XWF universe...


A familiar voice says before the pitch black scene slowly transitions to an interior shot of the home of former XWF star Drew Archyle and his wife Kayla Main, sister of former XWF mega star Robert Main.


Seated at the kitchen table is none other than the aforementioned Drew Archyle.


"So how's everyone doing? I bet you're all wondering what has good ole Drew been up to since he disappeared from the wrestling scene after Bad Medicine 2021 right? Of course you have been. Well let me tell you, my life has been an absolute whirlwind in the best kind of way. You all remember Robert Main right? Former XWF everything champion. Well I finally got his sister Kayla to marry me. I only had to ask her like 6-7 times. But eventually I wore her down and she said yes. And then not long after that she gave birth to twins. Luke and Leia Archyle. No seriously. She le me name them whatever I wanted on the condition that I would retire from wrestling and be a stay at home dad so that she could continue her day job as a named partner at a prestigious law firm out here in L.A. Oh yeah we moved to Los Angeles. Not my type of place but the wife loves it. Anyway, I was planning on quitting the business to be a stay at home dad anyway so it was an easy yes when she countered my name suggestions with shall we say more traditional names. But don't tell her that. The twin's just turned 3 a few months ago. I'd show you a picture so you could see how amazing they are but the wife has a strict "no camera's policy" when it comes to the kids and I have a strict "I want to keep having sex with my wife" policy so I do what she says.

But in all seriousness friends, being a stay at home dad is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I get why women spent so many years being homemakers. I get to wake up every single morning and spend the entire day with my kids. I made them breakfast. I read to them. I sing to them. I play games with them. Then I make them lunch. Then we go to the local park where the kids have play dates with other local kids. Then we come home and I make them and Kayla, when she gets home in time a wonderful dinner, then I give them a bath and put them to bed so I can do it all again the next day. I don’t know why anyone would go to work if they could do this all day. I really don’t.”


Drew gets up from the table to reveal that he’s wearing an apron that reads “World’s Best Dad”.


“Whichhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh is probably a weird thing to hear me say considering I was just announced as a replacement wrestler for XWF’s War Games. Like what? Drew Archyle? He wasn’t even that good in his hey day, they say. Now he’s 4 years removed from any form of competitive wrestling and he’s going to just show up rustier than an old bike chain at one of wrestling's premier companies for one of its biggest events and not get his teeth kicked in? Well yes…and no. You people do remember who you’re talking to right? I’m the guy who routinely took the beatings so guys like Robert Main and Jim Caedus (RIP probably) could win the big matches and make the big bucks. It was never about the money and fame for me. It was about love of the sport, it was about brotherhood. But when Jim screwed us over for like the 300th time and Robert decided to take some time off that fire, that passion, that energy that allowed me to take a beating but still get up for more, that was gone. And honestly it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love what I do now. I truly do. I get to watch my kids grow up, I get to stay at home and experiment with new recipes. Every Tuesday my mother in law, Robert’s mom comes over and we share some wine and cheese while she spends some time with the grand kids. #Blessed.”


Drew walks over to the stove top, removes the lid off of one of the pots, grabs a big wooden spoon and gives the contents of the pot a few good stirs before returning both the lid and the spoon to their rightful resting place.


“It’s Sunday so naturally I’m making Sunday dinner. Which is pasta that I made by hand along with sauce. It's sauce, not gravy, gravy is brown and of course meatballs and sausage from scratch. Like I said, I’m living the dream. So I’m guessing you all are probably asking yourself “Drew if your life is so amazeballs why are you coming back to wrestle? You just said it wasn’t about money or fame so why do it?” Well friends that’s an easy one. Because they asked me to. And when a person asks you for a favor the good Christian thing to do is to accept. Oh yeah I’m a born again Christian now. Just kidding. God is a lie. But no all seriousness, I was approached about being a replacement for War Games and after reading over the fine print in the offer which stated that Theo Pryce Phony Stark gave everyone in the company insurance for life as part of his going away present well I figured, what the heck? I got nothing to lose right? And besides War Games will always have a special place in my heart. It’s where Apex, the group that I cofounded with Robert and Jim has always been successful. We won the event multiple times in fact so just the thought of getting to lace them up one more time for the company I love in the event I love was an opportunity to pass up. Besides, it’s just for one night, how bad could it possibly be?”


A timer starts going off and Drew immediately springs into action. He gets back up from the table, approaches the oven, opens it and with a pair of tongs in hand begins turning the meatballs and sausage over to ensure that they are cooked evenly. After a few moments of this Drew returns the tongs to their proper resting place


“So where was I? Right, War Games. So here I was sitting at the house baking some pies for my mother in law to try before I debut them at Thanksgiving when suddenly Vinnie Lane showed up at my door. How the guy even got my address is an investigation for another time but here he is at my door introducing himself to me like I didn’t know who he was. And after going on and on about himself for far longer than he needed to he gets to the point. War Games is coming up and as is always the case a few people bailed last minute and they need some alternates and would I like to take part? Naturally I ask him some questions, who would I be working with? Who are the opponents? How much time do I have to train? Whose catering the event, you know, the usual. Satisfied with Vinnie’s answers I call the wife and ask her for her permission because again, sex and after some mild convincing she said it would be fine so long as I lined up a baby sitter. Easy to do when Granny is always asking to spend more time with the grand kids. I read once that the more time old people spend with kids the less likely they are to develop symptoms of alzheimers so if anything I’m doing Kayla’s mom a solid by helping her stay healthy. That’s the kind of guy I am. Always selfless.

So my opponents…Corey Black, Sebastian Everett-Bryce, Betsy Granger and Barney Green, a literal who’s who of wrestling Hall of Famers. Even the worst person on that team the self proclaimed Lord of Violence has forgotten more about wrestling than I’ll ever know. And I mean that genuinely, Barney may be the worst person on that team but only because everyone else is so good. In a lot of ways he reminds me of me, If I treated my body like an amusement park and thought and didn’t care what I ate but by like me I mean he’s the guy that takes the beatings so others can make the pins. He’s the guy the doesn’t know what he means to quit. He’s the guy who give’s zero F’s what anyone else thinks, he just goes out there and does his job to the best of his abilities. He leaves it all out on the mat every single match and I respect the hell out of him for that. He knows what he is. And more importantly he knows what he’s not and there’s something to be said for guys like that. Then you have someone like Betsy Granger, one of the baddest women to ever lace up the boots. Betsy was punching dudes in the mouth and staking her claim as an all time hero before that kind of thing was the basis of every Disney movie being made. Betsy has been all over the wrestling landscape for years. You literally can’t have a conversation about the best women in wrestling history without her name coming up. She’s on the Mount Rushmore of female wrestlers. This isn’t me giving false praise, anyone who knows me knows that I only spit facts. Betsy is a baddie and it was my absolute honor to work along side her during our Apex Legacy days which I will touch on a in a little bit when I talk about my partners for this match.”


Drew gets up from the table and walks over to the bar, he pours himself another glass of Pinot and then checks out the kids baby monitor before taking his seat back down at the table in front of the camera.


”So that’s half of my opponents, the other half? Two of the heaviest hitters that exist in the industry today. Sebastian Everett-Bryce and Corey Black? Come on man. Corey Black has won so many titles I honestly bet he can’t even name them all including being a two time Xtreme Champ in the most Xtreme promotion in the business the XWF. I remember when he showed up in the XWF along with Spencer Adams and SEB and they took the place by storm as Pantheon. Some might even call them the 2nd greatest trio in the feds history behind Apex of course. All seriousness though Corey Black is a certified B.A.M.F. I’ve never gotten a chance to square up with this dude but truth be told, he’s the reason I agreed to do this. Say what you want about Sebastian Everett-Bryce and I’ll say plenty about him in a moment but Corey Black is the guy I’m most excited to face because Corey Black is Barney Green, if Barney Green was in shape and good. Corey Black is the guy you call in when you need someone to ramp the violence up to 15 and I love that about that guy. That’s why when the opening bell rings I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that he and I get to dance for a little while before the music stops. Which brings me to the fourth and final member of the opposing team. Sebastian Everett-Bryce. If ever there was a man who when the music stops demands the attention of everyone in the arena simply by stepping through the curtains it’s Sebastian. This dude has literally done it all everywhere. It doesn’t matter where he goes he just wins. And at a high clip. I’ve watched a lot of tape on the guy these past few days and honestly he might be one of the best wrestlers I’ve ever seen. No B.S. This guy does it all. And the worst part is, he does it with a smile. Like it’s literally impossible to dislike this guy and believe me I tried. Sebastian is that dude. It’s kind of infuriating. Which I suppose explains why the leader of the team I’m on is his tag team partner.”


From the background we hear the sound of a child coming out of their slumber which immediately triggers Drew to turn around and look at the baby monitor behind him.


”Welp, looks like our time here is just about done so I guess I’ll put a bow on this promo here. Isaiah King, the team leader, one half of the current tag team champions and a former 2 time Universal Champion. Isaiah I hope that when you step in the ring with me you bring the fire and passion that you have in the past and that you don’t let up when you see your tag team partner lined up across from you. I don’t know you that well but I am going to hope for your sake that you don’t do something stupid to hinder our chances at winning this match because if you do, you and I will have words out in the parking lot. Jennie Nickles, I don’t know you from Adam but I hear you’re Charlie Nickles sister which means your probably insane and likely not a good person, like at all but that’s ok. I can work with that. In a match such as this one the more mentally unwell you are the more likely you are to do well. At least that’s been my experience having teamed with Jim Caedus for years. And last but definitely not least my friend Centurion. It’s been a while since Cent and I have spoken but when things were looking rough for Apex, he, along with Betsy Granger, Shawn Warstein and James Raven showed up to help us and for that I owe Cent a debt and at War Games I plan on paying that debt in full.”


From behind Drew the whining intensifies prompting Drew to get up from the table. He removes his apron and drapes it over the chair he was just sitting on.


”Well friends it’s been real catching up, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk and I’ll see you all this coming weekend at War Games 2025. Peace out cub scouts.”


Drew reaches forward and with a tap of his finger the scene goes dark.



Word Count: 2483
ZeroGPT Score: 3.93%