LIVE!

JULY 22, 2018 ... XWF PRESENTS...




From the Capitol One Arena in Washington D.C., home of the NHL Champion Washington Capitals!

ROBBIE BOURBON - vs - RAIN Warm-Up Match! Robbie has decided the former X-Treme Champion would make an excellent warm-up before the LOF Main Event!

"Here comes the Rain again", by Skylar Grey hits and the colors of the arena begin to flash quickly and vibrantly, akin to a trance club. Rain walks out through the curtains, the xTron displaying -- '#iAm'

'...#ETERNAL"'

Sparks of every color pour down upon the stage, as Rain saunters out.. He wears a t-shirt reading-- '#BELiEVE' on the front, bedecked in dazzling diamonds. Over the shirt he wears a black, leather vest with metal spikes protruding from its shoulders. And he always wears a necklace with a shimmering, crystal Dragon pendant, referring to himself as the so called "New Dragon" after his hero Javex "The Deite's Dragon" Valerius.

The fans offer up a split reaction, some calling for his head (familiar territory, to say the least). However, some cheer on 'The Storm' as he sprints down the ramp, slides under the bottom and hops on the middle rope. Rain pumps his right fist to the beat of the song as the cheers of the "Storm-Watcherz" reverberate throughout the building, as Rain prepares for war.





The opening chords to I Wanna Riot permeate throughout the air as Robbie's music starts to play throughout the arena, the lights performing a sweet strobe show as the vocals cut the air. Across the X-Tron, we see the exact same thing as what is traditionally used as Robbie Bourbon's banner on the XWF website, and as the baseline ramps up, Robbie steps out. He raises his arms to 45 degree angles while the X-Tron shows clips of Robbie standing on top of the Elimination Chamber followed by the massive dive through the top onto Trax, Robbie forcing Vinnie Lane to sign his contract mid-match, Robbie Bourbon scoring a pinfall against Chris Chaos, and Robbie delivering the final blow to Barney Green's career by way of Robbiebomb onto the hood of the car. Robbie Bourbon pinning James Raven and hoisting the XWF Universal Championship belt high with both hands. Robbie starts to calmly walk down to the ring, taking his time to get there. He climbs the ring steps, stands on the apron, and turns his back to the ring, and raises his arms at 45 degree angles while jawing to the crowd, which is singing along to Nobody Speak. Robbie then enters the ring and points at the referee, jawing at him. He then spins, hops on the second turnbuckle, and raises his arms at 45 degree angles again.


Bourbon jumps down from the turnbuckle and Rain immediately runs at him at full pace, Bourbon sees Rain coming and helps Rain shoulder charge the turnbuckle. The ref rings the bell and Rain, who tried to catch Bourbon off guard, is in trouble already. Bourbon lifts the smaller Rain up by his shoulders and pins him against the post. Rain begs for Bourbon not to hit him, but Bourbon delivers a large, stinging chop to Rains chest. Rain goes to hold his chest but Robbie doesn't allow him to, Bourbon taunts the crowd, "Ssssshhhhhh" Another hard chop.

The fans shout that famous Ric Flair signature.. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Bourbon grins and Rain falls to the mat in pain. Bourbon is enjoying himself, Rain isn't and Robbie is toying with The Rainbow Warrior. Robbie clearly isn't a fan of eating skittles and tasting the rainbow but Rain is tasting these stomps from Robbie. Rain tries to crawl away and Robbie grabs his leg, Rain twists around so he is led on his back and kicks repeatedly at Bourbon, Bourbon backs away after receiving those hard boots. Rain gets himself some time and smartly rolls out the ring to get a breather to the annoyance of the fans.

Bourbon is in the LOF match later on in the night and doesn't look impressed that Rain escaped. Robbie climbs out the ring and we have a cat and mice game. Rain who is obviously faster sprints around the ring as Bourbon is in tow. They must do three laps around the ring and the fans aren't impressed, "BOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Bourbon has to stop, he's tired and Rain sees his advantage. He slides in the ring and climbs the turnbuckle, Robbie looks up.. Moonsault from the top by Rain taking both men out on the hard floor. The fans cheer with excitement now as they loved the high risk manuever. Great stragedy by Rain. Rain eventually gets up and slides in to the ring, Bourbon follows about 30 seconds later. Rain is waiting in anticipation, he runs at Bourbon delivering a spear. Bourbon is down and Rain covers...


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Kick out with authority.

Rain has to keep up momentum now he's in m the drivers seat. Bourbon is on his knees, Shining Wizard from The Storm. Rain goes for the pin again...


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Big Kick out.

Rain waits again for Robbie to get up...


Orinoco Flow (Spike DDT)


Bourbon is nailed and laid out on his back and Rain goes for another cover...



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2....




Bourbon gets the shoulder up.

Rain can't believe it as he grabs his long hair whilst sat in the corner of the turnbuckle. He nods to himself and gets up, waiting again. Robbie gets to his feet and Rain charges at him...

Clothesline by Bourbon, turning Rain inside out. Robbie isn't impressed and lifts Rain up straight up, not letting up. T-bone Duplex. Rain flies across the ring and lands with a CRASH Bourbon means business now. Robbie lifts Rain up by the hair, Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Robbie goes for the pin attempt...


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2....




Kick out from Rain.

The fans are enjoying this match now as the opening match has became quite entertaining. Robbie pulls Rain up again, showing his dominant side, he puts his hand around the throat of Rain...

The E.M.C.

The Mightiest Chokeslam.

Rain is out, this has got to be over as Bourbon goes for the cover...


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2....






Rain barely gets the shoulder up. A grin emerges on Robbies face. Once again he pulls Rain up, signalling for the end. He places Rains head between his legs, we're gonna see the Robbiebomb? Robbie lifts Rain up but whilst hoisted up, Rain somehow turns in mid air and hits a...

Velvet Cutter... Outta Nowhere. He nailed the his RKO type trademark. An unbelieveable reversal and Rain might have this...

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2.....






Kick out. Bourbon manages to kick out just before the three count. Rain can't believe it, he thought he had it in the bag. The fans thought he had it AFTER he received all that punishment. Rain gets to his feet and Robbie slowly gets to one knee. He then manages to get up and Rain goes for a Hurricanrana but Robbie holds him, shaking his head... Oh no....

Robbiebomb.

Rain hits the back of his head hard...as Robbie goes for the pin.






ONE!












TWO!!




















THREE!!!!

Winner - Robbie Bourbon

RANDOM - vs - DREZDIN Steel Cage Match!

“This match is set for a one fall to escape the cage. The first man, who’s feet on the outside is the winner, the man who hails from Parts Unknown… RANDOM!”



Rides a Silverback Gorilla named Jones Sampson down the ramp

"His opponent, who hails from Saskatoon… DREZDIN!"



The arena goes completely black for a moment, then the lights start to pulsate as the music starts to blare through the PA system. As soon as the pyro goes off the lights turn on, the people in the arena turn silent, the people are at awe and shock on how massive he is. He starts walking down the ramp, he yells out...IT'S GO TIME!, then he stops at the end of the ramp to take a deep breath. He approaches the ring, then he grabs the rope ring rope gets unto the ring aparon goes over the top rope then walks towards the middle of the ring. He raises his left hand as the pyro goes off.

“Luca, this match going to one heck of the time to witness.”

“Yeah, sure Pip.. lets get to the real main event already!”

As the bell rings, the cage slowly comes down to the ring. We see both men checking the cage, then they start to glare at one another. They lock up, and Random pushes him to the ropes, and takes a chop at his chest.

Random pushes Drezdin back of the head to the cage wall a few minutes until Drezdin falls down to the mat, and Random starts to climb the cage.

“Oh snap, Random is trying to climb the cage, and gain the vi—“

Drezdin grabs Random by his tights, and slams him down in the ring. Drezdin stomps him in the midsection. Drezdin lifts up Random, and Irish Whip Random to the ropes, and hits a mean looking Big Boot to the face to Random.

Drezdin does a Elbow Drop, then does another Elbow Drop, but Random rolls out of the way. Random does some Muai Thy kick to his head, and lifts him up to his feet. Random does a combo Muai Thai punches to Drezdin’s gut, and does a kick that makes Drezdin on his left knee.

Random runs towards him and hits a Dropkick onto Drezdin.

“Jesus, that was sweet Dropkick on the 7’2 bemoth of a man.”

“I’ve seen much worse than that, maybe something good might happen!”

Drezdin gets angry, and gets to his feet. In a fit of rage, Drezdin starts to shake the cage, and looks at Random. Drezdin grabs him by his head, and slams it on the left side of the cage. Random started bleeding instantly, as Drezdin attempts to climb the cage wall.

“Luca, I think this is first and only time we seen someone bleeding in this cage match tonight.”

“Might not be the last, but lets see where this goes.”

“Oh snap, Drezdin might climb the cage to win here tonight.”

“He isn’t going to—“

Random quickly gets back to his feet, and quickly climbs the cage where Drezdin was towards the top. Then both men elbow one another, but both men end up dropping down hard on the mat.

They both noticed the cage door was open, and both men slowly crawl to the door, Drezdin comes near the apron but ended getting the door slammed by the ref. Random then drags him to the middle of the ring, then he ties one of his leg to the ropes.

Random laughs at him, and goes to climb to the cage again.

“This is embraessing to say the least for Drezdin.”

Drezdin unties his leg, and quickly reaches to Random. But Random kicks him in the head.

Suddenly, Random does a Moonsault onto Drezdin. The place erupted..

“Holy Shit, what a maneuver by Random!”

“Pip, your riffing off Vince now?”

Random gets to his feet and taunts to the fans. He goes to the top rope, but Drezdin tries to go for a Chokeslam off the top rope, but he does a Tornado DDT on Drezdin.

Random stomps on him for a good measure, and slowly starts to climb the cage.

“I place a bet that Random, will be the winner here tonight.”

“At this rate, Pip, I wouldn’t be surprised… but you might be wrong.”


”Now as all of you know my match meaning this one I am supposed to face random. Now knowing that he hasn't said shit been seen, I know that he much rather take a loss then face a person like me for this many times strait. So since I figured that his ass ain't here, any one on the xwf roster that is back there you damn well know that I a opponent muchless a match. There is no way in hell my ass is goin home with out a fucking fight. IS THERE ANY MOTHER FUCKER IN THE BACK THATS ISNT ON THE CARD THAT WANTS TO FIGHT! WALK YOUR ASS DOWN TO THE RING AND FACE ME!!!!! YOU SEE LIKE I SAID MY ASS AINT GOIN NO WHERE TILL I WHOOP YOUR ASS. I WANNA FIGHT I NEED A FIGHT!!!!!! AND INKNOW YOU WANNA FIGHT TO! HERES YOUR CHANCE TO?”

”Um, what’s Drezdin going on about?”

”Whatever it is he’s saying, it worked! Random is distracted!”

Drezdin shouldertackles the cage causing Random to fall back to the ring. Drezdin then grabs the top of the cage and pulls himself over the top.

”Just like that Drezdin is on top of the cage!”

Drezdin drops to the floor below and dusts off his hands after making easy work of Random.

WINNER: DREZDIN!

R.L. EDGAR - vs - GHOST TANK - vs - HUNTER PAYNE - vs - SEBASSTIAN DYKE Elimination 4-Corners Match! Winner receives his choice of either Hart Title or TV Title shot!

R.L. Edgar walks to the ring.





As the music hits Hunter Payne doesn't walk on stage until the artist begins to sing, leaving about 15 seconds of anticipation for the fans. As the Lighting flickers to the beat of his theme song, Hunter Payne stands on the stage for a few seconds, to get a 'feel' for the atmosphere in the arena. High-fives the fans as he walks down the ramp, slides into the ring, then followed by posing on the top turnbuckle to the fans enjoyment.





Sebasstian Dyke walks out from the back first to a chorus of boos. He then turns around and points to the entrance where new BX3 Leader Ghost Tank emerges. Tank then walks down to the ring with Dyke in tow. The two men climb into the ring and stare down their opponents.


The match starts with all three people charging Edgar, and begin to stomp the fuck outta him. They stomp him as if they were three and he was a flaming bag full of shit. Ghost Tank then picked Edgar up, before running from corner to opposite corner before powerbombing Edgar to the outside, sending him flying straight into the barricade, damn near breaking Edgar in half, only for Hunter to come up from behind and chop block Tank, who falls to one knee, grabbing at his right knee. Dyke sees this and goes straight after Payne, throwing heavy rights and left straight into his face and gut before kneeing him in the stomach as Tank begins to stand once more. Sebasstian grabs Hunter and performs an Irish Whip straight towards Tank, who uses the man's momentum and his strength to make Payne go high up into the air. Tank has made Hunter have probably the highest hang time in XWF history before falling straight down, only for both Tank and Dyke to kick upwards, with Payne catching the kicks straight into his gut, making him begin to writhe and cry out in pain from the heavy attack.

Sebasstian then picks up Payne, as GT runs and bounces off the ropes, going faster and faster, and once Payne is up, double over in pain, Tank adds to the pain as he spears Payne so hard they both end up flying through the middle ropes and onto the ground below. Both men are out for now, and Dyke takes their time to climb out of the ropes, to the absolutely destroyed Edgar who seemingly seems to be broken in half from the powerbomb, and takes him into the ring, immediately pinned him.

ONE!








TWO!









THREE!

R.L. Edgar has been eliminated

Dyke climbs back out of the ring, going to Ghost Tank, helping him into the ring, only to begin stomping on Hunter. While Tank is recovering from that nasty spill from spearing Payne into next Sunday. However, in spite of his pain, as Dyke goes to pick Payne up and about to put him into the ring, Payne kicks Dyke in the stomach before following it up with a quick DDT. He gestured with his left arm to hold his stomach, revealing how badly he felt. He was already starting to bruise from the massive impact. He moves to the stairs, climbing it, then moving to slowly enter back into the ring. Tank, however, the least injured, takes advantage of this and performs the slingblade maneuver, slamming Payne onto his head and upper shoulders, and goes straight for the pin!

ONE!

TWO!

Kick out! Payne kicks out and mutters some obscenities only to feel a massive hand grip his head, and Tank began to squeeze hard, crushing Payne's skull! However, it wasn't long before Hunter performed a cheap shot, a low blow, causing the New Breed to fall to the ground, hands cupping his genitals against his pants.

MOTHERFUCKER! GODDAMMIT!

And as if Sebasstian was Popeye, the word sprung them to life, and they slid into the ring, and tackled Payne and began to send blow after blow into his face.

YOU DON'T TOUCH BIG DADDY'S MEAT! and began to throw them elbows into Payne's face, one strike landing so hard it cut Payne's forehead, right where the hairline rests, causing him to bleed.

Blood runs down Payne's face into his mouth which he then promptly spits into Sebasstian Dyke's face sending the lumbering jackass backwards frantically trying to clear the blood from his eyes.


I hope Payne isn't HIV positive.[/red]

Fuck that. I hope he's got the Super AIDS.


With Dyke distracted Payne moves in for the kill devastating Ghost Tank with a The F'n Payneful Bottom.

[white]Tank is down and he's not getting up.

Payne moves in for the cover but Sebasstian Dyke comes out of nowhere, out of fucking no where and almost kills Payne with a Clothesline from Hell or whatever closeted homosexual hell hole Sebasstian Dyke crawled out of.

Dyke quickly moves to close out his opponent by pulling Payne up to his feet and then giving him The Last Ride. A powerful powerbomb with hip thrust upon completing and then he pins Payne.



ONE!




TWO!




THREE!

Hunter Payne has been eliminated

Sebasstian Dyke looks around and sees that the only two competitors left are himself and his new leader Ghost Tank so Dyke does the only thing he can....


What the fuck is he doing?


Sebasstian Dyke promptly lays himself down in the center of the ring and with his left hand reaches out and pulls Ghost Tank ontop of himself.


Well it looks like he's taking a dive to me but I'm half drunk!


MAKE THE COUNT REF!!!


The ref looks on confused but does as he's asked.


And make it snappy I got places to be.


ONE!
TWO!
THREE!

Winner - Ghost Tank

BOMBSHELL CHAMPIONSHIP NYX NEPHTYTHS - vs - JESSALYN HART - vs - ISABEL MERCIER Triple Threat!

The following match is a triple threat match and is for the XWF Bombshell Title! Introducing first, Isabel Mercier!

She walks to the ring with a derranged stare on her face.



And her opponent, from Cincinnati, Ohio, Jessalyn Hart!

The words NEVER...BE...SILENT!!! appear on the screen as the song starts. Lights go out Stobe lights at the top of the ramp illuminate the silhouette of Jessalyn. The lights come on to her facing the facing the ring. She runs down the ramp, slides into the ring. Climbs the turnbuckle with arms stretched out.

Just then the arena goes dark.



The arena darkens, momentarily before taking on a purple, radiant hue. Lavender mist, seeps and seethes along the floor, while amethyst and indigo fireworks erupt in a magnificent display and Nyx Nephthys, emerges. Greeted by hoards of screaming fans, she shows little emotion as she walks to the ring, climbs the steel steps and enters the squared circle. Where she walks to the center of the ring, whispering something softly to herself as she raises her left hand, high into the air. Suddenly, a bright blast of lilac energy is pulled down into Nyx's raised hand and then, quickly blinds the entire arena in an epic flash. Dispersing as swiftly as it was created, it is revealed that everything has returned to normal and Nyx has taken her position within the ring, where she awaits the fight to begin.

DING DING DING

All three ladies circle each other as the crowd roars. Jessalyn and Isabel look at each other, both grin, and then they charge the Bombshell Champ. Isabel and Hart push Nyx into the corner and go to work on her with slaps and chops. They whip Nyx into the other corner an Mercier runs with a splash. She collides with Nyx, who stumbles out of the corner and Jessalyn hits her with an arm drag take down. The two look at each other and smile again.

Teamwork here in the early going by the two challengers. Lets see how long it lasts.

They're women, they inherently hate each other. All of them.

Hart picks up Nyx by the hair, but the champ fires a few shots to the mid section. Mercier comes in however and kicks Nyx in the midsection and the two lock the champ in.......Double Suplex! Jessalyn grins and throws her arm up. When she turns around, however, Mercier hits her with a boot to the face. Covers


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Jessalyn kicks out, surprised. More surprised at the sudden attack then dazed, but doesn't have much time to process as Mercier picks her up by the hair and whips her into the corner. Nyx is back up now, however and she grabs Mercier by the hair. Turning her around, he kicks Isabel in the gut and hits a big DDT. The champ turns her attention towards Jessalyn, who explodes out of the corner and the two meet in the middle of the ring, exchanging punches. Jessalyn, the bigger of the two women, gets the upper hand and grabs Nyx, tossing her back into the corner once again. Mercier is up again now and hits a standing drop kick on Jessalyn, stumbling her back into Nyx in the corner. Mercier runs for a flying forearm but Nyx shoves Jessalyn into her, the two collide in mid-air and Nyx in a burst of speed comes off the middle rope to take them both down with a flying double clothesline. Nyx rolls and jumps to her feet. She drop kicks Mercier and Jessalyn swings, she ducks and lifts her into a fall away slam.

The champ is looking dominant here! What a burst from the Bombshell Champ!

Well, I mean she is the champion, dead division or not.

Nyx picks up Jessalyn by the hair and throws her out of the ring over the ropes. Looking back at Mercier, who is getting up but slowly, Nyx decides to go for her own little Leap of Faith. Getting a running start she jumps, propelling over the ropes and crashing into Jessalyn, sending them both crashing into the barricade with a sickening thud and and "OOOOHHHH" from the DC crowd.

Wow. Only at Leap of Faith do you see this stuff! What action!

Mercier is up now, looking at the two women sprawled out on the apron below her. She grins and leans against the ropes. The ref begins counting.








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3





I think Isabel fails to realize here that a count out means the champion retains! What is she doing?!

You're trying to understand women.....first mistake

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Now mercier slides out of the ring and grabs Nyx, who is up but holding her back, and slides into the ring with her. She stands Nyx up. DDT

Cover.








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The champ gets a shoulder up. The manager/wrestler slaps the mat as she thought she stole one.

She picks Nyx up. Jessalyn is getting to her feet on the outside. Mercier kicks Nyx in the gut and goes for another DDT but the champ reverses.

Dark Sacrifice!!!!!!!

After the move, Nyx has it locked in!

Is Isabel gonna tap here?! She's in the middle of the ring!

Good, fuck her.

Jessalyn comes off the top rope. Nyx uses her keen senses and notices this, rolling off Mercier. Hart comes crashing onto an already downed Isabel Mercier. Mercier rolls up holding her mid section and a woozy Jessalyn gets to her knees. Myx comes off the ropes. Shining Wizard!


Cover!


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2












































3---Jessalyn kicks out.

Nyx grins, knowing now she can inflict more punishment. She picks up Jessalyn by the hair. Nyx says something to Hart, apparently scaring the daylights out of her because her eyes went wide, and Nyx went for the Serpentine Seduction.....

Mercier chops the knee. Nyx drops Jessalyn. Mercier goes for the leg again. Nyx goes to one knee. Mercier comes off the ropes for a running knee, Nyx ducks, the hits Jessalyn who is back standing. Jessalyn tumbles out of the ring. Mercier comes off the ropes the other way, Nyx goes for a dropkick but Mercier catches her.

In a flash, Nyx spins around..........

BLACK WIDOW SUBMISSION!

She calls this move Serpentine Seduction! Mercier has to tap here! Nyx is going to break her arm!

And tap she does. Nyx has a sick grin on her face as Mercier slaps her leg for the tapout. Finally, she lets go.

Here is your winner, and STILL XWF Bombshell Champion, Nyx Nephthys!

Winner and STILL Bombshell Champ:Nyx Nephthys

Dominating win for the champion who continues her rain of terror here!

Meh.

X-TREME CHAMPIONSHIP MADISON DYSON - vs - JENNY MYST Submission Match!

Jenny enters the arena when the Drums hit for the first time in her entrance music, Around the 20 second mark. She is usually taunting the fans or pretending to give high fives and the pulling away at the last moment with a sarcastic smirk and an eye roll.





Madison Dyson walks down to the ring with a blank stare on her face. She climbs into the ring and leans against the ropes awaiting the bell.


DING! DING! DING!

The referee calls for the bell and the two superstars in the ring waste no time in charging each other and locking up, Jenny Myst gaining the upper hand and irish whipping Madison across the canvas and into the ropes! Jenny tries to catch Madison with a kick on the rebound, but Dyson stops short and Myst kicks at nothing but air. Dyson shuffle steps forward and tries to knee Jenny in the gut but a quick roll to the side leaves her a safe distance. She smiles at Madison, and pauses to fix her hair as the crowd boos loudly.

These two are no strangers to each other, they've faced off plenty of times in the Bombshell division![/font]

[color=red]These two hate each other so I expect to see some fucking blood!

Dyson tries to take a swing at Jenny Myst, but Jenny's quick reflexes kick in and she leans out of the way just in time. Jenny ducks down and tries to grab Madison around the waist but Madison quickly slides around and behind Jenny, pushing her away and into the corner. Jenny turns around slowly, no longer smiling. Clearly frustrated that she can't take control in the early going of this match she charges forward swinging wildly when Madison reaches up and rakes her eyes! Jenny Myst stumbles backwards howling like a stuck pig and clutching at her face when Madison kicks her in the stomach and nails a swinging neck breaker! Myst bounces off the canvas and Madison rolls underneath the bottom rope and reaches underneath the ring skirt for a moment before producing a steel chair.

YES! WHOOP THAT TRICK!

Someone watched Hustle & Flow last night, huh?

Madison slides into the ring, stalking Myst as she tries to recover and regain her vision. Madison swings the chair down on Jenny Mysts leg, once... twice... three times a lady! Myst screams in pain as Madison drops the chair on the canvas and grabs Jennys ankle to lock in a sharpshooter! Jenny is trying to fight it off and finally kicks Madison across the jaw with her free foot! Jenny scrambles to her feet as quickly as her bashed leg will allow her too, but her thigh looks like it was beaten with a meat tenderizer after those chair shots. Madison reaches for the chair again, but Myst smashes her with a powerful dropkick!

It took everything she had to jump in the air there, that leg is fucked!

Madison stumbles back into the far corner and Myst tries to stand and give chase but her leg gives out underneath her! She can't walk, and Madison Dyson knows it! Madison scrambles across the mat on all fours, pounding at Jenny's injured leg with hammer fists as Jenny tries to fight her off! Madison grabs the leg, and she's going for a sharp shooter again! She gets closer to locking it in this time, and Myst is again fighting for her life as Madison steps over the injured leg and applies pressure! Myst grabs the bottom rope, but there's no rope break in an extreme rules match! Instead she uses the bottom rope to pull herself underneath to the apron, slipping her foot free from Dyson in the process! Myst rolls from the apron to the floor, collapsing in a heap as Madison tries to follow her out of the ring. As soon as she steps to the floor Myst lunges at her knees, taking her legs out and sending her toppling into the ring steps!

Dyson has been busted open on the edge of the steps!

Finally! Blood!

Myst attempts to capitalize by grabbing Madisons ankle and twisting her into a sharpshooter.

WHAT THE FUCK?! Why do they keep going for the same goddamned move?!

Have you looked at either of these ladies profiles on the XWF website? This is probably the only submission they know between them.

The referee rushes out of the ring and gets face to face with Madison Dyson, asking her repeatedly is she's willing to submit! Madison is adamant that she's not finished. Madison throws several right hands into the wounded thigh of Myst and slowly Jenny is forced to release the hold and protect herself. Madison grabs a fist full of Jenny's hair and slams Jenny's skull down into the ring steps, and Jenny Myst has been busted open as well! These two are bleeding everywhere and the fans are loving it! The referee backs away as the duo continue to brawl and Madison Dyson reaches under the ring skirt to produce a weapon of her own... she's got a trash can!

Finally someone puts Jenny Myst in a dumpster where she belongs.

Myst climbs slowly to her feet just as Dyson hurls the trash can at her with all her might and bounces it off of her dome! Jenny collapses to her knees and Dyson grabs her by the hair and back of the neck, hurling her into the steel ring post and then lifting her and rolling her underneath the bottom rope. Madison Dyson follows her, as does the referee, and Dyson retreats to the corner and begins to taunt Jenny Myst and urging her to stand up. Jenny tries to reach a vertical base, clinging to the ropes for balance. Madison sprints at her but Myst counters with a well-timed elbow! Madison looks to grab Myst by the neck but Jenny hits her with another forearm smash! Myst grabs Dyson, still limping on one side, and she's looking for "pink perfection"! Madison counters and kicks Myst in her bad leg, then essentially tackles her from the midsection and goes right bak to work on the leg.

A SHARPSHOOTER! How totally and completely original!

Madison finally gets a good grip on Jenny and begins to lock the submission in tighter than ever before. Jenny Myst begins to squirm, reaching a hand down inside the lip of her boot and producing a small handheld aerosol can of some sort!

Holy SHIT! Jenny Myst has her pepper spray!

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssSSSSSSSssssSSSSSSSsssssssssSSSSSSSSS!

Myst turns the can towards Madison Dyson and unleashes a cloud of pepper spray in her face! Madison screams in agony and releases the sharpshooter but Myst has a grip on Madisons ankle and uses it to trip Dyson up and drag her to the floor as she claws at her irritated eyes.

Myst has Madison in a heel hook! She's got a jiu jitsu submission locked in and she's tweaking Dysons leg from the ankle all the way up to the knee!

Dyson can't take much more!

The referee wades through a cloud of pepper spray to get to the two bombshells, and as he checks on Dyson... she taps!

She taps!

Winner - Jenny Myst

THE LEAP OF FAITH PETER GILMOUR - vs - ROBBIE BOURBON - vs - CHRIS CHAOS - vs - AZRAEL EREBUS - vs - ROBERT MAIN - vs - MICHEAL GRAVES - vs - FINN KUHN The Leap of Faith! Participants must fight their way up a ladder to a raised platform, then rappel across the arena to the X-Tron where a number of 24/7 Briefcases will be suspended from the ceiling! Leaping from the cord, they will grab a case on the way down (hopefully!) only ONE case contains the coveted 24/7 contract, while others will contain various other gifts from the XWF Staff. Gaining the 24/7 Contract will determine the winner!

Inside the ring Finn Kuhn squares off with Michael Graves and Peter Gilmour while the other four competitors square off outside the ring on the floor. Azrael Erebus finds himself facing Robbie Bourbon, hammering away at the former Universal Champion with right hands before irish whipping him into the ring post with a massive clang that elicits groan of empathy from the fans in the front row. Robert Main and Chris Chaos lock up near the announce table, each struggling to get to the ladder and make a play for the briefcases. Main gains the advantage and twists Chaos into a hammerlock before hurling him into the fan barricade.

Back in the ring Finn dodges a big boot from Peter Gilmour, quickly ducking underneath a hook from Michael Graves before taking him down with a russian leg sweep. Peter Gilmour tries to kick at Finn again, but Kuhn rolls out of the way and up to his feet before bouncing off the ring ropes and nailing Gilmour with a flying clothesline. Finn rolls to his feet again, looking at the downed Graves and Gilmour before pounding his chest and lifting his fist in the air in celebration. He rushes to the corner of the ring and climbs the turnbuckle to the top rope, turning to look at Peter and Michael laying within a foot of each other.

Oh God! He's not about to do what I think he's about to do is he?

TO THE SKIES!!!

Finn Kuhn launches himself into the air with an incredible frog splash that lands on Peter Gilmour and Michael Graves, the fans in the arena erupting as he does so. The fans break into a "Young Lion" chant as Kuhn rolls around on the mat in pain, clutching his chest after taking a pretty hard landing. He climbs slowly to his feet using the ring ropes for balance and looking to climb out to the apron and climb the ringside ladder to the platform in hopes of grabbing himself a briefcase. Before he can get through the ropes, Robert Main rushes the side of the ring and leaps up with a wild right hand that drills Finn square in the jaw! Finn falls backwards into the ring as Main slides under the ring rope and looks to take out the German star as Robbie Bourbon decks Azrael Erebus and slides into the ring from the opposite side.

Finn thought he was in good shape after he dispatched Graves and Gilmour, but Omega and Bourbon are a whole new set of problems!

Robert Main lifts Finn Kuhn to his feet and whips him across the ring at Bourbon who hits him with a powerful scoop slam that shakes the ring. Bourbon rolls away as Robert Main sprints across the mat and launches himself into the air for a flying elbow drop! Finn rolls to the side and Main crashes and burns on the canvas! Bourbon tries to grab Finn as he climbs to his feet, but Kuhn twists with an enziguri that may have knocked a molar loose! Graves is up on his feet and Finn shuffles forward with a super kick that sends him tripping backwards over a still downed Gilmour and into the opposite turnbuckle!

FINN KUHN IS WRECKING SHOP HERE!

Robert Main tries to grab at Finns ankle to trip him up but Finn sidesteps and smashes Omegas skull with a brutal soccer kick!

GOD DAMN! Robert Main HAS to be concussed after that!

Finn drops on top of Main looking to lock in an ankle lock but suddenly Azrael Erebus pops up outside the ring and sprints around the floor to the ladder near the announce tables. With nobody to stop him he tries to climb as quickly as possible and make a play for a briefcase! Suddenly Chris Chaos rolls to his feet as well and makes a break for the ladder just as Erebus reaches the top and pulls himself up to the path, scrambling on all fours across the dangling bridge trying not to fall over the side and into the ring below. Chaos reaches the top of the ladder quicker than Azrael did and runs across the path on his feet, easily catching Azrael and lifting them up to a vertical base.

Finn Kuhn sees what's happening above him and lets go of Robert Main, rolling away and underneath the bottom rope to make his way over to the ladder. Peter Gilmour slides out of the ring as well and Bourbon crawls over to Main, the two superstars using each other to climb to their feet. Slowly Michael Graves crawls over to join the two dazed veterans, pulling himself to his feet with their tights and shoulders as leverage points. Now alone in the ring, the trio look up just as Chris Chaos boots Azrael in the gut and drives an elbow into his spine. Azrael drops to all fours as Chaos grabs them by the head and hurls them off the path and into the ring where Erebus takes out Bourbon, Graves and Main with a massive impact!

"HOLY SHIT!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

The fans explode in wild applause as the four XWF veterans lay on the mat, possibly unconscious. Possibly with serious injuries. Gilmour and Kuhn throw shots at the base of the ladder as Chaos makes his way across the rest of the path to the platform looking up at the many dangling cases.

Chaos is alone underneath the cases!

Finn knees Gilmour and hits a picture perfect standing dropkick that sends Gilmour flying back into the ring steps. He pops to his feet with lightning speed and begins to climb the ladder two steps at a time, leaping from the top to the pathway over the ring with the nimbleness of a cat and sprinting across it towards an unsuspecting Chris Chaos! The crowd cheers alerting Chaos, and he turns just in time to eat a massive spear from Kuhn and skid across the platform to the far edge! They nearly topple over to the floor but the two men manage to slow their momentum and Finn immediately starts dragging Chaos back to the center of the platform. Gilmour is stirring at the base of the ladder and begins slowly climbing to the top. Finn lifts Chaos to his feet, Chris clutching his ribs the entire time and unable to defend himself as Finn hooks his head and hurls him backwards across the platform with a snap suplex! Gilmour is struggling on the ladder but passes the halfway point as Finn leaps atop Chaos and pounds away at him with several punches and hammer fists!

Chaos is busted open, and Gilmour has reached the path! He's trying to get across to the platform!

Azrael Erebus is rolling out of the ring, as is Michael Graves! This is about to get real!

Robbie Bourbon and Robert Omega are still down in the ring after being taken out from above by Azrael, but Azrael himself is back at the ladder and climbing as quickly as he can to reach the top! Peter Gilmour finally reaches the platform and tackles Finn off of Chaos. Gilmour pounds away at Finn as Azrael rushes across the path and Michael Graves begins to climb the ladder. Azrael reaches the platform and hits a flying crossbody on Chris Chaos just as the former Universal Champion gets back to his feet. Azrael and Chaos topple back into Finn Kuhn and Peter Gilmour! The four stars are all flailing wildly at each other now as Michael Graves sprints across the path towards the platform! Gilmour and Azrael stand up to meet Graves on arrival but a double clothesline from the XWF old schooler takes both of them out and nearly sends Azrael over the edge of the platform and crashing to the floor below! Azrael is desperately clutching the edge, trying not to take a tumble!

Finn Kuhn slips away from the group and tries to formulate a plan, but there are too many people around for him to have any room to move let alone to go for a briefcase! Finn Kuhn sees Azrael Erebus dangling at the edge of the platform and rushes over.

Finn is stomping on Azraels fingers... and... down goes Erebus!

In seemingly slow motion Azrael falls from the platform and plummets to the ring before for the second time, landing feet first in the ring but collapsing as his knees buckle on impact.

Say goodbye to your ACL, MCL, meniscus... say goodbye to all of it Azrael!

Finn turns and sees Michael Graves standing at the edge of the platform. Finn rushes and leaps into the air with a flying knee that Graves blocks, but it's still powerful enough to send Graves stumbling back to the path. Graves eats two hard right hands that spin him around... KNIFE IN THE BACK!!! Finn hits a knife in the back right on the edge of the path and the platform, and rolls Graves over the side!!!

SHIT! Finn just rolled Graves over the edge and sent him tumbling to the ring as well! He landed right on top of Robert Main and Robbie Bourbon!

Finn Kuhn is going to kill someone!

He turns around to see Chris Chaos and Peter Gilmour climbing to their feet. He lunges to tie up with Chaos, elbowing him in the wounded ribs before grabbing him. Gilmour senses an opening and sprints at the two of them, lowering his head and snorting like a fat, obnoxious, tiny-cocked boar when suddenly Finn releases Chaos and dives out of the way!

Peter Gilmour spears Chris Chaos off the edge of the platform! The two of them tumble over the edge!

Finn set that up perfectly, and he's alone on the platform with all the briefcases at his fingertips! Gilmour and Chaos crash and burn atop the pile of bodies in the ring!

Finn stands up on the very edge of the platform, looking up at the cases and leaping as high as he can!

...

...

...

HE FUCKING MISSED!!! The idiot had innumerable cases and he leapt for the one right on the goddamned edge!

FINN FALLS FROM THE PLATFORM! He flails like a crash dummy on his way to the floor... nice use of "innumerable" by the way.

Finn may fall like a crash dummy, but he lands like a human body. It's ugly.

Ouch. What a disappointment. The kid may as well have not even shown up.

... well...

Peter is now alone in the ring. He looks around, everyone else is preoccupied with each other or downed. He looks up at the X-tron where the man briefcases dangle and licks his chops as he runs to the outisde to the ladder. The crowd begins to chant for him as he quickly ascends the ladder and reaches the platform!

Ohhhhh!!! Peter's going for a leap!!!

This wouldn't be his first, Luca! Peter has been in this position before! Can he capitalize?!

Peter spits on his palms before grabbing the cable and takes a swing!! Camera's from the audience flash as Peter soars up the ramp and leaps!! The other competitors watch as Peter soars through the air, grabs a briefcase and falls to the ground!

He got one!!

Yes! But is it the one with the contract?

Peter checks for any broken limbs and struggles to get to his feet. He sees Robbie Bourbon and Micheal Graves approaching him, eying up the briefcase he just claimed, and snatches it off the ground! He holds it tight against his chest and yells out.....

"SUCK MY DICK!!! IT'S MINE!!!"

He flips off Micheal Graves and Robbie Bourbon and runs through the entrance-way and to the back.

Where are you going, Peter?!

It looks like he's a little protective of his briefcase...

But he doesn't even know what's in it!

Bourbon and Graves shrug and get back to their own business and fight down the ramp towards the platform.

Meanwhile, a camera man followed Peter backstage where he's still running through the halls with the case tightly in his grasp. As staff and other wrestlers walk by him he yells at them to "Get the fuck away!" and rushes past them as quick as possible. Peter runs into one of the restrooms and checks each stall before placing the briefcase on the sink. He takes a couple of deep breaths before opening it......

Well, here it is! The moment of truth Peter!

Drum roll!

Peter opens it and an orange/gold glow shines out (Pulp Fiction-style) and Peter gets a really confused look on his face.... Followed-by a wide-eye look of surprise as the giant head of a dick, twice the size of a boxing glove, pops out of the briefcase and plows Peter right in his face sending him flying back and crashing into the wall and a urinal. He looks up and sees none other than Doctor Louis D'Ville climbing out of the briefcase. Doc stands over Peter with a smile as he zips up his zipper and says....

Well! Hello, Peter!

What is Doc doing here?!

Sweet super dick punch revenge, Pip!!

Wow. Doc's been planning that since War Games.

Run Peter!

Peter, disgusted, unamused, piss-off, and a little confused struggles to his feet and goes after Doc! Doc laughs and dodges Peter's attack and throws him into the mirror above the sink! Peter goes crashes through it and somehow ends up back out on the stage by the ring after flying through a TV screen by the entrance!

Hey! Peter's back!

How did he get out here?!

Who knows when dealing with the good doctor.... Anyway, it looks like Peter will have to try again.... I guess that case was a dud.

For YOU maybe.


High atop the platform we see Chris Chaos and Robert Main going toe to toe with each other. Both men have traded the upper hand on more than one occasion with Chaos currently being the man bringing the pain. Towards the edge of the platform Peter Gilmour is reaching out for a case his fingertips just a few inches away from taking hold of one. Down below in the ring are a sea of bodies. Robbie Bourbon, Azrael Erebus, Micheal Graves and Finn Kuhn are all laid out in various contorted positions throughout the squared circle.

Chaos sees Gilmour reaching out for a case and starts to walk towards him by Robert Main reaches out and grabs hold of Chaos’s ankle. Chaos tries to break free but Main now has both hands around the ankle and he yanks Chaos down to the ground causing a loud thud. Main rolls over and quickly makes his way towards Gilmour who see’s him coming and sidesteps out of the way causing Main to fall forward and off the platform but at the last second he is able to grab hold of the edge of the platform with both hands.

Oh this doesn’t look good for Robert Main at all. If he falls it’s a long long way down with nothing but a few wooden tables too break his fall. Gilmour see’s this and with his big feet tries to stomp on Main’s hands in an effort to get him to release his grip. Out of the corner of his eye Gilmour sees that Chaos is now up and has his hands wrapped around one of the dozen’s of metal cases hanging from the rafters. Chaos yanks it down and Gilmour starts charging at Chaos.

Oh shit! There’s a bull loose in the China shop. Here comes Gilmour! Chaos sees Gilmour coming at him full speed and at the last second moves out of the way allowing Gilmour to charge past him. As Gilmour turns around he is blasted in the face by the very case Chaos just yanked down. But Chaos doesn’t stop with just one shot to the dome. He follows it up with a second and then a third. All three shots do little to stop Peter who has now gone into full mode. Gilmour shakes it off and grabs Chaos by the throat and plants him onto the platform with a sit out Powerbomb that rocks the platform!

Down below the other members of the match are pairing off. Robbie Bourbon and Finn Kuhn are trading blows while former Universal Champion Azrael Erebus squares off with Micheal Graves.

Main has pulled himself back up to the top of the platform and makes a beeline for the metal case that is sitting a few feat from Chaos and Gilmour. Main picks it up and just as he’s about to open it he’s damn near decapitated by a Gilmour clothesline. “Not on my watch bub! That’s my case!”


Point of order Chaos was the one to free that Chaos but whatever. Gilmour gonna Gilmour.


With Main down Gilmour attempts to open the case but instead is attacked from behind by Chaos. A reverse DDT by Chaos sees Gilmour down on the platform laid out next to Hart Champion Robert Main. Chaos reaches down and pulls the case up and using his thumbs releases both of the latches on the case. The top of the case springs open and Chaos finally see’s what’s inside.

Is it the 24/7 contract?


WHAT THE FUCK?


Chaos reaches into the case and pulls out it’s contents. A signed photo of XWF Referee John Bihl chatting with Jenny Myst prior to one of her recent matches. Under Bihl’s signature it reads “I’m keeping an eye on your girl for ya bro.”


Fuck this!


Chaos tosses the picture and the case to the ground in disgust. He looks upwards and see's another case a few feet from him and quickly reaches out for it only to be speared by Main will he's in full extension. Both men are down on the mat in a bit of pain but Chaos manages to get to his feet first. He grabs Main and tosses him right off the platform…



















OH














































MY


















































FUCKING











































GOD!!!





















Main falls a good hundred feet from the platform and crashes through a few wooden tables which do little to break his fall as his body bounces off the metal stage like a ragdoll.

Chaos looks down at Main who looks like he’s been broken into 100 different pieces with his limbs contorted in all kinds of directions. He smiles at the carnage he just caused while the four other competitors in the ring all stop in unison to see what the huge thud was about.

Micheal Graves see’s his former AX3 teammate down on the ground and he breaks off his attack on Azrael and rolls out of the ring to attend to his on and off again friend.

Azrael who was laying in the ring having just been taken apart by a flurry of fists from Micheal Graves takes the opportunity to roll out of the ring and start climbing the ladder towards the platform.

Finn Kuhn and Robbie Bourbon are continuing to rip each other apart inside the ring with Robbie currently having the upper hand thanks to a series of Robbie Bombs but even as he currently has the advantage his labored breathing shows that he too is pretty gassed from this intense match.

Azrael has ascended to the top of the latter and is now slowly making his way down the long path towards the platform across from him.

Peter is slowly getting to his feet. Chaos sees this and walks over to Gilmour. He puts his arm on Gilmour’s shoulder and motions towards Azrael who is slowly closing the gap between them. Gilmour takes off towards Azrael expecting Chaos to be with him but instead Chaos does an about face and walks towards the bank of cases hanging from the ceiling. He reaches up and grabs not one, not two but three different cases and quickly starts opening them while Azrael is still a bit of a ways away and Gilmour’s back is to them.

Three cases, three chances for Chaos to walk out of here with the ultimate prize. A 24/7 contract.

Chaos quickly opens the first case…it’s 4 frozen shit filled condoms with a note attached.


“NEED DAT PUSS!!! YEAS!!! NEED DAT PUSS!!!


MOTHER FUCKER!!

It seems in Chris’s anger he gives up the slight advantage he had because now both Azrael and Gilmour know what he is upto. The latter of which seems pretty pissed that he was fooled into going after Erebus when he could have been going for briefcases.

Chaos hurries to open up another case and just as he opens it Gilmour inadvertently kicks it off the platform where it falls to the floor about 50 feet from Robert Main and Micheal Graves.

Chaos is on his stomach atop the platform his arm outstretched as he looks down at the case below him. Chaos rolls over and looks up at Gilmour…You fat fuck! Look what you did!

Suck my dick!!!!

Gilmour goes into the red. He lifts Chaos up by his throat but just as he does he takes a low blow from Azrael who had snuck up behind both men, his presence obscured by Peter’s ample girth. Gilmour goes down in a heap. Azrael reaches out towards Chaos and the two lock up. Azrael tries to get the upper hand by placing his right hand behind Chaos neck but Chaos responds with a knee to the mid section and then an Equalizer!!! A modified F5 – Tilt A Whirl DDT that puts Azrael on the platform seeing stars.

Chaos get’s back up and starts walking towards the last case that he pulled down which is still resting at the edge of the platform where he left it.









WHAT THE HELL?









































Suddenly…












Rising from the ashes like a Phoenix or a giant homosexual is Sebasstian Dyke, sitting on the lap of Bilbo Blumpkinz. The two of them are rising upto the platform in some type of rocket fueled wheel chair!!!

Dyke leaps out of Bilbo’s lap like a swan diving into the water and he tackles Chaos.


He sweety I wanted to pass a message along from my big dick daddy Ghost Tank! He says and I quote…”Go fuck yourself!”

“Oh and also, tell you’re bottom bitch that anytime she wants to lay ontop of me to try and take a belt that I don’t have is A-OK with me!”

Dyke kicks Chaos in the face which causes a tooth to go flying out of his mouth and land somewhere in the crowd.

Dyke jumps back into Bilbo’s lap. "Let's go home boo." Bilbo presses a button on his chair and the two disappear into the darkness of the arena rafters.


Well that was fucking weird.


Chaos shakes it off and surveys the scene. Gilmour is just getting to his feet while Azrael is still out thanks to the Equalizer Chaos gave him. Gilmour reaches out for Chaos but Chaos just delivers a boot to the mid section and Gilmour falls backwards onto the platform.

Chaos looks up at the ceiling and sees 4 cases directly above him. He stares at them for a moment before reaching out and grabbing the one in the center. He unlatches it and pulls it into his body while looking around to make sure no one else is around but before he can even open it Azrael Erebus shows up out of no where and hits Chaos with a missile drop kick that sends Chaos flying off the platform where he eventually lands in the crowd.


While Azrael looks down at the carnage below him he doesn't notice that both Michael Graves and Robert Main have made their way to the top of the platform. Graves reaches up for a case quickly and as Main turns around Graves cracks the case across his face busting his on again off again friend's face open.

Azrael looks around to see the carnage all around him. Main is scrawling across the scaffolding, head split open. Chaos is flat on his back down below. Gilmour and Robbie and trading fat guy punches and Finn Kuhn is curled up, holding his knees and crying like Ryan was in Saving Private Ryan during the final battle scene. Graves was opening a case in front of him, but it had a dildo in it with a picture of Bilbo's face. Graves threw the case down in disgust and turned around into a kick from Erebus. Graves hits the deck and Erebus steps over him, a string of cases in his sights. As he walks towards the cases, Chaos grabs his leg. He kicks off his hand. Reaching for the case, he notices Peter Gilmour, who seems to have broken off from Bourbon, stand in front of him with his arms up. Peter yells "NO!" at him and stands in a way that shows Erebus that he cannot, and will not, pass. Erebus grins at him and shakes his head with a "really?"

Peter pointed to the cases, and said they are his. Erebus laughs, then halls off and kicks peter in the dick. Like, square in the dick and balls. Peter groans and falls. Erebus spits on him and goes to step over when suddenly Bourbon steps in his way. He shakes his head like "this again?" Bourbon points behind him. The rest of the competitors in the match now surrounded Az. He was completely surrounded. He did a quick rotation and they all stared at him with evil intentions.

He stepped up to Bourbon and Bourbon pointed to the case. Az smiled. BOOM. Dick kick. Right in the mommy-daddy button. Robbie's face contorts and he goes down. He turns and is face to face with Finn. Az rolls his eyes. DICK KICK. Finn cries like a bitch and falls off the scaffolding to the floor before. The circle is widening. He turns and is face to face with Graves. Graves, being old and wise, covers his dick with his hands. Az slaps him in the face. Graves brings a hand to his face and as soon as he does......

DICK KICK

Right in his 46 year old nuts. Graves drops to his knees and Az knees him in the face. He turns around and walks towards the case as Chaos and Main stare at him. He walks over and reaches for a case. Main grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around. The two are face to face, like the were a few weeks ago. Chaos sits back, watching these two, seemingly amused. Main dares Az to kick him in the dick. He even encourages him to do it, as if in a rage induced trance. He begins to scream at Az to do it. Erebus looks behind him to Chaos, clearly not trusting him, but Main grabs his face and pulls it towards him, yelling at him to look him in the eye. Az and Main stare at each other for a moment, the tension thick. Just then Az hauls off and kicks main.

DICK KICK.

Main bites his lip but tries to stay upright. A small tear wells up in his eye. Az punches Main, and he steps back. This is when Chaos strikes, spearing Main. As Main is flattened Chaos stands up and turns around. Az immediately kicks him in the nuts. Chaos goes down. Az steps over and walks by, as a case is lowered from the rafters. The alien's eyes go wide as he thinks this may be the winning case. He grabs it, and unlocks it right there.

What he found inside frustrated him.

It was pictures of him kicking each of the men in the match in the nuts. Clearly someone was watching. He ripped up the photos and grabbed another case. When he opened it there was a pair of old dirty sneakers. He grabbed a third case, and unlocked it. Inside it was a contract.

YES!

Az held it up in the air with his hands high........

But then he gets another look on his face....it was HIS contract, with a picture of a dick drawn on it. He yells and throws the case off the latter, going over to inflict more damage on the other men..

Graves slowly approaches Bourbon as the big man comes his way. Circling him in the center of the ring, Graves keeps a safe distance between the two. In return, Bourbon slowly turns in place, keeping his full attention aimed straight at Graves. Growing bored from waiting, Bourbon bursts forward, swinging for Graves with a right hook but misses as the smaller man hops back, using his quickness to get out of harms way. Firing back, Graves clocks Bourbon with a sucker punch to the back of the head. As if Graves didn’t even touch him, Bourbon stops in place and spins around to square him up, showing no signs whatsoever of even feeling the blow to the back of the head. Taking another swing for Graves, Bourbon miss again as Graves side steps him. Planting his foot into the ground, Graves aims for Bourbon’s head with a spinning heel kick, only to have his leg caught in mid-air as Bourbon turns back to face him. Pulling Graves in close, Bourbon then releases his leg and wraps him up before lifting him off his feet and driving him into the canvas with a belly to belly suplex, dropping all of his weight onto him and crushing him against the canvas.

”Graves just landed with a hard impact!”

”He’s a tough cookie Pip, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

Lifting Gilmour up from the mat, Chaos hits Gilmour with back to back rights before locking onto his wrist and whipping him to the ropes. As Gilmour comes back on the return, Chaos steps forward and goes for a clothesline but misses as Gilmour ducks underneath and continues running forward to the ropes ahead. Leaping forward, Gilmour plants both feet onto the middle rope before he springboards off and launches himself into the air. Spinning around, he flies towards Chaos and just as he turns around to face him, Gilmour knocks him off his feet with a flying clothesline. Hitting the mat, the sound of Chaos’s body colliding against it echoes throughout the arena like thunder.

”Peter Gilmour proving once and for all that he deserves to be in Empire!”

”It was just a clothesline…”

Robert Main kicks Finn Kuhn a few times in the ribs before leaping over him and darting to the ropes. Bouncing off and coming back on the return, Main leaps into the air and flips forward, landing across Kuhn’s body with a running senton. Rolling up to his feet in a fluid motion, Main turns back to face Kuhn, reaching down to and pulling him up from the canvas. With a left and then a right, Main rattles Kuhn’s brain with a quick one-two combo. He then pulls Kuhn’s head down to his side, applying a stiff side headlock. Stepping forward, he pulls Kuhn along for the ride before jumping even further and planting his face into the mat with a bulldog. Pushing himself up to one knee, Main looks down at Kuhn as he slowly rolls over to his back. Standing tall, Main rushes to the nearest corner, dipping through the ropes and stepping out onto the apron. Climbing the corner from the outside, he ascends to the top before standing above it all and overlooking the entire ring. With Kuhn still down on his back with no signs of getting up anytime soon, Main leaps from the top and soars through the air. As gravity begins to pull him down, Main preps himself before descending back to earth and hitting Kuhn with a diving headbutt, slamming his head against Kuhn’s!

Robbie Bourbon charges across the ring, but rather than clobber the duo of Peter Gilmour and Micheal Graves with two massive meat clotheslines, he hops up over the ropes and canters to the ladder outside the ring, shimmying up gingerly like the thin kid in gym class!



“He is seriously hustling his buns to get to the top platform there Luca!”



“That’s a lot of man to be moving that quickly! The hero the people truly deserve! Also, thots and prayers for Tekashi 6ix9ine.”



“Who?”



“LOL lame ass.”



Bourbon is already at the top of the platform before anyone else even realizes it and he grabs a hold of the zipline, rocketing through the air to where the cluster of briefcases is! He executes a delicate, elegant triple lutz in midair upon letting go of the handles, and hugs a case close to his chest as he plummets down to the safety cushion below!



“Robbie could have already won this thing Luca!”



“Thank you based Bourbon, I am tripping balls and need to get home.”



Below the X-Tron, Bourbon grins wide and looks back at the melee going on in the ring where all the other competitors are still trading blows. He opens his case!






“What the crap? That’s Mini Morbid! He was inside that briefcase and has leapt out, and now is hugging Robbie’s leg like a toddler!”



Mini Morbid wraps his stubby arms and legs around Bourbon’s beefy calf, his grip impressively strong as Robbie can’t seem to scrape him off.



“NO PERRO! YOU OWN ME NOW! I AM YOUR FAMILIAR!”



“Is that true Luca? Did Vinnie Lane actually give another human being away as a prize in this match? Is that even legal?”



“This shit’s wild, man.”



Eventually, Bourbon relents and rushes back down to ringside with Mini still clutching onto his leg. Robbie nears the ladder once more but from inside the ring, Micheal Graves bounces off the far ropes and charges across, flying over the top in a somewhat clumsy tope suicida! Graves crashes into Bourbon, who spills backward and nearly crushes poor Mini Morbid under his buff girth.



Graves gets back to his feet slowly, giving Bourbon time to recover as well. The two men trade overhead haymakers with Graves eventually nailing Robbie with a shot to the jaw that stuns the big man. Robbie stumbles, but as Graves steps in to press his advantage Robbie shoves him backward hard in desperation, sending Graves into the ring post by the back of his skull! Graves’ bell is rung and he clutches the back of his sick as fuck skull mask, clearly dazed.



Thinking quick, Robbie grabs Mini Morbid from off of his lower leg and throws him at Graves!



“AARRRRIIIBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!”



Mini screams as he hits Graves right in the face! He stays put, digging his hands and feet into Graves’ head and pumping his pelvis back and forth like a dog humping a table leg!



“Oh, this... this is unfortunate Luca. Can they take the cameras off of this?”



“Hell naw! I bet tomorrow a bunch of even smaller Morbids pop out of Graves’ chest!”



With Graves dispatched, Robbie once again heads for the ladder and scales to the top in short order. Right as he nears the top, Azrael Erebus springboards off of the top rope right onto the halfway point of the ladder! Erebus skitters up the ladder at impressive speed, nearly catching Bourbon by the heels as he clambers onto the platform!



Robbie gets up to the platform and waits for Erebus, who climbs up and is caught immediately by Robbie around his head! Robbie wastes no time pulling Erebus up... and dropping him with a Cactus Piledriver right on the platform!



“There’s no padding up there Luca! He could give Azrael Erebus premature CTE with a move like that!”



“Man, Az is an alien, I don’t even know if he keeps his brain in there anyway.”



Azrael slops over, limp. Robbie charges for the edge of the platform and grabs the zip line in a running leap. He’s down to the cases in a flash and dives off, ripping one of the briefcases from its suspension cord and falling down to the mats below once again, but he struggles to open the briefcase once he sits up.



“Robbie seems to be having some trouble getting his case open, Luca!”



“I might have super glued a few of them shut before the show. MIGHT have.”



“Luca!”



Robbie keeps tearing at the briefcase, ripping his fingernails apart as he tries to pry open the mighty haliburton. Just when it looks as though he might get it to open, Azrael flies down onto him from above!



“Azrael didn’t even bother grabbing a case Luca! He just rode that zipline down to stop Robbie from opening his!”



“Smart move! I’m pretty sure the one I glued shut was the winner! Also, do you wanna maybe huff some glue?”


“NO!”



“.”



Robbie is sent rolling off of the safety cushions and Azrael takes the case that Bourbon dropped, holding it up with a smile. Before Rob can regain his sense, Erebus yanks open the case...





“OH MY GOD THE CASE WAS FULL OF BEES! LUCA I AM DEATHLY ALLERGIC!”



“You might wanna leave, fam.”



Luca Arzegotti finishes putting on his beekeeper’s suit, plopping the mask over his head just as some of the massive swarm make their way over to the announce area. Pretty convenient that Luca had that suit over there. Pip Collins starts screaming and swatting at the bees but eventually collapses to the floor while his face swells.



“I’m gonna let him ride this out for a minute before hitting him with the epipen. As a prank.”



Back to the action, Azrael Erebus is being chased all around the ringside area by a swarm of angry Africanized honey bees. Bourbon has regained his senses and begun to head back for the ladder, but he’s met at its base by and enraged Peter Gilmour! Gilmour is in full GILLY MODE!!!!



Right up until Robbie grabs him in a waistlock and charges him spine first into the ring apron, that is! Gilmour screams in pain as Robbie rams him again and again, the small of his back taking a massive beating on the edge of the ring. Gilmour tries to retaliate by fish hooking his fingers into Robbie’s mouth and ear, but two can play that game and Bourbon returns the favor, jamming his much thicker fingers into Gilmour’s nostril and eye socket.



As the two men continue to try and rip each other’s faces off like Nic Cage and John Travolta, Chris Chaos sees them and decided to go for a somersault plancha onto them both! But no! Robbie sees him coming and catches him, using Chaos’ own momentum to send him into a high angle gorilla slam into the ladder! Chaos’ body rattles the metal runs and he slides down a few before getting his ankle caught between two of them, leaving him hanging upside down in a tree of woe!



Robbie looks at Chaos, looks at Gilly, looks back at Chaos, and smiles. He grabs the back of Gilmour’s head and slams his face right into the face of Chris Chaos!



“NOW KISSSSSSSSS!”



The impact of the face first forced headbutt looses Chaos from the steel ladder and sends him collapsing to the concrete floor. Gilly rages out because his lips touched another man’s, and he screams to everyone who will listen that he ain’t no god damn sissy. Gilmour turns around and catches a stiff right to the jaw from Robbie Bourbon, staggering him.



Bourbon then begins his ascent once more, climbing the ladder a bit slower than before. As he reaches about the halfway mark, Finn Kuhn appears on the ring apron and leaps onto Bourbon’s back, wrapping an arm under Bourbon’s chin and trying to choke him out! Bourbon fights the fatigue and continues to climb, but the Young Lion’s sleeper hold is clearly slowing him.



Below, Chris Chaos starts to climb as well, reaching up and grabbing Bourbon by one of his boots! Bourbon thrusts his foot downward violently, sending Chaos crashing from off of the ladder into Gilmour, the two of them tumbling into a pile next to Graves, who apparently is still getting his face humped.



“Oh man... is that still happening? OH SHIT!”



Luca remembers the epi pen, jamming it into Pip Collins’ chest just as the diminutive announcer starts to take on a purple hue.



“GAAASSSPPPP!!!!”



“Nice of you to join us Pip! Check out this action!”



“I COULD HAVE DIED YOU IMBECILE!”



“But you didn’t.”



Bourbon is about three quarters of the way up the ladder when his body slumps forward, and Kuhn scampers up his back to reach the platform first. But wait! Robbie isn’t out! He reaches up and grabs Kuhn by the scruff of his neck like a puppy! Bourbon slams Kuhn’s face into the top rung of the ladder! And again! And a third time! Kuhn goes limp, and Bourbon lifts him high over his head with a military press, doing a few reps to show off his trapezius muscles!



Then he looks down.



“Oh no... Robbie don’t!”



“Shut it, Pip! This is natural selection at work! If Finn is really a part of the master race, he’ll survive!”



“It’s a twenty foot drop!”



“YOU SHUT UP AND LET THIS HAPPEN COLLINS.”



At the top of the ladder, Robbie stands holding Kuhn over his head like a rag doll. He turns tentatively, fighting to keep his footing on the narrow rung of the ladder, and then winks to a cambot floating nearby to record the action close up.



“I didn’t even realize we still had those.”



Robbie shrugs and tosses Finn Kuhn from the top of the ladder! Down below, Gilmour and Chaos stagger underneath of him, but rather than being there to break Kuhn’s fall, they both dive out of the way at the last second and Finn crashes hard into the thinly matted cement floor of the arena, making a sound like someone dropped a raw porterhouse steak onto the kitchen floor.



“Do you think he died?!?”



Pip Collins vomits into a barf bag behind the announce booth.



Up top once again, Robbie begins to walk across the platform towards the zipline... but the bees are still out! They start flying around him, stinging him on his face and neck! Robbie tries to wave them away, swinging his arms madly, but they overwhelm him and drive him to the edge of the platform.



“Oh no...”



Robbie swipes his arms again, roaring in anger and pain, the flesh of his head and torso beginning to swell from dozens of bee stings. Finally, he makes one last desperate swing, but loses his footing! Robbie Bourbon falls from the top of the platform all the way down into a setup of editing equipment down below! Tables shatter into splinters and sparks fly as emergency personnel rush to Bourbon’s aid!



“Those bees are a menace, Luca!”



“Oh, no... it wasn’t the bees. It was beauty killed the beast.”



Sensing his new owner in distress, Mini Morbid releases Micheal Graves from his seductive dance and runs over to the fallen Bourbon in tears.



“NOOOOO! SUP FROM MY ENCHANTED BLOOD AND BE HEALED!!!!”



Mini Morbid then slices a lines across his forearm (across the river, not down the stream) and squeezes a few drops of blood into the open, unconscious mouth of Robbie Bourbon... and Bourbon leaps to his feet!





“It’s a miracle, Collins!!!!”

Robert Main has the upper hand against Chaos outside of the ring. Chaos is on all fours trying to crawl away from Main, but Main is stalking him, steel chair in hand. Chaos grabs the barricade and tries to pull himself to his feet, but Main crashes the chair across his back, bring him back to the floor.

Inside of the ring Peter Gilmour and Finn Kuhn are double teaming Robbie Bourbon, but still having trouble getting him off of his feet.

And clear on the other side of the ring opposite of Graves and Azrael are trading shots back and forth with no clear winner.

”They’re fighting all around the ring Luca!”

Gilmour and Finn hits the ropes and run at Bourbon. Bourbon steps in with a massive double clothesline and sends both men down to their backs. Gilly has the wherewithal to roll out of the ring after the impact, leaving Finn to feel the wrath of Robbie on his own. Robbie grabs a fist full of Finns hair and forcefully yanks him up to his feet. Finn throws a limp punch in an effort to fight back, but Bourbon just laughs it off as he continues to clinch onto Finns hair. Finn throws another punch, this one with a little more umph behind it, it jars Robbie, but doesn’t do any real damage, just pisses him off. Robbie jerks Finn's head down hard into a stiff knee. Blood sprays from his nose instantly on impact. Robbie then lifts him up high over his head and runs towards the ropes, hurling Finn over the top where he is sent crashing into Graves and Azrael leaving all three men in a heap of broken bodies!

Gilmour slides into the ring without Robbie noticing and races in for a sneak attack, but Robbie knows he’s coming by the bouncing of the ring under Peter’s fat guy running. Robbie turns just in time to scoop Peter up into the air and slam him back into the mat with a Robbiebomb! Peter bounces so high on impact that he actually manages to backflip and land on his stomach.

”Gilmour was just planted by Robbie Bourbon!”

Outside of the ring, Main has gained the upper hand against Chaos. He has him pinned against the barricade and is firing off punch after punch and Chaos is helpless to stop him.

Back inside of the ring, Robbie has Peter rolled to his back and is holding his legs up in the air. Peter is begging him off but Robbie is looking to the crowd for inspiration and the crowd says yes. Robbie lifts his large foot over Peter’s superdick and and smile as he looks to the crowd again. Peter is pleading audibly for Robbie to spare him, but the people are begging for Robbie to do it and who do you think Robbie is going to listen to, Peter Gilmour or The People? Robbie brings his foot down hard, so hard that he even leans into the stomp trying to use his weight to get that extra umph on the strike. Gilly begins flopping around the ring like a fish, holding his swollen aching balls as Robbie points and laughs.

”I’m calling Miley Cyrus to play at Robbie’s birthday!”

”Um, what, why?”

”Well it’s obvious the man is into wrecking balls!”

”Luca, are you feeling ok? That joke was bad, even for you.”

Robert Main slides into the ring and hits Robbie Bourbon in the back of the head with a flying forearm. Robbie stumbles as Main continues to land clubbing forearms across the back of his neck. Robert then goes to lift Robbie onto his shoulders, but Robbie fights out of it and throws a big right hand, Main ducks the punch and grabs Robbie from behind, driving him into the mat with a belly to back suplex. Main is quick to his feet, but so is Robbie. Robbie is off balance though as he tries to run in with a clothesline. Main dips out of the way and Robbie hits the ropes. On the rebound, Robert floors Robbie with a dropkick square to the chin. Robbie again springs to his feet, but he seems completely disoriented. Main slides over him again and tries to lit him up to his shoulders.



DEAD MAN'S HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Main seeing a clear opportunity to go after a case, slides to the outside, but no sooner than his feet touch the ground, Chris Chaos rocks him to the core with a spear!

”Chaos was just waiting for his opportunity to strike!”

”That’s what snakes in the grass do Pip!”

Chaos begins climbing the ladder. Graves runs up from behind and grabs the back of his tights, pulling him down. Chaos and Graves begin brawling back and forth. Chaos gains the upper hand with a kick to the midsection that doubles Graves over. He then follows that up with a DDT that lays Graves out cold. Chaos gets back to his feet and begins climbing the ladder again. Chaos is about two-thirds the way up the ladder as Robert Main runs up the ladder, quickly pursuing. Graves begins to move around as Main catches up to Chaos near the top. Chaos wildly kicks at Main landing a shot that causes him to almost lose his grip on the ladder. Chaos pulls himself up onto the platform as Main collects himself and continues climbing after him. Graves is up, and begins climbing himself. Main reaches the top, but Chaos is waiting on him. The two start exchanging punches as Graves continues up the ladder. Chaos gains the advantage as Main drops to a knee. Chaos grabs him by the hair and motions that he’s going to throw Main off of the platform to the floor below.

”He wouldn’t dare!”

”I dunno Pip, this is the guy who killed Jim Caedus we’re talking about!”

Chaos yanks Mains hair, dragging him to the edge of the platform. He points to the ground below, nodding his head as the crowd gets to their feet. Chaos rears back to toss Main over the edge when suddenly.

”GOOD LORD NO!”

Graves collides into Chaos with a spear out of nowhere, sending both men plummeting over the edge and through the announce table below.

”PIP ARE YOU OK!?!”

”I’m fine, which is more than I can say for these two!”

Medical staff rush to check on Chaos and Graves as Robert Main pulls himself up to his feet and looks on in disbelief.

”Main doesn’t know what to think here!”

”Well he challenged Graves to not be selfish, to help him get revenge on Chaos for Jim, and honestly, it looks like he got what he wanted.”

Bourbon pushes his way past the medical staff in order to get to the ladder. He begins to climb as Robert Main struggles with what to do next.

”Chaos is out of the picture, you might as well go for a case Robert!”

”Or hang around and deal with Robbie!”

Bourbon nears the top of the ladder. Main looks over to him, and then over to the zip cord. Bourbon reaches the top and begins marching towards Main. Robbie grabs Main and attempts to shove him off the platform but at the last minute Main grabs Robbie by both shoulders and both men come crashing to the floor below.

In the midst of all the chaos, both Chris and regular kinds, Peter Gilmour has improbably found himself alone at the top of the tall ladder leading to the ziplines! He looks down in disbelief, seeing that all of his competitors are either indisposed or distract, and he limps to the zip line handles...



Gilmour takes off, graceful as a peregrine falcon, flying across the top of the arena as the patriotic American crowd chants “GILLY! GILLY! GILLY!”



“Luca, Gilmour has a 50/50 shot of winning this thing right now, there are only two cases left hanging from the roof!”



“I hope my boy does the smart thing and grabs them both!”



Indeed, Gilmour lets go of the handles as he nears the cases, and grabs one in each hand! Unfortunately, this spreads his weight too thin and neither of the cases come loose from their anchors, leaving Gilly to just dangle in midair, kicking his legs and screaming something mostly inaudible that starts with SUCK and ends with DICK.



Gilmour shakes the cases violently, trying to get them loose... and finally one of them does release! Gilmour is thrown off balance by the sudden drop of the case in his left hand, and his grip loosens on the other case! Gilly tries desperately to claw the other one free, but his fingers slide off of the metal case and he falls to the cushions below with just the one.



“Still got a 50% chance, Gilly! Open that case and if it isn’t the right one just run back up there while everyone else is still fucked up!”



Gilmour catches his breath and stands up, holding his case aloft for the packed house to see.



“GILLY! GILLY! GILLY!”



“This crowd is electric right now! They are BEGGING for Gilmour to have won this match!”



“Gillydagod!”



Finally, Gilmour looks poised to open his case and reveal its contents... but just as he does, Robert Main lands on top of him with the other case! Both men knock heads together and both briefcases fly off the cushion!



“Holy crap! Which case is which?”



Gilmour shakes off the head trauma quicker than most hominids would be able to, probably having a little bit of Samoan somewhere in his ancestry. Don’t tell him that though, he’s extremely racist!



Gilly slams a forearm into Main’s temple! Main responds with a vicious headbutt! Both men are having trouble keeping their footing on the inflatable crash pads, and when Main goes for a follow up strike he slips, letting Gilmour grab him and lift him, setting him up for.... THE INFECTION!!!!!



“HE DID IT!!”



Gilmour lands the swinging reverse STO from atop the crash pads and down to the floor, both men absorbing a great deal of punishment from hitting the concrete!



“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”



“This crowd can’t believe what it’s seeing! Peter Gilmour has finally risen to the occasion!”



Gilly crawls his way over to the two briefcases, looking back and forth between them. Robert Main begins to stir, so Gilmour grabs one and unlatches it...



“What if that’s not the one he grabbed though, Pip? How do we know it’s HIS case?”



Before Pip can answer, Gilmour opens the case and sees...





”Hello, my friend.”



“It's D'Ville!! AGAIN!!!! WHY!?!?! This isn’t fair to Gilmour! That’s got to be the wrong case!”



Doc reaches his arms out of the case and grabs Gilly around the neck... then drags him into the case with him! Both men disappear into the wide-open briefcase and a bright flash of light gleams from inside, followed by a puff of black smoke rising from it.



Robert Main inches closer and looks into the open case, holding it upside down and shaking it only to see nothing inside... except... somewhere down in the deep recesses of its black interior...








“Jesus! Dr. D’Ville dragged Gilmour into the Phantom Zone! Is this revenge for that uppercut that sent Doc out into space for months?”



“Dickercut.”



“What?”



“He used his super dick. It was a dickercut.”



“Robert Main! Robert Main has the final briefcase!”



Main grabs the haliburton left on the floor, and sees the other competitors all charging at him. Graves, Chaos, Erebus, Kuhn, and Bourbon all race towards the crash pads, but before they can reach him, he opens the briefcase!





“HE DID IT! ROBERT MAIN HAS THE 24/7 BRIEFCASE!”



“Gilly was ripped off! AGAIN!”

Winner of the Leap of Faith – ROBERT MAIN!

UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP THE ENGINEER - vs - PESTALANCE 2 out of 3 Falls! Pestalance won the right to face the Universal Champion by winning TWO battle royals in one night at Second Chance! Does he wave what it takes to beat The Engineer twice n one night???

The following contest is a Hell in a Cell, Best 2/3 Falls Match for the XWF Universal Championship!





As Black Jesus begins to play throughout the arena the lights slowly switch between white and red with the same slow cadence of the first sixteen second of the song. Once the beat hits the lights turn red and a white spotlight hits arena entrance as Pestalance makes his way to the ramp.

Introducing first, the challenger! From Plainfield, New Jersey... Weighing 265 pounds... Pestalance!

The spotlight follows Pest to the ring as he switches between rapping along with the song and talking smack into the camera. Once Pest enters the ring he heads to a corner and hops on his toes waiting for the match to begin.

The entire arena is washed in sterile white light as the following words are spoken through the sound system:

Is Dexter ill? Is Dexter ill? Is Dexter ill Is Dexter ill today?





On the main screen is a grainy image of an old television test screen. After the initial dialogue the sound slips into “Insect” by Die Warzau and his 'tron. The arena is still bathed in sterile white lights which are now accompanied by small red lights panning all over the arena that look like droplets of blood in contrasts with the white lights.

The Engineer steps to the top of the ramp, and he takes in the crowd, the ring, everything.

And his opponent.... Weighing 204 pounds... He is the XWF Universal Champion...... The Engineer!!!

Slowly an unsettling smile bisects his face, and some black tar like liquid will spill from his mouth. He'll run his sleeve over it before stalking to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope. He then picks himself up in a neutral corner,
remaining there with a dead eyed stare until the match begins.


The bell rings and the start of the Universal Title Main Event is underway! The challenger, Pestalance, going up against the long-reigning champion, Engineer!

I've been looking forward to this match for months, Pip. I think if anyone has had the right momentum to knock off the champ, it's Pest!

Pestalance turns around in the corner and looks up and down at the sides of the cell. Engy, about fifty pounds lighter, sizes up the challenger from across the ring. The two circle the ring and meet in the middle with a quick tie-up. Pest shows off his strength advantage and shoves the Universal Champion off and across the ring on his back. Engy rolls through back to his feet and charges after Pestalance! He leaps in the air and lands a stiff donkey kick square to Pestalance's chest sending him bouncing off the turnbuckle in the corner!

The Engineer has proven time and time again that size doesn't matter when facing him in the ring! He has found ways to win when size and strength hasn't been in his favor.

You gotta be smart, Pipper. Engy knows what it takes to be the Universal Champion! This ain't his first rodeo!

Pestalance stays on his feet after hitting hard in the corner. He the champ a sly smile and slowly circles the ring again. Engy's icey glare stays intact as he follows Pestalance's every move.

Now, keep in mind, fans, that this is a best two-out-of-three falls contest as well as being inside the Hell in a Cell!

I think that really stacks the odds against Pestalance, Pip. It's been impossible for anyone to get the best of Engy since he's won the Universal Title. How will Pest get him twice in one night?!

The two move in again and Pestalance catches Engy with a swift kick to the midsection. He grabs Engy by the head and quickly slings him over his back with a snap suplex. Engy bounces on the flat of his back a couple of times from the impact and winces from the blow. Pest jumps to his feet and drops a big leg down across Engy's chest. He hooks the leg!

Pestalance looking to get a quick fall!

One!


Two!!



Kickout by the champ!

That was some real wishful thinkin' there.

Maybe so, but an opportunity wasted is an opportunity lost, Luca....

Pest can focus on winning all he wants, but he's not going to get anywhere unless he beats the living shit out of Engy first. Just sayin'.

Pestalance backs off after Engy kicks out and rolls back to his feet. Engy remains slow and calculating while Pestalance moves around a bit quicker trying to keep a good angle. Engy swoops in but gets caught again with a swift kick from Pestalance. This time, it was across the face. Engy hits the mat hard, but springs right back up to his feet. Pestalance changes his stance and shoves Engy into the corner and lays a few combinations of punches, knees, and elbows to him. Engy slowly sinks down into the corner as he takes each blow to the fullest.

Now, we're talking.

Pestalance backs off from the corner, circles around the ring, and charges back! He slides and stomps Engy square in the chest! Engy leans to his side, dazed and confused, and Pestalance grabs him by his feet and drags him towards the center of the ring! He drops Engy's legs and walks over to his head, picks him up, and throws him over the top rope to the outside of the ring!

Surrounded by this cell, Pestalance decides to take this fight to the outside of the ring!

Engy misses the apron and falls straight to the floor. Pestalance is not far behind him as he takes the ring steps down to him. He picks the champ up from the ground and sets him up for a powerbomb!

Oh, man... This could sting!

He lifts Engy up.... but Engy starts beating on Pestalance's face which makes him stumble backwards with Engy on his shoulders..... Engy grabs the the side of the cell and holds on! Pest tries and tries to slam Engy down but Engy's grip is too tight! Engy then climbs off of Pest's shoulders and kicks him on the side of his head on his way up!

Where is HE going?

I dunno, Pip. There's really nowhere to go up there but......

Pest looks up right as Engy leaps off the side of the cell from ten to fifteen feet in the air. He grabs Pestalance by the head on his way down and slams it on the ring steps!

Down...

Engy springs back up to his feet and stays on Pestalance. He pulls the challenger to his feet and rolls him under the bottom rope. Pest rolls towards the center of the ring and manages to get up to his knees. Engy is on top of him now and slings him into the corner, following close behind him, and hitting him with a leaping splash right as he turns! Pest goes to fall foward, but Engy picks him up and places him in the Tree of Woe! He lands a couple of kicks to Pestalance's face before sprinting to the opposite corner, then back, and hitting a drop kick to Pest's face and chest! He gets up and repeats! Again! And again! He goes for a forth, but Pestalance finally manages to either pull his legs from the top rope or just crumble down to the mat. Engy grabs Pest by an ankle and spins him out towards the center of the ring before ascending to the top rope!

Oh shit, the champs is looking for something big here!

Could this be....?

Fuck You, Eat Shit!

The Engineer jumps from the top rope and lands a double-foot stomp on Pestalance's skull! Pest bounces around a few times before resting in the middle of the ring, staring up at the lights. Engy slithers over and hooks the leg for what could be the first fall! The referee was already in position!

One!!







Two!!!!









Thrr..... KICKOUT!

Wow! Pestalance showing a champion's resiliancy, for sure!

We're going to be here all night, Pip.

Engy looks down at Pestalance in minor-disbelief. Pest shows early-life, but is slow crawling to the ropes. Engy takes his time getting to his feet, as he, again, appears to be very calculating of his next move.

Pestalance reaches out for the bottom rope, but Engy is right there to kick him off. He grabs the challenger around the head and lifts him to his feet. Engy Irish-whips him across the ring, but Pest manages to hang-on and reverse it! Engy bounces off the ropes and ducks a clothesline from Pestalance, bounces again, and is caught in a sidewalk slam! Pest with a cover on the champ!

One!!



Two!!


KICKOUT BY ENGY!!

Neither man have give-in to a fall yet, Luca!

Pestalance grabs the champ and pulls him back to his feet. He throws an arm over his shoulder and easily tosses Engy over his head with a t-bone suplex! Engy bounces off the corner turnbuckle and lands on his head. Pestalance marches over and grabs Engy out of the corner, but Engy counters and pulls Pestalance face first into the turnbuckle. He quickly sweeps behind Pestalance and rolls him up from behind!


One!!!



Two!!







Three!!!!








No!! Pestalance reached out and had hold of the bottom rope! The referee didn't see it at first, but is now calling off the fall!

Close, but no cigar!

Pest rolls through his kick out and knees Engy in the face and knocking the Universal Champion out of the ring, once again. Pestalance rolls under the bottom rope behind him and pulls the ring curtain up to have a look under the ring. He slides out a steel chair and a long wooden table!

Uh oh, it looks like Pestalance wants to step this up a notch!

Nothing has worked for either of these men, thus far... Why not bring some foreign objects into the mix?

Pestalance slides the table into the ring and picks up one of the steel chairs. He measures up Engy who is using the steel steps as leverage to get to his feet. Pest swings the chair, but misses and hits the ring steps! Engy jumps onto the steps and leaps off! He grabs Pest around the head, spins around and nails a tornado DDT perfectly on the chair! Pestalance grabs his face in agony as the impact made an obvious dent on the chair. Engy grabs the one off the steps and tosses it over the top rope into the ring. He grabs Pestalance off the floor and goes to slide him under the bottom rope. Pestalance manages to put a boot up to stop him and hits the champ in the side of the face with an elbow! He kicks Engy in the gut.... Grabs him and powerbombs him into the side of the cell! The impact causes that panel of the cell to come unlatched and it flails open and nearly cuts the shit out of Engy in the process! Officials around the ring rush over to control the broken part of the cell and bring it to rest.

Oh no! The cell is busted open! These guys could go anywhere in the arena now!

They're not rabid wolves, Pip! No worries! The cell obviously couldn't contain a main event like this!!

Pestalance chases after the champ who is crawling away from the cell and up the ramp. He uses the barricade on the outside to get some footing, but not before Pestalance was behind him, kicking him back to the ground. Pest picks the champ up and throws him back towards the ring, but Engy reverses and sends Pestalance crashing back first against the apron. Engy rushes over and spears Pestalance, slamming him against the ring once more. Engy rolls under the bottom rope and grabs the table that Pestalance slid into the ring a little bit ago. He props it up against the corner and grabs the steel chair off the mat. Pestalance is back to his feet on the outside, but is still collecting a few marbles he lost from that spear. He looks up just as Engy swings the chair down from inside the ring and cracks him square in the face with it. Pest dizzily falls foward and face plants on the floor. Engy jumps out of the ring, grabs the challenger, and tosses him in under the bottom rope.

I think Pestalance is out....

Engy has Pestalance and looks to be setting him up for.... Delirium Tremens.....!!! He lifts Pestalance up and powerbombs him head-first through the table in the corner!!

Oh, good fucking night!

Engy with the cover!!


One!!







Two!!!







Three!!!





The bell rings signalling the first fall!

The first fall goes to... The Engineer!

The Engineer - 1 Pestalance - 0

Only one to go now for the champion to retain his title.

The official tells Engy to back off so the match can reset, but he shrugs off the orders from the referee and goes right back after Pestalance.

Engy wants this thing wrapped up, Pip.

It would appear so!

Engy drags Pestalance to the corner, kicking some debris from the broken table out of the way. He plants Pest in the corner and goes back over to retrieve the chair from the other side of the ring. He opens the chair and stands it up near the center of the ring. He marches over to the opposite corner, Pestalance is barely able to stand in his corner... Engy takes off running, leaps off the chair and is looking for a splash or punch... Something! But is caught mid-air with a Fuck 'Em Uppercut! Like a move from Street Fighter, Pestalance catches Engy right under his chin, sending the Universal Champion flying back from the punch! He lands on his back in the middle of the ring, Pest finds new life and stumbles over to the champ. He lifts him to his feet and Irish-whips him into the corner.... He follows-up quickly and picks Engy up onto the top turnbuckle.... He grabs the champ and hits the End onto the seat of the steel chair!! He covers Engy!!!

One!!!






Two!!!!







Three!!!!

He got him! Pestalance pinned the champion!

Wow, tied-up again, Pip!! This is anyone's match again!

The second fall goes to.... Pestalance!

The Engineer - 1 Pestalance - 1

Pestalance has a crazy look in his eye. He wants to finish this now! He does the same as Engy did between falls and didn't relieve the pressure. He moves around the official trying to keep order and throws Engy behind him with a German suplex! He grabs the champ again and hits another one!

Is Pestalance taking the champ to Suplex City?

Stop that.

Pestalance hits three consecutive German suplexes on Engy before the momentum of the last one sends Engy rolling backwards out of the ring. The official steps in front of Pestalance and scolds him, but Pest pays no attention and walks around him to get to the outside of the ring. Engy crawls and makes his way to the outside of the cell again, through the opening that was made with him being powerbombed. Pestalance slowly follows behind, obviously still feeling the effects of the head first powerbomb he succombed to just a few minutes ago and amazingly managed to fight back and get a pinfall.

Engy crawls over the barricade into the seating and makes his way through the crowd via security escort. Pestalance hops the barricade himself and chases down the champion. Engy walks to the opposite side of the cell, jumps on top of the barricade, then leaps onto the side of the cell and begins scaling the side of it! Pestalance watches as the champion climbs higher and higher towards the top. He shakes his head, looks around to the crowd who all cheer him on, and follows the champion up. Engy reaches the top and staggers across the top of the cell towards the middle to wait for the challenger to reach the top.

I don't think ANYthing good is going to come from this, Luca.

Maybe the end of the match?

Maybe the end of these two mens' careers. They're putting it all on the line tonight to walk away the XWF Universal Champion.

Pestalance reaches the top and staggers across the top of the cell over to Engy. They meet in the middle and Pest opens up with some decent MMA style combinations for the lack of footing and weak ground atop the cell. Engy manages to block a couple of blows, but succombs to a kick to the side of the leg followed by a thick haymaker! Pestalance grabs Engy and looks ready to suplex him across the top.... But Engy fights back with a couple of elbows that weaken Pestalance's grip! Engy lifts Pestalance up on his shoulders.....

Oh my.. No...

Oh shit! Could it be?!

The weight of Engy holding Pestalance on his shoulders is barely sustained by the roof of the cell. Engy wastes little time before hitting the Katabasis on Pestalance! The roof of the cell doesn't hold and busts open sending both men crashing to the mat!

Katabasis through the top of the cell!! Oh my God! Both of these guys are dead!

Unreal!!! If they aren't, Pip, I'd be surprised! How fucking crazy are these two?!

Officials rush inside the ring to check on both men, but Engy waves them off... He still lies on his back, but looks across the ring and sees a motionless opponent lying on the mat as well.... He crawls.... Slowly..... Slowly....... Sllllooowwly over to Pest and throws an arm over his chest. The officials yell at him to get off, but the official of the match takes position and counts......


One!






Two!!!!









Three!!!


That's it! It's over! Engy has defended his Universal Championship once again!

The winner of the third and final fall and winner of the match..... STILL the XWF Universal Champion..... The Engineer!!!!!

Pestalance has been looking forward to this match since winning his opportunity at Second Chance.... Engy just keeps knocking 'em off when they come for him.

Yes, but Engy will now have to have eyes in the back of his head.... We now have a Mr. 24/7 walking around... And we all know that briefcase can be cashed in at ANY time....

Engy has been ready for everything else that has been thrown at him, Pip...

True that.

The winner and STILL XWF Universal Champion - The Engineer

 

 3x

FORMER, 1x AND LONGEST REIGNING (101 Days)

 

 3x

FORMER, 1x AND LONGEST REIGNING (101 Days)