Hello.

Name’s Graves.

Though, it’s *also* Flynn…

Allegedly.

According to crooked ELO’s reporting!

Previously.

The Vampire Coven spent THREE days refusing to negotiate…

But, immediately granted the Vampire Truckers’ demands…

When Mediator Flynn was replaced…

By Mediator Graves.

That night, Damian, the Coven’s leader, appeared at Flynn’s storage-unit-home’s frontdoor.

---

”…May I enter?”

…

”No.”

WHAM! Flynn’s door slams!

Flynn walks away… without locking it!

”S-s-sir!” Irwin, Flynn’s #1 fan, stammers! ”Y-y-you j-j-just…”

”Refused to invite a vampire in? Correctamundo. Ergo, he can’t enter my home! Vampire rules!”

”…Ohhhhh! Well-played, sir!”

”DUH, Ir-dawg! Prepping for vampire mediation, I painstakingly researched EVERY vampiric trait… considered EVERY POSSIBILITY! There’s NO WAY this ASSHOLE could supri-“

”*CLICK*

…Flynn spins ‘round.

Damian’s walking in!

”HEY-HEY-HEY! You’re NOT INVITED!”

”As such… I *would* find entry impossible...”

”Except…”

Damian reaches backwards!

”Vampire magic!”

”IRWIN! NOW!”

”...Wha-?”

Flynn grabs Irwin’s collar!

HEEEEEEAVE! Irwin’s airborne!

…THUMP!

SPEARED into Damian’s chest!

…Damian’s unaffected…

As Irwin flops, floor-bound…

…

”…Anyway.”

Damian reveals…

…An eviction notice?

”Using my nearly-limitless wealth, I’ve purchased this storage facility. And evicted you… only this evening.”

”As this is, temporarily, not your home? I require no invitation.”

…Flynn squints, calculatingly…

…

”...Shit.”

---

Flynn pours red liquid from a pitcher…

Labeled…

‘BLOOD… FOR VAMPIRIC GUESTS’.

Irwin sits beside Flynn, clutching frozen peas to his face.

”So.” Flynn slides a glass across his table. ”What’s your aim, Dame? Diversifying your portfolio with ‘storage-unit-based real estate’?”

”No.” Damian catches Flynn’s glass. ”I’m clarifying… that I'm your superior.”

”OH. ‘Zat fuckin’ so?”

”Tis.” Damian dumps his ‘drink’ onto the floor…

”C’moooooon! Irwin *just* mopped!”

”Did you think I wouldn’t detect… ‘garlic’ in your blood-offering?”

”…Whaaaaaaat?!? My blood guy added ‘garlic’?!?” …Flynn grimaces, mock-horrified. ”He’s getting a NIGHTMARISH Yelp review!”

”Mark. I’ll speak plainly.”

”I’ve spent my existence, since 800 A.D…”

“Mastering every rule, loophole, and EDGE-CASE of vampirism!”

“You, Flynn?”

“Could not, in your miserably short lifespan, out-plot my labyrinthine designs…”

”No detail could you hide. No BEARD-HAIR could you adjust without my IMMEDIATE NOTICE!”

…

”Now that pecking order’s established…”

”Fetch me…”

”Micheal Graves!”

”...Pardon?”

---

SECONDS LATER

‘Graves’ re-enters, adjusting his ‘Dark Warrior’ mask.

”Uh… Flynn said you… *ahem*... wanted… me?” ‘Graves’ grunts, masking his voice.

(…For the first time since becoming ‘Graves’...)

”Ahhhhh… Graves.” Damian grasps ‘Graves’’s hand, pecking it cordially.

”I visit the Wrestling Union’s Visionary Leader! To create a wholly-new union!”

”Uh….” ‘Graves’ slips his hand outta Dame’s grip. ”Flattering but… I’m married…”

“To wrestler’s rights.”

”Exactly. Your revolution! Achieving freedom for your brethren!”

‘Graves’’s eyebrow raises. ”...You down with the movement, Dame?”

”P’SHAW. Hardly. I merely empathize. You seek to free your people from managerial exploitation. I seek to free mine…”

“FROM GOD.”

…

”…Basically samesies.”

”…Those Thin-blooded Truckers… Infants! Mewling for mother’s teat…”

“They lack the Coven’s vision!”

“..Our vampiric power wanes…”

“Each new generation… Dilutes our strength!”

“To survive, we require what God stripped from vampirekind!”

“The power to create life!”

”...You hittin’ on me? Hard pass.” ‘Graves’ gestures at Damian’s 18th-century garb. ”Not into Vampire-Pride and Blood-Prejudice.”

”I seek…”

Damian lifts a picture…


”…Powers? Sure, he’s created LOTSA life! Then demanded paternity tests when ‘life’’s co-creator wanted child-support…”

”Gotta warn ya, he doesn’t resemble that picture anymore.”

”I’m not seeking to… bed Powers!”

”Well, knowing Dick, bed’s optional.”

“Beach…”

“Escalator…”

“Slip’n’Slide…”

”No, I-“

”Like Lysol, he’s all-surface.”

”I’M UNINTERESTED IN POWERS’ CARNAL PROWESS.”

”…But his necromantic magicks!”

”...Necromantic?”

”Powers has resurrected! Many times! Necromantic magicks course through his veins!”

”My Coven could dissect him… Conquer our undead curse! Breed ! Secure our pure-blood!”

“This plot? Our salvation! Our renew-“

”…Is 2004’s Van Helsing.”

”…What?”

”’Using ‘Frankenstein’ to make Vampire babies’?”

”Wow! That IS 2004’s Van Hel-”

”SILENCE YOUR PRATTLING! My machinations are CENTURIES-OLD! They bear NO RESEMBLANCE to your MEANINGLESS HUMAN FILM!”

---

131 MINUTES LATER

…Credits…

”...Fine.”

”There are… SOME similarities.”

”Identical plan.”

”SILENCE!”

…

”Graves. I granted your mediation victory with *purpose*!”

‘Graves’’ ears perk.

”To let you taste what I offer….”

“Your movement’s fruition!”

”Surrender Powers. And your wildest Revolutionary dreams shall become reality!”

”Pfffff…“

”Wait, Mister Flynn!”

”Flynn?!? Where?!?”

”…I-mean… Mister Flynn… would tell YOU, Graves… Think big picture!”

”...Big picture?”

”An all-powerful, ultra-rich benefactor’s offering nearly-limitless resources…  for ONE guy.”

”A WRESTLER! Under Union protection!”

”A wrestler who opposes the Revolution…”

”Wants you DEAD…”

“AND thinks you’re Frankie Duke!”

”…Somehow? *That* one stings worst...”

”You *can* refuse… Angering an oligarchical immortal with… potentially-superior planning.”

”OR! You surrender an ENEMY! For… everything!”

”Revolution! For ONE wrestler!”

…‘Graves’ eyes Damian’s extended hand.

…‘Graves’ hand…

Rises…

…

Dame’s hand?

Passed.

Dame’s face?

Meets ‘Graves’’ middle-finger.

---

Hi, Roger.

You start promos saying ‘hello’.

Anybody say ‘hello’ back?

You might wonder...

Why didn’t Graves surrender Powers?

Doesn’t he want REVOLUTION?

…

Everyone’s delegitimizing my dream.

Claiming I’m…

Doing this for myself.

Roger.

Would I be slumming it on Anarchy?

Making Thursdays MUST-SEE TEEVEE!!!

If this was about me?

…

Months ago, Jett Sterling ABANDONED Anarchy.

Fear spread. Anarchy *could* get CANCELED.

People’s jobs? Jeopardized!

Instead?

YOUR Anarchy Champion, Micheal Graves.

Lifted the brand…

To NEW HEIGHTS.

…

Why?

Mark Flynn.

Flynn once despised his coworkers.

He saw wrestling as zero-sum.

Other wrestlers?

Were mouths management *might* feed earlier.

Flynn maimed…

Injured…

Ended every career he could.

To ensure he’d always be fed.

If they couldn’t survive?

Didn’t deserve to.

…

Then?

Flynn had a kid.

…You’re “expecting”, right, Roger?

My notes say Molly’s…

…Wait.

FOURTEEN MONTHS PREGNANT?!?

…

…Aaaaaaanyway…

Flynn saw this…

Vulnerable, wailing infant.

…And loved him.

More than Flynn thought himself capable.

…

Like Flynn loves his child…

I love the XWF’s talent.

Besides myself?

I wouldn’t give ANYONE for Revolution.

NOT.

EVEN.

ONE.

A Union that cannot protect ALL members?

No TRUE Union.

…

That’s my mission.

Uniting EVERY-one.

…

Ready, Roger?

To be reborn?

Radicalized?

Reforged in fire?

As a brother-in-arms?

You’ve been treated like a joke.

Clown.

Punchline.

After tonight?

NONE will laugh.

NOT.

EVEN.

ONE.

…

Tonight?

The world’ll meet you anew.

And say…

Hello, Roger.