LIVE!!! FROM THE SCHOTTENSTEIN CENTER IN COLUMBUS, OHIO! THE BUCKEYE NUTHOUSE! Jackson Hart - vs - John Caedus - vs - Elijah Martin Three Way Dance! Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif Bianca McBride - vs - Sonya Benson Referee: Chaz Bobo Terry Borden - vs - Latina Submission Machina Referee: MARTY "The God of Death" Giovanni DeSantis - vs - HGH X-Treme rules! Referee: Virginia Hymen THUGS (John Black & Tommy Wish) - vs - Ruby & Calypso Referee: John X THE NEW CHAMP AND THE NEW COMMISH! ANARCHY COMMISSIONER DOLLY WATERS SPEAKS WITH BIG MONEY OSWALD ABOUT THE FUTURE OF ANARCHY! Lord Raab - vs - Miss Fury If Fury loses for ANY reason - BOB has to disband and forfeit their titles! Referee: Mr. Referee

The return of REGULAR ANARCHY means the return of NUCLEAR PYRO!!!!!


Explosions rock the arena as flaming rockets criss cross through the air, along with a dazzling laser light show! Music thumps and fire leaps up to insane heights!


The cameras pan around the rabid Ohio crowd until they find the one and only "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane, finally back where he belongs behind the Anarchy announce booth.


Vinnie Lane: "Ladies and germs, it is SO good to be back here tonight! You have no idea how much I missed this!"


The crowd roars with approval as the smoke from the amazing show of pyrotechnic ammunition settles.


Vinnie Lane: "We've got a great one here tonight, folks. HGH versus God of Death! Ruby and Calypso in tag team action against the THUGS! Terry Borden taking on the Latina Submission Machina! And of course our HUGE main event where Miss Fury takes on Lord Raab with the future of BOB at stake! All that and our BRAND NEW Anarchy Commissioner Dolly Waters has a word with the Anarchy Champion Big Money Oswald right here TONIGHT! But before that, an awesome triple threat to get things going... let's take it to the ring!"

Jackson Hart - vs - John Caedus - vs - Elijah Martin Three Way Dance! Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif

"Run It" by DJ Snake hits the airwaves and Jackson Hart comes out from behind the curtain to the cheer of the crowd. Jax spends a few seconds at the top of the stage going from side to side playing to the adoring crowd before slowly walking down the entry ramp, slapping as many hands as he can. Once Jax finally hits the ring he rolls under the bottom rope and again plays to the crowd before taking up residence in one of the ring corners as he awaits the starting bell.

Darkness washes throughout the arena and "End of Line" by Daft Punk begins to play. In sync with the beat, spotlights flash on and off with silver filtered illumination; John Caedus steps from behind the curtain and makes his way to the ring with purpose and murderous intent, ignoring the fans completely. Stepping up onto the apron, he swings a leg over the top rope and enters the ring.

The lights on the entrance way go dark as "Blueprint 2" by Jay-Z begins... as the song reaches the 21-second mark and the beat drops, an explosion is heard and the stage lighting comes back up, revealing Elijah Martin standing at the top of the entrance way. After about ten seconds of standing still to take in the crowd in the arena, Martin casually makes his way to the ring, yelling some random things at the crowd on the way.

He walks around to the hard cam side of the ring and hops onto the apron towards the end of the first verse of the song. When the song transitions into the chorus with the beat drop at the 1:25 mark, Martin raises both arms in the air and yells "I'M THE KING, MOTHAFUCKAS!" After a couple of seconds taking in the mix of cheers and boos, Martin steps into the ring and just paces around a couple of times before stopping at his corner and taking an ass bump to sit against the bottom turnbuckle.

As the bell rung, all three men look at one another, as each of them circle around one another, John and Jackson then decide to team up on Elijah, as they start throwing punches at him at a time. As Elijah tried to react, John elbows him on his back, then John grabs his wrist and wrenches it, as Jackson goes to the top rope and hits a diving axe handle on to Elijah’s arm that’s being wrenched. Then Jackson stomps on Elijah on the mat, then Jackson instructs John to pick up Elijah, and they double Irish Whip him and lands a double Elbow to the face that laid him out.

John then tries to go for an armbar on Elijah, but Jackson quickly breaks it up. Jackson then goes for a headlock on John, but John manages to quickly hit a Back Suplex on Jackson. Then John strangles Jackson, as HoloRef started counting to four, John let’s go of the strangle hold and he sees Elijah getting on his feet. John then grabs him back the head, and tries to slam it on the corner, but Elijah elbow’s him in the gut and he turned his back on the corner and goes for the ten count punches..

1 Punch..

2 Punch..

Thr—John them catches him and goes for a stiff Powerbomb and he does go for the cover, as he taunts menacingly to the crowd.


Vinnie Lane: This opener is pretty wild, for the first half I thought Elijah had the fighting chance, but at last he couldn’t handle Jackson and John at the same time.


Jackson then hits John with a Dropkick that beamed him on the ropes, and he then Whips him off and connects with a another Dropkick. John got up and eats another Dropkick, then he rolled out of the ring and slammed his hands on the apron out of anger. Jackson then taunts him back into the ring, but Elijah hits a Forearm to Jackson’s back, and he then hits a Belly To Back onto Jackson, and he then tries to lock in a Single Leg, but Elijah gets booted by John.

HoloRef blows her whistle at John, who shoves her to the side. She then blow’s her whistle again, and he shoves her again. As they briefly go at it, Elijah then pulls a chain out of his left boot and wraps it around his fist, and manages to clock John in the head with it, and tosses it out of the ring and covers him.

1..

TW—KICKOUT


Vinnie Lane: That was a close one folks, Elijah almost had the win with his underhanded tactics. As you may all know by now, he’s from the streets… y’all dig it?


HoloRef sees the chain out of the ring, and she uses her magnetic powers to hold it in her hand and confronted Elijah about it. As they were arguing, Jackson then lifted up John and he goes for a series of Kicks onto John, that culminated into a Enzuigiri. Jackson then tries to go for a Calf Killer on John, but Elijah kicks Jackson in the head to break it up.

Jackson then gets on his feet, and then confronts Elijah over it. Then both men started to shoot punch that caused Halo Ref to blow her whistle, even to the point she tried to break it up. Then John uses the chain that was on the mat to hit both men over the head with it. Halo Ref just had enough, so she just stood back as John tossed out Jackson out of the ring, while chocking Elijah with the chain.


Vinnie Lane: This has gone off the rails dudes and dudettes, first we see Elijah and Jackson scrapping for realses to John blasting these fools with a chain, to John choking the life out of Elijah… this can’t get any crazier than it is.


As John was choking him with the chain, Elijah slowly got on his feet, and he hits a Mule Kick on John break the hold, then we see Jackson at the apron, all fired up. He then gets on the springboard and hits both men with a Double Dropkick, which caused John to roll out of the ring. Elijah quickly gets on his feet, and he tries to punch Jackson but ducks and hits a punch of his own onto Elijah. He hits him some more with flurry of kicks, and he Whips him to the ropes and hits a Cleanest Frankensteiner on to Elijah and pins him..

1..

2..

THRE—JOHN BREAKS THE COUNT

John then grabs Jackson by his head, but he manages to give him a Jawbreaker, and transition it with a Swinging Neckbreaker. Then he runs to the ropes, and hits a Lionsault on John, and he taunts to the crowd. Then he goes to the top rope, and he goes for a 630 Splash but John moved out the way. John then deadlifts Jackson into a stiff looking Release Snap Suplex onto Jackson, then beamed his eyes on Elijah.

He kicked Elijah in the gut, and goes for a delayed Brainbuster and slams him after ten minutes of stalling. He then strangles Elijah, as his eyes widen on the hard cam as HoloRef counted to three he breaks it up. Then he lifts Elijah on his feet, and places him in the powerbomb position he then points to the corner.


Vinnie Lane: Uh oh, it looked like John is out here to end Elijah’s career before it even gotten started.


Before John could do anything, Jackson comes out of nowhere with the HART BREAKER on John that knocked him out, and he sees the downed Elijah, and pick him up by his feet and he goes to the apron and he hits the ON TILT on Elijah. Jackson isn’t done, as Elijah slowly got back onto his feet…

Jackson creeps up behind him….


HE HITS THE ROYAL FLUSH ON ELIJAH!!!


Vinnie Lane:Will this newcomer be the one to secure the win at this moment?


1!


















2!!



Wait! John Caedus rolls Hart up from behind!




1!


























2!!





























Elijah tries to break it up, but he’s too late!

3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - John Caedus

We go to the exterior of the arena where we have reports of a disturbance taking place in the street. There's a vehicle holding Dolly Waters and he team that's been swarmed with 30 or so hobos armed with sticks. It's like a scene from a zombie horror movie. One of the hobos has his genitals pressed against the window that Dolly is seated next to. The commotion with the Commish in Columbus calms down as an average built man rolls up to the window in a shopping cart that's being pushed by his beautiful, homeless girlfriend. Dolly rolls down her window to confront the man who we know as Jack Inthebox.

Jack Inthebox: "Let me take it from here, fellas!"

Dolly Waters: "Dude, I have a meeting to go to. Can you and your drifters move it along? Here..."

Dolly fetches a a crisp $100 bill out of her purse and offers it to Jack who doesn't hesitate to snatch it up.

Jack Inthebox: "Sure, we'll let you pass this time, princess. However, next time I expect to see more cash and more promises."

Dolly Waters: "Jack, you just started working here. I've already helped you a lot this early in the game."

Jack Inthebox: "You can help a little more by delivering a message for me. You need to tell the Big Money Man know that we're coming for his titles and his money! Like we discussed in our negotiations, I'm not just here for a paycheck, I'm here to eat the rich.

Jack sneaks in a kiss on Dolly's cheek before his bum-tourage escorts him back to the bridge.

Bianca McBride - vs - Sonya Benson Referee: Chaz Bobo

The crowd jeers the hateful anti pro wrestling activist turned pro wrestler against her will. Sonya Benson emerges atop the ramp flanked on her immediate right by her manager Norris as her bodyguard Smith tails behind the pair. Sonya makes a speedy trek down to the ring because she does not want to freaking be here. As she walks to the ring, she looks out at the crowd and points several times. Smith reaches into the stands to tear apart a number of signs that say “VIOLENCE TO THE EXTREME”, “SEX AND VIOLENCE” and “FUCK CENSORSHIP”. Under Norris’ arm, you can see a golden plaque, engraved with the words “#39. Michael McBride”.

Once they get inside the ring, she moves to her corner where she paces nervously. Smith stands in front of her while Norris gives her some encouraging peptalk.


Vinnie Lane: "Bodacious! Our next match is the debut of totally bogus anti-wrestling activist, Sonya Benson! She hasn’t chilled much in the ring, but she did hire Thad Duke and Marf as wrestling coaches… Checking my Casio watch… Five days ago. So, this should be a tough first test!"

The lights fade to black. A burst of spotlights at the top of the ramp as Bianca McBride emerges out of the curtain. She stomps furiously to the ring, staring at Sonya and her entourage with a fiery fury.


Vinnie Lane: "Whoa! Someone has a major ‘tude headed to the ring. And that someone is third-generation wrestling superstar, Bianca McBride!"


McBride stomps up the steps and through the ropes. She charges the corner, Benson’s security guard tries to maintain distance between McBride and her client.

BAM! Bianca lays him out with a haymaker! He rolls out of the ring.


Vinnie Lane: "Ouchies, dude! Sonya might be second-guessing her pre-match strategy of pissing off McBride, going to the XWF Hall of Fame and stealing Michael McBride’s Top 50 plaque. Ah well, C’est La Vie, chica!"


Sonya grabs Norris by the collar and forces him in front of her like a shield. Then, she desperately holds the plaque outside the ropes and over the padding outside. She shakes it, to make it clear she’s not afraid to drop it.

Bianca stops in the center of the ring… focused on the plaque.

Our official, Chaz Bobo, steps forward. He directs Norris out. Norris tips his hat, gives Sonya one more piece of advice, then steps under the middle rope and to the outside of the ring.

Sonya still allows the Top 50 Plaque to hang in the grip over the ropes. Bianca remains laser-focused.

Bobo signals to the timekeeper and the bell rings!

DING! DING! DING!!!

Sonya tries to gain immediate control by directing Bianca to the floor with a point of her finger.

McBride scoffs… until Sonya lifts the plaque over the head, winding it up (albeit in an unathletic fashion) to heave it into the audience.

McBride puts her hands in the air to get Sonya to relax…

Then, she takes a knee… Leans onto her back… And finally, lies down in the center of the ring.

Sonya allows a relieved smile to cross her face as the crowd rains boos down on her.


Vinnie Lane: "Ugh, lame city! McBride is following Sonya’s directions to keep her from breaking the plaque! This whole sitch is majorly grody. Why didn’t I put a lock on the XWF Hall of Fame exhibits? Like, Duh!"


McBride remains prone in the center of the ring as the arena fills with boos. Sonya looks down at Norris who is clapping excitedly, before pointing at McBride, yelling “PIN HER”!

Sonya walks forward and puts a single foot on McBride’s chest, still holding the plaque. Chaz Bobo drops to count...





1!














2!!




At the last moment, McBride grabs Benson’s ankle and rolls over, wrenches her to the ground with a toe hold! Benson, not exactly an athlete, clumsily collapses to the mat… And drops the plaque!


Vinnie Lane: "Oh no, Dude!"


The plaque bounces off the mat, skids out the ring and lands out on the mat with a loud thud.

Bobo sprints over to the ropes and checks outside. McBride, with panic in her face, looks to Bobo. Bobo turns back…

And shakes his head. The plaque has a huge dent in it!


Vinnie Lane: "Daaaaaaaaang! That’ll cost coinage to repair. Wonder who’s footing that bill."


McBride spins furiously on Benson, who is holding her hands up defensively, backing up terrified to her corner.

McBride dives on top of her in the corner, smashing her forearm onto the top of Benson’s head again and again!

Benson is currently pressed against the ropes, so Bobo moves to separate the two… As he backs McBride up to the center, Norris grabs Benson by the arm and helps her roll out of the ring.

Bobo, rapidly losing control of this situation, runs to the ropes to reprimand Norris, who is escorting Benson back to the ramp.

McBride rolls out of the ring and stands at the base of the ramp to prevent their escape! Norris sees that and shakes his head no... he spins and leads Benson the opposite direction, toward the announce table.


Vinnie Lane: "Chaz! She’s trying to motor! We need hecka officials out here to get back control of this biz."


Chaz steps out of the ring and in front of the announce table to stop Norris and Benson. He starts counting Benson out…

All of a sudden, Benson seizes and drops in front of the announce table. Bobo is perplexed. After a moment, Benson points helplessly at her ankle, claiming she’s twisted it. Bobo, who is trained in first aid, tries to take a closer look.

On the other side of the ring, McBride steps back onto the apron and through the ropes…

What’s this… Norris has circled around the ring to meet McBride! He holds up his hands defensively as he approaches. She looks down on him with venom.

Norris gestures for her to join him on the floor. She hops down.

Norris slips both hands into his pockets. From his left… he retrieves a wad of bills. He holds it out. Is he… Is he trying to bribe her to split and lose by count-out?

Bianca McBride laughs in his face and smacks the bills out of his hand… WHAT’S THIS?

In his right hand, he drives a TASER INTO MCBRIDE’S NECK!

McBride vibrates in pain as 50 THOUSAND VOLTS TRAVEL THROUGH HER SYSTEM... !

She spasms…. She shakes…

Oh my God...

Oh my God! She’s still standing! Bianca McBride is one tough son of a bitch!

Benson sees all of this from the other side of the ring, eyes wide, and pulls Bobo, who is checking her ankle for swelling, in front of her like a human shield.

McBride grabs Norris by the top of his head. He helplessly paws to escape her grip.

She delivers a series of lock-up knee strikes straight to his gut! Each one knocks the air out of him as this fat old man slowly deflates like a beachball…

He drops to one knee and McBride climbs back onto the apron…

WOW! Norris clasps McBride’s ankle! He’s taken a licking and he keeps ticking!

McBride slowly turns back to Norris.

BAM! Norris catches her with… a foreign object?... NO! It’s her father’s dinged up #39 Gold plaque! McBride is split wide open and bleeding down her skull… and the plaque isn’t in great shape either! She backs up through the ring ropes, tangled in them but back in the ring!

All of a sudden, Benson stands up and steps around Bobo, who has just determined her ankle is fine, to quickly climb the steps and re-enter the ring.

Bianca is still standing, blinking vacuously, her arm tangled in the ropes… Is she unconscious and held up by the ropes or is she still awake and in this match?!?

Sonya, very cautiously, stands in front of McBride, waving a hand in front of her eyes…

No recognition.

Benson gets excited. She circles around to McBride’s back and takes a deep breath. Benson bends her knees! And JUMPS!

Standing dropkick!

...

Unfortunately, she doesn’t quite kick her legs out right and it ends up looking… Well, like this.

Vinnie Lane: "...Stick to it, chica! Rome wasn’t drop kicked in a day!"


Regardless, she does barely connect with... the back of McBride’s thigh. Which pushes McBride up against the ropes face-first. McBride rebounds back against the ropes and lands flat on her back onto the mat!

Benson clumsily crawls into the cover!



1!












2!!






















3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Sonya Benson

Chaz Bobo raises Sonya’s arm in the air!

All of a sudden, McBride begins to stir herself back to consciousness! In a moment though, Sonya is coaxed out of the ring by Norris, visibly struggling to breathe after those knee strikes, but excitedly patting her on the shoulder with encouragement… And Smith, who has returned to consciousness himself and is rubbing a growing welt on his noggin from that Bianca McBride punch.

Just before she leaves back up the ramp, Benson stops… And retrieves the McBride plaque.


Vinnie Lane: "Oh no! Sonya’s keeping it even after beating Bianca? Most un-triumphant, she-dude. Well, even if you don’t like her, she won! One down, 24 to go for Sonya Benson!"


Benson raises the plaque in triumph as both members of her entourage clap to celebrate her victory. The audience rains down jeers and boos. McBride crawls to the bottom rope, seething furiously, blood still running down her forehead, as we cut to commercial.

Terry Borden - vs - Latina Submission Machina Referee: MARTY

Vinnie Lane: "Alright, dudes! Up next is what should be another entertaining matchup as Terry- - wait, I’m being told- -"

Lane puts a finger up to his ear piece, looking off as he’s listening to someone explain a situation.

Vinnie Lane: "OH! We need to take you backstage, right away!"

Live footage begins rolling on the tron as a camera man is rushing towards some commotion.

“YOU CAN’T CHANGE THE RULES OF OZZY’S BELT SISTER!”

“¡Es mi cinturón ahora estúpido!”

Terry Borden is cornering the Billion Dollar Champion, Latina Submission Machina backstage.

“SPEAK AMERICAMANIAN, DUDE!” he shouts pointing a finger in LSM’s face.

“¡Hazme!”

LSM slings the belt from her shoulder and lunges at Terry, who lunges right back. The two start exchanging fists and brawling amongst the backstage area. Terry gets pushed over a catering table, his head plowing right through a glass bowl of pimento cheese. LSM leaps over the table after him, but the writhing Terry sticks his leg in the air, and not on purpose either. LSM lands face first on his boot and falls over. The two both try scrambling to their knees to start pummeling one another.

But before they can go any further, security intervene, pulling the two away from one another. Once they’re successfully separated, the broadcast cuts back over to Vinnie Lane.

Vinnie Lane: "Okay, well, sorry everyone at home. We're going to move on to our next match. LSM? Terry Borden? Try waiting until the bell rings next time."

NO CONTEST

Oh!
My disposition is in a position for all to see
Regretless of how it feels
I got a bullet with a name on it
Bullet with a name
'Cause the cause for the pause you think you see
Is really concentration of the steel
I got a bullet with a name on it
Bullet with a name


The Ohio crowd goes buckeye-wild as the theme music of a local wrestling legend blares through the PA system. All the overhead lights in the arena go dark as a red fog pumps across the stage and entrance ramp. Dim lights from the floor flicker on as the rolling fog starts to build. A shadowy figure appears on the entrance ramp, hunched and obscured by the seething red.


You see everybody's watching and
Passing judgment on
Every little move and decision I make


Vinnie Lane: "OH MY GOD, IS THAT CHARLIE NICKLES? He hasn’t been seen on XWF programming since War Games! The rumor is that he was hospitalized shortly after his pay-per-view match….I think he’s here to clear the air!"


Charlie rolls forward as his music continues to play. As Charlie passes through the red smog it starts to dissipate. The lights overhead turn red and begin to flash down on the ramp giving us a clearer view of himself. The camera zooms in on Charlie Nickles as he comes down the entrance ramp on Anarchy. Charlie’s rolling down the ramp in a wheelchair while wearing a hospital gown. There is a large bandage wrapped around the side of his head. His left hand is holding a microphone in his lap while his right hand moves on and off the wheel of the chair.


And everything that they say about me
And everything that they make me need
Are nothing when they're taking everything away from me
And everyone, trying to make it harder
And everyone saying I would never be
Are nothing but a name, on the bullet I aim
On the bullet that I aim
On the bullet that I aim!

“CUT THE FUCKING MUSIC, CUT THE FUCKING MUSIC! THOSE WORDS ARE HITTING TOO CLOSE TO HOME!”

The roaring crowd quiets down some as the lights go back to normal and the music cuts off. Still, some cheers can be heard throughout the arena. Charlie looks up at the ring from his wheelchair. He then looks over to the steel stairs- then he looks back to the ring. But this time he’s not looking at the ring itself, instead, his gaze is between the ropes. Charlie is staring daggers at Vinnie Lane from the opposite side of the ringside area.

“No fucking ramp, of course……..NO ACCOMMODATIONS CAN EVER BE MADE FOR CHARLIE NICKLES! YOU HAVE NEVER ONCE MADE AN ACCOMMODATION, WHY SHOULD I EXPECT YOU TO START BEING A DECENT MAN NOW!”


Vinnie Lane: "Hey dude, that’s so unfair! You didn’t even tell me you were coming to the show, let alone that you need a ramp!"


“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSES!”

The crowd roars back to life as Charlie Nickles shouts down the bossman. Charlie turns his neck around in his chair. He looks out to the audience with absolute contempt etched into his facial features.

“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS EITHER!”

The crowd noise tapers out as the Nickleman begins to unload his ire onto the fans from his wheelchair.

“I have performed in Columbus DOZENS of times through the years! It was a huge stop on the local circuit, I’ve wrestled incredible matches and lost gallons of blood in front of you Columbus cunts- but you never cheered for me then! I fought Raucous Randy Robinson, I fought Ikiro Higamati, I even fought Bloff McFlofferscofferson here in Columbus, Ohio!”

The crowd roars back to life as Charlie runs through his greatest local-hits, which were all losses.

“BUT YOU DIDN'T CHEER FOR ME THEN! SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CHEERING FOR ME NOW?!

I don’t want your fake praise, I don’t want you to wish me well! You are all nothing but liars. Nothing but snakes in the grass, crabs in the pubes of the XWF!

I debuted in this god-forsaken company just over a year ago. Just over a year ago. I came out to the ring, but where were the cheers then?! You didn’t care about me then, so don’t you dare pretend to care about me now!

What’s changed in the past year? What makes you filthy rodents scream and howl in joy? Why does my very presence entice you mindless zombies to roar together like one filthy beast?

I don’t think anything has changed from one year ago. My ex-wife is still a bitch. My children are still squealing bastards that need to be in my custody to receive a proper and discipline upbringing. I’m still the family man I’ve always been.

But what do YOU idiots think has changed? Why does the name Charlie Nickles now ring through your brain like a tornado siren?

Was it the 9 championship belts I won in my first year? Was it my main-event matchup at Relentless? Was it my record setting run with the Television title? Was it my absolute buttfucking of Thunder Nutless at every opportunity?

I can see why someone wanted to take me out. I can see why someone was threatened by me, why someone tried to take my life…..”

The crowd goes silent as Charlie Nickles looks down at the ground in dejection. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the shell of a fired munition. The camera zooms in on the bullet casing. The name ‘Charles’ has been etched into the metal. The camera zooms back out as Charlie begins speaking.

“When I arrived home after War Games, someone was waiting for me. Hiding in the shadows like a rotten fucking roach. They waited for me to be off guard before they took their cowardly shot. They probably thought they got me, that they ended it all. They thought they had taken me out…...BUT THEY WERE DEAD FUCKING WRONG.

And soon…..

THEY WILL JUST BE DEAD.

I’m going to find the pussyhole that tried to give me the ol’ Abe Lincoln. Then, I'M GOING TO MAKE A PUSSYHOLE INSIDE OF THEIR HEAD AND FUCK IT WITH A TIRE IRON!”


Vinnie Lane: "Jesus…"


“Whoever did this…..you can try to run, you can try to hide…..but just know: I’m going to make you my new little Sarah at this year’s Relentless.

I’m going to be hunting down everyone who may know something about who did this to me. To the pisslickers and cuntscratchers backstage, be prepared to counter my questions. When I roll up on you, you’d better have the answers I want.

And to anyone who tries and stop my quest for justice….your head can be turned into a tire iron pussyhole, too!”

Charlie Nickles throws the microphone down on the ground causing a loud audio distortion to ring out through the arena. The crowd cringes as Charlie Nickles furiously rolls himself up the the entrance ramp and out of the scene.


Vinnie Lane: "I'm not sure Charlie's okay..."

"The God of Death" Giovanni DeSantis - vs - HGH X-Treme rules! Referee: Virginia Hymen

‘Eve of the End’ by August Burns Red hits the speakers as the lights strobe and spotlights swirl around the arena. A thick fog fills the stage area as a large figure takes shape just beyond it, pushing through until Harmon Greyson Hays emerges with a cocky smirk on his face. He strolls down the ramp, ignoring the outstretched hands of his fans. He climbs up onto the apron, entering the ring and raising both fists in the air, basking in the pop from the crowd.

The din slowly quiets as the music fades, the lights going out completely. ‘Five Finger Crawl’ by Danzig starts up as the crowd goes wild once more. The lights flicker, a red beam appearing aimed at the stage as Giovanni DeSantis slowly steps out from the back, pausing for a moment as his eyes take in the sea of people. He brings his gaze to the ring as he strides down the ramp, sliding under the bottom rope with little fanfare, pacing back and forth as he regards HGH.

The lights return to normal as Virginia Hymen motions for the match to start.

DING! DING! DING!

Vinnie Lane: "Here we go, rockin’ and rollin’ into an Xtreme rules match!"


The two meet in the middle and lock up, HGH quickly gaining the upper hand thank to his size, whipping GoD into the ropes. GoD hits and comes back, ducking a clothesline, bouncing off the other side and returning with an elbow, staggering HGH. He tries to send HGH into the ropes, but HGH reverses it, and preps for a back body drop. GoD comes back and hits a swinging neck breaker on HGH. He looks to capitalize, grabbing HGH around the head to get him to his feet, but gets an elbow to his gut for his trouble, doubling him over. A hard knee to the face sends him staggering back. The big man is up now, running for a brutal short arm clothesline and GoD hits the mat hard.

HGH poses for the crowd, yelling out, drawing a bunch of mixed cheers and boos. HGH returns to a stirring GoD, picking him up and bringing him to the ropes, where he throws him right out of the ring. He follows, walking after a crawling GoD. A fan hangs over the rail, waving a ‘Yield’ road sign. HGH takes it and stalks after his prey as he starts to get to his feet, until metal meets skull and down he goes again.


Vinnie Lane: "How the hell did that guy even get that in here?!"


HGH lifts the now nicely dented sign, ready to bring it down again but GoD gets a boot up to block it, sending it careening into HGH’s face. He drops back, hands going to his face as GoD scrambles to his feet, trying to shake the cobwebs from the shot to the head off.

HGH charges but GoD dives out of the way and he hits the guardrail hard, tumbling over it to hit the floor. Fans are nearly rabid as GoD takes advantage, showing off some agility as he hops atop the rail, dropping a heavy knee down onto HGHs spine. He starts lacing into him with hard boots to the head and shoulders. He grabs HGH by the hair, yanking him to a knee, starting to bring him to his feet only to slam a foot into his jaw, sending him topping. He repeats the maneuver, this time going for a strong forearm, but HGH blocks it. They start trading blows.

They begin brawling right up the aisle and the fans are losing their minds. A few try to get shots of their own in.

Security finally arrives, trying to hold back the fans.


Vinnie Lane: "Who is in charge of hiring the security around here?! They suck!"


GoD uses his smaller stature to his advantage in the tighter space, able to duck blows more effectively. He smashes a boot into HGHs knee, once! Twice! Three times! Sending him down, rolling down the stairs back towards the guardrail. GoD swiftly follows, grabbing him up and sending him hurtling over the rain and back into the ring area. He leaps over himself, walking by a writhing HGH and over to lift the apron, pulling a barbed wire wrapped bat out from underneath. With a grin he charges HGH, who is up to his knees, swinging the bat hard into his gut. HGH yells as the sharp wire rips at his skin. GoD pulls it free, lifting it up and repeatedly smacking him over the back with it until the blood flows freely and HGH is down again. He tosses it aside, looking pleased with himself.

He urges the other man up enough to toss him under the bottom rope. HGH rolls away, smearing the mat with crimson. GoD follows quickly, rolling him over and going for the pin. Hymen swiftly slides in.



1!















2!!




















KICKOUT!



GoD eyes Virginia as she holds up two fingers.

He goes to assist HGH up, but he grabs him instead. GoD goes for an armdrag takedown, but HGH blocks it. HGH takes a swing at GoD, who ducks, but comes up in time to eat a spinning heel kick, and down he goes. He kips up quickly and comes for HGH who nails him with a drop kick, and he is taken off his feet once more, rolling towards the ropes and dropping out of the ring. HGH follows, laying him down with a forearm smash as GoD was using the apron to pull himself up.

He grabs the other man and sends him careening into the steps with a sickening crash. He follows up quickly, lifting the steps high in the air and bringing them down hard on the back and shoulder of GoD until the other man is lying still. He lifts an arm, playing to the crowd who boos. Something sails through the air and smacks HGH in the chest, he catches it before it can fall, lifting it away to reveal a partially eaten hot dog. He looks down at the smear of mustard on his body and curls his lip, heaving the food back out into the crowd, which prompts a slew of garbage and various other debris to come flying. HGH bats them harmlessly out of the air, but catches one that nearly beans him in the side of the head, looking at it incredulously.


Vinnie Lane: "Is that... a full can of beer?"


It is!


Vinnie Lane: "Dude, that’s like fifteen bucks thanks to Theo’s pricing! What a waste of..."


With a grin HGH cracks it open and tilts his head back, Stone Cold style.


Vinnie Lane: "Well alright then."


Except all this has given GoD time to recover and snag a chair. He swings, and sends the beer careening through the air, hitting the floor and bouncing, sending the liquid splashing everywhere, nearly hitting the announce table.


Vinnie Lane: "Whoa! Hey man, watch the threads!"


HGH watches it go, then swings his head back towards GoD.


Vinnie Lane: "Uh oh..."


GoD raises the chair and goes to swing, but HGH slams his boot forward, connecting and slamming the chair directly into GoD’s face! He stumbles backwards, and we have more blood as it spurts from his nose! With a roar HGH charges, spearing his opponent hard to the floor, lacing into him with a series of closed fist punches. GoD tries to cover up his face but HGH switches it up, dropping an elbow into his chest. The moment GoD moves his hands, HGH is back on the offense, alternating wildly until the resistance fades away. He gets up, going to grab the fallen chair as GoD gets to all fours and starts to crawl away. He is stopped by steel meeting his spine. HGH slams the chair down onto GoDs back again!

And again!





And again!





And again!





And again!

He tosses the mangled seat aside and grabs GoD, performing a snap suplex before approaching and swinging a leg back, allowing the toe of his boot to meet GoD’s ribcage. GoD’s writhes in pain.


Vinnie Lane: "This is brutal!"

Vinnie Lane: "He DID spill the man's beer."

Vinnie Lane: "True... wait, why am I arguing with myself?"

Vinnie Lane: "Who else is awesome enough?"

Vinnie Lane: "…............................. Rad."


HGH yells at the crowd as he walks around outside the ring, inspiring them to throw more trash at him. We cut to the announce table, where Vinnie now has his jacket over his head, trying to avoid the raining garbage. He motions at HGH, shooing him and the torrent of crap away. HGH sneers at him, but turns away.

HGH stalks GoD, who has partially rolled under the ring. He grabs a leg and pulls him back out....











AND GETS BLASTED IN THE FACE WITH THE SPRAY FROM A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!



HGH yells, grabbing his eyes as the chemicals burn. He falls back, allowing a weakened GoD to get to his feet and charge, slamming the extinguisher into his temple. HGH drops like a sack of potatoes. GoD seeks his payback, repeatedly bringing his weapon down on whatever exposed body part of the big man he can, until the fire extinguisher goes to pieces in his hands. He drops the leaking container to the ground and goes to fetch the discarded barbed wire bat from before.

He takes aim and brings it down, reopening the wounds from earlier, and ripping fresh ones in the flesh of HGH’s back. He screams and rolls away, but GoD is relentless, following behind swinging the bat, eyes gleaming with malice. He finally throws it aside and gets the big man to his feet sending him into the side of the ring, boosting him in dripping blood all the way. He hops up, stepping through to enter then crouches, eyes on HGH who is on the far side, using the ropes to slowly try and get to his feet.


Vinnie Lane: "Finally back in the ring, not a lot of time spent in there in this match."


HGH straightens on shaky legs, turning to take one wobbly step forward before being gored almost out of his boots by GoD’s Revulsion!

He grabs ahold of his hair once more, dragging HGH up as he goes to whip him into the corner. HGH has enough presence of mind to try and reverse, but GoD puts on the brakes and reverses that! He shoots HGH into the corner where he slams into an unfortunate Virginia, who hadn't been paying enough attention, since she hadn't had much to do in the match. Even worse, GoD follows behind, leaping up and nailing a beautiful splash, squishing both people into the unforgiving turnbuckle. HGH staggers forward then drops. Virginia slides down, sprawled out on the mat, motionless. GoD gives her a bland look, shrugging his shoulder as he turns his attention back to matters at hand.


Vinnie Lane: "I think Giovanni broke Hymen!"


GoD steps towards HGH, who was starting to get his knees under him. A swift boot to the jaw ends that ambition, sending him rolling on the canvas, leaving a scarlet trail. His own face a gory mask, GoD watches and takes aim, running across the ring to connect with a baseball slide to HGH’s head, sending him flopping out of the ring, back out onto the floor.

Completely in control of the match now, GoD follows, rummaging under the ring to emerge with a metal trash can, complete with lid. He takes the lid and walks towards the fallen HGH, starting to wail on him with it as the other man covers the back of his head, trying to curl up and protect his vitals from the assault. The lid becomes warped and GoD flings it like a frisbee out into the crowd!



A scream!



Pain or happiness at a souvenir?!



Nobody knows!



Or cares!

GoD drags the trash can over, then urges HGH to his knees, plopping the can over his head like a helmet. He rolls the bat once again from where it had landed, conveniently nearby and eyeballs HGH.


Vinnie Lane: "BATTER UP!"




CLANG!



GoD sets HGH’s ears to ringing as he slams the bat against the side of the trashcan, caving it in. HGH lurches to the side, but GoD was ready, giving the other side of the can the same treatment.



CLANG!



HGH falls backwards and lies prone, the dented-up trashcan still covering his head. GoD approaches, pulling it off and dragging a loopy HGH back to the ring, shooting him under the bottom ropes as he lifts the apron up yet again, this time emerging with a small bag.

He slides into the ring, selecting a spot and upturning the bag, allowing a ton of tacks to spill out, sparkling like jewels under the lights as they tumbled about the mat.

GoD glances over at the referee who is finally getting to her feet in the corner, holding her ribs in pain, with a small nod he turns his attention to HGH, bullying the bigger man to his feet once more as they traverse across the mat towards the tacks. They grab each other and....


Vinnie Lane: "BLEEDING ANGEL!"


GoD plants HGH’s chest and face firmly into the thumbtacks with a beautiful diamond cutter. He rolls him over and covers, a few of the tiny sharp pieces buried in his own skin, which he ignores. Virginia drops, careful to avoid the nasty little things herself, and begins the count.



1!



















2!!



















3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - The God of Death

Vinnie Lane: "What an absolutely wild match! GD getting the hard fought victory here."

As both men get to their feet, a sea of black clothed servants begin to walk out from the back and down the aisle towards the ring. HGH, assessing the situation, bails over the top rope and out through the crowd as the servants slowly march. Two of them are holding a body bag, and the rest of them are carrying a large cross.


Vinnie Lane: "Not this again. We saw them tie poor Boris to that cross two weeks ago."


The servants slide the body bag into the ring before lifting the cross and getting it over the top rope and into the ring. They continue to struggle with it as the God of Death speaks.

GD: Two weeks ago, I made a promise - a promise that someone would be made an example out of every day until I got what I wanted. In those two weeks, I did not hear anything from anyone. My demands have not been met, and the folks who run this decrepit organization continue to ignore me. The God of Death does not break his promises, so tonight, another sacrifice must be made.

GD walks over to the body bag and slowly unzips it. He turns it upside down, and out of the bag plops...





MIYOKO KAWASHIMA!

The former Anarchy GM!

The crowd instantly gasp in shock, before showering GD and his crew in boos.


Vinnie Lane: "Oh, come on now! Miyoko hasn't worked for the company in years! This is all to get into Centurion's head!"


GD grabs the groggy Miyoko by the top of the head and lifts her off the mat, causing Miyoko to yell in pain as he does so. He tosses Miyoko to the servants, who begin to tie Miyoko to the cross.

GD: You have all once again been chosen...

The crowd pops hard as Centurion comes storming out from the back with a golf club!


Vinnie Lane: "He's had enough!"


GD instructs his servants to get out of the ring and cut Centurion off. They get out of the ring, but the slow and poor trained servants are no match for Centurion and his golf club, who takes them down one by one. All of the servants get taken out until there is three left in the ring - GD, the mysterious woman, and the young Asian man. Centurion slides into the ring and GD pushes the Asian man toward Centurion, who immediately takes him down with a shot to the head with the golf club. The distraction is just enough for GD and the mysterious woman to bail out of the ring and slowly back up the rampway. Centurion unties Miyoko from the cross before grabbing the microphone left behind by GD in the ring.

Centurion: DeSantis, you son of a bitch! I'll see your ass at Relentless!

The crowd cheers as GD smiles, finally getting what he wants.

Centurion: But this is not a match that will end with a roll up. This will not end just because you're in a little bit of pain. There will be blood. - LOTS of blood! I'm talking buckets of blood. I'm talking unimaginable pain. I'm talking a RAW BRUTALITY MATCH!!

GD yells "fine by me!" in the aisleway.

Centurion: And I want this to be a message to all of you who choose to support this so called "God". If you want to follow him to the ring, so be it, but know that you are putting yourself in harms way. If you decide you want to take part in this match, then I will treat you with the same level of violence that I will treat GD. And DeSantis! If you beat me, I will bow to you. I will acknowledge your divinity as a god. But if I beat you, then you need to cough up the identity of your benefactor - the person who brought you here in the first place. And if you refuse to do that, then the beating will continue - over and over again - until you either give me the information I want...or until you perish!

Centurion throws the mic down and stares daggers into GD.

THUGS (John Black & Tommy Wish) - vs - Ruby & Calypso Referee: John X

Vinnie Lane: "Alright wrestling fans, welcome back to XWF Anarchy! Coming up next is a match up I’m balding with excitement over."

Vinnie Lane: "Whoa! I didn’t mean to say that. But anyway, here comes Calypso!"

The lights in the arena dim as Calypso's music starts. Several spotlights pan over the crowd and all meet at the entrance where Calypso appears wearing a glittering robe. He walks through the mist slowly makes his way towards the ramp.

Vinnie Lane: "We saw Calypso on the last episode of Anarchy. He put up a pretty nice performance against Ruby in a losing effort, and is starting to become an Anarchy mainstay."

Calypso stops his march to the ring as Ruby’s music hits the deck.


Vinnie Lane: "So why not see if these two can work together?!"


Ruby walks out from under the tron and waves to the crowd with a smile. She pulls her eyes down to Calypso’s who has turned around to face her. The duo exchange some dubious eye contact as Ruby walks to stand next to her tag partner.


Vinnie Lane: "Everyone loves Ruby! And I’m sure in time, Calypso will love her too."


The odd couple nod at one another and shake hands before walking to the ring together. They each take an opposite corner to enter the ring and then grab a mutual corner after performing some meta heroic poses with one another.

Referee John X looks annoyed.

Vinnie Lane: "Uh oh! Here come dem THUGS!"


The AnarchoTron comes to life with the words "THUGS" in flames, and we see the THUGS in jackets and ski masks on their faces as they walk towards the ring. Then we see them getting thrown garbage in the process, which they ignore as they reach the ring. Then they enter the ring, and take off their jackets and Ski Mask to reveal the THUGS to mixed reactions as their theme cuts off.

John X gets upset at the litter of the THUGS clothing being just strung out across the ring. He shouts and demands Tommy and JB go to their corners. He then has an awkward struggle with the leather jackets and ski masks, trying to kick them out of the ring. It lasts a little too long.


Vinnie Lane: "This should be a nice matchup. The THUGS are an experienced tag team, Ruby and Calypso are both experienced singles wrestlers. These types of matchups always make for some great action."


The match starts with Tommy Wish and Calypso. Wish seeming like a pre-planned starter, and Calypso having insisted himself start out to Ruby. She politely obliged.

John X calls for the bell and the two begin circling around the ring. Calypso’s feet are swift like a dancers, and Tommy moves more methodically. Tommy, realizing that his back is now to Ruby’s corner, charges in to lock up with Calypso. But the nimble rolls out of the way just in time, seeing Tommy tumble into his own corner. Before Wish can even react, the quick Calypso has closed the gap, leaping ever so gracefully in the air and catching the side of Tommy’s head with a knee lift.

But while Calypso is in the opposition's corner, John Black rears back and catches him right in the nose with a cheap punch. The fans boo and it doesn’t appear as if John X spotted the illegal blow. Calypso falls back clutching at his face and turning back towards his corner, obviously blinded by the tears welling up in his eyes. But before Calypso can even raise his head to look for his partner, Tommy explodes from the corner and drops him face first to the mat with a running bulldog.


Vinnie Lane: "Ouch! That looked painful! Rulypso is in trouble here in the early going!"


Calypso looks to be seriously damaged from those consecutive attacks to his face, but Tommy doesn’t go for the cover. The wily tag veteran instead drags Calpyso over over to his corner, stomping on his head before making the tag to John Black. The fans begin booing as the THUGS have Calypso buried on his butt in the corner, taking turns stomping his chest and arms. Calypso is desperately trying to cover up as John X makes the count and forces Tommy out of the ring.

But the trouble doesn’t end for Calypso. Black grabs a hold of the top rope for leverage and places his boot right under Calypso’s chin, choking him out with his boot. John X makes the count for JB to get off of the rope, and just as he does, JB tags Wish back in. Wish mirrors the exact same move, choking Calypso through the ref’s count, and then sending a boot to the head. He tags Black in again!


Vinnie Lane: "This is what veteran tag-team work looks like. The THUGS are in full control here!"


After repeating the same move again, JB doesn’t go for the tag right away. He breaks from the ropes, and lifts Calypso before tagging Wish again. As soon as the tag is made, JB drops Calypso’s spine over his knee with a backbreaker, and holds him in position. Wish climbs the top rope and leaps off with a diving leg drop!

JB holds his arms up in victory as he ducks out to the apron while Wish goes for the cover.

1!




2!!




OUT OF NOWHERE IT’S RUBY!

Having had enough of watching the double teams, she darted over and tackled Wish off of the pin. John X is not happy. He stands and immediately berates Ruby, turning his back to the THUGS and begins walking the former Anarchy Champion back to her corner.

But with John X’s back turned, the THUGS swarm Calypso, and start rifling him with kicks and punches and chokes! Ruby starts pointing over John X’s shoulder, protesting and pleading for him to break up the unfair attack, but John X never looks over his shoulder. He only gets angrier with Ruby for arguing with him. With X still backing Ruby into her corner, the THUGS lift Calypso and drop him head first into the mat with a double DDT. Calypso’s neck bends awkwardly on the canvas.

JB steps back out onto the apron just as X turns around to see Tommy making the pin.

1!


2!!


3!!!

NO!


Vinnie Lane: "Calypso just kicked out of that pinfall on reflex alone!"


Wish is beside himself, standing and arguing with John X over the speed of the count.


Vinnie Lane: "Uh oh. Tommy is picking a fight with John X. Probably not a good idea."


John X and Wish come face to face arguing with one another. With X distracted, JB climbs through the ropes again out of turn, receiving a shower of boos and more trash from the crowd. As Calypso was just getting to his hands and knees to crawl away, JB lifts him up by the waist. He’s about to German Suplex Calypso back onto his damaged neck, this could be curtains!

BUT RUBY HAS SEEN ENOUGH!

She charges the ring and darts right past Wish and the official, she leaps into the air and superman punches JB, breaking up the hold he had on Calypso and sending him falling back into his corner. Tommy turns around from X and swings at Ruby with a wild haymaker, but she ducks underneath and counters with a perfect pele’ kick, knocking Wish down to the mat.

John X is irate! He stomps in front of Ruby and commands her back to her corner, and in no time with X distracted again, JB is stepping back through the ropes. BUT RUBY IS OVER IT! She ignores John X and runs by him, trying to spear JB through the ropes. But JB slides out of the way back onto the apron. Ruby notices just in time and grabs onto the middle rope, swinging herself onto the apron right next to JB. Black goes to back hand Ruby who ducks underneath, rises up and catches JB on the button with a pointed elbow attack. But JB doesn’t fall, he’s able to reach right back, grabbing a handful of Ruby’s hair and running her face first towards the turnbuckle pad.

BUT JOHN X!

He plies his way between the two of them from the other side of the ropes. The force of him becoming between JB’s arm and Ruby’s shoulder, inadvertently knocks Ruby from the apron to the floor. John X swears in frustration for having just bumped a wrestler. He looks down at Ruby, distracted from the match again, and quickly JB takes the opportunity to toss something in the ring to Tommy.


Vinnie Lane: "Whoa! Those look like knuckle dusters!"


Wish slides the brass on his hand and sizes up Calypso who’s bleeding from the nose, disoriented and crawling towards his partnerless corner. Wish hauls back, he swings!

NO!

John X catches Tommy’s arm! He grabs him by the wrist and looks at Tommy in the eyes as if he’s about to kill him. Tommy tries acting innocent, ripping his arm from X and tucking it behind his back. Just as John is about to disqualify Tommy, his focus is broken again… jeez this guy needs to start taking daily fish-oil.


Vinnie Lane: "CALYPSO MADE THE TAG TO RUBY!"


Ruby hits the ring, Tommy turns around and swings with the knuckles, but Ruby counters, spins, and drops Tommy with a swinging neck breaker. JB, sensing trouble, charges the ring. He goes for the clothesline, but Ruby ducks underneath, turns around and blasts JB in the back with a dropkick that sends JB through the ropes. He holds on and pulls up on the ropes to stand.

But not for long!

Ruby connects with the suicide spear this time sending both she and JB to the floor. Ruby took the fall perfectly, making sure to mostly only land on JB, she bounces back to her feet and leaps onto the apron. She spots Tommy who is climbing back to his feet. Ruby pulls on the ropes and vaults over into the ring taking Tommy down with a flying crossbody.

Tommy is down!

JB is out on the floor!

John X is over this crap!

Ruby scales the top rope!!!


Vinnie Lane: "RUBY IN THE ROUGH!"


The diving double foot stomp crushes Tommy's chest.

Ruby stands up with her hands on her hips, ready to make the pin… but Calypso is jumping up and down in their corner BEGGING to be tagged in!

Ruby shrugs and tags in her partner, getting out of the way so that the BLUE TANGO can take the glory for their team.

Calypso moseys over and grabs Wish up off the mat…


LOOK OUT! KICK TO THE GUT BY WISH!


HIDEYAFACE!!!!


Tommy Wish plants Calypso with the impact DDT and then hooks his legs before Ruby can even blink!




1!


























2!!



































3!!!

Winners by Pinfall - THUGS

Vinnie Lane: “I can’t believe it! Ruby had the match completely won and then she tried to be a nice guy and give Calypso a moment to shine… and it cost her the victory!”


The THUGS celebrate all the way to the back as Ruby looks sad but sticks around to make sure Calypso is okay.

Anarchy fades to commercial.

THE NEW CHAMP AND THE NEW COMMISH! ANARCHY COMMISSIONER DOLLY WATERS SPEAKS WITH BIG MONEY OSWALD ABOUT THE FUTURE OF ANARCHY!

We return from the break, fading in on the commentary desk where Vinnie Lane appears amused by this sold out crowd erupting with positive energy.


Vinnie Lane: “Alright, dudes. Welcome back from commercial break!”


We’re getting close to our very important main event tonight.

But first let me direct your attention to the center of the ring, where I’m proud to announce our brand new XWF Anarchy Commissioner, the one, the only, Dolly Waters is standing by!”


The camera switches to an in ring shot of Commissioner Dolly Waters. She’s center ring and smiling, a mic in one hand, the other hand waving downward, humbly asking the crowd to chill their applause.

But the crowd keeps roaring.

Wow!

She laughs, resigning herself to carry on through the cheers,

Columbus, Ohio…

The crowd gets louder yet,

...you sure know how to make a Kentucky girl feel welcomed!

...

...

The XWF fans of the Buckeye State begin singing “Hang on Sloopy” for Dolly, who just shakes her head with a smile.

... thanks ya’ll.

Seriously. It means a lot.

But tonight ain’t about me, no…

It’s about restoring some standards to yours, to mine, to OUR favorite wrestling program in the world: XWF Anarchy, and ushering in a new era of this historic show.

So…

Allow me to do just that by welcoming to the ring… the NEW XWF Anarchy Champion:
BIG! MONEY! OOOOOOOSWALD!!!!

The cheers kinda peter-out into jeers, but there’s a fresh pop or two from the crowd as well.

Oswald’s music hits, fireworks begin to fire off in rapid succession, as if someone was firing an automatic weapon, until it all ends with several bangs. As he’s about to walk out, a shower of fireworks begin to spill down when he finally appears onto the entrance way. He slowly walks out, hands undoing the Anarchy championship belt, before pulling it up into the air and lets the crowd react to him.

Once he basks in the boos and cheers, he will place the belt over his right shoulder, and soon the core of BOB: Miss Fury, Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon come and flank him, as he walks to the ring, up the steps, and BOB waits at the side of the ring, with him stepping through the middle of the ropes, holding up the belt once more for cheers and boos.

Dolly stands there, the microphone cuffed tucked her arm as she claps for the proud champion. As Oswald and the fans settle down, Dolly pulls the mic back up to her lips, which pulls Big Money’s gaze squarely on the new Commissioner.

Big Money Oswald…? Let me be the first to _officially_ congratulate you on that impressive win two weeks ago. You have been chasing that Anarchy Championship for months, and months, and even when you would fail, or get overlooked, you kept grinding and now you ARE Anarchy’s Champion!

The crowd gives Oswald a well-deserved round of applause as he smirks and nods towards Dolly.

You earned this sir. You. Earned. This. She says, while moving closer to Oswald and tapping on the gold plated championship belt.

...You have earned the right to be, not just a champion, but ANARCHY’S champion. Do you understand?

Oswald squints at her

...what I’m trying to say is I want YOU!

BIG. MONEY. OSWALD!

To be the FACE of all of XWF Anarchy. I want you to be the ambassador of our brand of wrestling. New Oswald merchandise. Guest spots on The View. Howard Stern. The full nine, pal!

Because as you know, we’ve got some cleaning up around here to do… we’ve got an image to restore in the wrestling world, and that’s exactly why Vinnie brought me in to do this job.

There ain’t gonna’ be anymore Fury’s rules nonsense…

I mean what’s the point in even booking wrestling matches if every single one of them is a hardcore match? We might as well be filming episodes of Bum Fights. All of that lazy booking, it takes away from wrestlers who are looking to build meaningful feuds that these fans are dying to see on this program...

Oswald. Are you ready to be not just the champ… but the face of Anarchy?

Oswald looks at Dolly, having been thinking about everything she’s been saying. He looks down to the ground, then to the sky aka roof, then looks back at her.

”Look, you might dislike Fury’s Rules, but I enjoy them. I enjoy beating up my opponents any way possible. I enjoy using weapons. For fuck’s sake, my body IS a weapon. You’ve seen me throw my entire body at my opponents. People know that I will do everything in my power to hurt my opponents, make them understand that the person that they are facing against, is not human. That he is going to hurt and maim in order to win.”

...well. Sorry, big guy. But Fury’s rules are gone, gone, gone. But let me stop you there for a second.

She holds her hand out as Oswald was going to speak, and likely protest that decision,

You don’t need Fury’s rules to win matches.

”What do you mean?”

Christ, dude! Look at you! You said it yer’self. Yer body IS a weapon. And honestly, I want to see you, these FANS want to see you carry this brand of Anarchy without having to cheat. Without having to try and maim your opponents with weapons and such. I mean, if we hospitalize every member of the Anarchy roster, eventually we’ll have no show, and you and I will both be out of a job.

”Yeah, it’s a weapon, and my fans enjoy watching me punish people with anything I can get my hands on! They want to see me break people!”

Hey Columbus…

Dolly turns back to the crowd,

Do you all want to see Oswald murder the entire Anarchy roster?

NO!

Are you a little bored of every match being a death match?

YES!

Donyiu fans want a WRESTLING show, or do you want bWo?!

We want wrestling! We want wrestling!

And you know what wise they want Oswald? They want YOU to be the champion that carries the Anarchy program into a new era… and so do I…

But… as the new champion, as the new ambassador, as the new face of XWF Anarchy that you are Oswald, I’m going to need some cooperation. Because while you’re the champion, while you’re the face of this show I need to make sure you keep your priorities straight.

Dolly looks at BOB standing outside of the ring scowling at her,

No more frivolous lawsuits over the Billion Dollar championship…

”That championship was created by me! I set forth the goddamn rules and that bitch is trying to say that those rules aren’t there anymore but is placing her own!”

Eh! Lemme stop you right there, big guy. If Yer’ more concerned about your old championship, as you are…

Dolly pats the Anarchy Title again,

...this one. Then maybe I’ve made a mistake. Maybe you aren’t cut out to be the face of this program.

”You should see how much I care about the titles I own and understand that I’m willing to die for these belts. I held that Billion Dollar Championship belt for a year and two goddamn months! I care about its legacy as much as I care about this belt! I set forth rules, and as someone who likes rules yourself, you should see why I’m upset about her breaking them!”

You’re missing the point, Oswald. Yer’ not the Billion Dollar Champion anymore. Yer’ the XWF Anarchy Champion… maybe I’m not making myself clear enough, if not, I’m sorry. But allow me to just lay it out there for ya’ pal.

As XWF Anarchy Champion, as the face of this brand you are going to represent this show, and that championship belt, first, and foremost. Not TK, not Bobby Bourbon, CCP, not even Fury herself comes before your responsibilities as the new steward of this brand. Do you understand me? Yer’ either the XWF Anarchy champion… or, well… yer’ not. Comprende?

”This show belongs to me now. I will carry this show on the backs of those I have bested, and I will be ushering in the new era of God Champion Oswald!

EH! AAAAANARCHY Champion Oswald

”I SAID WHAT I SAID!”

He shows off his godly form in small bits and pieces.

“DO WE HAVE A PROBLEM!?”

Well… I didn’t think we did have a problem. But now I’m starting to question myself. So I’ll tell ya’ what: take the rest of the night off, Oswald. That’s an order. And I want you to think long and hard about that Championship. The one you’ve worked so hard for… that one we’re ALL thrilled to see you holding. And I want you to think about what’s most important.

I’m not asking you to leave BOB, Oswald. I’m not asking you to not be yer’self. I’m asking you for a hand. Help me build this program as our new champion, or I’ll find someone else. Okay?

Dolly holds her hand out for Oswald to shake

Oswald looks at her, looks at her hand, looks at BOB.

“I’ll think about it.”

His music hits once more as he drops the mic and makes his way out of the ring to head to the back with BOB to continue the celebrations.

Dolly Waters exits the ring and has a seat next to Vinnie Lane at his ringside announce table.

”Sup Boss! How’d I do?”


Vinnie Lane: “Great job Dolly! Stick around for the main event!”


”Gosh, I sure will!”

Lord Raab - vs - Miss Fury If Fury loses for ANY reason - BOB has to disband and forfeit their titles! Referee: Mr. Referee

Monster by Skillet plays over the sound system as Lord Raab comes out through the curtain wearing his green and black wrestling trousers with his nickname The Green Disease German Monster on the front of them with Monster Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands and wears a black and green mask and ignores the fans as he goes up the stairs before going in-between the ropes and crouches down in the corner moving backwards and forwards, rubbing his hands and moving his neck around while looking at his opponent with anger in his eyes while waiting for the match to start.


Vinnie Lane: “Dollface,what do you think of Lord Raab?”


”Hungry. Dangerous. More anger than brains, though. I hope he gives Fury a good ol’ fashioned Dollywhop tonight.”


Vinnie Lane: “A reminder to the folks at home, Miss Fury has a LOT on the line. ANY loss for ANY reason will result in all of BOB’s titles being vacated… and the group’s disbandment!”

The crowd erupts into vicious boos and hisses as Miss Fury emerges from behind the curtain with “Chronic” Chris Page at her side. Fury soaks in all the hatred with a smile, and gives Vinnie a wave as she passes by his announce desk. Page glares at Vinnie and shouts at him. “Sorry BOSS, that’s ALL MINE now!”

Someone in the crowd asks Page to “chat him up” and asks if he owns or rents his home, causing Page to snap at him as Fury enters the ring and stares across at Raab with her tongue sticking out like Bangerz-era Miley.


Vinnie Lane: “Miss Fury has had free reign on Anarchy for a while, but that all ended last time when I made my handsome, heroic return!”


”Fury’s got a personality that’d make an opossum play dead. Not to mention her breath could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon!”


Vinnie Lane: “Ha! Anyway, you’re gonna have to fly solo in the booth here Dolly. I’ve gotta handle some business...”


”Wait, wut???!”

Vinnie gets up from the table then and sets his headset down. He enters the ring while Fury and Raab both glare at him with distrust.

Mr. Referee, the beloved sock puppet official that children everywhere adore, seems equally confused.


Vinnie Lane: “Mister Ref, my bad, but you’re relieved of duty for the evening. This match is just too dang important… so I’m handling it myself!”


The crowd pops as Vinnie takes off his hot pink blazer to reveal a pink and white striped referee’s shirt underneath! He smiles from ear to ear as Fury throws a tantrum in her corner, kicking at the turnbuckle pad and shrieking.


Vinnie Lane: “Careful Jess! Don’t get disqualified!”


Fury scowls but composes herself. She bends down in her corner and starts whispering to Page on the outside.


Vinnie Lane: “Oh! That reminds me! As official, I am OFFICIALLY declaring that all members of the BOB are BARRED from ringside! So, Chris, that means...”


Vinnie does his best Pinellas County softball umpire impression.


Vinnie Lane: “YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU’RE OUTTATHERE!!!”


Vinnie points to the back and Fury and Page throw a fit. Page cusses up a storm and cocks a finger at Vinnie in the ring, but he backs on down the ramp as he’s told, not willing to risk getting Miss Fury disqualified with so much on the line.

A few seconds later, Vinnie gives Fury a wink and then calls for the bell!


DING! DING! DING!!!


”Looks like this shindig is off to the races! Lord Raab looks ready to yank Miss Fury’s head clean off.”

Raab is as intense as ever, assailing Fury with unorthodox attacks. Fury though, perhaps having learned something from her recent butt kicking from Ronda-without-an-H Rousey, manages to keep some distance and avoids taking much damage.

That all ends when Raab fakes her out with a feint kick in one direction and follows up with a hard right hand! Fury gets sent tumbling into a corner and Raab flies in after her with a shoulder to the midsection hard enough to push Fury’s backside out into a sitting position on the second turnbuckle. Raab drags Fury onto his shoulders and turns in a semicircle… death valley driver into the corner!

”Fury got sent on a ride there! Now Raab’s got her feet tucked into the ol’ Tree a’ Woe, and he’s usin’ his shit kickers to kick some shit!”

Raab lays some hard stomps into the trapped Miss Fury while Vinnie Lane gives a deliberate five count off to the side. When he gets to five, he steps between Raab and Fury and makes Raab do a clean break!

Raab huffs and stomps off to the center of the ring while Vinnie helps Fury get free from the ropes.

”Right down the middle. Vinnie Lane was a STAR at my 12 step program over the Summer, because he’s got a strong set of ethics!”

Fury gets up holding her ribs and heads to the middle of the ring, and this time when Raab throws a swing, Fury has it scouted and changes levels, pulling Raab down in a drop toehold.

Fury rolls over Raab and stretches him in an STF, cranking back on his mandible for all she’s worth. Raab squirms his way to the bottom rope and grabs on, and Vinnie calls for a break… but Fury won’t release! Vinnie counts loudly in her face.


1!


2!


3!


4!


5!


And he then pulls Fury’s hands off of Raab himself, wagging a finger in her face with a warning.

”Once again the owner lays down the law. Don’t cross the boss, folks!”

Fury chooses to jaw with Vinnie and gets caught with a big clothesline from Raab. Raab then waits with his hand cocked as Fury struggles to her feet and turns…


CHOKEINATOR!!!


Fury gets planted with the big chokeslam and then Raab leans over her and pins her shoulders to the mat! Vinnie gets into position!



1!













2!!















Miss Fury kicks out!



”That was a perfectly timed count. I was clockin’ it with my favorite heirloom… the pocketwatch I got from my granddaddy.”

The camera centers on Dolly at ringside, who stares at her pocketwatch wistfully.

”Why, it feels just like yesterday when me an’ Pop Pop would sit on the porch with a pitcher of sweet iced tea. Whittlin’. Strummin’ the fiddle. Smokin’ tabacky out of my homemade corncob pipe…”

A tear comes to her eye.

”I miss you Pop Pop…”

And then she’s interrupted when Miss Fury is sent tumbling over the top rope and ends up rolling right into the announce desk!

Lord Raab exits the ring and hammers Miss Fury, and Vinnie Lane stands in the ring counting to ten.


1!


2!


3!


4!



Lord Raab sends Fury into the guard rail and then rolls back into the ring as Vinnie continues counting.


5!


6!


7!


8!


9!


Just in time, Miss Fury dives into the ring and stops the count before Vinnie can call the ten.


Raab rushes Fury and leans over to grab her, but Fury rolls him up in a small package!


Vinnie drops to the mat, but notices Fury has a handful of tights and refuses to count the fall! He waves it off and tells Fury to let go, and Miss Fury jumps up, absolutely quivering with rage.

”Miss Fury ain’t none too pleased!”

Fury keeps arguing her case until Raab spins her around from behind, then sends a kick to her gut that folds her up like Pop Pop Waters’ old accordion. He pulls Fury into the air and drills her with a huge powerbomb before dropping onto her with a lateral press!



1!
























2!!





























Fury with the shoulder up!


”Close call for Miss Fury right there! We almost got to see the BOB dissolve right before our eyes!”


Fury rolls out of harm’s way and starts pressing her fingers into her throat.


”Uh oh! We seen this before a few times… Miss Fury knows the mysteries of the ORIENTAL MIST!”


Raab lumbers toward Fury but Fury spins on him, spewing out a bright red cloud of mist from her mouth…


BUT VINNIE BLOCKED IT ALL WITH HIS BANDANNA!!!


Miss Fury is in shock as she stares at the stained bandanna in Vinnie’s hands as he once again wags a finger in warning to Fury.

Fury bickers again with Vinnie but only has a few seconds as Lord Raab once again charges…

RIGHT INTO THE SCREAM FOR MERCY!!!


”Miss Fury’s got that mandible claw in DEEP! Lord Raab better get loose quick or the fat lady’s gonna sing!”


Raab struggles and tries to break free but he starts to fade fairly quickly as Miss Fury presses her fingers down into the nerves of his jaw.

Raab is soon on his back, trying futilely to pull Fury’s hand from his mouth, but soon his arms go limp!

Vinnie grabs Raab by a wrist and lifts it once… it falls!


He grabs it a second time…


It falls again!


And then a third time…









LORD RAAB’S HAND FALLS!!



Miss Fury jumps up with her arms raised but Vinnie notices that Lord Raab’s foot is on the bottom rope! He doesn’t call for the bell and instead tells Fury what’s happened, pointing over at Raab’s leg and explaining why the match isn’t over.

Fury goes into a full meltdown, nearly bursting into tears at Vinnie’s insistence on sticking to the rules.

And then suddenly…





The crowd pops as Roxy Cotton’s theme music lights up the AnarchoTron!

Vinnie Lane’s jaw drops and he turns around, staring at the entrance ramp with a dumbfounded look on his face, waiting for his #ForeverFiance… but no one comes out.

The music continues to play, and behind Vinnie’s back Miss Fury scoots out of the ring and grabs a steel chair from ringside. She re-enters the ring as Vinnie keeps staring at the Tron and waiting, and then…


She bashes herself in the head with it!


Miss Fury drops to the mat, tossing the chair towards where Lord Raab stands as the Tron fades out and Vinnie slowly turns to see what’s now in front of him.

Lord Raab with a chair at his feet, and a seemingly unconscious Miss Fury on the canvas with a small trickle of blood coming from her forehead.

Vinnie looks from the chair to Raab, then from the chair to Fury. Then back to Raab. He points at Raab, who starts shouting and proclaiming his innocence angrily.

But Vinnie doesn’t buy it! He calls for the bell!


DING! DING! DING!!!

Winner by DQ - Miss Fury

”I can’t believe it! Miss Fury snookered Vinnie and used his own rules against him! She’s truly an evil genius!”


Back in the ring, Raab is losing his mind and screaming in Vinnie Lane’s face. Vinnie isn’t having it though and sticks to his guns, pointing at the chair and shouting back that rules are rules.


OH MY GOD, LORD RAAB GRABS VINNIE BY THE THROAT!


CHOKEINATOR!!!!!!!



Lord Raab just chokeslammed the owner of the XWF, and stands over him snarling. Vinnie is on the mat grabbing at his injured neck and wincing, and Raab grabs the chair!

Raab holds the steel chair high overhead and is about to slam it viciously down onto the bossman’s head!






MISS FURY DROPS RAAB WITH A JUDAS EFFECT ELBOW!


Lord Raab is sent out of the ring and the chair clatters to the floor, and the camera zooms in on Fury and Vinnie in the ring, giving each other an uneasy look.


”Holy crap, folks, we are ALL out of time but what a dang match! What a dang show! Who woulda seen anything like this coming??? Not me!”


Vinnie gets to his feet and nods at Miss Fury, and Fury leaves the ring as Chris Page walks down the ramp to meet her.


”Until next time, I’m your Anarchy Commissioner Dolly F’in Waters! See you next ANARCHY!”


The screen fades out to an in memoriam shot.

SPECIAL THANKS: Dolly Waters Charlie Nickles Centurion Jack Inthebox John Black Mark Flynn Lycana Ghost Freakin’ Tank

2x KWA Unified Southern Glory Champion
6x KWA Middleweight Champion
4x KWA Tag Team Champion
1x XWF XTreme Champion


-Dumb Dolly records that no one cares about-

3x XTreme Champion
2x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles)
2x Hart Champion
3x Television Champion

3x Star Of The Month
August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16

3x RP Of The Month
What light through sonder... my perception breaks.
Tranquility: For Old Times Sake
Manifest Victory