http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=5889

what do you guys think?

Key Thoughts
-Liked how you talked about what happened in your last match, gives readers a general idea of what you are referring to when it comes toward Mr. Radio

-Loved that you used different colors to distinguish what, personally I wouldn't have used the yellow, green and red combo haha but seriously, that helps a-lot of whose is talking and what the actions are

-Love the descriptive details like "Jonny jerks forward in pain and takes a few painful deep breaths. He holds his ribs in obvious pain." but on others, I would be a little more descriptive like for a example "Jonny then pulls the back of his jeans tight, making them appear to be skinny jeans."

I would make that into "Just fueling the insults to Mr. Radio even more, Jonny slowly pulls the back of his jeans tighter to make the appearance of skinnier jeans. "

But overall man, you did a really good job. Keep up the good work.

I like reading critiques of others cuz it shows me where I could use some improvement myself. Descriptiveness is my downfall. But I will learn. The rp I put up tomoro, I'm gonna ask for feedback.

Now on to your rp, Rebel, I really liked it. You're character is developing rapidly. I like the fact that you sprinkled some dickish humor in there. And I don't take the shot you took at me personally either. I loved it, gives me more fuel and that is what I wanted people to say/think. You're really on top of your game. I really wanna work with you sometime in the future. cheers.