Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

**Vincent Lane** · (08-07-2016)

Shade vs. Trenton York

Shade is on the offensive immediately, showing a new meaner streak since joining forces with Shane and the Blackest Hole.

Shade overpowers York from the second the bell rings and things quickl turn ugly as the action spills out of the ring.

Shade beats York bloody with a chair, and also uses his favorite weapon, Ace, the trusty baseball bat, leaving York a bloody mess in the ring.

Finally, Shade executes a Welcome To Death's Realm pedigree off of the top rope and pins York for the easy victory.

Kandi Washington vs. Greg Busdriver

Busdriver seems completely outclassed and never manages to mount any real offense as the newly crowned tag team champion Kandi Washington easily picks him apart with a great display of technical prowess.

Also, she kicks him in the nuts a lot.

Busdriver eventually collapses from copious ball damage and is caught with a Final Lick while on all fours, quickly getting pinned for the three.

Jakob Davis vs. Chris Chambers

Davis and Chambers seem reluctant to go at one another, but Jakob's father Tim is at ringside, egging on his son.

The two men end up locking up, but neither gets a clear advantage as both men are adept at mat wrestling and reversals.

At one point, Davis is caught in a chickenwing but manages to roll it into a pinning combination to escape. He attempts to go on the offensive, but he's caught with the High Life - Chris Chambers' high angle spinebuster.

Davis then rolls out of the ring in an effort to not be pinned, and his father berates him for not getting back into the fight quick enough.

As Davis and his father argue, Chambers climbs the ropes and leaps out of the ring... taking out Tim Davis!

Chambers and Davis then exchange a few words on the floor, and Chambers re-enters the ring, beckoning Jakob to follow... but Jakob has totally lost sight of the match.

Jakob Davis tends to his fallen father as the referee reaches a ten count, awarding the decision to Chambers who raises his arm in victory with a look of disappointment on his face.

Tush vs. Dr. D'Ville vs. Jerkbeast

Almost immediately, D'Ville charges the tiny Jerkbeast and punts him right out of the ring and into the timekeeper's area, where he crashes into the bell and is left out cold.

Tush and Doc trade violent exchanges in the center of the ring, but Tush can never seem to get an advantage. Doc just absorbs all of the damage with a slight grin, never seeming weakened or hurt by the blows.

Eventually, Tush gets caught with a forearm shot to his throat and collapses in the corner, allowing Doc to go to work on him with vicious kicks and punches. The Lounge Lizard is barely mobile by the time D'Ville nails him with the Trepanation headbutt.

D'Ville, however, doesn't go for the pin. Instead, he leaves the ring and retrives the tiny Jerkbeast, whose sleeping form Doc rocks in his arms like a baby... before dropping him in the ring with a Lobotomy!

Doc places one foot on the chest of the nearly dead demon thing.

1...

2...

Tush nails him from behind with the unofficial

Championship belt!

D'Ville is sent flying over the top rope and out of the ring, and an exhausted Tush collapses on top of Jerkbeast for a cover.

1...

2....

3!!!

Tush wins!

MAIN EVENT FOR THE FEDERWEIGHT TITLE

'YA BOI' Shaun Crowe vs. Unknown Soldier

A high flying spectacle ensues between the two aerial maestros. Soldier brings his bloodthirsty aggression into play early, opening up Crowe with numerous shots to the head and scalp.

Crowe battles back valiantly, gaining the upper hand numerous times but always getting caught off guard by a vicious assault from Soldier.

Crowe pulls off a desperation hurricanrana which sends Soldier flying through the ropes out of the ring, where he cracks his head open on the guard rail. Soldier is clearly off his game after this, and gets caught with a huge moonsault on the floor from a surging Crowe.

Soldier mounts a defense by catching Crowe in a wicked DDT on the concrete, then whipping YA BOI right into the ring steps. However, the concussion symptoms keep Soldier from moving at top speed and he soon finds himself caught with a series of snapping jabs that knock him backward.

Crowe hits a running STO and then rolls Soldier back into the ring, setting up for a slingshot, but when he launches himself over the rope Soldier meets him midair with a dropkick to the midsection, crumpling the challenger into a heap.

Soldier scales the ropes in anticipation of the Dark Star... but he stumbles on his way up, throwing off the timing. By the time he recovers, Crowe has gotten his bearings enough to dodge the move, and he gets one of his gaudy chains around his fist, driving it right into Soldier's jaw.

Soldier collapses to the mat, and Crowe looks as surprised as anyone else... he grabs him quickly and lands a swift Chriaq Driver! Soldier's eyes glazeover, and Crowe dives onto him for a pin!

1....

2.....................

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shaun Crowe has won the Federweight Title! He's pinned the most dominant competitor in the XWF right now!

Crowe grabs his belt and also tries to grab the X-Treme Title, but officials explain to him that it can't change hands in a shithole like Poughkeepsie.

The XWF Has a new Federweight Champion!!!!

Shaun Crowe · **08-07-2016, 11:02 AM**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YE MY DUDES!

Who da man?

Das right.

IT'S YA BOI!

Blue Gator · **08-07-2016, 11:22 AM**

"I'm not dead.

What a surprise."

Greg Busdriver · **08-07-2016, 12:22 PM**

Suppose it's a good thing I got no feeling in my nutsicles. On another note, I'd like to informally call out Mr. Jerkbeast. I am a huge fan. I just want to tell you how much I'd like to see you swallow a delicious fetus, of course covered in duck sauce. (I'm on a weird kitchen thing lately, don't ask, I've been watching Paula deen.)

(Also jerkbeast gave himself herpes)

Jerkbeast · **08-07-2016, 12:26 PM**

[font=Courier][color=#FF0000][b]WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT DUCK SAUCE ON A FUCKIN' FETUS? WHERE THE SHIT WOULD YOU EVEN GET DUCK SAUCE IN THIS DAY AND AGE? STOP TALKING LIKE A

]

Greg Busdriver · (08-07-2016)

(08-07-2016, 12:26 PM)Jerkbeast Said: [font=Courier][color=#FF0000][b]WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT DUCK SAUCE ON A FUCKIN' FETUS? WHERE THE SHIT WOULD YOU EVEN GET DUCK SAUCE IN THIS DAY AND AGE? STOP TALKING LIKE A ]

Excuse you kind sir, duck sauce is a very delectable thing, it adds to the overall fetus flavor, without overpowering it. To put it simply, THAT SHIT TASTES YUMMY!

Jerkbeast · **08-07-2016, 12:34 PM**

(08-07-2016, 12:29 PM)Greg Busdriver Said:
(08-07-2016, 12:26 PM)Jerkbeast Said: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT DUCK SAUCE ON A FUCKIN' FETUS? WHERE THE SHIT WOULD YOU EVEN GET DUCK SAUCE IN THIS DAY AND AGE? STOP TALKING LIKE A ]

Excuse you kind sir, duck sauce is a very delectable thing, it adds to the overall fetus flavor, without overpowering it. To put it simply, THAT SHIT TASTES YUMMY!

[font=Courier][color=#FF0000][b]WHERE THE SHIT DID YOU GET A FETUS? DID YOU STEAL FROM PLANNED PARENTHOOD OR SOME FUCKERY LIKE THAT?

Greg Busdriver · (08-07-2016)

Well, to be fair, it is highly unlikely that they are going to use it, so, what's the big deal dude?

Jerkbeast · **08-07-2016, 12:39 PM**

(08-07-2016, 12:36 PM)Greg Busdriver Said: Well, to be fair, it is highly unlikely that they are going to use it, so, what's the big deal dude?

AIN'T THAT CONSIDERED CANNIBALISM? WHY DON'T YOU JUST FUCKIN' BUY MEAT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?

Greg Busdriver · (08-07-2016)

Animal meat lacks a special trait, it lacks a.... Special
Taste. A taste that can only be supplied by infant meat.

Jerkbeast · **08-07-2016, 12:45 PM**

WHY DID YOU EVEN FUCKIN' EAT FETUS MEAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Greg Busdriver · (08-07-2016)

You know they are pretty delicious with some sweet infant rays, that stuff is the best fetus sauce, better than duck sauce.

Jerkbeast · **08-07-2016, 01:01 PM**

[color=#FF0000][font=Courier][b]STILL DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION, FUCKWIT! WHY DID YOU EAT A FETUS IN THE FIRST PLACE? ALSO, IT'S SWEET BABY RAYS, YOU

]

Greg Busdriver · (08-07-2016)

Well the sauce came first. I saw a sauce, made expressly for fetus's so I had to make the meal. That shits tasty dude.

Jerkbeast · **08-07-2016, 10:52 PM**

JUST BECAUSE IT HAS THE WORD BABY IN THE FUCKIN' TITLE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO PUT BABIES IN IT, SHIT-FOR-BRAINS!

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (08-08-2016)

Why couldn't you two put this effort into your matches?

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode House Show Results - 8/7/16
Author	Message