Scene: DisneyWorldLand, CaliFlorida
Time & Date: 4:20 PM / 3-20-2016
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What if there was a 51st state? No, really, a 51st state. I'm sure many people have wondered the exact same thing for years. There's really no place that sticks out as a 51st state contender, but perhaps Cuba could do the trick. I mean, they DO have a lot of tricks. As in whores.

But I digresss. ;)

Well, let's just say, for the sake of nonsensical storytelling, that there IS a 51st state. Called CaliFlorida. Don't ask me. And it's greatest attraction is, of course, DisneyWorldLand. Again-- Don't ask me. Not much is going to make sense in this unless you're a drugged out hippie like the guy in the above video. So there's that.

LIFE'S WHAT YOU MAKE IT!!! ^__^

....

Here's Nickey Mowse.



Here's Marilyn Manson dressed as Nickey Mowse.



Annnnd... here's some actual roleplay material instead of what you're probably expecting from this promo by now;

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Nickey: Come one, come all, sit on my lap and tell me what you want for your birthday! Just make sure what you want is a $10 gift card to Dick's Sporting Goods!!!

And here's Kid Kool wth a big ol' smile, ready to sit on Nickey's rat lap and tell the dumb bastard what HE wants;



Nickey: Hi there little boy, you sure are a lot heavier than the other kids running around here.

KK: Hey, I may be a "Kid" but I'm DAMNED sure not a little boy!! I'm a full grown man, I'm just too cheap to buy my own sporting goods! Can you even see through that thing?!

Nickey: No.

KK: ...Oh. Well, seeing as it's the only fucking thing you have, I'll take the damn gift card, you nitwit.

Kid: YEAH, YA NIMROD!!!

KK: Hey, it's Ashley!



Ashley: Thhhaaatttt's ME!!

Nickey: Ok, ok, dag nabbit, I'm 73 under this get-up and I'm gettin' way too old for this shit. I'm like the Ric Flair of mascots, geez.



Nickey: Here's your STINKIN' CARD!



Nickey: Was that good enough, "Ashley"?



KK: You're Mary Kate, dipshit!



KK: And you're Jodie Sweetin! GODDAMMIT I HATE DISNEYWORLD!

Nickey: DisneyWorldLAND!!! LAND, get it right ya shmuck!

KK: Whatever, just give me the damned card ya mook.

He does.

Nickey: Now get off my lap.

He does.

Nickey: *coughs, returns to normal, "happy" voice* Have a nice day, buckaroo!

KK: FUCK YOU!!!

Kid Kool storms away from Nick, as Michelle and Stephanie turn toward him walking away, looking as if they want to follow him...

Stephanie: Should we follow him?

Michelle: P-I-Z-Z-A, gimme PIZ--

Stephani: Yeah, yeah, cram it, that stuff is sooo seven years ago.

Michelle: Well , I'm two different people and we're both about 28 years old, so I'm not one to dictate anything regarding time specifications.

Stephanie: ......................let's go get ice cream with Uncle Stamos.

Michelle: You got it, dude!

They walk off. This promo sucks. Here's the cast of 'The Middle' at DisneyLand or World or whatever;



And here's the--

end\\

|have mercy|