn pulled out an impressive trick, countering Alias’ attack with his agent’s signature move! But Alias lives yet!”

Flynn, exasperated, crawls back to his feet… At about the same pace his opponent does!

Flynn catches Alias with a right hand! The crowd ooohs!

Alias fires back with a left! The crowd cheers!

Flynn shakes off the left and fires a left of his own! The crowd oohs!

Alias immediately fires back with his gloved hand! The Other Left! Flynn ragdolls backwards and rolls over himself!

HHL: “Incredible strike by Alias! The crowd is on its feet here…”

Alias once again sizes Flynn up, prepping that Left Hand…

Flynn, shocked… scrambles back up… Alias’s Left Hand zips through the air…

It hits Flynn’s mouth!

…

But Flynn catches it with his teeth, biting down on Alias’ middle finger! Alias howls in pain, reeling back his fist!

PIP: “Incredible counter by Mark Flynn!”

Before Alias can recover, Flynn slips behind Alias and hits an inverted headlock backbreaker!

Alias is disoriented, but Flynn holds him up… In Guillotine position!

PIP: “Heather! HEATHER!”

HHL: “I’m begging you, Pip. Don’t say it!”

Flynn delivers the inverted facelock backbreaker, dropping Alias’ spine against his back…

THEN DELIVERS THE ROLLING CUTTER!

PIP: “This match just reached its Logical Conclusion!”

HHL: “...”

Alias hits the mat like a ragdoll… Flynn breathes a sigh of relief as he hooks the leg.

The official counts!

1!

2!

THREEEEEEEEE NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ALIAS’ SHOULDER SHOOTS OFF THE GROUND!

Flynn is shell-shocked! He’s in disbelief! He lifts three fingers at the official, but the ref replies with two!

PIP: “...There’s no way! The count must have been slow! Stop the Steal!”

HHL: “The count was fine, Pip! But! Alias never says die!”

Flynn shakes his head and looks at Page. Page is as befuddled as Flynn as to how to put this guy away. Flynn bites his lip… And points toward the top rope!

HHL: “Flynn is opting to take this to the high-risk district!”

PIP: “High-risk, high-reward, Heather! And Flynn is going for the highest-reward anyone could possibly imagine! Immortality!”

Flynn steps out to the apron and climbs up the turnbuckle…

Alias lies on the mat, seemingly unconscious! Flynn stands up and points to the sky!

PIP: “This is his moment, Heather! The Optimal Path is within his reach!”

Flynn leaps! Flying knee dro-

Alias rolls out of harm’s way! Flynn crashes and burns!

HHL: “Took the risk! And no reward!”

PIP: “...”

Flynn clutches his knee, scurrying up to his feet… Alias is up as well.

Flynn goes for a headbutt… AND ENDS UP WITH ALIAS’ HAND IN HIS MOUTH! EAT THE LEFT HAND! The crowd is screaming!

HHL: “Flynn is eating the left hand! Alias has his hooks locked in deep!”

PIP: “No no no no no no no! Please no!”

Flynn tries to reel back, but Alias’ grip is too deep…

Flynn’s eyes start to whiten… Alias pushes his hand further!

And with that push, Flynn winds up on his back!

The official counts!

1!

2!

Flynn desperately tries to wriggle his body off the ground!

…

BUT HE CAN’T OVERPOWER ALIAS!

THREE!

WINNER - ALIAS

The official goes to lift Alias’ arm in the air, but Alias is already rolling off the mat to the back.

Flynn coughs up a lung as oxygen rushes back into his system. Page climbs in the ring and tries to help his client back up-right.

An Alias chant breaks out among the crowd.

HHL: “Let’s go down the list, Pip. Since his return, Alias has beaten Unknown Soldier, Xavier Lux, Charlie Nickles! And now, Mark Flynn! How does Alias just keep getting better?”

PIP: “Shut up, Heather. Alias may have won some big matches. But at March Madness, he has to fight a FOUR-TIME World Champion! Possibly the only man in the wrestling business to hold three world titles at one-time! Peter Vaughn!”

HHL: “It’ll be quite a challenge, Pip! But if anyone is up to the task? It’s Alias.”

---

In between matches, a smaller ring is lowered from the rafters on wires until it eventually sets down in the middle of the regular ring. On the aprons of the smaller ring are banners reading 95 LIVE!

As the small ring settles and ring techs remove the wires, new XWF Minis General Manager Quentin Quinn arrives from the ramp along with a referee of equal size. The two men enter the large ring and then climb into the smaller one as Quentin brings a mic to his mouth.

"XWF Megaverse, I hope you are enjoying Saturday Night Savage!"

The crowd cheers.

"Good... good... but now it is time for something different! Something exciting! Something fresh! Something you will not see anywhere else in the landscape of the wrestling business! First, though... let me introduce to you the OFFICIAL referee for the Minis Division. You cannot possibly expect the nuance and beauty of minis wrestling to be appreciated by overgrown behemoths like Ari Silverstein. No. We need a MINI referee... and that is why I recruited the fair and righteous ... Tater McGillicutty!"


Tater waves to the confused crowd as Quentin Quinn smiles.

"Now... are you ready for some MINIS ACTION!?"

The crowd pops mildly, unsure of what to think. Quinn then points to the ramp.



"Introducing first, weighing in at a strong and sinewy 78 pounds... from Graceland... LI'L ELVIS!"


Li'l Elvis walks out from the back, swiveling his hips extremely sexily as he heads to the ring with his ukelele. He poses in his sequined jumpsuit for the cameras when he enters the ring within a ring, then stands in one corner and waits.




"And his opponent, weighing 40 pounds even... from San Diego, California... PEBBLES!"



Pebbles rushes out from the back like a ball of energy, slapping hands and excitedly jumping up and down with a huge grin on her face. She rolls into the big ring and then springboards into the smaller one, standing on top of the turnbuckles with her hands outstretched as the crowd gets behind her quickly.




Tater McGillicutty calls for the bell as Quentin Quinn exits the rings and leaves the area.

Right off the bat, Pebbles uses her speed and agility to flummox Li'l Elvis. She grabs him in an armdrag and then repeats it from the top rope! Elvis is angry and he pounds the mat with his mini fists.

Pebbles hits a springboard dropkick, and then a moonsault from the top that almost gets her a three count... and Li'l Elvis powders out of the ring after kicking out.

After waiting for Tater to count to nine, Elvis gets back in the ring and locks up with Pebbles, shoving her into a corner and cracking a knife edge chop across her chest. He whips her across the ring and crashes into her with a running back elbow before dropping a leg across her collar, getting a two count of his own before Pebbes gets a shoulder up.

Li'l Elvis is clearly annoyed at the count speed and gets in the ref's face, which allows Pebbles to roll him up from behind!


1!



2!!


Kickout!!!


Li'l Elvis is done messing around and plants a fist right in Pebbles' face after they get to their feet, which gets Tater McGillicutty admonishing him for the use of a closed fist. Li'l Elvis ignores him and goes to his corner, grabbing his uke!

Pebbles stands up holding her face and Li'l Elvis SMASHES the ukelele right over her head! Tater calls for the bell as the splinters fly, and the crowd boos Elvis like crazy.

Winner by DQ - Pebbles

Li'l Elvis heads to the back as audience members throw trash at him, and medics tend to Pebbles inside the small ring.

---

As soon as LSM's theme music hits the speakers the crowd starts cheering for their favorita luchadora. As the bass bumps through the arena the crowd chants along to the music. A spectacle of green and red pyrotechnics shoot up twenty five feet from the entrance platform. A complimentary arrangement of pyro shoots up through the four turnbuckles of the ring.

Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Who's this?


Latina Submission Machina pops out onto the entrance ramp alongside an additional burst of pyrotechnic fireworks. The crowd pops hard for the 24/7 freestyle champion as she holds the belt up high over her head.

Mach-ina Mach-ina!

The masked luchadora bounces around just outside the tunnel for a moment. She flings her red hair to the side as she starts walking down the ramp. She gives out a few high fives and exchanges a few courtesies with some of the front-row fans on her way down to the ring. The crowd begins to clap along to the beat of the theme music as LSM nears the squared circle.

Latina Submission Machina slides beneath the ropes to great applause from the crowd. LSM hands her championship belt over to the referee for safekeeping before she starts pumping up the crowd to cheer louder. Moments later Latina Submission Machina quickly breaks away and starts running the ropes of the ring, testing out the squared circle and getting a feel for it's qualities. Content with it's fitness, the luchadora grabs a hold of the ropes and comes to a controlled halt. She turns to the referee and tells them she's ready to go. The luchadora heads to the corner as instructed and begins reveling in the applause of her fans.


Jenny walks out to the ramp, focused. Her hair is tied up in two pink and blonde pig tails. She has a purple shirt on with a black pain stained overall style smock, and fishnets with sneakers.

She walks down the ramp, staring at LSM. She walks up the steps and into the ring, cocking her head to the side when she gets into the ring with a creepy look.

JENNY MYST - vs - LATINA SUBMISSION MACHINA STANDARD MATCH - SAVAGE RULES

The bell rings and Jenny explodes out of the corner. It takes LSM by surprise. Jenny is throwing a furious combination of punches, body and head shots, and ends it off with a kick to the mid-section. Grabbing LSM by the hair, she arm drags her out to the center of the ring where she locks in a sleeper from a sitting position. She screams with an intense look as she has LSM locked in. The Latina Submission Machina is fighting it, trying to get out of it. Jenny lets go and clubs her across the top of the head. She looks at Pip and Heather, screaming.

Pip: She gets creepier by the day.

Heather: I like it.

Pip: You would.

LSM is back on her feet, and she goes for a clothesline, Jenny ducks it and picks her up, dropping her for a scoop slam. Coming off the ropes Jenny drops a knee across her masked face.

She goes for the pin.


1






2





LSM gets a shoulder up. Jenny grins, as though she is happy that she gets to inflict more punishment. She picks up LSM by the hair and leans her against the ropes. She delivers a huge chop across the chest to an OHHH from the crowd, before whipping her off the ropes in the other direction.

Jenny goes for a clothesline, and LSM ducks it, coming back off the rebound and hitting a drop kick, taking Jenny down for the first time. Jenny jumps to her feet, and LSM is ready. The two square up and circle again, and then tie up. The much bigger LSM gets the strength advantage, and tosses Jenny by the hair into the corner. She now is on the attack as she begins to rain down a series of kicks and punches, showing off her striking skills. She tosses Jenny into the middle of the ring and signals that she is gonna climb to the top.

Pip: She's gonna fly!

She dives off the top with a moonsault and connects!

Hooks the leg.


1
























2





























3---JENNY KICKS OUT.

LSM picks her up by the hair, and when she stands Jenny up, the veteran is able to gain the advantage back by poking her in the eye with her thumb. Then a knee to the cut and a face buster.

She sits back up and smiles a sick smile, her face twisted in an evil grin. She looks over at LSM. As she tries to crawl away Jenny grabs her ankle.

HEEL LOCK.

Pip: Jenny locks in the heel lock! A brutal maneuever and that same one that beat Madison Dyson!

Heather: She said she was gonna do it!

LSM, knowing the predicament she is in, is frantically trying to reach the ropes. Jenny twists and wrenches, LSM puts her head down on the mat, hair covering her masked face.

Finally, just when it looks like she is about to tap, LSM is able to turn just enough to kick as Jenny. She gets a few kicks in, which break the hold.

She uses the ropes to pull herself up, but its clear she is favoring that leg. Jenny grabs her by the hair, and LSM slides around, wrapping around the waist. Jenny elbows out of it, and whips a gimpy LSM into the ropes. Jenny goes for a clothesline, but LSM ducks, and comes back on the rebound. Jenny goes low and chops the leg. She drops LSM down to one knee and immediately grabs that leg again.

HEEL LOCK again!

Heather: She is determined to make her tap out! Just brutal!

Jenny applies more pressure as LSM reaches for the ropes.

She's reaching, desperate to reach the ropes. She is almost there....

Jenny drops down and hooks the neck, locking in an STF!

She torques!

LSM tries to hold out but the pain is too much.

She taps.

The bell rings.

Pip: She did it! The crazy one did it! Jenny said she was gonna make her tap and by god she did it!

Heather: And she is going to the final four!

Pip: A dominating performance by the twisted sister and this one was never really close!

---

"Realize" By AC/DC starts to play as the fans start booing. Out walks Barney Green pulling a garbage can full of weapons including kendo sticks, fluorescent bulbs, chains, and who knows what else, dressed in his garbage man uniform. He slowly walks out and starts arguing back with the fans. He reveals his trash can and dumps a bunch of trash out of it onto the fans. He slowly enters the ring as fans start throwing garbage back at him. He waits in the corner as the music fades.



Twenty midgets with sparkers in both hands held as high as their little arms can reach, line both sides of the entrance ramp. The sparkers ignite as Thunder Knuckles walks past them. Once Thunder Knuckles is down to the ring he rolls under the bottom rope and in one movement he pops up to his feet. With his back turned towards the camera, he raises his right fist in defiance. As soon as his fist goes up, counterfeit xbux with Thunder Knuckles' face on them fall onto the crowd.

THUNDER KNUCKLES - vs - BARNEY GREEN STANDARD MATCH - SAVAGE RULES

DING! DING! DING!


HHL: "And off we go! Our second of four Elite 8 matches to kick off the King of the XWF Tournament!"

PIP: "I don't know what Barney was thinking bringing all of that stuff to the ring! This isn't even an extreme rules match!"

HHL: "It looks like it is now, Pip!"


Barney reaches into the dirty, beat-up garbage can and pulls out two kendo sticks and tosses one to TK. TK catches it and takes a couple slow practice swings before he meets Barney in the center of the ring where the Xtreme Legend looks like he's challenging TK to take the first blow. The no good bastard shrugs, nods, then takes the kendo stick by two hands and cracks Barney over the head! Seemingly unphased, Barney shakes it off and returns the blow with a one handed over head swing! TK takes a step back and shakes it off, too, then winds back and cracks Barney over the head again splitting the kendo stick!


HHL: "I'm sure TK realizes that going blow for blow to the head with Barney Green isn't the wisest thing to do here!"

PIP: "There is one thing I know Barney has going for him, Heather… Years and years of head trauma!"


Barney swings his kendo stick at TK, but it's dodged! TK drops his own and bounces off the ropes to the side then the two meet in the middle in a stalemate as they bounce off of each other with their shoulders. Barney swings the kendo stick laterally and connects this time on the side of TK's leg! He winces and steps away only to get cracked again in the back by Barney which snaps that kendo stick! TK faces Barney and takes a swift kick to the midsection that knocks him back against the corner! Barney rushes in, TK slips out of the way and the big splash comes up empty when Barney hits nothing but the turnbuckle! Barney falls back and TK rolls him up!


ONE!!






TWO!!!!




Barney rolls through and both men climb back to their feet. Barney points to the garbage can and heads for it. Before he gets there he's grabbed by TK by the head and slammed into the top turnbuckle. Barney turns and rests against the corner as TK takes a few steps back and connects with a super kick just under Barney's chin knocking a wad of spit out of Barney's mouth and onto a lucky fan in the front row! Barney falls to his knees where he's grabbed by TK and DDT'd into the mat!

HHL: "Barney was ready for another trial with some foreign objects but Thunder Knuckles didn't take him up on the offer!"

TK takes his feet and plays the crowd for a moment before heading over to the garbage can still filled with foreign objects and holds it upside down dumping its contents out on the mat.


PIP: "Do I see a ?!"

HHL: "Barney Green apparently counts everything as a deadly weapon!"


TK takes the empty garbage can and smacks it across the back of the Xtreme Legend breaking him back down as he attempts to get up! TK tosses the trash can aside and rolls Barney over for another pin attempt!


PIP: "TK for the win!"


ONE!!!!







TWO!!!!





Barney kicks out!

TK lifts Barney to his feet and Irish whips him! Barney bounces off the ropes and ducks a clothesline by TK! Barney takes another bounce and leaps in the air and hits TK with a cross-body splash! Barney reaches back and pulls a leg!!


ONE!!!






TWO!!!



TK kicks out!!!


HHL: "Barney with a chance out of nowhere!"

PIP: "Oh man… Could you imagine a King Barney?"


Barney makes his way over to the small pile of items that TK dumped from the garbage can and grabs a nightstick! He holds it over his forearm and slams it down onto TK's head not once! Not twice! But three times! TK finally manages to roll out of the ring before Barney can deliver any more punishment to regain his bearings while Barney revs up the crowd from inside the ring. TK circles the ring gathering his bearings as Barney takes a bounce off the ropes and heads his way. The Xtreme Legend slides under the ropes on the canvas and knocks TK's block off with a Mean Green baseball slide that sends his opponent crashing into the barricade! Barney wastes no time and grabs Thunder Knuckles and slams his head off the corner ring post, then the steel steps! TK flails back again and rests against the barricade now.

Barney rolls back into the ring and grabs a spool of barbed-wire that TK spilled from the trash can a few moments ago. He then challenges the bastard to get back in the ring and in the meantime uses the barbed-wire to cut along his own forehead causing blood to run down his face.

PIP: "I knew Barney wasn't all there! Why would he do that to his own face?!"

HHL: "No boundaries or limits for the Xtreme Green Machine, Pip!"

TK bides his time and waits for Barney to take his sights off of him before he thinks about rolling back into the ring. He grabs an empty chair from ringside, folds it up, and tosses it into the ring striking Barney! While Barney shakes off the blow, as he wipes some of the blood running out of his face, TK quickly slides in and grabs a fluorescent light bulb… He waits for Barney to turn around and shatters it over his skull! That blinds Barney and causes him to drop the spool! TK now grabs the empty garbage can and fits it around Barney's frame, takes a bounce off the ropes, and super kicks Barney through the can! Barney falls flat on the mat! TK grabs Barney by the ankle and signals for the end!!

HHL: "Uh oh! It looks like TK is looking to put Barney away! Will Thunder Knuckles advance to the next round?!"

He tucks Barney's ankle while he's still trapped in the garbage can and hits a devastating Thunder Strike!!!!

PIP: "Oh!!! That's brutal!!"

HHL: "Do you think the garbage can added to the impact?"

TK goes off the ropes and drops an overexaggerated elbow across the still trapped Barney and covers him!!




ONE!!!!



















TWO!!!!







































THREE!!!!

WINNER via PINFALL and ADVANCING IN THE MARCH MADNESS TOURNAMENT - THUNDER KNUCKLES

---

The arena lights turn gold as the intro of “Soldier Dream” by ROOT FIVE hits the PA.

ANNOUNCER: “And now, standing tall at 6'0" and weighing in at 227 lbs., from Osaka, Japan, “The Lion”... RAIOOOOOOOOOOON… KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Raion Kido appears on stage, letting out a lion’s roar.

“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Mezasu kiboo no iro wa
Kedakai hodo utsukushii…”

Raion spreads his arms and breaks into a bird run towards the ring, slapping the fans’ hands along the way. He slides into the ring on his belly and springs into his feet.

“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Tsubasa wa ten wo kakeru
Erabareta moushigo no you niiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”

Facing the camera, Raion throws a one-two punch forward, his final pose as the music dies down.





As the Instrumental version of the Power Rangers theme song begins to play, the stage parts like the Red Sea as the crowd waits with anticipation. Up from below rises none other than Cage Coleman, wearing a modified version of Saiyan armor and a green Power Ranger helmet. He holds his arms in the air with excitement before punching the air in front of him, sending fireworks shooting up the entryway.

The Traveler then makes his way down the ramp, slapping hands with random fans and pumping them up as he passes by. Once at ringside, he jumps up onto the apron and over the top rope, inside the squared circle. He runs the ropes a few times before taking off his entrance gear and preparing himself mentally for the match ahead.


Ding! Ding! Ding!

RAION KIDO - vs - CAGE COLEMAN STANDARD MATCH - SAVAGE RULES

The bell rings and Cage and Kido immediately start circling each other in the middle of the ring. Both men are staring at the other and getting a glimpse of how the other moves in real time. The crowd is almost entirely chanting in favor of Raion Kido, and he knows it. Kido winks at Coleman as the crowd shouts in his favor, and this anges Coleman. Cage charges straight ahead at Raion!

PC: “Cage Coleman is one of the most impressive wrestlers with tremendous overseas experience. He thinks he deserves better treatment than this from the XWF fans!”

HHL: “They don’t like him!”

Coleman swings out at Kido, but Raion ducks under him and bounces off the ropes. Cage Coleman turns around just in time to see Raion coming back at him with a dropkick! Coleman sidesteps the dropkick and lets Raion Kido fall to the mat. As Raion Kido goes to stand back up Cage Coleman punts him in the face!

HHL: “That’s a dirty move, but Raion left himself open to it!”

PC: “Cage Coleman should try out for the NFL if he can punt like that consistently!”

Kido rolls out of the way as Cage Coleman goes to press the advantage. Kido quickly picks himself up to his feet but he’s standing tall just in time to be pushed back with a well placed jab from Coleman. Kido takes one step back from the force of the blow. Coleman takes two steps forward before cocking back for another punch- but Kido blocks the punch before countering with back-to-back body shots that hit The Traveler’s liver! Coleman audibly oofs as he clutches his side.

Kido pushes Coleman back a few paces before delivering a loud lion’s roar to the audience. Kido’s roar gets the crowd all amped up and they’re screaming his name as he begins to unleash a flurry of lightning-fast punches to Coleman’s face. One after the other the punches keep on coming, but somehow Coleman is still standing! He is being forced back step by step by Kido’s quick blows but he isn’t falling. Raion Kido now has Coleman backing up towards the ropes!

PC: “This flurry of strikes is showing no signs of ending!”

HHL: “I don’t know how Coleman is going to escape this dozen punch combination!”

The punches keep coming but Cage shows no signs of leaving his feet. Cage is completely backed up against the ropes and eating punch after punch after punch….until suddenly one body blow sends him flying between the ropes and out of the ring!

PC: “Well that’s one way to get out of that bad spot!”

HHL: “I’m not sure that was intentional, Pip!”

PC: “Intentional or not, it gave Coleman some space from Raion and that’s what he really needs right now!”

Coleman falls to the ground outside the ring and immediately begins holding his head and groaning in pain. The referee looks over the top rope before walking to the middle of the ring and preparing his ten count. Raion, meanwhile, is charging towards the opposite ropes. The referee begins his count….


1




2




Coleman is slowly picking himself up with the help of the ringside barrier. The fans in the front row are screaming profanities in his face and saying all sorts of mean things to him as The Traveler tries to recover.


3


Raion Kido charges towards the side of the ring that Coleman escaped through…

PC: “WHAT IS RAION DOING?!”

KIDO LEAPS OVER THE TOP ROPE! IT’S A SUICIDE DIVE AIMED TOWARDS THE RINGSIDE BARRIER!

HHL: “KIDO, NO!”

Coleman darts away from the barrier just as Kido is in the apex of his flight! Raion’s face looks worried- then Raion’s body slams straight into the barrier! Coleman is laughing his ass off as Kido lay still against the black barrier. The crowd gasps in shock! Even the referee gasps, delaying his initiation of the new ten count!

Coleman takes advantage of the situation and immediately begins hammering Kido with a string of kicks to the back of the head. After five or six kicks Coleman picks Kido up before irish whipping him into the steel steps! The referee cringes in empathetic pain before he finally begins his count.


1



2



PC: “The momentum of this match has completely changed, Heather!”

HHL: “Young wrestlers do stupid, heroic things! And Coleman is capitalizing on that fact!”

Coleman walks over to Raion Kido, who is now cringing in pain atop the steps.


3


4


Coleman grabs Kido and lifts him up by the hair- only to slam his head down onto the steel steps, splitting Kido’s forehead open! Blood gushes out all over the steps!


5


6


Coleman spits in Raion Kido’s face before rolling him back into the ring beneath the bottom rope.

HHL: “Rolling his opponent into the ring could be a mistake that comes back to haunt him- there’s a chance Coleman could’ve won by count out tonight!”

PC: “This is March Madness, Heather- and Coleman is looking to show everyone just how much of a madman he is! No one would respect a King of the Ring that earned the crown through countout, and Coleman knows this!”

HHL: “I’m surprised he cares what others think!”

PC: “Well, Raion was hitting him in the head awfully hard earlier…truthfully, he may have forgotten that he CAN win by count out in the March Madness tournament!”

7



8


Coleman climbs the ringside apron and positions himself atop the top rope of a corner turnbuckle.

9


FROG SPLASH FROM THE TOP ROPE! COLEMAN LANDS RIGHT ON TOP OF KIDO AND HOOKS THE LEG IMMEDIATELY! The referee drops to the ground and starts to count!



1










2








KICKOUT!

PC: “This isn’t over yet!”

HHL: “Raion still has more fight left in him!”

Coleman pounds his hands against the mat in anger as Raion gets his shoulder up just in time. Cage picks his bleeding opponent up and forces him to a standing position. Then, Coleman intermingles his limbs with Kido’s before quickly picking him up off the ground and slamming him down with a DRAGON SUPLEX! Then, Coleman rolls over while holding Raion. Coleman picks Raion up again and delivers a SECOND DRAGON SUPLEX before holding Raion down for a pin!


PC: “That’s enough to finish just about anyone in the XWF!”

HHL: “Who saw Coleman winning this first round match-up?! I know I didn’t! This could be a huge upset, which is shocking, because Coleman is the only former XWF champion in this match- maybe we’ve all been underestimating Coleman!”

The referee drops down to count.


1







2






3- NO! KIDO LIFTS HIS LEFT SHOULDER A FEW CENTIMETERS OFF THE GROUND TO BREAK THE PINFALL ATTEMPT!

Coleman can’t believe that the ref called it a 2! He looks in shock at the referee…before he starts screaming at the referee! Coleman and the referee both climb to their feet as Cage starts pointing an accusatory finger at the official. Coleman starts pressing up on the ref’s personal space, forcing the referee to be cornered into a turnbuckle. The referee is starting to look very concerned, and Cage isn’t listening to his commands to back up. Coleman is demanding that the referee reverse his earlier count and deem the pinfall valid!

HHL: “Cage thinks he’s just been robbed!”

PC: “If he doesn’t get back to working on Raion Kido, Cage might just rob himself of a spot in the final four!”

The bloodied Raion Kido seems to be waking himself up in the center of the ring. Raion turns over and pushes himself up to his hands and knees: meanwhile, Cage Coleman is accusing the referee of theft over in the corner! Coleman is as irate as we’ve ever seen him, he’s convinced Kido didn’t kick out and the ref is straight up fucking him!

Raion Kido pushes himself to his feet and wipes away some of the blood from his face. Kido rubs his now bloodied hands on his wrestling attire before lifting his gaze and staring right at Cage Coleman’s back. But still, The Traveler is still pointing a finger at the ref and screaming at him.

PC: “Turn around, Cage!”

HHL: “Go in for the kill now, Kido! This is your best chance!”

The referee interrupts Coleman’s rant to inform him that Kido is now standing tall in the center of the ring! Cage’s eyes go wide as he slowly turns around…..

Raion Kido runs right at Coleman with an extended fist! As Coleman turns around he sees that Raion is only a few feet away from him! Cage lifts his hands up to block his face from any incoming attacks….but Raion Kido’s strike finds it’s target! Coleman crumples to the ground, seemingly lifeless!

HHL: “LIGHTNING BOLT!”

PC: “That heart punch might have actually KILLED Cage Coleman! He was so worked up and now he’s just still- I mean, look at him!”

Cage Coleman does look a bit stiff and cold after the heart punch collapses him to the ground. Nonetheless the bleeding mess that is Raion Kido flips Coleman onto his back and lays upon him for the pinfall!


1






2








3!

WINNER via PINFALL and ADVANCING IN THE MARCH MADNESS TOURNAMENT - RAION KIDO

Raion Kido slowly rolls off of Cage Coleman as two pairs of paramedics begin running down the entrance ramp. One pair of paramedics slide into the ring with a stretcher and immediately begin checking on Coleman. The paramedics look incredibly concerned and begin strapping Coleman to the stretcher. Meanwhile, another pair of paramedics begins picking Raion up and ushering him over to a corner in order to treat his gushing head wound.

PC: “This match was….MADNESS! Raion Kido definitely earned his spot in the final four, the only question is how fit will he be for the competition?!”

HHL: “When I said Raion should go in for the kill I didn’t really mean it! I hope Coleman is alright! That heart punch looked nasty!”

PC: “Coleman is a former X-treme champion, Heather, he’ll be fine! He just needs to walk it off!”

---

The lights in the arena suddenly go out, causing the usual hysteria from the crowd. After a few seconds, the Tron lights up:


Peter Vaughn’s laughter can be heard, carrying on as the Tron video overtakes his image, playing “This Time It’s Different” by Evans Blue. Sparks begin to erupt around the stage, showering nearby fans who feel like they’re a little too close to the action. As the fireworks die down, two figures appear through the smoke and haze: “Chronic” Chris Page and “The Mechanic” Peter Vaughn.

HHL: We’ve got an unscheduled appearance from the XWF Universal Champion!

PIP: When you’re at the top, Heather, you don’t have to schedule a damn thing.

HHL: From recent events, though, I don’t know how much longer Vaughn will be at the top. He’s been haunted ever since winning the championship by the 2021 XWF Star of the Year, ALIAS.

PIP: It seems like most people believe that Vaughn is just a transitional champion to get the belt back around ALIAS’ waist. I bet Vaughn gets ticked every time he hears that. I know it’d piss me off.

Vaughn is keeping the XWF Universal Title cradled in his hands, making sure no fans can grab at it as he walks by. Page goes up the stairs first, waiting as Vaughn steps up onto the apron and enters the ring before stepping through as well. Vaughn gets the title shifted in his hands before turning to Page, who has a mic.

Chris Page: Ladies and gentlemen, and all the wrestling fans out here in the arena, stand up for the man who’s setting his sights on being the XWF Star of the Year in 2022… YOUR XWF Universal Champion… “3 Pete” Peter Vaughn!!

The crowd just gets louder, not accepting Vaughn as their champion, but Vaughn raises the belt up anyways, holding it delicately above his head. He lowers it back down, grinning as he nods to Page and takes the mic from him.

Peter Vaughn: Thank you, thank you for that “warm” reaction. It’s been a hell of a year so far for Peter Vaughn. There has not been a single day this year when I haven’t had the touch of gold in my hands. The majority of that time, I’ve held three of these beautiful belts.

PIP: I hate to admit it, but that is an impressive statistic.

HHL: C’mon, we’re just three months into the year!

PIP: And you know how many wrestlers have held gold that whole time? Don’t make it out like it’s so easy!

The crowd doesn’t care about the title reigns, starting up a “Janitor” chant to mock Vaughn. His smile falters somewhat at the use of his old nickname, but he shrugs it off.

Peter Vaughn: Last month, I did what most of you out there thought was an impossible task: I crushed Jim Caedus and won this title, knocking Caedus right out of the XWF. The Exiles won the war, eliminating Apex from competition. By all accounts, I should be on top of the world. But one man has decided to rain on my parade: the former champion, ALIAS.

This gets a pop, as the crowd loves having ALIAS back in the XWF.

Peter Vaughn: Now, I get it. I understand. ALIAS found himself knocked unconscious and taken advantage of when Caedus opted to cash in his briefcase. Caedus deviously pinned him without allowing him to fight back, showing that he was scared of ALIAS. Caedus had no sense of honor, refusing to give ALIAS a quick rematch, so he deserves this opportunity now that I’ve freed the title from that tyrant.

HHL: But the reason ALIAS was taken out was because of the Exiles attacking him! Vaughn was going to cash in that title shot himself!

PIP: Details, details, let’s give the man time to explain himself.

Peter Vaughn: It should be an easy build between the two of us. I respect what ALIAS has done in the past, and I was hoping he’d respect what I’ve done in the present. Instead, ALIAS has been showing up without invitation, trying to steal my championship from my own hands. He appeared at the Denzel Porter Invitation, attacking myself & my allies in the Exiles after our epic confrontation with Genesis. It was really a cowardly move, to be honest, waiting until I was exhausted from a huge battle to come after me.

HHL: What a hypocrite! They attacked ALIAS after his main event match at Bad Medicine!

PIP: Shush, Heather! Let the champ speak!

Peter Vaughn: And using a blowtorch? Trying to set your opponents on fire? Who brings weapons like that to the ring??

HHL: Vaughn is well-known for using tranquilizer dart guns!!

PIP: Damn it, I’m really trying to listen to this! Stop interrupting!

As the crowd continues to show their displeasure with Vaughn, he paces back and forth in the ring, shaking his head.

Peter Vaughn: You know, this could be a battle of two hardened warriors, with a chance of the fight of the century taking place. Instead, all I hear from people is “Hope you enjoyed the title reign, it ends at March Madness 4.” I suppose I understand, given what ALIAS has achieved in his career. But you know what? Nobody’s infallible. Caedus certainly wasn’t. Y’all out there remember saying that he was going to surely, assuredly, most definitely defeat me and retain the title? You were all wrong then… and I’m going to prove you all wrong once more.

Vaughn smirks, looking back at Page for a moment. The crowd, agitated, begins to chant for ALIAS, wanting him to make an appearance. Hearing this, Vaughn begins to nod.

Peter Vaughn: Oh, you all want to see ALIAS, huh? Well, you know what? SO DO I!! You see, tonight, I haven’t been in a battle with some of the best in the business, members of the CCPE like Thaddeus Duke and Mark Flynn. As of right now, I’m one hundred percent! So if ALIAS wants to get his unbeatable ass down here, I welcome it!

The crowd cheers loudly hoping that this happens. Vaughn waits a moment, watching the back.

HHL: Vaughn’s calling out the former champion!

PIP: Gotta admire his guts, very few have been able to stand against ALIAS on their own!

HHL: He’s not on his own, Page is in there!

PIP: Only as his agent, not as a wrestler.

With no appearance of ALIAS as of yet, Vaughn shakes his head and tries again.

Peter Vaughn: C’mon, ALIAS! You don’t want to let all these fans down, do you? You keep acting like you’re going to easily take my championship away from me again. Well, c’mon! Prove it! Get yourself down here and…

The lights go out.

The crowd roars.

PIP: Here we go!

HHL: Is it…

In the darkness, fire rises around the ring. At the same time, snow begins to fall from the ceiling, catching the light of the flames and shimmering like stars.

There is fire.

There is ice.

And standing in the middle of the ring as the lights come up…

PIP: He’s here!!

There is ALIAS.

Once again, he has appeared in the ring with no warning, and he is once again holding Vaughn’s XWF Universal Title in his hands. Vaughn looks down, shaking his head at how quickly ALIAS can make that happen.

HHL: ALIAS is obviously not backing down.

PIP: How does he DO that?

ALIAS smirks at Vaughn as he holds the title, a belt that spent so much time in his grasp. He waits for Vaughn to make his move, but surprisingly Vaughn just takes a step backwards… then a second. The fans boo, wanting to see a brawl between the two, but instead Vaughn shows no signs of charging forward.

HHL: Is Vaughn going to fight for his belt?

PIP: I don’t get it, he called ALIAS out here, and now he’s not going to attack?

ALIAS doesn’t look impressed as the champion moves away from him. But Vaughn suddenly has a large smile on his face. He has pulled out a small, rectangular device from his side pocket, raising it upwards. Before ALIAS can do anything, Vaughn pushes down on the device, showing it to be a remote control of some sort. At the same moment, ALIAS suddenly stiffens up, shaking, as the Universal Title is suddenly shooting off some sparks!!

HHL: What the hell??

PIP: Oh, damn, the belt was rigged!!!

Vaughn laughs as ALIAS falls to his knees, dropping the title on the ground. We can now see that there’s some sort of battery connection hidden behind the belt, allowing Vaughn to wire in a surprise taser charge! Vaughn presses the button again, seemingly stopping the charge, as he turns and smirks back at Page.

PIP: So Vaughn knew that ALIAS would grab the title once again when he appeared, so Vaughn planned ahead!

HHL: I may not like him, but Vaughn’s still proving to be a master strategist!

Page shares a grin with his client, but his face slowly drops as he looks over Vaughn’s shoulder. Vaughn, seeing this, turns back to ALIAS… who’s raising back to his feet!! The crowd cheers again as ALIAS shakes his wrists out, then again faces Vaughn, who is trying to fight off his disbelief.

HHL: I think Vaughn thought that would incapacitate ALIAS longer…

PIP: Nobody’s found that many ways to keep ALIAS down for very long.

ALIAS is no longer smirking. Instead, he comes forward, going right at Vaughn, landing several strikes to stun the champion! He rears back, going for a short clothesline, but Vaughn manages to duck underneath it… with ALIAS instead going past him and hitting Chris Page!! Page falls into the ropes, stunned, as ALIAS doesn’t look too concerned about his mistake.

HHL: ALIAS hit the Warfare General Manager!

PIP: So what? This isn’t Warfare!

HHL: Still, that could come back to bite him later…

Ignoring the recovering Page, ALIAS turns around… and Vaughn rushes forward, catching ALIAS in the side of the head with the XWF Universal Title!!! ALIAS drops to the side, as Vaughn shakes his own hands, feeling the wave of impact from the strike. He grabs at Page, helping him up, before looking back at ALIAS… who is starting to get back up from where he fell! This is a step too far for Vaughn, who pushes Page out through the ropes and drops down next to him, leaving ALIAS in the ring.

HHL: I think Vaughn’s going to need to go back to the drawing board.

PIP: Do people even use those anymore?

HHL: Drawing boards? Probably, there are still plenty of people who draw.

PIP: Well, at any rate, Vaughn scored some shots, but ALIAS is still standing and looking just as unstoppable as before!

HHL: Vaughn’s still got the champion’s advantage, though, and he’ll need to find a way to make it work for him at March Madness!

Vaughn and Page move away from the ring, with Vaughn looking completely shocked that ALIAS was able to shrug off the title shot. ALIAS, for his part, appears to have a partial cut from where he was hit, but he’s ignoring the blood slowly welling up and dripping down the side of his face, instead staying focused on Vaughn’s departure. We slowly fade out to a break.

---

The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad.

As Warlord blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Bobby Bourbon. He stops, surveys the whole of the arena, raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Bobby climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops. The XWF Universe in attendance, becoming hooligans, all chant in unison.

*FUCK 'EM UP, BOBBY, FUCK 'EM UP!*





As the music kicks up, The Calvary can be spotted in the corner of the arena with his chest puffed out. He flies down to the ring before slowly descending onto a turnbuckle where he gives out a mighty bellow. He pounds his chest before stepping down into the ring and cracking his knuckles.

BOBBY BOURBON - vs - CALVARY STANDARD MATCH - SAVAGE RULES

The bell rings and Calvary sizes up the massive Bobby Bourbon. Bobby looks at him like he is crazy, knowing how much stronger he is. But the smaller challenger doesn't back down. Bobby shrugs, chuckles a bit, then locks up. He, as expected, gets the upper hand on Calvary rather quickly, pushing him back into the ropes and bending him backwards over them. He puts his big paw on the upper chest of Calvary and then brings it back for a hard slap across the chest. The crowd OOOOH's with his, and with the second. Bobby continues to manhandle the smaller man, tossing him by the neck out to the middle of the ring. Calvary pops up, however, and gets into a fighting stance. Bobby smirks. He puts his dukes up as well.

Bobby swings, Calvary ducks, and loops in behind, shoving Bobby sternum first into the ropes. He uses the momentum of Bobby bouncing off the ropes to grab him around the waist and lift him for a suplex.

He connects as the ring shakes.

Bobby pops up quickly, however, and runs into a knee to the face off the ropes by Calvary. He goes for a quick cover, but Robbie pops up at 1.

Calvary locks Robby in a side head lock as Bobby tries to get up to one knee.

Heather: So what does Calvary have to do here to knock off the monster Bobby Bourbon and advance?

Pip: He has to take the center of gravity away, try to keep Bourbon off his feet. He can win this match if he takes the legs away. It's the power center.

As Pip says this, Bobby lifts Calavry up, dropping him for an atomic drop over his knee. As Calvary limps off, Bobbie hits a short armed standing clothesline to take him down. Picking Calvary up by the head, he tosses him into the corner.

Pip: Did you ask me that because I am short?

Heather: I asked you that because you're an analyst and its your job.

Bobby charges, connecting on a splash on Calvary. He stays on the offensive, however, as he begins to throw forearms to the face and chest of Calvary. The heroic one doesn't back down, however, and begins to fight out of it with a flury of punches. He is actually able to back Bobby out of the corner with these, and the two end up in the middle of the the ring. Bourbon stops the momentum, however, with a viscious head butt that puts Calvary on his back.

Bourbon, clearly a little phased by the punches, takes a second to get his bearings, and Calvary takes advantage, kicking him in the lower leg, under the knee. Bobby reaches down to grab his shin, and Calvary grabs his neck, pulling him into a small package pin.

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Bobby pops out of it! He rolls over into a sitting position, looking surprised.

Calvary is in a fighting stance, again, with his fists up. The crowd roars. Bobby gets to his feet and the two circle. Bourbon circles again with Calvary, and again gets the upper hand tossing him into the corner. Bobby elbows Calvary in the head in mauling fashion. Then a knee to the mid section, then another elbow to the temple. He whips him into the other corner.

Calvary stumbles out of the corner. Bobby sizes him up.

SHORYUKEN!!! The huge roundhouse kick!

Pip: Nighty night. Thanks for coming.

Bobby drops down for the full body cover.


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3--CALVARY GETS A SHOULDER UP!

Heather: It's not over! Calvary isn't dead yet!

Pip: Nobody kicks out of that! God don't you love March! The madness is real!

Bobby, irritated now. Picks Calvary up by the head and scoop slams him back to the mat. Coming off the ropes he goes for a leg drop across the chest.

Calvary moves, Bobby crashes and burns!

The crowd roars again as Calvary crawls to the ropes, grabbing them to lift himself up.

Bobby is back up, holding his glutes. He rushes Calvary, who ducks, pulling the middle rope down and sending the big man tumbling through to the mat outside. Calvary slides out of the ring, grabbing Bobby by the head and running him into the ring steps back first. The top step crashes down to the floor and Bobby winces. Calvary knows he has to stay on the attack. He picks Bobby up and uses his legs to drive him back first into the ring post. This doesn't take Bobby off his feet, and instead he stumbles back towards ramp and rolls into the ring to break the count. Calvary follows him in and as Bobby goes to get up, he chop blocks the leg.

Bobby goes down to one knee and Calvary comes off the ropes with a running knee to the face. He goes to the corner to size up Bobby, signaling for a spear. Bobby gets up slow and Calvary charges, going for the spear. Bobby side steps, and is able to use the momentum of Calvary to propel him shoulder first into the turnbuckle. He crashes with a thud. The crowd OOOH's again. Calvary stumbles back out, holding his shoulder and Bobby grabs him, dropping him with a Samoan drop. Bobby is limping noticably now and wincing. He may have injured that knee.

Calvary is stirring, and Bobby picks him up, going for the Flatiron, Torture Rack lift Samoan Drop. He gets him up by Calvary slides off, shoving Bobby. When he turns around he fires a heavy shot off, knocking him back, and comes off the ropes for a clothesline but Bobby recovers, taking him off his feet with a shoulder block from hell.

Bobby picks up Calvary and clubs him over the head. Calvary goes to one knee. Bobby connects on a Double Underhook Suplex. He drags Calvary to the corner. He is about to flatten him with the Corner Avalanche Splash! Bobby climbs to the middle rope, beating his chest like a gorilla. He jumps, going for the splash.

Calvary gets the knees up! Bourbon rolls over holding his sternum!

Pip: Calvary refuses to die here! The fighting spirit is unbelievable!

Calvary gets up, he is pumped up now.

He flies off the ropes as Bobby slowy stands up.

The Crusade!!!!!!!

Superman Punch!

But it only staggers Bobby, who falls back against the ropes!

Calvary looks at the top rope as the crowd roars.

He climbs to the top.

Bobby stumbles to the center of the ring.

THE CRUSADE OFF THE TOP!!!!!!

SUPERMAN PUNCH OFF THE TOP ROPE!

BOURBON IS DOWN!!!!

Pip: It's over! Pin him! Pin him now damnit! Calvary is going to pull the biggest upset of the tournament right here!

Heather: I think he wants to put the exclamation point on this, Pip!

He climbs back to the top rope.

He goes for the Splash from the Top.....

Flying through the air........

HE LANDS ON BOURBON BUT BOBBY CATCHES HIM!!!!!!!!!

HE CAUGHT HIM WHILE LAYING DOWN!

Bobby stands up, holding Calvary!!!!

BOBBY-BOMB IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!!!!!!!!!

Pip: How's that for an exclamation point! That is why you need to listen to me!

Bobby hooks the leg

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3!!!!!!!

WINNER via PINFALL and ADVANCING IN THE MARCH MADNESS TOURNAMENT - BOBBY BOURBON

PIP: "And, just like that, Bobby Bourbon advances!"

HHL: "What a night it's been, thank you all for watching! Tune in this Wednesday for Warfare which will lead us straight to March 27th for MARCH MADNESS!!! DON'T MISS IT!!!"

Special Thanks To: The match writers and roleplayers.