"Lighthouses are more helpful than churches."
Benjamin Franklin
Absolute obsolete is the only way to obliterate the obnoxious ovation that unfolds within my observatory just outside my windowsill in the dead of night. As I stare off ominously into the stars from my lighthouse at the end of the world I can do nothing be relinquish in the sound of the waves crashing on the side of the shore and preside in the pleasantries of my past. What has brought me to this sad seclusion in this sedimentary station at the end of my existence is not the boy I was born to be nor the man that I had hoped to become. The more I drink the louder the crashing waves get, but the less I drink the more I dwell upon it. A vicious cycle has led me to the conclusion that ending my life is the only way to mend this madness and bring it to its ultimate demise.
Most find the lighthouse as a guide to safety and happiness at the end of the road to a long journey, and my initial thought when I came to tend this terrible tower was that of comfort and solitude that would keep me contempt from my propensity to turn to the bottle. I came with only a suitcase with a few clothes on my back and was told by the previous tenant that everything I would need would be located within this pillar and its surrounding premises. All I found within the kitchen was a surplus supply of alcohol and acetaminophen, with no substance of food or water. It was as if the devil himself had trapped me in a pit of my darkest desires and was tempting me to destroy myself in the manner from which I was trying to escape from in the first place. I knew this was the end of me as I searched frantically over and over for anything that would help keep me alive rather than poison me, and then I made one last desperate attempt to flag down the dingy that had dropped me off on this island. It was to no avail as the boat continued to cast away further and further with no concern for my cries of contempt.
It was the constant crashing of the waves that drove me back to the drink and away from my sanity. Over and over and over again in absolute unison and in a harmony that at first seems beautiful to the naked ear, but in time becomes a drum beat of despair and dismay and was calling me to the crypt. I can see off in the distance, despite my drunken stupor, the light at the end of the way. My ticket to freedom and sanity once again! Something evil has tainted these grounds and this obsolete obelisk and I can not.... no.... I will not allow myself to let it be the death of me. I will take my own life and not let the wickedness that is trapped upon this island take what it ultimately brought me here to do. Is the light off in the darkness of the ocean a ship attempting to rescue me or the lord inviting me into the kingdom of heaven. No matter what it may be, I have chosen to succumb to it's shining guidance and I slam the final contents of the bottle before I take my final step out the door at the top of this tower of terror and fall into the blinding light at the end of the way....
I
RAPED
MASTERMINDS
ANUS
The following words float by on the screen as the camera fades out to show that Unknown Soldier is wearing a t-shirt with the words scrawled across the front of the t-shirt that is also probably covered in blood, piss, semen, and SATAN! only knows what else! The demonic do-badder is surrounded by a serenade of burning candles made out of dildos that light the room around him and shine the shadow of his sleek figure behind him which appears to show him masturbating profusely his 6.66 inch demonic demon dick.
Unknown Soldier: "It feels good to finally put Vinnie Lane in his place and to pester him in the most obnoxious way possible to him by winning his coveted Anarchy title on his own show, but I won't reach my ultimate 'climax' until I make a mockery of these misfits in this chamber match tomorrow night and prove to everyone that I am still the ultimate asinine annoyance that will always be in the XWF until the day of his demise. I am the troll that always was and forever will be. I will always be here to remind him and each and every single one of you of the XWF's haunting past of scat and rape. Did you all see the temper tantrum he threw when he stole his belt away from me that I had rightfully won. The slew of shit heads in this match is his attempt to throw anything he can at me to try to take the title away from me. I hope the rest of you puppets realize this when you step foot with me in the ring, that you are doing nothing but his bidding as Cesar himself sits back on his throne eating grapes and watches the gladiators go at it in the coloseum. Russel Crowe didn't back down from the challenge and neither will I Vinnie until I embarass your gladiators and get you in that ring myself. I will make a mockery out of you until the day that you stand across from me like Joaquin Phoenix and I show these folks what you really are. My mother fucking bitch!"
The scene ends with the shadow going back to jacking off very generously faster and faster with a loud moan at the very end before it cuts out.
XWF Record
56 - 20 - 1
1 (X) Universal Champion
4 (X) Xtreme Champion
1 (X) Tag Team Champion (w/ Doctor Louis D'ville)
1 (X) Anarchy Champion
2 (X) Superstar of the Month
Hall of Legends member inducted 9/27/20 at Relentless