It was lost long ago, but it's all cumming back to me now. Once upon a time, many moons ago, Unknown Soldier defeated Luca Arzegotti and claimed the Xtreme Championship prize for himself. His first reign as the Xtreme Champion where he absolutely obliterated Luca and made him look like a total bitch. In order to embarrass Luca even further, because let's be honest, he's the biggest douche bag to ever grace our prescience here in the XWF and needed to be taught a lesson. Unknown Soldier gave the title away to crimson dong. Shortly after Luca claimed he was going to defeat Unknown Soldier and take back his title and become the greatest Xtreme Champion to ever live. Well, we all know how that little promise of his came to fruition as Unknown Soldier still holds the Xtreme Championship for over five months straight, longest reigning champion and almost double the length of the previous record holder. While Luca's still some douche that shows up randomly whenever he feels like it to make stabs at Robbie Bourbon.

Your now greatest Xtreme Champion in history, did however a long time ago just simply let the shit filled condom eater pin him and take the title. It's all cumming back to me now, that was back when even Luca referred to himself as King of the Douchebags. It was gone with the wind, but it's all cumming back to me now! When crimson dong recently tried to pin Soldier not long ago, a flashback from many years ago trickled down his methamphetamine fueled memory. It brought him back to a long time ago when he let dong take the title and actually pin him. Making a mockery out of the Xtreme title at the time at the expense of humiliating Luca. Anyone who knows that guy can completely understand why it needed to be done. Friends don't let friends meme, !

Soldier swore that on that day when he let crimson dong take his title that he would return to bring honor and respect to the most Xtreme Championship that has always existed since day one of the existence of XWF. That day has come, but now the only problem is that Vinnie Lane wants to merge this prestigious championship with a title worthy of a man named Ghost Tank. Yup, that's right, the of death incarnate himself has no right tainting the blood of all those great Xtreme Champions of the past that spilled it on top of this title to hold it. Peter Gilmour, a fourteen time Xtreme Champion, Four-fucking-teen! Would be ashamed to know that now the title he 'claims' to be the King of, is now subjugated to the level of trash that is Ghost Tank. For shame Vinnie, for fucking shame! That is why Unknown Soldier and Luca Arzegotti have teamed up to once again make a mockery of Vinnie Lane and his bullshit ideas. Even if he is the XWF owner and can get away with it. We're certainly not going to let him walk away without exploiting his idiocy and making a complete circus show about it. That's the SATAN!izotti way!

Unknown Soldier returns after flying to the moon and back after Z tried to pin him just hours ago for the Xtreme Title. They were getting high in space so that they could avoid the nuclear warfare of awesomeness that they unleashed upon the world. Smoking Lua Dust in space and kicking out of his pin attempt, we find Soldier now landing back on earth. Civilization fallen and then rebuilt in a mere matter of 27 months exactly. 100% completely the same and miraculously in the exact same state of affairs as they had left it. Time flies when your having fun on Lua Dust.

Anyways, Soldier returns from his trip around the world in a space ship, by gracefully falling from the sky and landing in front of your face. In a room that stretches on and on forever with no ceilings or walls and is nothing but black air. Pulling himself up to his feet and regaining his balance he rises to a full stance and then brushes his shoulders off. He then raises his head completely forward to see standing opposite him his former rival and recently returning XWF superstar, Luca Arzegotti. Wearing an XWF official referee uniform he stares back with Soldier with a definitive shit eating smile on his face. The two standing opposite one another look like a pair of sophisticated ninjas ready to strike. It's sort of a really bad ass eerie moment like watching Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee stand opposite the other in that movie 'Way of the Dragon.'

"We meet again, SATAN!."

Unknown Soldier:

"Well, I just got done watching another Bearded War Pig promo along with the movies Saving Private Ryan, Full Metal Jacket, and Platoon and you know what I saw? The exact same story told over and over and over again. Seriously, it's the exact same set up of sequence of plot points that are essential in every glorified cliche war story. Show off all the sweet artillery that gets a rise out of military folks and gun waving hooligans like Alex Jones and Nate Higgers. Then, of course show the group of Soldier's drinking and getting all fucked up together in some type of male bonding scenario. The movies didn't have any gay nudity sex in them like War Pig's promo, but none the less those scenes existed. Then they sprinkle a bunch of story arcs setting up the emotional downfall of the inevitable that most the characters your about to see are going to fucking die as you work your way to the end of the movie!

But let's get back to the important thing here, and that is BWP dancing nude with a raging erection with his military pals in the rain while listening to horrible one hit wonder songs from the 90's, while high on drugs! You notice how he had to ask himself 'what does this mean'. Well guess what , if you even have to begin to slightly consider what it means, then your just a six pack and a sweet night of pillow talk with your staff sergeant away from being a full blown raging homo!

By the way, let's also talk about this name thing. Why the fuck is it all the sudden so damn significant to be 'bearded.' Seriously, what's the deal with this fad recently and what makes it so cool? If a woman really wanted to part a rug when she went to kiss a man, then wouldn't she just be a lesbian? You know who I blame it on, that fucking horrible awful television program on A&E with those guys that started the duck whistle business. Because ya know what I've come to realize about in life? Is that there are two kinds of people in this world. One of them is people who don't like Duck Dynasty. And the other is red neck white trash hillbilly that do like Duck Dynasty. Guess which category my opponent on this episode of Warfare falls into? Go on, just guess? Haha! Fuck you!

Some real tough army guy you are Mr. War Pig? Not engaging the enemy. You know, uh, ME. But rather focusing on attacking my girl friend and future president of the United States Mrs. Hillary fuckin' Clinton! You better get used to saying it with me, because after those debates I don't think there is any a shadow of a doubt that the prophecy of her presidency is forthcoming! Some big army stud you are, attacking a poor sick old woman like that. But don't worry about her, if she can handle insults from a childish clown like Donald Trump, then she can most definitely deal with whatever pathetic drivel you've got to throw at her.

Besides, you didn't really take much of a stab at her. She's evil man, yeah we get it and it's public knowledge to everyone by now I thought. People don't care they still are going to vote to for her anyways! 75 % of America is stupid, prime example being yourself Mr. Pig and the way you connect things logically by contradicting what your little spokesperson friend has to say. If you're going to let him speak for you while your all fucked up on drugs, then you should at least get your shit together! Because remember when you said....."

Bearded War Pig Said:
"I cleared Dillinger of his title, now I plan on holding it through our match, and then after it becomes unified and is renamed Undisputed X-treme Championship, then I will start to build it back up. You know give it a new and worthy story of its magnificence....."

Smut Said: “Woah! Who the hell said Bearded War Pig is ashamed? The man lost his first singles match, no big deal, it wasn’t a title match and the man has been busting his hump....".