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**Vincent Lane** · (01-31-2016)

Loverboy is in his dressing room, blasting a stereo and holding a pair of champagne bottles. Next to him is the love of his life, Roxy Cotton. They both look pretyt stoked.

Dudes and dudettes!

Today is January 31st, 2016... and it is MY 31st birthday!

That's right, your one true Hashtag Megastar is 31 on 31, and it's time to fuckin' PARTAY!

So come on in, bring some blow and bitches, and party with the greatest champion this business has ever seen!

Loverboy pops the cork off a bottle of champagne, dousing his lovely girlfriend's bust in the liquid, soaking her sheer purple dress through to the nipples.

Now THAT'S how you start a party, baby! OW! have fuckin' mercy!

Loverboy chugs on the bottle and turns up the tunes, waiting for the others to come into his party.

**Roxy Cotton** · **01-31-2016, 05:52 PM**

You're so silly, baby...

Chris MacBeth · **01-31-2016, 06:06 PM**

The door bursts open and in walks Chris Macbeth with a bottle of champagne in each hand and some left over cocaine just under his nose.

Macbeth: Where's the party at, bitches?

**Vincent Lane** · **01-31-2016, 06:18 PM**

Uh, this is the party. The bitches were up to you though, dude.

I heard that Riot chick was into some freaky shit if you got her high enough. Put that coke next to the other coke and text her.

Number's written on the bathroom wall down by Fernando's room, dude.

Chris MacBeth · **01-31-2016, 07:12 PM**

My bad...

Macbeth pulls phone out of his pocket and heads out the room in search of the number.

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **01-31-2016, 07:19 PM**

Robbie Bourbon bursts through the door.

Damnit, Vin, I'm trying to take a nap in the room next door, and you're blasting this music...

Robbie sees Roxy Cotton, her purple dress clinging to her figure as it drips champagne. He blushes and averts his eyes.

Sorry, Miss Cotton, I, uh...

Cyberjaw and Diamondback walk in behind Robbie. They immediately see Vinnie Lane with two champagne bottles and Roxy.

Robbie, I, oh shit!

Dude, time to get this party started right.

Robbie rubs his eyes.

Fuck. Alright.

Robbie steps out with Cyberjaw and Diamondback, then the threesome walk back in carrying chaffing dishes, along with Blue, Ash, and Clyde the Orangutan. Clyde is wearing one of those helmets with two cup holders and straws, a 40 oz. of Schlitz in each holder.

Happy Birthday, Vinnie.

The Bourbon Men set up the food on a table, revealing a tray of baked ziti, a tray of chicken marsala, and a tray of grilled zucchini and yellow squash.

Now eat something, you look like you haven't had a meal besides the powdered up-the-nose type in decades. Here, this is special for you.

Robo-Rob bursts in through the wall, Kool-Aid man style, and does what one would expect it to do.

Happy birthday Vinnie.

It is also holding a small silver platter with a 3 lb. lobster and a 20 oz. porterhouse, quite the surf and turf.

Tommy Wish · **01-31-2016, 07:29 PM**

Tommy walks into the party with a few cases of Vodka and places it on the floor. He looks down on Roxy's shoes.

Oh hey there, nice shoes... Roxy.

Then he stands up to see Loverboy and gives him a small gift card.

Loverboy, I know you and Roxy love to go on a shopping sprees, i gave you all a 500 dollar gift card. Enjoy brother.

Then he processed to go to the buffet line to eat some grub.

**Vincent Lane** · **01-31-2016, 07:29 PM**

Cool monkey, dude.

Looking at the ziti and taking a big bite out of the squash, Loverboy seems perplexed.

Wait, you just... had all this food already? While you were napping? Do you have, like, an eating disorder or something?

Loverboy looks around at all the dude in the room. Assuming the orangutan is a dude. And then he chekcs his watch, impatiently waiting for Macbeth to finish up.

Fuck, man, this place is a sausage fest. Can't your robot go get that Vanessa bitch, or Nasty Natty Whatever-her-last-name-is? Your boys look like they've got a year's worth of blue balls swelling up.

Loverboy does a quick key bump off of his coke pile, then throws up his hands in shame.

Oh, shit, where are my manners... anyone want some of this eight ball?

**Roxy Cotton** · **01-31-2016, 07:31 PM**

Roxy keeps her distance from Tommy, grabbing one of the vodkas and getting closer to Vinnie.

Why is this foot fetish freak still here? I charge for that kind of shit, perv.

Tommy Wish · **01-31-2016, 07:38 PM**

Then tommy puts down his plate and snorts a line of the good stuff, then he punches a near by wall from that line of coke he just snorted by accident.

My fault bro, just got me fucking going... I wanted to bring a plus one, but she died and my sister is...well, in fucking Amsterdam or some shit.

Then he twitches his nose and looks at Roxy.

I like to apologize for staring at your shoes. I just noticed they were some gucci prada shit. Don't worry, I won't try to suck your toes in this wonderful gathering.

Then he looks at her with a handshake and she ignores him, and then he opens the door to bring in some high class looking escorts to start this party.

Ladies meet the fucking birthday boy!

**Vincent Lane** · **01-31-2016, 07:42 PM**

About time Tommy was good for something!

Roxy, come on... let the dude smell your feet. His chick died.

Loverboy starts gnawing on some lobster tail.

**Roxy Cotton** · **01-31-2016, 07:44 PM**

Ugh.

Fine.

Roxy sits down on a couch next to Tommy Wish, undoes her heels and kicks them off, then places her feet in Tommy's lap, trying to take her mind somewhere else.

You get five minutes.

Tommy Wish · **01-31-2016, 07:49 PM**

He rubs them for a good two minutes and pulls them off his lap, then he pays her the five minutes.

Roxy, thank you for letting me rub your feet in short amount of time; now go back to your hubby.

Then he gets off the couch and grabs a shot of vodka.

Fuck it, where the fuck the music at man? where's the band at?...

**Vincent Lane** · **01-31-2016, 07:51 PM**

Dude is Trax coming in here? I feel like hitting a fat blunt and playing some dominoes.

Carnage · **01-31-2016, 07:59 PM**

Carnage, who was last seen getting shot to bits and carried away by Mexican police after his match with Scully a couple weeks ago, walks in in just a pair of dirty boxers and wearing his red and black face paint.

Happy Birthday drag queen! I brought the hookers, gonna need help getting them out the van, they're abit dead... but thats no problem right? HAHAHAHAHAHA.

**Vincent Lane** · **01-31-2016, 08:05 PM**

Who the fuck...

Loverboy looks Carnage up and down, seeing that there is definitely something compleetely not right about the guy.

Someone get this man a drink.

Tommy Wish · **01-31-2016, 08:09 PM**

Take this drink Carny...

He gives Carny a whole glass of vodka...

it's on me man, plus why you killed the ho's in the van? Why not in Mexico?

**Roxy Cotton** · **01-31-2016, 08:17 PM**

Roxy takes Tommy Wish's iPod Shuffle and plugs it into the stereo.

The entire party, even the orangutan, look over at Wish like they smell a fart.

What the fuck is wrong with this guy? I need to go take a shower... ew ew ew...

Carnage · **01-31-2016, 08:40 PM**

Carnage smiles at Lane then takes a big gulp of the Vodka Tommy Wish gave him, audibly smacking his lips together.

Thanks homeless looking man! Never been served by a transient before! And I theres no WAY I could've gotten them bitches past the border station, besides, by collecting them here in this city I made sure they're still fresh and not TOO rotten, go check 'em...still WARM! Haha!

Carnage pulls some keys out of his boxers and throws them to Wish before walking off to where the food is still downing the Vodka.

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **01-31-2016, 08:49 PM**

Ash, Bourbon's stylist's eyes go wide at something in the party.

Don't mind if I do.

Ash takes a nose dive into the plate of chop, coming up with at least a gram of the powder all over her mug. Robbie looks on, bewildered.

Okay, looks like it's time for better party favors. And yes, Vin, I do travel with a fully stocked kitchen everywhere I go. These were for Ghost Tank's retirement, but I wasn't invited to that party, so eat up. The surf and turf was my dinner. You're eating my dinner. Stop being belligerent, enjoy.

Robbie leaves the room, and quickly comes back with a tray of muffins.

These have a special ingredient. Psilocybes. THESE we just had sitting around, if you catch my drift.

The rest of the Bourbon Men besides Robbie and Blue furrow their brow without a clue as to what psilocybes are. Robbie and Blue giggle and each eat a muffin.

Bon appetit.

**Vincent Lane** · **01-31-2016, 08:53 PM**

Loverboy spits out the mouthful of ziti he'd just bitten into.

Ghost Tank retired like a WEEK or two go, man! This shit's gonna give me c. diff!

Ah, fuck it, not your fault. You're a good dude, big man. You're into some weird shit, but that's cool by me.

Mr Killjoy · **01-31-2016, 08:56 PM**

Trax, Jackie and Extreme Machine turn up. Trax looks around to see Lane, Roxy, Bourbon and a bunch of other people he doesn't really know, one of them who is in just boxers and face paint who is eating all the food. Trax turns to the other two.

Why are we here?

Free food.

You for real? We came all this way...

Why you bitching for? You TELEPORTED us here! Besides....FREE.FOOD.

EM dashes off to the food table. Jackie claps her hands together excitedly and then points.

Is that an Orangutan!? How cute! I'm going to go pet it!

Jackie also runs off also, leaving Trax alone, scowling.

What the FUCK is this music?

**Vincent Lane** · **01-31-2016, 09:00 PM**

Trax! Dude! Awesome of you to make it, man. My bad about all the shit talk. But hey, man, this is a party, who cares right? Our chicks can talk about nail polish or what the fuck ever.

You're right about the music too, but I don't give a fuck, I'm high as a fuckin' kite right now.

Loverboy plops a box of dominoes onto the table, pouring them out.

Let's get this shit going, man... I wanna play some bones!

Mr Killjoy · **01-31-2016, 09:17 PM**

Trax looks over to see EM stuffing his face with a rack of ribs, then at Jackie who is petting Clyde, he shakes his head, he goes to speak when suddenly Carnage sneaks up on him and gets him in a headlock giving him a noogie.

Hey Trax! Been meaning to ask whats the deal with those anal beads on your head? I know your girl has a FAT ASS but do you really put your whole...

Trax elbows Carnage hard in the ribs so he lets go, Mr Dominance then coils back....TRAP SILENCER! Carnage goes down as Trax just looks down at him continuing to shake his head.

Where do they find these people? Ah fuck it... Dominoes you say Lane? Eh...

Trax shrugs.

Sure.

**Vincent Lane** · **01-31-2016, 09:23 PM**

Fuck yeah!

Loverboy slaps a domino down onto the table.

Just, uh... I don't actually know how to play. I figured you'd know because you're... well, I mean... you know...

Justice Drake · **01-31-2016, 09:23 PM**

Justice Drake can be seen, in his usual attire, walking up to the door with his lovely wife, Skylar Storm, who is wearing a pretty white and purple dress. Justice gets to the door and turns to Skylar.

Do l have to be here? You know l hate Vinnie and his CCWF goons, so why do l have to be here?

Look can't you just forget about the CCWF and all that for one night? It's Vinnie's birthday, and you were invited, it's only fair you turn up and give him one more chance. At least for tonight only. Am l right?

I suppose so. But if l catch Vinnie eyeing you up, or if he fucks up, even once, we are outta here.

Okay, that's fair. Now let's go, the free food isn't going to eat itself!

Justice walks through the door and looks at the huge crowd of people. Skylar goes off to mingle with some of the people. Justice manages to spot his favourite food, out of the corner of his eye.

Pizza! Fuck yes, and he even has my favourite here. Pepperoni! Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

Justice picks up a slice as Vinnie walks over to him.

**Vincent Lane** · **01-31-2016, 09:29 PM**

Oh hey Skylar. Brought the future ex with you, huh? Cool.

Loverboy looks her up and down.

Nice ass. Squats?

Mr Killjoy · **01-31-2016, 09:35 PM**

(01-31-2016, 09:23 PM)LoverboyVinnieLane Said: Fuck yeah!

Loverboy slaps a domino down onto the table.

Just, uh... I don't actually know how to play. I figured you'd know because you're... well, I mean... you know...

Trax raises a eyebrow.

...from Brooklyn where Dominoes is a popular past time? You'd assume correct.I'll show you, winner gets to beat up Justice Drake.

Trax turns to Drake who he knows full well is within earshot, Trax smiles devilishly.

Just kidding, maybe.Justice FUCKING Drake, how are you son? Last time I saw you, it was when me and Lux Lyden absolutely obliterated you and your brother, no hard feelings right?

**Roxy Cotton** · **01-31-2016, 09:41 PM**

Roxy storms into the main room again, carrying a stack of G-string panties in her hand.

Vinnie.

Tommy Wish took a shit in the bathroom and clogged it all to hell. THEN I found the motherfucker going through my bags with all of these on his face. What the fuck is wrong with your friends?

Roxy notices Jackie by the table.

Oh, hey girl! Who does your hair?

"Meme Machine" Mike L. Green · (01-31-2016)

> I bust through the wall like I'm the motherfucking Kool-Aid Man

>Oh yeah bitches, it's party time

Gr8 party U have here M8, but it needs somethin br0.

>I then pull out my ban hammer, which is about 1/2 the size of mah dick at feature length.

>I tap it on the ground twice

IT NEEDZ SOME WAIFUS 'N DANK MEMES! #getwasted

>Suddenly my bitches appear outta nowhere

>They start to flirt with the males and females

>I don't mind lesbians

>I hand Lane a present

>What could be inside?

>No, not mah dick

>Why?

>Bcuz one of my bitches is sucking it

Happy Birthday L0verb0i.

**Vincent Lane** · **01-31-2016, 09:48 PM**

Uh... thanks?

Loverboy leans closer to Trax and whispers to him.

Who is that guy? And why is he covered in Cheeto dust?

Justice Drake · **01-31-2016, 09:51 PM**

Justice, who has picked up another slice of pizza, walks over to Trax and Vinnie.

Trax my man, long time no see. Not really, cause l see you every day, but l thought it would be cool to say it. Anyways, l'm good man, and yourself?

Justice looks to Vinnie and then Skylar and then back to Vinnie.

Vinnie, l'm here because it's your birthday, not because l like you. Now for Skylar's sake, l'm gonna let what you said to her slide, okay? We are happily married and nothing is gonna change that. Oh and by the way, l hope Trax kicks your ass at Dominoes

Justice walks away from Trax and Vinnie and goes to mingle with some of the other people.

Mr Killjoy · **01-31-2016, 09:53 PM**

(01-31-2016, 09:41 PM)Roxy Cotton Said: Roxy storms into the main room again, carrying a stack of G-string panties in her hand.

Vinnie.

Tommy Wish took a shit in the bathroom and clogged it all to hell. THEN I found the motherfucker going through my bags with all of these on his face. What the fuck is wrong with your friends?

Roxy notices Jackie by the table.

Oh, hey girl! Who does your hair?

Jackie stops petting Clyde and gives Roxy a sparkling smile.

Thanks girl! A French stylist out in Manhattan who is a longtime friend of mine, I'll hit you up with his details if you like?

A few feet away, Trax rolls his eyes.

Some fuck boy called Pierre, looks kinda like Lucas actually. Anyway, get ready Lane, I'm about to show you why in the hood they called Mr FN' Dominoes.

**Vincent Lane** · (01-31-2016)

Show me how it's done, Bad Boy. Gotta be able to beat me in something, after all...

Most of the party stops and looks over at Loverboy after he drops such obvious shade.

What? I'm just fuckin' around, shit... you guys need to hit those muffins and lighten up, dude!

Do I shuffle these?

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **01-31-2016, 10:02 PM**

Robbie walks over to the dominoes table.

Nah, Vinnie, like this. It's called a wash.

Robbie looks over at Trax.

Sup.

Robbie looks down at the bones and starts to mix them around. He mixes them for a solid minute before Trax and Vinnie throw their hands up in the air. Robbie then starts setting up the dominoes in a trail to be knocked over, giggling the entire time.

Fuckin' awesome, man. Watch.

Robbie knocks over a domino, but his hasty set up actually failed to generate a reaction. He continues to watch the unfallen dominoes, until Trax and Vinnie slowly sweep them down and wash them again. Robbie slowly turns his head and looks at Vinnie.

That was sweetileed, dudeski. You do a birthday trickskipdoodle with them flimbobs there.

Robbie's riktus grin never dissipates.

Mr Killjoy · **01-31-2016, 10:13 PM**

[b]Trax raises an eyebrow.

Why the hell is that XWF management dude talking like Austin Fernando?[/b]

**Vincent Lane** · **01-31-2016, 10:18 PM**

Ayyyyyy, Fern!

My bad dude, I just remembered that Riot chick got blitzed one night and started talking shit about wanting your little hipster dick, and she was gonna write her number in your pad, man.

Was I wrong? I mean, I know she's only a six AT BEST, but whatever, we all have our bad days, you know?

Loverboy looks at Fern a little closer.

Dude... is that a hickey, dude? Were you with Riot just now? Aw shit, dude! My boy finally got his little cherry popped. I'm so proud of this metrosexual motherfucker right now!

**Vincent Lane** · **01-31-2016, 10:27 PM**

Birthday party, man.

We got food, folks, n' fun, like a 90s McDonalds commercial. Also, pills, puff, n' powder.

Can you get Tommy Wish out of Roxy's shit before she kills him dude?

Zane Kingsley III · **01-31-2016, 10:30 PM**

Zane Kingsley III arrives on the scene, an American flag draped over his clothing. Sunglasses game on point. He's busy looking down at his phone, typing rapidly before sliding the phone into his pocket.

"Vinnie my man! What's good?"

R Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" can be heard in the background as he seemingly fades into background, keeping a close eye on the party.

Prof. Bobby Bourbon · **01-31-2016, 10:32 PM**

Robbie walks up to Fernando.

Hehehehehe, play with the dominoes, man. They're the best. Cupcake?

Robbie hands a magic mushroom laden muffin to Fernando. He then doffs his mask and sits on the floor across from Blue, who has pulled out some paints. She begins to paint Robbie's face with her fingers as Robbie paints hers in the same way, both cackling every so often before leaning in to give each other a quick series of kisses, then returning to having wide, unfading grins on their faces. Ash pats Vinnie on the shoulder, winks, then sits on the couch next to the wet spot where Roxy's champagne soaked body sat.

Tooooooommy, my feeeeeeet hurt...

She takes her shoes off and snorts back a spot of the drip. Clyde the Orangutan has finished his 40s and runs out into the hall. We hear the sound of glass breaking and orangutan grunts and screams from outside the room.

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