OOC: SAVAGE RULES is 2 RPs with 3k Word Limit. All matches have a 3k word limit UNLESS otherwise specified. TV Title Matches follow SAVAGE RULES. You must post 1 cold open RP before the soft deadline of 04-08-2022 at 11:59pm board time. Hard deadline for Savage will be 04-15-2022 at 11:59pm board time.
EPIC INTRO
SIIIIIIINNNNCEEEEE I’M A BAAAAASSTTTAAARRRD
The Nickleman’s theme music plays over the loudspeaker as a video package highlighting his most recent TV title run plays on the X-tron.
HHL: “Oh here we go again. You all know what this little melodrama means.”
PC: “It means the TV champion, Charlie Nickles, is coming out here to the ring! I wonder what he’s coming down here for, maybe he has something on his chest that he needs to get off!”
HHL: “If Charlie gets in the ring and starts taking off his shirt and stripping, I swear Pip, I’m going to quit this job.”
Charlie Nickles steps onto the entrance ramp with the TV championship belt being held against his shoulder with his left hand while he grips a microphone with his right. The crowd boos like it’s Halloween as Nickles starts descending the ramp and heading towards the ring. As Charlie hops onto the ring’s apron a few pieces of trash and a few empty beer cans are thrown at him from the crowd. The Nickleman ignores the flying debris as he ducks between the top two ropes and steps into the ring amidst a symphony of derision.
HHL: “These fans aren’t keeping their feelings for Charlie Nickles a secret. Good. I don’t like this creep either.”
PC: “Like him or not, Heather, you should respect him! He’s the reigning and defending TV champion, a title he’s held for well over 100 days now! Everyone booing Charlie Nickles just WISHES their favorite XWF wrestler could hold a championship belt for as long as Charlie has held his! Unless, of course, their favorite XWF wrestler is Corey Smith!”
Charlie Nickles rolls his head around on his neck as the audience continues to chant him down. The camera pans around to show various fans in the arena holding up signs with anti-Charlie messages written on them.
One sign reads ‘Charlie Can’t Read This Sign’.
Another sign reads ‘I Can Smell Charlie From Here’.
A different sign reads ‘Goldi Sent Me Nudes’.
Charlie starts walking around inside the ring. Then, he brings the microphone up to his lips while he holds his golden lover against his chest.
“What a fucking joke you people are.”
PC: “The TV champion doesn’t appear happy with the reception he’s received here tonight!”
HHL: “Crocodile tears, Pip. Crocodile tears.”
”I come out here week after week and put on a show for you people. I put my blood, tears, and sweet, sweet Goldi on the line for you people every week. And this is the thanks I get, for going on a record-setting reign, and for letting you all observe and document my success in high-definition?”
The crowd starts to boo The Nickleman even louder as he begins to lambast them.
“But I’ve seen what makes you not-so-great apes cheer…so go on, continue to boo me. Continue to hoot and holler everytime you see me walking down that entrance ramp with my Goldi. Continue to disrespect my good name and my noble intentions, see what good it gets ya! Look at all the good it did for Ruby and Centurion!”
“WHAT!”
I said-
“WHAT!”
PC: “It seems the crowd has burst into the classic ‘WHAT’ chant here tonight, and frankly, I’m having a hard time focusing on Charlie with how loud these idiots in the audience are being!”
“WHAT!”
HHL: “But Pip, that’s like, the whole point!”
‘WHAT!”
Charlie’s lips curl into a sinister grin as the crowd continues to chant ‘WHAT’ at him.
”Oh, you fine folks out there can’t hear me? No matter, let me show ya! Play the clip, boys! Play the clip!”
‘WHAT!”
The X-tron comes back to life as a short clip from Charlie v Centurion at the PPV plays on the screen. We see a grinning Charlie Nickles holding up the bloodied face of Centurion, over and over again on loop.
‘WHAT!”
”Ahahaha.’
The Nickleman chuckles to himself with the mic in-hand as the crowd’s ‘WHAT!’ chants only grow louder.
‘WHAT!”
”I SAID, KEEP DISRESPECTING MY NAME AND SEE WHAT GOOD IT GETS YA! SEE WHAT GOOD IT GOT CENTURION AND HIS DRUNKEN BITCH!”
‘WHAT!”
Keep disrespecting my name, and see what good it gets ya! See what good it got Alias!”
Another clip from the PPV plays on the X-tron, except this time it's a clip from the end of the show. We see Alias and Charlie Nickles jawing at each other from across the arena. Then, we see a masked man attack Alias with a briefcase. When the man removes his mask we can see it was Jim Jimson who attacked Alias!
You all like seeing that as much as I did?
Charlie snickers to himself as the what chants finally die off into regular boos.
HHL: “Charlie has been a ruthless bastard ever since he picked that TV title back up, but he’s really laying it on thick right now.”
PC: “He’s just reminding these people why they shouldn’t boo him!”
HHL: “Why shouldn’t they boo a man who does such despicable things?”
PC: “Because if you boo him, then YOU might be his next victim!”
Charlie Nickles leans against the ropes as he looks out into the vast conglomerate of his detractors.
“I know you hate me because I’m the greatest wrestler alive. I’m the greatest champion this federation has ever seen. I mean, this beautiful belt right here really says it all, doesn’t it?”
HHL: “Greatest wrestler alive? Charlie’s drinking too much of his own Kool-aid if he really believes that.”
PC: “Oh he believes it, Heather. He fully believes it.”
Charlie takes the belt off his shoulder and shows it off to the crowd as he remains leaned against the ropes.
”This smokin’ hot babe right here is the XWF Television Heavyweight Wrestling Championship, also known as my Goldi for short. I’d say she’s the greatest thing since sliced bread, but God damn it, I’d rather eat bread by the loaf than be separated from my sweet Goldi! But hey, I think every feller’ starts to feel that way once he meets his special lady.
I’ve been reunited with my Goldi for 139 days now, and I haven't had a sour hour since. Her golden sunshine keeps all the clouds away, and her radiant touch helps soothe me to sleep at night. Her love for me is what gives me the power I need to rip through each and every challenger that bitch Karen Hunt puts in front of me. Her love for me is what gives me the power I need to take down every Hall of Legends member they throw at me, to take down each and every one of my limitless detractors. My doubters will have the wool forcefully ripped from their eyes, one by one, until they’re forced to stare directly into her golden grace around my waist.”
PC: “I think Charlie’s saying he’s going to make his haters suck his dick!”
HHL: “Honestly, Pip? I never know what the hell Charlie is trying to say.”
“Alias was talking shit, so the motherfucker got hit. It’s as simple as that. I’m not a complex man, I’m not hard to understand. So when people do something that just really ticks me off...I know they absolutely meant to do it.
What Alias said about my children in the run-up to his match at March Madness….
Charlie Nickles shook his head from side to side as he spit a brownish-yellow loogie onto the ground near the ringside apron.
HHL: “Disgusting!”
PC: “Yeah, that mockumentary Alias made for March Madness where he had Charlie’s children sucking from his nipples was crossing way too many lines!”
HHL: “I’m talking about Charlie’s nasty loogie, Pip!”
The crowd continued to relentlessly boo the Nickleman even as he complicated the moral context of his actions at the pay per view.
“Some lines shouldn’t be crossed, just ask Raion Kido. Kegare. From one man to another man, you leave the children out of it. This is professional wrestling, we’re supposed to be professionals. You can’t begin mocking and sexualizing children just because you don’t approve of their father’s actions in the ring! That's bullshit, Alias, and I hope that bastard Jim taught you a fucking lesson you won’t forget!”
HHL: “Charlie seems really worked up about Alias mocking his children.”
PC: “Well yeah, Heather! Charlie is not just The Nickleman, but he’s also the Family Man! So he has to defend his family’s honor!”
HHL: “I think his kids have protection orders against him.”
PC: “The COURTS have those protection orders, Heather!”
The crowd throws a few more beer cans and hotdog wrappers at The Nickleman as he complicates the morality of their favorite XWF champion. Meanwhile, Charlie Nickles steps away from the ropes and begins walking towards the center of the ring.
Now with Jimson having taught Alias his first lesson at March Madness, I figure I oughta’ teach Alias his second lesson here tonight. So, Alias: end that egotrip of yours and listen close, take notes even. I know you’re back there, mocking me with your little Lance, watching the greatest champion in today’s XWF take control of this show. Just be quiet, for a moment, and digest this truth.
PC: “I wonder what Charlie’s lesson plan is!”
HHL: “I can tell you what it is, Pip: something really stupid and pointless.”
The audience jeers incessantly as The Nickleman takes a second to collect his thoughts. Charlie caresses Goldi's center plate with the hand holding her against his chest.
The XWF Television Heavyweight Wrestling Championship is the most prestigious belt in the world. This has been true for all time, but now, after 139 consecutive days of professional wrestling excellence, this truth is damn near undeniable. Only a fool would beg to differ!”
The audience can’t help but jeer in unison- exactly what Charlie was looking for.
See- I told you! Only fools would argue, and sure enough, I was immediately proven right! Just. Like. Always.
Since Goldi and I were reunited at Bad Medicine the TV championship has been defended more often than any other title in the XWF, from the universal belt to the freestyle belt! I took this TV championship off the #5 ranked wrestler in the world, and since then I've turned each and every opp into a pack. Federation legends like Centurion have failed to take this belt from me. Fan favorites like Ruby have failed to take this belt from me. Hot-as-habanero newcomers like Raion Kido have failed to take this belt from me. Child molesting, axe-murdering madmen like Micheal Graves have failed to take this belt from me. Everyone has failed to take this belt from me, but not for a lack of effort. They try…they try so, so hard. But no one has accomplished the Sisyphean task of separating me from my Goldi, and I don’t think anyone ever will. Reggie Estrada damn sure won’t do it tonight.
PC: “He has a point, you know!”
Charlie Nickles wipes some excess saliva away from his lips as he continues to pace around the ring.
HHL: “He’s insane.”
The crowd never ceases to deride The Nickleman as he continues his public self-fellation.
But the Television title isn’t the most prestigious championship solely because it is defended at least twice as often as every other belt. It’s also because of the way it is defended each and every show! I mean, have you SEEN my match stipulations? They’re insane, and insanely popular!
Hell in a Cell, Stripper on a Pole.
Rooftop Clatter Spectacular.
Hangman’s Match.
Grave’s Graveyard Match.
Barbed-Wire Deathmatch.
Special guest referees.
Lighttube Deathmatch.
The best match stipulations. Against the best talent. That’s what I bring to the table, each and every week. That’s why I am the top-dog in the XWF. That’s why I am the greatest champion in all of professional wrestling! Not Alias, not Corey Smith, not Ned Kaye….ME!
So bow down, all of you! In the back and in the rafters alike. Get down on your knees and BOW before your Prophet of BOB! Get down on your knees and WORSHIP your TV GOD!
The boos grow more intense than ever. The whole building is damn near shaking from the endless echoes of derision.
The Nickleman stands tall in the valley of his detractors, he stands tall and he stands proud as YOUR XWF TELEVISION GOD! My might and my wrath have been proven, TIME and TIME again on this very program! I am the best champion in all of professional wrestling, my Goldi is the center of the universe, and Alias can eat shit if he begs to differ.
PC: “These are fighting words from Charlie Nickles!”
HHL: “I can’t believe he’s really calling himself the TV God now. I thought ‘The Nickleman’ was bad enough.”
I know Alias has been bitching and moaning backstage, whining for a shot at my TV championship. Now, I just want everyone at home to think for a minute: why would Alias be so concerned about my Goldi? I mean, he’s the UNIVERSAL champion, isn’t he?
Well, in name he is. But in truth? In truth my championship is the only belt in this federation that REALLY matters! Even Alias knows this, that’s why he’s licking his chops for a shot to trade away his piece of junk for a real golden ticket! Well, Alias is in luck.
You see folks, as fate would have it, Alias is currently ranked #1 on the XWF TV title rankings! And Charlie Nickles is a fighting champion. That means Alias is entitled to his shot at greatness any time and any place of his choosing!
The crowd gasps in shock as Charlie announces the terms of Alias’s #1 contendership to the TV championship.
So come on out pussycat, and claim your shot right here and right now! If you want to give these fans Nickles vs Alias Chapter 3 right here tonight…I AM FUCKING GAME!
The crowd goes absolutely nuts as Charlie challenges Alias to a championship fight on this very Savage.
The crowd goes even nuttier when ALIAS’s name starts flashing on the X-tron! As soon as the name starts flashing a multi-color light display goes off all across the arena!
AND FIREWORKS!
Charlie looks like he’s about to piss his pants in the middle of the ring! He’s biting his fingers, he’s running around from rope to rope, he’s absolutley petrified!
PC: “ALIAS could be coming out here tonight, right now, to confront Charlie Nickles! The fanfare is real!”
HHL: “The REAL champ is here! Charlie looks scared….AND HE SHOULD BE!”
A minute goes by.Nothing happens, nobody comes out.
Charlie pretends to look shocked in the middle of the ring.
Then the lights go back to normal and the X-tron cuts out. Charlie stops his acting and comes to a standstill in the middle of the ring.
PC: “Wait, where’s ALIAS?!”
HHL: “I’m not sure he’s coming out, Pip. This might be another of Charlie’s tricks.”
Charlie wipes a smirk off his face before bringing the mic back up to his lips. The crowd boos him with insane heat as they realize they just got played.
Ohh….were you expecting someone to come out here? Haha! NAH! Alias is all talk and no show, in fact, THERE’S NOT A SINGLE PERSON ON THIS ROSTER MAN ENOUGH TO COME OUT HERE AND CONFRONT ME RIGHT NOW!
Reggie Estrada isn’t man enough to do it, he knows I’m murdering him later tonight, he doesn’t want to speed up the timeline!
Who’s next, Lance? LANCE?! Folks let me tell you the news about Lance! I have four racks out on his head, whoever finds Lance and brings him to The Nickleman gets $4,000 dollars, paid in full and in BarnCoin! I’m going to find that pussyboy, but he’s hiding, so he’s not going to come out here and confront me!
Who’s next? Centu- oh wait, I forgot. What about Ru-, nope. Elij-ahhh, that won’t work.
It looks like I’ve ran through damn near every name Saturday night has to offe-
The music suddenly stops as the arena goes black.
We will Rock You blast throughout the arena as smoke rises from the stage. Charlie raises a curious eyebrow as he lowers his own microphone and looks towards the entrance rampe. Ringmaster appears from behind the curtain as the lights pop on and he dances his way down to the ring. Ringmaster reaches his hand out taking a microphone before rolling into the ring. The newcomer looks the Nickleman up and down with a smirk.
Ringmaster: My apologies champ for coming out and stealing the spotlight. I assure you though I’ve come out to show respect to the greatest Television Champion in XWF history.
He twirls the microphone in his hand as he circles the champion as a predator does to his prey. The crowd isn’t sure what will happen next but they are paying attention. Charlie Nickles is all smiles after hearing Ringmaster state his reason for crashing the show.
Ringmaster: However, that being said I think your ranking system SUCKS.
There’s a huge pop from the crowd! Charlie Nickles takes a step back and places a hand over his chest, clearly offended by the remarks.
I agree that everyone deserves an opportunity but it should be based on talent alone. Rumor has it you’re a fighting champion and never turn down an opportunity to prove why you’re one the best so let me cut to the point champ. The last thing ALIAS wants to do is take that television title away from you. Why would he? The man has the greatest belt of them all. So with ALIAS clearly out of the picture for now I say we give the fans what they want…..Ringmaster vs Charlie Nickles for the Television Championship next Savage….unless you're scared of course but keep in mind I can manhandle anyone without breaking a sweat and it’s time for XWF to have a new breakout star so what do you say champ?
Ringmaster lowers his mic allowing the champion a moment to answer. Nickles spits on the ground near Ringmaster before responding.
Just who the fuck do you think you are, waltzing in here like some big man on campus and demanding a shot at the best championship belt in all of wrestling?!?! MY championship belt!?!? All the while saying ALIAS has a belt you think is better? If you like Alias’s belt so much then you should go fight him for his!
Nickles lowers his microphone amid a crescendo of boos from the audience. Ringmaster goes to raise his microphone once more, but Charlie places a hand on Ringmaster’s forearm and prevents him from doing so. Charlie raises his own microphone back up to his lips instead.
But you can’t, can you? Because Alias isn’t a fighting champion. You can’t just walk right up to him and demand a match on the spot. He’s not a people’s champion like The Nickleman. Alias is never here on Saturday nights, he has no presence on the greatest wrestling show of them all.
So I’ll tell you what, Mr. Big Black and Cocky…
The Nickleman looks the much bigger Ringmaster up and down.
Today’s your lucky day. I’m feeling generous, you know, with the Easter holiday coming up. I’ve destroyed every legitimate challenger we could find for my championship…I suppose I have time to fit in an illegitimate challenger every now and again, just to show Alias how it’s done!
PC: “Now that’s a true champion right there!”
HHL: “Shut up, Pip.”
The Ringmaster raises a skeptical eyebrow as Charlie Nickles extends a hand.
HHL: “Oh no don’t do it Ringmaster, don’t you shake that hand: Charlie Nickles is a snake in the grass!”
PC: “The champion is just trying to be a good sport, Heather!”
I’ll be seeing you again on April 30th, young man.
Ringmaster shakes Charlie’s hand and the two exchange smiles before Charlie pats Ringmaster’s bicep a few times. Then, Charlie breaks off the handshake and heads towards the ropes. Charlie drops the microphone as he steps between the ropes and exits the ring without further ado.
HHL: “Wow, I’m actually shocked. Charlie usually uses moments like that as an opportunity for a dirty attack!”
PC: “The champion is turning a new leaf!”
HHL: “Oh, I doubt THAT!”
Charlie Nickles turns back to look at Ringmaster while rubbing his championship belt. The Nickleman walks backwards up the entrance ramp as he and Ringmaster exchange increasingly harsh words from increasingly further distances.
PC: “It looks like Ringmaster has just earned himself a shot at the TV championship later this month!”
HHL: “Assuming Reggie doesn’t take the belt home with him tonight, Pip! Remember, Charlie isn’t guaranteed to walk out of here with his Goldi!”
PC: “Don’t tell Charlie that! He might just kill you!”
Skips onto the stage as the song begins, she looks around with her hand above her eyes bent at the waist. Once the music starts again she prances around the stage. When the refrain kicks in she claps her hands over her head skipping down to the ring as strobes flash in time to the beat. Stepping up to the apron she does the splits sliding under the ropes. As the song continues she mounts the turnbuckle creepy smile on her face and waves like a little girl.
Kris Cruze struts down to the ring with that sexy MF'er swag as the crowd cheers on the funny jester!
PIP: "What is wrong with these people!? This idiot is a menace to the XWF! Did you see what he did at his last job!? You have to wonder WHY Vinnie Lane would hire such a controversial figure, just one year removed from his own sex scandal that nearly brought Anarchy to its knees!"
HHL: "I... Have to agree with you, actually, Pip..."
PIP: "You must be getting tired of always being wrong, huh!?"
Ethan from Little Caesar's Pizza stepped out onto the stage. His mutilated mouth hole was covered by a surgical mask. Ethan looked very nervous to be in front of so many people, but he had a job to do, and it paid damn well. With greed feeling his courage, Ethan brought the microphone to his lips mask. [/white]
"Ladies and gentlemen, it brings me great honor to introduce to you the man who is going to rock Kris Cruze's world tonight! He's your pal and mine, he's the new "Hot'N'Ready Champion, Harmon Grayson Hays!"
PIP: "Did you hear THAT Heather!? The Hot'N'Ready Champion! Is this a title match!?"
Drew, Rob, and a couple of nameless employees march onto the stage carrying a Roman Litter. They are all dressed in diamond crested Little Caesar's Pizza replica uniforms and look much happier than when we last saw them. Sitting atop the Litter in a fine plaid toga complete with a golden pizza slice encrusted crown, HGH waves to the crowd and receives a mixed reaction in turn!
PIP: "How can any of these people boo HGH!? The guy is a humanitarian! He gifted that BUTT-ugly kid 25k to get his face fixed!"
HHL: "HGH doesn't do anything out of the kindness of his heart, PIP, and some of these people can see right through his so-called good deeds! Just look at how he's exploiting the employees of Little Caesar's!"
PIP: "EXPLOITING!? Pffffft! They've never had it so good, Heather! HGH is pulling these guys out of obscurity and gifting them with a night of the glitz and glamor that is the XWF!"
HHL: "Or he's just flashing his money to get idiots like you to support him and think that he's such a swell guy!"
The Ceaser men line the Litter up with the ring apron and kneel as Ethan holds the ropes open for HGH to enter the ring!
HGH
- vs -
KRIS KRUZE
- vs -
ASH Q. TRIPLE THREAT - SAVAGE RULES
KRIS CRUZE LEVELS HGH WITH A CLOTHESLINE BEFORE HE CAN STEP THROUGH THE ROPES!
HHL: "Hey! Kris Cruze has apparently seen enough!"
BOOS FOR CRUZE AS HE DIVES TO THE OUTSIDE AND CONTINUES THE ASSAULT!
PIP: "This match hasn't even started, and already we have a man throwing shoes! I LOVE IT!"
Indeed, Little Caesar Rob just threw his "Wal-Mart shoe" with every bit of force he could muster directly at his former employee, Kris Cruze's head.
He missed by a mile... Classic Rob... Derderp! :-/
HHL: "Fortunately FOR that for him, his aim isn't very on point!"
Rob throws the other shoe AND it connects slap dab to the side of Kris's head! Oh, he looks PISSED as he climbs off of HGH and sets his sights on pizza [s]boy[/b] man Rob!
Rob backs away, begging Kris Cruze off as he marches towards him!
PIP: "You should have kept those shoes velcroed tight old man! I KNOW he saw what Cruze did to his buddy Ethan's mouth hole!"
Cruze grabs Rob by the diamond-encrusted collar of his mock LC shirt and draws his fist back as he talks smack to the cowering old man!
*SMACK*
HHL: "Ash Q just rocked Kris Cruze's world with a Superkick!"
PIP: "And looked pretty damn fine doing so!"
HHL: "Don't get yourself canceled, PIP!"
PIP: "WHAT!?! It was a damn fine kick!"
Ash helps HGH to his feet and the two seem to form a temporary alliance! They march up to Cruze, who is on all fours, and begin clubbing and stomping the crap out of him before picking him up and dumping him into the ring! HGH removes his toga with great irritation as Ash slides into the ring. HGH enters behind her and our official calls for the bell as Ash and HGH continue the assault on Kris Cruze!
HHL: "They're not giving Kris Cruze even a moment to breathe!"
As Ash continues to stomp, she doesn't notice HGH step back.
PIP: "You know what the number one rule in matches like these is?"
HHL: "What's that?"
HGH steps forward with a clobbering forearm to the back of Ash Q's head! She stumbles forward as HGH gives chase with shot after shot until finally, she drops to her knees and HGH floors her with a running knee! HGH dusts his hands laughing as the crowd boos and it just makes HGH laugh even more!
HHL: "Harmon may be wasting too much time messing with the fans!"
Suddenly, and totally out of nowhere... Sorry... OUTTA NOWHERE, Kris Cruze devastates HGH with the General Moveset! HGH is reeled by the sudden blindsiding high flying move! Kris Cruze isn't done though! He hits the ropes and rebounds as HGH steps to his feet, hitting him with the totally different but no less impressive General Moveset! HGH hits the mat hard as Kris hooks the leg!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Cruze jumps up to argue with the referee, but turns right into a Superkick from Ash! Cruze crumbles to the mat as Ash makes the cover!
1!
2!!
HGH BREAKS THE FALL WITH A DIVING AXE HANDLE!
Vinnie Lane: "Hey hombre, is Kris Cruze WOWING the world yet or what?"
PIP: "AND NOW, a special treat! XWF Principle Owner Vinne Lane, joining us on commentary here at Savage!"
HHL: "Suck up!"
PIP: "NEVER!"
Vinnie Lane: "Wait, it's not Thursday!?"
PIP: "Uhh? No, it's Saturday, hence... Savage?"
Vinnie Lane: "..."
HGH is first to his feet, and he leads Ash to hers before whipping her into the ropes! HGH looking for a backdrop on the rebound, but Ash Q pumps the breaks and catches him with a swift kick to the face! HGH staggers back as Ash breezes by him, rebounding on the ropes and catching "Letters" with a Bulldog! Ash hooks the leg!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
HHL: "Oh!!! Not enough!"
Ash Q rises to her feet looking to work over HGH, but she's met by a recovered Kris Cruze who sneaks up from behind with his trademark General Moveset! It is clearly a standard maneuver found in many's arsenals, but it is the artistic-like passion that he delivers each and every one of his moves that make them all so impactful and effective. The effectiveness of that particular General Moveset is evident by how Ash rolls under the bottle rope for safety, but misjudged the edge and plops off to the rubber pads with a sick thud!
Kris Cruze turns his attention back to HGH who has pulled himself up into a far corner. The two stare down as Cruze smiles wide and puffs his chest. Tommy Slavino stands below HGH on the outside shouting advice. HGH takes note and pushes out of the corner. HGH and Cruze stand face to face in the middle of the ring. Cruze is all smiles and talking shit, but HGH just stares him down until he's had enough!
HHL: "Rockin' right hand from HGH!"
Indeed it was, but Kris wasn't one to back down and fired back with a solid straight right of his own and that quickly led to an all-out brawl as the two circled the ring just pounding the living hell out of each other until HGH just the right position to hide from the referee that he-
HHL: "HGH with a thumb to the eye! I don't think the official even saw!"
Kris cups his eye and backs away as Tommy Slavino hops the apron like he's going to come in, distracting the official as HGH thumbs the other eye!
PIP: "I've gotta admit, that's a pretty good strategy! If he can't see, he can't fight!"
Slavino's eyes widen just before he's snatched off of the apron and thrown into the barricade, which totally does way more damage to him than your typical wrestler since he's just a manager!
HHL: "I bet Tommy's wishing he'd kept his nose out of this match right about now!"
Ash slides into the ring and HGH charges for her!
HHL: "SHOCKER!"
Ash Q catches HGH with the Codebreaker and quickly heads for the top rope!
HHL: "I think we all know what Ash Q is looking for!"
PIP: "What!? No! I don't! Explain it to the class, Heather!"
Ash Q sets her sights on the downed HGH and leaps from the top rope!
HHL: "HELLFIRE!"
The Senton takes a little out of her as well, which opens her up for a running General Moveset from the recovered Kris Cruze! The smiles and jokes are gone! Kris isn't playing now! he snatches Ash off of the mat and lifts her high into the air before slamming her hard as Hell with an impactful General Moveset! As quickly as they were gone, the jokes are back as the "Bi-Polar Bi-Sexual" struts the ring and plays with his package while pointing at the still downed HGH!
HHL: "You've got to be wondering what he's thinking, PIP!"
PiP: "Oh, I've been wondering this entire match!"
Kris Cruze wastes too much time taunting HGH, allowing Ash to pull him, feet first, out of the ring where she hits a Codebreaker!
PIP: "Shocker!"
Ash Q goes to get back in the ring but, as she's climbing through the ropes, HGH pops to his feet and sets her up for a Hammerlock DDT! Upon connecting with it, he transitions into a Fujiwara Armbar, immediately forcing his opponent to tap out before Kris Cruze can get back in the ring!!!!!!
Winner by submission, HGH
Cruze tries to approach HGH, who quickly rolls out of the ring and joins his manager. The two of them celebrate their way up the ramp as Savage cuts to a commercial break.
Rampage walks out to the ring amidst a mixed reaction from the crowd. The giant man steps onto the apron of the ring and over the top rope before heading towards his respective corner.
PC: “Rampage is a big man and a big name in the XWF, he’s a tough match-up for anyone!”[/white
HHL: “We have not heard much from Rampage these last few weeks. That could mean he’s been building up all his anger for this match!”
Ring Master hits the entrance ramp as his music blares out loud. The crowd pops unexpectedly for the XWF newcomer as he enters the ring.
HHL: “Earlier tonight Ring Master went down to the ring and challenged Charlie Nickles to a match! The fans remember his bravery, and they want to see him beat Rampage tonight!”
[white]PC: “Rampage himself is a former TV champion, Heather, so if Ring Master can get a win here he could very well prove he has a shot against Charlie!
RAMPAGE
- vs -
RING MASTER STANDARD MATCH - SAVAGE RULES
The bell rings and the match is off to an incredibly fast start. Ring Master and Rampage, two huge men in their own rights, charge towards the center of the ring like a pair of battling bulls. The two wrestlers tie up and begin vying for control. Rampage is a good bit bigger than Ring Master, however, and soon enough Rampage starts pushing Ring Master back into the corner. Ring Master digs his heels into the mat and tries to hold his ground in the tie-up, but it’s no use! Rampage is just too big and too strong, so Ring Master feels his back touching the turnbuckle pads!
Rampage pushes Ring Master firmly into the corner before he starts unloading on him with knife chops to the chest. Three knife chops connect back-to-back, each accompanied by a howl of pain from the victim. Rampage wears a devilish grin as he follows up the three chops with a big boot to the gut that forces Ring Master to take a seat in the corner.
PC: “Rampage is off to a red-hot start here tonight! This isn’t looking good for Ring Master!”
HHL: “Ring Master needs to get some offense on the boards, and quickly!”
Rampage puts his boot on Ring Master’s throat and starts applying immense pressure. Rampage keeps the chokehold up until the referee gives him a warning and forces him to step back. Rampage reluctantly backs up and begins exchanging a few words with the referee while a nearly blue Ring Master holds his throat and tries to regain his breath in the corner.
Eventually Rampage tires of the referee and pushes the small man out of the way. Rampage walks back over to the corner and reaches down to pick up Ring Master- but the master of the ring was ready for him! A seated Ring Master kicks Rampage’s knee, buckling it, and forcing Rampage down on one knee. For good follow up, Ring Master slaps the shit out of Rampage with a powerful backhand that sends him rolling away! Ring Master then uses the middle ropes to pull himself up to a standing position while Rampage continues to roll around on the mat after being backhanded!
PC: “What a turn of events for the newcomer! We’ll see if he can capitalize!”
HHL: “I’m sure that backhand tasted like a ton of bricks, but Rampage needs to get back up quickly!”
Ring Master follows Rampage as the big man tries to pull himself up by the ropes. Ring Master slaps Rampage in the back of the head before kicking that very same knee out once more, preventing Rampage from standing. Ring Master then puts his arm around Rampage’s throat and begins walking the man towards the center of the ring. Then Ring Master hits a reverse DDT that shakes the ring and drops his opponent!
Ring Master hooks the legs and goes for the pin!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
Rampage gets a shoulder up, forcing Ring Master to slide off of him. Rampage gets up to his hands and knees and starts crawling back towards the ropes. Ring Master is quickly back on him with a flurry of kicks to the midsection that halt all of Rampage’s progress. Once Rampage is stopped Ring Master begins circling him until standing still near Rampage’s head. Once there Ring Master delivers precisely one curb stomp to the back of Rampage’s head before lifting the drowsy big man up to his feet. A small trickle of blood is running down Rampage’s nose as the Ring Master forcibly holds him up.
PC: “This isn’t a good spot for Rampage to be in, he might be on dream street right now!”
HHL: “If he’s not there now he might be going there soon!”
With a satisfied smirk, Ring Master picks his opponent up, holding them vertical for five seconds before bringing Rampage down and slamming his body on top of Rampage as they hit the mat! After that, Ring Master lays confidently on top of Rampage for the pin!
PC: “THAT’S GOT TO BE IT!”
HHL: “OF COURSE THAT’S IT, PIP! RING MASTER JUST HIT HIS SIGNATURE SLAM OF FURY ON RAMPAGE!”
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by PINFALL - Ring Master
The crowd goes nuts as the referee raises Ring Master’s hand after the match. Ring Master celebrates in the ring while Rampage slowly starts coming to. After some time spent basking in the praise from the fans, Ring Master rolls out of the ring and starts walking towards the back. The whole way up, Ring Master is shaking hands and giving high fives to the front-row fans.
HHL: “This was a huge win for Ring Master here tonight. He defeated a former TV champion and he remained undefeated!”
PC: “Charlie Nickles is going to have his hands full with Ring Master on April 30th, that’s for sure!”
We see in the backstage locker room, where we see posters of Charlie Nickels on the wall, where someone was smearing red paint over the wall, then we see Gnarlie donning a rustic old Nickels Mankind mask, as he holds a foam version of Television title that a woman similar to Charlie’s ex wife retrieve it from, as he screams at her she hands it back to him as she was scared as he speaks.
Gnarlie: FUCK OFF BONNIE… TAKE THE BITCH ASS KIDS WITH YOU AS WELL!
Bonnie: Bu– Butt… we had
Gnarlie: FUCK OFF, I AM HERE WITH MY BITCH GOLDIE!! AHHAHAHAH!
Then Reggie bangs his fist on the wall, and Bonnie then runs off as he swings Goldie in the air and laughs evilly. Then he eyes his foam TV title, and he caresses it, and even kisses it like it was his own wife.
Gnarlie: Look at me, look at the man who’s obsessed with my so-called Television Championship, the belt that I proclaim as my goldie. This belt is my bitch, and she’s my pimp who I simp for hard!
Reggie then whips the foam straps on his back as he moans in pleasure, even to the point he tries to strangle himself with it as well. Then one of the security men tries to stop him, but he goes on a rampage hitting them with chairs, tables, and other things that were bolted to the ground. Then he grabs one of the stooge guards, and he grabs his head and stabs his head with a spike until he bleeds. Then Gnarlie pulls off the mask, and wears it over the stooge’s bloody face, and punches him until he stops.
Reggie: Fun and games are over, you think that this is a fucking game Charlie? You think that I am easy fucking pickins to have a win over me? Think again, motherfucker pendejo, you think that you will have a breeze in your fucking deathmatch stipulation; and that shit anit happening tonight. I don’t give a fuck about that timer going to zero for all I fucking care, and you somehow retain it out of a technically; i’ve watched enough WCW TV title bouts to know that it will be in the champs favor to retain the belt if the clock reaches to zero.
Charlie, you might as well be sent to the morgue after I am done with you, I don’t promise you that it will be an open fuckin casket. I am going to get geto and fucked up in this shit, and I won’t back down against you. I will make you wish that you weren’t in my pathway, and you will see your career flash before your eyes.
Oyo y Oyo…. is what they say..
This will be a mess of epic shit, and I will not be safe in that ring. Who says that I am the “safe” worker, I am here to tear da ring up!
Then he stomps the shit out of the stooge, until Reggie leaves the scene as the EMT comes in to tend to his wounds as the next segment occurs.
Savage comes back from commercial as Charlie ho-hummed his way through the bowels of the locker room, snapping his fingers and humming a tune. His title belt over his shoulder, and a snarky grin on his face. He knew exactly where he was going, and the confidence oozed from his stride. He stops at a door sitting in the middle of the hallway. He smiles as he stops and the camera pans to the door with the big purple and yellow lettering. On it said “VISITATIONPOD”. He smiled a toothless grin and gave a thumbs up to the camera.
Knocking on the door with his knuckle, he doesn't wait for an answer. He opens the door and strides into the dark and moldy room where we almost instantly hear giggling. Like a child laughing. This seems to pique his interest as he works his way deeper into the room, surrounded by total darkness.
"Jenzies....I know you're in here......"
More giggling. This time it was seemingly coming from all angles, as if the childish giggles were coming from some sort of PA system in the room.
Charlie keeps walking until he gets to another door. This one says "PLAYGROUND".
"Bingo"
He opens the door and we get more light, though dim. Jenny is tossing something up in the air, and giggling every time she catches it. She tosses it up and it goes behind her, and she has to adjust he positioning by spinning her chair around. She kicks it up with her foot and catches it, giggling and clapping as she does.
"Charles. Hello! Did you sign the guest book?"
"What guest book?"
She tosses a Little Mermaid coloring book at him, as it lands on the table in front of where he stands.
"Maybe he's right
Maybe there is something the matter with me
I just don't see how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad" she starts singing as she tosses the object up again.
Charlie looks at the book, then back at her.
She catches the object, still singing.
"Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has everything?"
"You mind?" as he signals to the chair across her desk.
"By all means"
He sits down, putting the title belt on the table for her to see.
"Gonna be blunt here Jenzies.....you have something that I want"
"Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you'd think
Sure, she's got everything"
"Sing your replies all you wish with your child-like demeanor, I like it. But....I KNOW, deep down, that I have something you want as well, even if you deny it like hell."
He motions his head to the belt sitting between them.
".....and it can be yours. All yours. But I am going to need something for my match with Alias, and if agree to help me out here.....
She slaps the table hard, looking deep into his eyes with a twisted grin. She tilts her head to the side, analyzing him. He shoots her gaze to the Television Title.
"It is pretty" she whispers, running a black nail polished finger over it.
"Yes mam...she's a real dime. And just imagine how you could dress her up, make her yours, unique."
She goes back to signing.
"I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
You want thingamabobs?
I've got twenty!
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more"
He smiles.
"And I think you know what I want.....
She tosses the the object up again, catching it whilst singing. Just as she finishes the word "more", she slams her hand, with the object in it, down on the table. Moving her hand, we see it is Charlie's ear.
"I have been keeping it safe for you. It hasn't even decomposed...much. You want to take my favorite toy? My trophy prize...the ONE thing I have that keeps you needing Jenny Myst...."
She smiles.
"YOU want what I have, Charlie. Your belt is pretty, sure, and I could make it prettier. But this ear, it is a symbol. It is a relic. It is the last real toy I aquired before they sent me to that shithole. I had it with me, ya know. I kept it with me for those months in solitude. I kept it as motivation that I would some day get out of there. A little piece of the XWF that I could hold on to forever......"
Charlie knew he needed to tread lightly here.
"Jenzies I....."
"You leave this toy here, with me."
She puts her other hand on the title belt.
"I will keep it safe, like I kept this safe. I'll hold this for you, until you need it again...."
Charlie raised and eye-brow.
"Leave my title belt here....with you?"
"Mmmmmhmmmmm"
He stands up. "Not gonna happen, blondi. I'll get that ear back one way or another. I have been in your corner since day one Mysty, and this is how you repay me?"
He shakes his head.
"I'll be back next week for the ear....and best believe I will be walking out of here with it. We can do it the easy way or the hard way, and I think I know which one we both prefer......
He walks away, snatching the belt back and putting it over his shoulder. As he leaves Jenny continues to sing.
"When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love, love to explore that shore up above?
Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of that world"
Pip: What the hell did we just watch?
Savage cuts back to the ring
The Candaiians leap to their feet as Bloody Tears blasts through the P.A. system. The VinnieJullietteLane-Tron flares to life with footage of a long line of people either getting rolled up or tapped out as Vita Valenteen walks out onto the stage…wearing a #AtlantaScrewjob2022 t-shirt over her gear.
HHL: A BIG ovation for Vita Valenteen!
PIP: And she looks as pumped as the crowd does, Double-H-L!
HHL: And it’s so nice to see that she is helping to raise money for Chaz’ hospital bills.
PIP: Such a sweetheart.
Vita bounds up and down on the balls of her feet as she stands on the entranceway, her head moving back and forth at the crowd. With a smile on her face, she quickly moves down the aisle, taking time to move back and forth along the way in order to engage with as many fans as possible, handing out slaps, handshakes, and air kisses. More than one of the younger male fans hold their necks out in hopes of being bitten, and while there is certainly a hunger in Vita’s eyes, the Vampiric Teenage Dream is able to keep herself in check. She slides into the ring and continues to make motions toward the crowd, egging them on, happy with the reception. But as her music fades out, the smile slips from her face and she looks towards the back with a sternness.
HHL: Over the last couple of weeks, the red-hot Vita Valenteen has made her displeasure with her opponent known, Pip.
PIP: ‘Displeasure’ is putting it mildly! I think she’s more mad about what happened at March Madness that anyone else!
EYES
ON
VAUGHNEMOUS
NO, I WON'T GIVE IN, I WON'T GIVE IN
TILL' I'M VICTORIOUS
AND I WILL DEFEND
I WILL DEFEND
The lights in the Belle Centre turn into an explosion of pinks, purples, greens, rainbows, unicorns on fire, lucky charms, rivers of sugar, and mountains of Meow Mix Ocean Explosion tuna treats as Angelica Vaughn walks out onto the ramp. She pauses with her hands on her hips, letting her cape sway gently, and gives her opposite coast home crowd a wide smile. Behind her, a blur of black and red speeds forward and under her arms as Sarah Lacklan slides in front of her and matches her pose, her head nearly a full foot under Angie's. Sarah tilts her head way wayway back and up and, with a smile brighter than AR12192’s massive 2700 microhemispheres, and the two wink at each other. Angie then takes her hands off her hips and pushes Sarah forward, making the former Universal Champion squawk in surprise…even though they’ve done this entrance multiple times at this stage…and the two make their way down the aisle.
Halfway there, Angie slows to a stop, her face turning slack, with her jaw falling to her chin. Ahead of her, Sarah sighs and rolls her eyes before backing up to Angie and, with a gentle firmness, pulling her away from that Cute Boy she had noticed sitting in an aisle seat. This quantifiable Cute Boy, clearly a Candian wrestling fan, is wearing an “OBVS!” t-shirt, one of those new XWF Vita Valenteen kerchiefs that make it look like you have two bite holes in your neck, and the super-duper brand new “The Hitman broke my 💔😭” arm band.
Once at ringside, Sarah slides into the ring underneath the ropes as Angie climbs the steps. Sarah gets to her feet and pulls down the top rope with all her weight, allowing Angie to step over the top rope like the most giant of giant wrestlers. As Angie walks to the center of the ring and stands with her hands on her hips, Sarah takes a microphone from Tigs and gives her a big wink.
SARAH:Bonjour, Québécois! Je m'appelle Sarah Lacklan-
The crowd pops HUGE for Sarah’s flawless French accent.
SARAH:Le meilleur coach de vie au monde-
HHL: Sarah sucking up to the crowd…
PIP: Hey, it’s canon.
SARAH:-and I am to introduce to you the very FIRST member of the Family First of the XWF..and don’t forget that the NEXT one will be revealed at Madness so that SOMEONE axly turns into that show…and my absolute (non-spouse) #RideOrDie. With an XWF record of two wins, one loss, and one super dumb asterix wherein she was booked for a match at an event she didn’t sign up for, for a title she doesn’t want, to represent a brand she doesn’t wrestle on…
HHL: …couldn't let it go, huh?
PIP: Sarah’s gotta Sarah!
SARAH:-she is standing at the (forever and always) totes-too-tall height of five feet and eleven inches...
CROWD: BAY-BAY
SARAH:...and weighing in today at about one third of our biggest bro Shinji…and because she likes dumb, useless, God-awful farm chores-
Sarah shutters in disgust.
SARAH:-she is fighting out of the I G A-
Angie glares at Sarah, because this joke is STILL one of my favorites.
SARAH:...er...I mean...fighting out of the Supes Totes Amaze Ranch in Texas...but born RIGHT HERE in Canda...
The crowd pops for the other-coast-but-still-hometown-hero-status.
SARAH:...she is the Leggy Blonde of Legend...current Cat Mom and future Cat Lady…the FUN-raiser of the XWF...the Vaughnemous A.N.G…
The crowd waits patiently as Sarah takes a deep breath.
SARAH:ANGELICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Angie raises her hands into the air as a bedazzled spotlight shines down on her.
SARAH:VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
The crowd breaks out into a chant as Angie leads them with pumps of her arms.
HHL: Another truly epic introduction for Angie Vaughn by her sister Sarah Lacklan.
PIP: At least they’re here, this time.
HHL: Hey, now!
PIP: That’s one of the things Vita complained about, HHL. The former Universal Champion puts a lot of effort into the promotion of Angie Vaughn, but we haven’t quite seen her match that leve.
HHL: Hmmm….usually Sarah has left the ring and taken her place in Angie’s corner by now.
PIP: She’s still got the mic and is looking at Vita?
Indeed, Sarah is still in the center of the ring and has locked eyes with Vita. The OBVS! chant ended, the crowd begins to grow listless, wondering about the delay. A smile curls up Sarah’s face and she points a finger at Vita.
SARAH:And her opponent!
HHL: Well, this is new!.
PIP: And the crowd likes this. Big pop!
SARAH:Hailing from just down the street in Toronto…standing at the WAY more appropriate, and let’s face it, PERFECT height of five feet and two inches…and weighing in tonight at…oh…
Sarah gives Vita a hard lookover…and then motions for her to turn around. Vita sighs and turns in place so that Sarah can make a full assessment.
SARAH:...about three and a half Edwards…because Mister Sparkle was a skinny lil’ bitch…and while I have ZERO idea of what her overall XWF record could POSSIBLY be…because not everyone is as supes helpful like I am with my craxily-maintained biography page…I CAN say that she’s on one HECK of a winning streak…
The crowd pops for Vita, who smiles wide.
SARAH:...mind you, MY personal winning streak is thirteen in a row.
Sarah smiles wide as Vita scowls…but then Angie sticks her long long LONG neck out to reach Sarah’s microphone.
ANGIE:But, didn’t you ALSO tabs lose, like, seven in a row that same year, little big Sis?
SARAH:LET US NOT DWELL ON THE PAST
Angie’s smile is full of fun as she slowly shortens her neck…all the while Vita can’t help but stare at it hungrily. But then she remembers that the position of Vampiric Thrall was presently filled and her hunger faded.
SARAH:N-E-Ways…she is the Vivacious…Versatile…Vibrant…Vociferous…Vampiric…
The crowd goes appropriately insane as Vita pulls the #AtlantaScrewjob2022 shirt over her head. She tosses it into the crowd and smiles as a gaggle of children scramble for the charitable purchase to ensure the welfare of Chaz Bono. Hopefully he’ll be able to get out of that hospital that the mean, vicious, overreacting Money Oswald put him in so that he can spend the holiday with his poor wife and children.
VITA VALENTEEN
- vs -
ANGIE VAUGHN STANDARD MATCH - 1 RP
DING! DING! DING!
As Sarah FINALLY gets out of the ring after yet again making an Angelica Vaughn match about her, the referee brings Angie and Vita to the center. Said referee, unnamed because this isn't Anarchy…and who happens to be wearing an I Stand With Chaz armband, just like the rest of the referees tonight, even if that isn’t mentioned by any other floating head narrator…goes over the usual rules of a clean wrestling match: No hair-pulling, eye-gouging, back-racks, low-blows, etc. Somewhere, likely deep within his volcanic lair, Generic Heel feels attacked. But right here in the heart of technical wrestling brilliance, the referee tells the competitors to shake hands and be prepared to fight.
Which they do.
The crowd cheers as first Angie extends a hand, and after a quick glance down at Sarah on the outside, Vita takes and shakes it. They both nod at one another in a show of sportswomanship and begin to circle one another. A quick shoot forward from both women and we have a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Vita attempts to swivel her way around Angie, but the Vaughnemous One's significant size advantage helps her stay in control. Before she knows it, Vita finds herself backed into a corner, with Angie’s forearms pressing down on her own and smothering her face. The referee begins to count them out of the corner, and Angie immediately releases the hold and backs away with her arms out wide. The crowd cheers the clean break from Angie, and Vita shoots a quick glance down at Sarah, who is lightly applauding her sister.
Vita shoots out of the corner and Angie is there to meet her, the two again engaging in the tie-up. This time, Angie's long arms swing around and bring Vita into a side headlock, her forearms immediately grinding into Vita's temple. Vita tries to squirm her way out of the hold, but Angie holds tight and continues to apply pressure. A second escape attempt also sees her go nowhere, but a third gets their backs into the ropes. The referee doesn't even get a chance to start counting before Vita is able to shoot Angie off in the other directory. Angie rebounds off the ropes, her powerful legs carrying her faster than Vita had likely expected, and Angie slams her shoulder down into Vita's and sends her to the mat. Vita's instincts kick in and she turns onto her stomach to get her shoulders off the mat, and Angie takes advantage of the situation by running against the ropes and coming in with her leg swinging. Vita's eyes go wide and she scrambles away, narrowly avoiding a Vaughemous kick and early end to the match. She then rolls herself outside the ring and to the floor taking the time to breath.
Apparently, Angie was indeed focused and ready to fight, as Vita had wanted.
Vita then sighs as she sees Sarah pull a bottle of water from somewhere within her mass of petticoats and squeeze a mouthful into a grateful Angie.
Back in the ring, Angie and Vita square off again, but this time Vita ducks low during the tie-up lead-in, instead swinging around and skipping behind Angie, her arms clutching with a rear waistlock. Angie immediately looks to slip out, but Vita applies pressure and drives air out of Angie's body, momentarily stunning her. She then sets her feet and pulls back, looking for a suplex, but Angie’s long and powerful legs are able to stop her. Vita sets her feet to hoist again, and Angie again counters, but this time it’s a feint! As Angie hooks her leg around Vita’s to block, Vita drops to the ground and rolls her body backward, taking a surprised Angie to the match with her. Just as Angie lands on her back, Vita immediately gets to her feet, but still holding onto Angie’s feet. And before Angie knows it, Vita has laced her leg in between Angie’s and looks to cross her feet for the Sharpshooter. But as Vita tries to trap the heels so that she can turn, Angie pushes up with all her might and sends Vita flying. Angie then rolls outside of the ring to take a breath.
And then she sighs as she sees Sarah pull a different bottle from another spot in the abyss that is her petticoats and squirt water into Vita’s mouth.
With a huff, Angie climbs back into the ring. They rush towards each other and-
Oh
Oh wow.
CROWD: MATCH OF THE NIGHT CLAP-CLAP-CLAPCLAPCLAP
THIS IS AWESOME CLAP-CLAP-CLAPCLAPCLAP
THIS IS WRESTLING CLAP-CLAP-CLAPCLAPCLAP
CA-NA-DA! CA-NA-DA! CA-NA-DA!
What has the crowd so enthralled? 15 minutes of intense, back-and-forth technical wrestling performed by two Canadian and/or Candaiin born and trained wrestlers. Every time Vita tries to soften up Angie’s legs with an obscure twist or hold one of the nicer, non-pediphile Harts would use, Angie is there to kick her away. Every time Angie tried to utilize her reach and pepper Vita with kicks to make Hargreaves blush with envy, our favorite vampire was able to either dodge, duck, or counter into another punishing joint hold. All the while, Sarah was there to support both, offering kind words, compliments on execution of moves, and well-wishes for potential escapes of submission or pinfall attempts. She even got the referee to call for a 60-second rest period so that she could administer more water for the two of them. Though starting with Angelica, of course. Family First, and all.
The Belle Centre shakes as we head down the stretch, the two women exchanging open-hand slaps in an attempt to stun the other long enough to take a serious advantage. No closed fists for either one, of course, as that would certainly not be in the spirit of the rules. The crowd cheers with every strike, first for one and then the other, without a single “boo” or jeer from the crowd. Even the chants of “VAUGHN-E-MOUS!” and “LET’S GO VITA!” are equal, with all members of the crowd joining in on the chants, as is good and proper from this Candaiian crowd. No reason for any of them to be rude, eh? And both Angie and Vita are spurred on by the scenario, both fighting an opponent who is observing both the spirit and letter of the fight rules, the hometown crowd appreciative of their efforts and attitudes, and the oddity that is the woman on the outside who has, shockingly, fully behaved herself tonight. This match has been everything Vita wanted to see from the woman she was angry at for not being at March Madness, and everything Angie needed to prove herself to both the XWF audience and locker room. Though, to be fair, it did have ONE extra strange moment, at least for the typical American audience:
After successfully hitting a bicycle kick, Angie once again went for the “EW!” mandible claw. She was still hesitant, however, fearful of Vita’s fangs protruding. This was silly, of course, because Vita wouldn’t do that, not in her hometown, not in front of thousand in attendance and millions watching at home. Heck. Jami would be LIVID with the hows and whys she would need to concoct in order to turn such an incident into something allowable for PR concerns. So, hesitant or not, Angie’s EW! was able to be applied correctly.
But then they slipped.
Vita, trying to back away, tripped over the feet of the referee. Down she tumbled. Down Angie tumbled. And in the ensuring tangle of limbs, a fang slipped.
ANGIE:OW!
She had, indeed, been bitten. Images of sparkling creatures of the night (that part wouldn’t be so bad, tbh; she could cut out the sparkles in her ring entrance and save the XWF some production budget. Win-Win, as they say), bad cosplayers drinking clamato, and having to sleep in a coffin danced through her head.
Meanwhile, Vita was mortified.
Vita:Shit! I didn’t mean to. Sorry!
Once Angie realized that Vita had not intended on biting her, and once Vita realized it was just a scratch, the two proceeded to apologize to the other. Profusely. Because Canadians.
I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-
No, I’m the one who should be sorry-
I’m sorry that you have to be sorry-
I’m sorry that you’re sorry about me being sorry, but I hope you don’t feel bad about how sorry I am-
The crowd LOVED it.
Because Canadians.
But, in the end, there can only be one winner.
HHL: What a match this has turned out to be, Pip!
PIP: And it’s not over yet, HHL. Here comes Angie!
HHL: Wow, what a kick! She’s been looking for that Sick Kick all night, but it keeps getting avoided. She didn’t get all of it that time, either, but it was enough to take Vita down to the mat. Angie goes for a cover and shoulder up at two!
PIP: And into a double wrist lock, H! Vita just jiu jitsu’d her way from a pinning predicament and into a keylock.
HHL: But Angie hasn’t had much damage done to her arms and she’s looking to power her way out of it. She spins and, oh it was a feint! Just as Angie was pushing out of the hold, Angie spun on her back like a turtle and put herself into position for a heel hook.
PIP: Super smart move, H! She’s been working on those legs all night, trying to weapon Angie’s tree-trunk-like legs so that she can get that Sharpshooter on. She usually wins by doing damage to the arms to set up the Embrace the Dark, but I think she’s got a point to prove in Canada this week. She wants that Sharpshooter!
HHL: But Angie’s big reach has come in handy again and she’s been able to reach the ropes. The referee forces the break…wow, Vita STILL with a clean break after all this time, they sure are fighting clean tonight…but Angie is slow to her feet. On one knee now and here comes Vita with a running knee strike!
PIP: Missed! Angie flattened herself and Vita flew right over her and to the apron outside the ring. Wow, that was craxy!
HHL: Angie getting to her feet but she doesn’t see Vita springboarding back into the ring…EAT DEFEAT!
PIP: MISSED!
HHL: Another dodge and Vita hit hard that time. She slow to get up and-
PIP: EW!
HHL: Angie with her Mandible Claw! Third time may be the charm…but her hand isn’t all the way in…maybe she’s STILL hesitant?
PIP: I’d be hesitant with putting my hand in a vampire’s mouth too, Pip. Even if they DID say they were sorry for five straight minutes!
HHL: Angie now with a determined face looking to apply the move fully, but she’s missed her chance: Vita pushes her and sends her into the ropes. Angie comes back and SICK KICK!
PIP: She just leveled Vita! But the Vampeteen is stirring, trying to get back to her feet.
HHL: Angie now with a determined face looking to apply the move fully, but she’s missed her chance: Vita pushes her and sends her into the ropes. Angie comes back and SICK KICK!
PIP: MISSED!
HHL: Vita ducked and Angie flew right over her head and crashed to the mat, hitting hard. And Vita pounces! She has Angie by the legs and is quickly crossing them up.
PIP: Sharpshooter!
HHL: Vita has those legendary legs crossed and is looking to…what the?!
PIP: How did Angie do that
HHL: Angie, with that massive reach of hers, reached right up with both hands, grabbed Vita by the back of the head, and rolled her backward. She’s on top! She’s got her shoulders pinned to the mat!
PIP: Even the Harts would be happy to see THAT counter and pinning predicament!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall: Angelica Vaughn
Jenny Myst walks out to a chorus of boos from the audience as her entrance music plays.
PC: “Jenny Myst has had nothing but harsh words for Raion Kido these last two weeks: let’s see if she can back it up in the ring tonight!!”
HHL: “Jenny Myst plays dirty, and even worse, she’s gone crazy. Raion Kido might just have his hands full tonight.”
PC: “I would love to have my hands full of Jenny Myst!”
The arena lights turn gold as the intro of “Soldier Dream” by ROOT FIVE hits the PA.
ANNOUNCER: “And now, standing tall at 6'0" and weighing in at 227 lbs., from Osaka, Japan, “The Lion”... RAIOOOOOOOOOOON… KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
PC: “This sold-out stadium is on its feet for Raion Kido! The crowd just loves this guy!”
HHL: “He might not have won the March Madness tournament, but these fans sure are giving Kido a King’s reception here tonight!”
Raion Kido appears on stage, letting out a lion’s roar.
“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Mezasu kiboo no iro wa
Kedakai hodo utsukushii…”
Raion spreads his arms and breaks into a bird run towards the ring, slapping the fans’ hands along the way. He slides into the ring on his belly and springs into his feet.
“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Tsubasa wa ten wo kakeru
Erabareta moushigo no you niiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”
Facing the camera, Raion throws a one-two punch forward, his final pose as the music dies down. Before Raion Kido ends his pose Jenny Myst is on him! Jenny jumps on Raion’s back and starts BITING HIS HEAD before the bell has rung! Kido screams as teeth tear into his skull, and the referee is doing everything he can to pull Jenny Myst off of Raion’s back!
JENNY MYST
- vs -
RAION KIDO STANDARD MATCH
HHL: “I TOLD YOU SHE’S CRAZY AND SHE PLAYS DIRTY!”
PC: “She started biting Raion when his back was turned, before the bell had even rung! This ‘new’ Jenny Myst is starting to get out of hand!”
The referee is able to pull Jenny Myst off of Raion’s back and usher her forcefully into the corner. The referee is giving Jenny a stern lecture, but she’s just staring at Raion Kido while his blood trickles down her mouth. Raion, meanwhile, rubs the back of his head with his hand. His stomach drops a bit when he brings his hand back and sees that it is covered in blood.
HHL: “I can’t believe she isn’t immediately disqualified!”
PC: “Well technically Heather that happened before the match, and the referee clearly has the situation under control now!”
The referee backs away from Jenny Myst, who is now licking her bloody lips. The referee walks briskly over to the other corner where he checks on Raion Kido. Raion is looking a bit worse for wear, but he assures the referee he is fine to continue. The referee shrugs before heading to the center of the ring. Then, the referee officially calls for the bell!
DING! DING! DING!
Raion rubs the bleeding back of his head once more while Jenny Myst brings her middle finger up to her bloodsoaked chin. Jenny rubs the blood around with her finger before putting her finger in her mouth and sucking the blood off of it. After her middle finger is all clean Jenny takes it out of her mouth and flips Raion Kido off with it. The crowd surprisingly pops for the antics, even though they hate Jenny Msyt and love Raion Kido.
Raion shakes his head in disgust as the bloodplay and starts walking towards the center of the ring. Jenny Myst laughs out loud as she mimics Raion’s advance, complete with imitated body movements and everything. The crowd is starting to laugh as the mocking Jenny arrives in the center of the ring with Raion. Raion cocks back a fist, so Jenny comically exaggerates the movements. The crowd chuckles, and Raion looks around at the crowd with slight confusion.
PC: “What’s Raion looking around for? Jenny’s right in front of him!”
HHL: “I think Raion is confused at the crowd, and possibly even disappointed in them! He’s been such a fan-favorite since he arrived, he might be a bit shell shocked at the level of support Jenny has been able to gin up with her childish games!”
While Raion is looking around at the hyenas in the crowd, another idea comes to Jenny’s mind. She reaches out and claws Kido in the eyes! Raion hollers in pain and clutches his eyes as he unwittingly backs up against the ropes. The referee starts shouting at Jenny Myst, but she ignores the referee and runs up towards Raion! When she nears him she leaves her feet and nails an admittedly sloppy step-up enziguri! The sound of her foot slapping across Raion’s skull echoes through the arena! Jenny hits the mat as Raion is forced to take a knee.
HHL: “Jenny Myst is using every dirty trick in her book tonight!”
PC: “I wish Jenny would use her dirty tricks on me! Just…not the ones she’s using against Raion!”
Jenny Myst pushes herself back up to her feet where she sees a bleeding Raion Kido slumped down on one knee. Jenny sprints back towards the ropes before bouncing off of them and charging towards Kido! She leaves her feet for a running dropkick, but Raion sees it coming and rolls out of the way just in time! Jenny hits nothing but air and you can see the stinging pain in her face as her body falls awkwardly to the mat.
Before Jenny can push herself up Raion Kido has already hopped on HER back, and is begging to set up a rear naked choke! Jenny notices what’s happening right away and her training kicks in immediately. As Jenny lays flat on her stomach she tries to peel Raion’s hands away from her neck. Some of Kido’s blood is now dripping down onto the back of Jenny’s head, but she isn’t paying the blood any mind as she fights to stay out of the chokehold!
PC: “This is great technical wrestling right here, from both wrestlers!”
HHL: “This is some expert submission defense from Jenny Myst right now, that’s for sure. She must have really upped her submission game during her training for L-S-M in the March Madness quarterfinals!”
Jenny continues peeling Raion’s hands away from her neck, preventing him from locking in the rear naked choke. Raion, growing tired of the submission defense, pulls his right hand back and just absolutely clobbers the side of Jenny’s head with a couple of hammer-fists. That puts Jenny down enough to lock in the chokehold, and Raion does exactly that! As soon as the choke gets locked in, Jenny shoots right back to life as she starts clawing at Raion’s forearm, trying to force him to release her! Her nails are absolutely shredding Raion’s skin, but he’s keeping the chokehold locked in anyways! Both competitors are now screaming in pain!
HHL: “Kido has the choke locked in! Jenny is fighting with everything she has, but will it be enough?!?!”
PC: “Raion Kido is tired of playing Jenny’s games! Now, he’s trying to choke the life out of her, and the fans love it!”
Almost as if on cue, the crowd starts shouting enthusiastic support for Raion Kido. As Jenny Myst struggles for air, the crowd lavishes in her pain as they chant for Kido to “TAP THAT BITCH! TAP THAT BITCH!”.
Jenny gives up on her strategy of clawing Raion’s bleeding forearms and starts pulling herself towards the ropes. With Raion’s body on her back and his arm around her neck, Jenny Myst is pulling a huge weight load as she tries to crawl to the ropes. Putting one forearm in front of the other, Jenny is doing everything she can to get to the ropes. As she gets closer and closer to the ropes Jenny’s face turns bluer and bluer, and the pace of her advancement slows by the second.
PC: “I’m not sure how much Jenny Myst has left in her! Raion is an expert at technical wrestling, and this chokehold might just be too much for her!”
HHL: “Jenny’s a fighter, but I’m not sure anyone could fight through this!”
Jenny reaches out for the bottom rope and barely misses it: her finger is just an inch away. Jenny tries to pull herself a bit closer, but as she goes to move her forearm Raion suddenly crunches Jenny’s thighs between his knees! Then, Raion pulls Jenny’s whole body back with the chokehold as he rises to his knees! Now Raion and Jenny are on their knees just a few feet from the ropes as Raion continually pulls back on her body with the rear naked choke!
Eventually Raion cranks the submission a bit too hard as he and Jenny fall onto their backs, with Jenny on top of Raion! Still, Raion keeps the chokehold applied as he decides to scissor his legs around Jenny’s midsection so as to lock her in place. Jenny’s face is completely blue, and she brings her right hand up as if she’s about to tap out…but the referee isn’t paying attention. In fact, the referee is now counting a pinfall! Raion’s shoulders have gone flat on the mat, and Jenny is technically pinning him!
1!
2!!
3-NO! KICKOUT!!!
Raion notices what’s happening just a millisecond before the three count, and he releases the chokehold that was keeping Jenny on top of him! Jenny falls off of Raion, completely out of breath. Raion rolls to the other side of the mat as he lets the referee stand up and clear out of the space between Jenny and himself.
PC: “Jenny Myst almost had him! Her tactical brilliance almost gave her the upset victory!
HHL: “Tactical brilliance? She was just getting lucky with Raion on his back!”
PC: “Jenny can get lucky with me on my back ANYTIME she wants!”
HHL: “You’re disgusting, Pip.”
Raion gets up to his feet and looks over towards Jenny Myst..who is now rolling out of the ring! A disappointed frown stretches across Raion’s face as Jenny walks over to the ringside barricade to catch her breath. The front-row fans are shouting all sorts of profanities in Jenny’s face, they clearly don’t approve of her decision to leave the ring.
The referee begins the count out, but Raion Kido walks over to him and tells him not to worry about it. The referee looks confused, but then Raion Kido sprints towards the ropes! The referee sighs as Kido bounces off the ropes and starts charging across the ring. Jenny Myst looks up just in time to see Raion Kido coming over the top rope with a suicide dive! JENNY RUNS OUT OF THE WAY!
Raion Kido dives through the air where Jenny Myst just was….before he’s caught by the front-row fans, who take great care to make sure he isn’t hurt! A couple of hefty men catch Raion before he smacks against the barricade, and then they gently set Raion down onto the ground! Raion thanks the fans for their help throughout the whole process.
PC: “Raion almost whiffed it hard on that one! That was quick thinking by Jenny Myst!”
HHL: “Those fans might have just saved the day for Raion Kido! Maybe karma is real!”
One of the fans pulls out a sharpie and hands it, along with tonight’s Savage program booklet, over to Raion Kido. The fan-favorite wrestler graciously accepts and begins to sign his name. Meanwhile, we see Jenny Myst approaching from the corner of the frame. She grabs a half-empty soda cup out of another fan’s hands before walking up to Raion and pouring the soda all over him AND the autograph, completing ruing he booklet! The fan looks on in dismay as Jenny kicks Raion Kido in the gut before throwing him under the bottom rope and back into the ring!
HHL: “Jenny Myst didn’t have to do that! She just ruined a great moment between Raion Kido and those fans!”
PC: “Jenny Myst doesn’t care about those fans, she only cares about winning this match!”
Jenny taunts the front row fans for a few seconds before they start pelting her with popcorn bags and hotdog wrappers. Jenny Myst quickly runs back into the ring after she sees what the fans have in mind. The fans boo Jenny away as Raion Kido rises to his feet back in the ring.
When Jenny Myst rolls into the ring she’s caught completely off guard by Raion Kido! Raion assaults Jenny with a flurry of kicks as soon as she rolls into the ring, and Jenny is only able to find a moment of peace by clinging to the ropes, forcing the referee to break up the action!
Raion takes a few mandatory steps back, allowing Jenny to collect her bearings and get to her feet. A few seconds later the referee indicates that the fight is back on and Raion Kido quickly advances on his opponent. As Raion nears Jenny he pauses briefly. Raion takes a deep breath as Jenny raises a curious eyebrow at him. Then, the entire arena goes crazy as Raion does a LION’S ROAR right in front of Jenny!
With the crowd’s backing Raion Kido takes another step forward before hurling a series of punches at Jenny Myst! While Jenny manages to block the first few punches, she’s eventually forced into the corner by the flurry of fists. Once she’s in the corner Raion ends his combination with a spinning roundhouse kick to the head that seems to knock Jenny’s lights out.
With Jenny slumped in the corner, Raion Kido picks her up and places her on the top rope. Raion then moves himself up to the second rope, and then to the top rope, all the while holding onto Jenny’s limp body. Once both wrestlers are on the top rope, Raion begins to position Jenny Myst.
PC: “What does Raion have in mind?! Moves from the top-rope can be devastating, for both fighters! Raion better be careful up there!”
Raion gets a superplex in place before hurling himself and Jenny Myst off the top rope!
HHL: “SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP-ROPE!”
Both wrestlers land with a sickening thud in the middle of the ring as the crowd pops louder than they have all night.
PIP: "These fans are having a good time, which is more than I can say for these two!"
Kido goes to stretch an arm over Myst, but she's smart enough to roll away from him, preventing a cover.
HHL: "Smart move by Jenny to avoid the pin attempt!"
Raion gets to his feet and approaches his opponent, who clocks him with a Forearm Smash as he tries to bring her to a vertical base. She then grabs hold of him and sets up for a Spike DDT.
PIP: "Jenny's looking to send Raion Kido to hell!"
Before she can, Raion escapes and runs the ropes, attempting a massive Lariat on the way back, which Jenny ducks! Kido turns around and is brought in for a Sister Abigail. Myst kisses her opponent before going to swing him around, only for him to escape that and drop her with a powerful Heart Punch!!!!!!!
HHL(simultaneously): "Lightning Bolt!"
PIP(simultaneously): "Lightning Bolt!"
An exhausted Kido collapses over top of Jenny for the cover.
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by pinfall, RAION KIDO
PIP: "Raion Kido bounces back from his loss to Bobby Bourbon!"
HHL: "Despite that minor hurdle at March Madness, I think Kido's gonna be just fine!"
Kido celebrates his win as Savage cuts to a break.
The lights in the building start to flicker, matching the opening riffs and drums of Disturbed's 'The Infection'. After the intro, a brief pyro explosion goes off in the entrance and as lyrics of the song begin, Xavier Lux steps out from behind the smoke left by the pyro. He stands there sporting his finest black and green gear, looking around at the XWF crowd most of whom boo him loudly after his recent actions. He shakes his head in disappointment and instead focuses on those that do cheer loudly, and even try to fight the boos with a brief “Venom! Venom!” chant. He smirks before making his way down the ramp, keeping his focus on the ring. Once he gets to ringside, he hops on the apron, wiping his boots showing his respect to the canvas where he is about to practice his craft. He then gets inside and makes his way to the corner, climbs to the second turnbuckle and again just looks around at the crowd who is now giving him a mix reaction. He acknowledges a fan here and there who is showing him support before hopping down from the ring; he checks in with the ref and then gets ready for the match as his music dies down.
HHL: "Xaiver Lux has been one of a slew of recent talent that has made quite an impact since arriving in XWF."
PIP: "Yes but, much like another one of those talents, Raion Kido, he's gonna have his hands full against XWF's new King, Bobby Bourbon."
HHL: "Kido put up quite the effort at March Madness, and I have no doubt Xavier Lux intends to do the same."
PIP: "I hope, for his sake, the result will be different from Kido's."
HHL: "I'm sure he'll do everything in his power to make it happen."
The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad. As his theme blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Bobby Bourbon.
HHL: "Just like Joffrey, the King of XWF is a bastard............. a no good one, at that!"
PIP: "After a short hiatus, Bobby Bourbon returned and picked up right where he left off; showing the world exactly why he IS, not only, XWF's National Treasure, but now the King, as well!"
He stops, surveys the whole of the arena, raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Bobby climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops. The XWF Universe in attendance, becoming hooligans, all chant in unison.
*FUCK 'EM UP, BOBBY, FUCK 'EM UP!*
PIP: "It's like the old adage goes: 'you don't realize how much you appreciate someone 'til they're gone, and these fans are certainly showing their appreciation for their new King!"
Lux and Bourbon go chest to chest, with Xavier showing Bobby he's not gonna be intimidated. Seeing a situation that could blow at any second, the ref calls for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
"VENOM" XAVIER LUX
- vs -
BOBBY BOURBON STANDARD MATCH - 1 RP
PIP: "Look at this peasant standing up to the King! If he's not careful, he could lose his head!"
HHL: "I wouldn't call Xavier Lux a peasant, Pip; he's just letting Bobby know he's not afraid of him."
PIP: "Yeah, well, he SHOULD be!"
The two of them get in each other's faces, exchanging words until Bobby Bourbon decides to grab hold of Lux and Big Boy Toss him across the ring into one of the corners. He goes to follow it up with an Avalanche Splash, but Xavier moves out of the way, trapping Bourbon in the corner with a flurry of rights. This doesn't last long, as Bobby shoves him backwards to the mat before charging forward. In one fluid motion, Venom rules to his feet and pops up, cracking King Bourbon in the chin with a European Uppercut. He then sets up for a Snap Suplex, before Bobby uses his weight to prevent the 'snap' from happening. Xavier tries it, again, but his opponent overpowers him and connects with a Vertical Suplex of his own!
HHl: "It's gonna be hard for Lux to match Bourbon in strength."
PIP: "He might as well give up now! There's a reason Bobby's King; and it's not because he won some silly election! He took the throne like the Warrior he is!"
HHL: "Why don't you just blow him while you're at it?"
PIP: "If he would let me be a Bastard, I just might!"
Both men are quick to their feet, with Venom trying to defend himself with a Punch. Bobby blocks it and responds with an Eye Rake that backs his opponent against the ropes. He then grabs hold of his arm and tosses Xavier towards the opposite side, only for him to try and reverse it. He fails, miserably, as Bourbon pulls him back in for an EMC Squared!!!!!
PIP: "Earth's Mightiest Chokeslam!"
Bourbon lays across Lux for the cover.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PIP: "Bobby's mass times the force Xavier hit the squared circle gives the crowd energy!"
HHL: "You stole that from Bobby's roster page!"
PIP: "What?"
HHL: "That line. You jacked it from Bobby Bourbon's profile on XWF.com!"
PIP: "Prove it!"
HHL: "I have it right here on my phone!"
Pip nervously clears his throat as Bourbon drags Lux to his feet and lifts him up into a Bearhug. After a moment, he charges into one of the corners and drives Xavier's back into it, before Slamming him directly into a pin!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HHL: "Xavier Lux proving to be more than a peasant here in the early going."
PIP: "You're right, Heather, he's NOT a peasant............... he's a jester!"
HHL: "If anyone here's a clown, Pip, it's you."
Bobby gets up and puts Lux's head between his legs in preparation to finish him.
PIP: "He's about to Bobby Bomb Xavier back into Serfdom!"
Before Bourbon can Powerbomb his opponent, Venom fights back with a handful of strikes. He then falls backwards in an attempt to Hurricanranna the King, but Bobbystops him halfway and yanks him back up. The momentum creates from Bourbon's power allows Xavier to fly up behind him and land on his feet to the amazement of the crowd! Bobby turns around and rushes forward, only to be caught with an incredible Arm Drag into the turnbuckles behind Lux!!!
PIP: "That one hurt!"
HHL: "This could be the opening Venom needed!"
As his fans begin to make their voices heard, Xavier Lux hurries back to his feet as Bobby begins to do the same in the corner. Venom then rushes forward and connects with a Splash before backing up and doing it again. This one only further dazes the King of XWF, allowing Xavier to repeat the process for a third and final time. He lands a brutal European Uppercut, similar to his first one, that causes Bobby Bourbon to shove him aside while stumbling out of the corner.
HHL: "Xavier Lux has the King light on his feet!"
Seeing his opportunity to down his adversary, Venom drops to the ropes and back.................... only to be surprised by a Pop-Up Spinebuster that damn near shakes the entire arena!!!!!!
PIP: "Dinosaur Extinctor from out of nowhere!!!"
HHL: "He's got the cover, that one may have done it!"
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PIP: "Some people are gluttons for punishment, I guess!"
HHL: "It's called being resilient, Pip, something you'd know nothing about!"
PIP: "I swear, one of these days, I'm gonna quit if you're not nicer to me!"
HHL: "My point exactly!"
Bobby Bourbon rolls underneath the bottom rope onto the apron, where he pulls himself up and begins climbing the turnbuckles. As soon as he makes it to the top, Xavier Lux gets up, runs over, and hits the ropes, causing Bobby to land, nuts first, on the so-called 'padding'. This stalls him enough to allow his opponent to climb up there, too, where he begins vying for a Superplex. Unfortunately for Venom, Bourbon fights out of it, using his power to lift Xavier up onto his shoulders as the crowd begins to stir.
HHL: "Could it be?!"
PIP: "Bobby Bomb off the top rope! This will put Lux away for sure!"
Before the King can hit it, Xavier Lux torques his body and flings Bobby Bourbon towards the canvas with a Hurricanranna!!!!! Bobby crashes hard, but somehow manages to get back to a vertical base in time to see his opponent running at him. He goes to pick Lux up for some sort of Side Slam, but Venom, once again, uses Bourbon's strength against him in order to reverse it into a Tilt-a-Whirl Headscissors that sends the Bastard King flying through the ropes, out of the ring!!!!!!
HHL: "Xavier Lux is showing no signs of slowing down!"
As soon as Heather says that, Venom runs the ropes and back, where he dives over top for a Flipping Pescado that sends him AND Bourbon crashing into the barrier!!!!!
PIP: "I think that barricade got Xavier Lux just as much as it did Bourbon!"
Venom clutches his side as he gets to a vertical base, bring his opponent with him. He struggles to keep them both up, but is successful in rolling Bobby back into the ring. Xavier takes a moment to collect himself, but manages to slide back in just as Bourbon begins to stir in the corner. Lux positions himself opposite Bobby, before running forward and connecting with a picture perfect Dropkick to the jaw!!!!!
HHL: "The Toxin! Bourbon is rocked!"
PIP: "Xavier usually follows that up with The Cure!"
Being against a bigger opponent, Lux doesn't bother lifting Bourbon up onto the ropes, instead choosing to hoist him directly up onto his shoulders. Unfortunately for Xavier, the combination of Bobby's weight, along with the toll taken on his body, cause his knees to buckle! This allows Bourbon to land on his feet, where he lifts Lux up and slams him down for a Double Underhook Suplex!!!!!
PIP: 'Xavier couldn't hold him up long enough!"
HHL: "Bobby's heading back to the top, he could be looking to finish him with the Flying Circus!"
Bourbon makes it all the way to the top rope, where he dives off and connects with a Flying Senton!!!!!!!
PIP: "He hit it!"
Bobby lays back across Lux and pulls back on a leg for the pin.
1!
2!!
FOOT ON THE ROPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HHL: "Xavier Lux just barely got a toe on the bottom rope!"
An annoyed Bobby Bourbon gets to his feet, heads over to the corner, and slaps the top turnbuckle a couple times before turning and pointing at his opponent.
PIP: "He might be thinking Bobby Bomb on the turnbuckle!"
HHL: "Surely Lux wouldn't kick out of THAT!"
PIP: "Absolutely not, and don't call me Shirley!"
Bourbon turns around and drags Xavier to his feet, setting him up for a Bobby Bomb. He hoists Lux up onto his shoulders and goes to slam him in the corner; however, Venom is able to slip behind the King and shove him, face first, into the top turnbuckle! This dazes Bourbon, causing him to stumble out of the corner right onto Xavier Lux's shoulders for a Death Valley Driver!!!!!!!
HHL: "Venom hit The Cure!"
PIP: "He's got the cover, they're nowhere near the ropes! The King's about to fall!"
1!
2!!
THRE---KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HHL: "Bobby gets one of his massive shoulders up!"
PIP: "Just in the nick of time, too!"
An exhausted Xavier Lux struggles to his feet, trying to figure out a way to end the King of XWF. Eventually, he turns his head towards one of the corners, more specifically the top turnbuckle, a big ole grin on his face.
PIP: "He might be thinking about going for The Cure off the top rope!"
HHL: "He doesn't normally try this on bigger opponents, but Bobby Bourbon's not your average opponent!"
Lux uses all the might he can muster to drag Bobby towards the corner, where he gets low and uses leverage to set Bourbon up top. He follows him up onto the second rope and attempts to hoist him up onto his shoulders...................... only for Bobby to fight back!
PIP: "Bourbon knows he's lucky to have kicked out of the first one, he won't dare let him hit a second, ESPECIALLY off the top rope!"
The King hammers away at Xavier's back, forcing him to climb back down. Unfortunately for him, Bobby not only prevents him from doing so, put actually pulls him back up into position for a Powerbomb!
HHL: "This could end alot more than the match!"
Bourbon lifts Lux up onto his shoulders and steps up to the top rope. From there, he goes to Bobby Bomb his opponent, but Venom is able to hit an awkward looking Headscissors midway through, sending both men flying to the outside! The King's head crashes into the barricade, while Xavier's neck lands awkwardly against the apron. With both men down, the referee starts a 10 count.
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PIP: "Neither man is moving! Unless one of them catches a second wind, we may have a Double Countout!"
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HHL: "They're starting to stir, but it may be too late!"
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9
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10!!!!!!!
Double Countout
HHL: "Neither man can answer the ref's 10 count, resulting in a Draw!"
PIP: "They're both still trying to get up, but can't!"
HHL: "We're gonna take a quick break while our ringside doctor checks on them, we'll be right back!"
We come back to a shot of the ring, which has at least 100 light tubes standing up against the ropes, with a variety of other light tubes surrounding the ringside area.
HHL: "Well, as you can see, it's time for another one of Charlie's crazy TV Title stipulations."
PIP: "How the hell are they gonna get in the ring without breaking any light tubes?!"
HHL: "It wouldn't be the first light tube broken inside an XWF ring, and it certainly wouldn't be the last!"
The smoke fills up with red on the stage, as the arena lights flickers. Then once we see "The Rebellious One" on the X-Tron, we hear the voice of Bone Thugs and Reggie walks down to song. Then we see him walking down the ramp, before stopping at the camera giving it the finger.
PIP: "Reggie's a great role model for all the kids out there."
HHL: "Better than Charlie!"
PIP: "Are you kidding?!? Charlie's GREAT with children!"
HHL: "Charlie's a terrible father, Pip!"
PIP: "I never said he was great his kids, Heather!"
Reggie walks past some light tube towers and rolls into the ring, thanks to some assistance from the ref separating some tubes so he can get in. Estrada then goes over to the top rope and poses before jumping down, and chilling on the corner as his theme cuts off.
HHL: "Nobody's been able to take Charlie's precious 'Goldy' away from him, thus far, but if anyone's got a shot at pulling off the upset, especially in such a brutal match type, it's former Xtreme Champion, Reggie Estrada."
As his music hits, Charlie Nickles pushes his way through the curtain, TV Title slung over his shoulder. He walks down the aisle, hugging Goldy and muttering nonsense to her, as he makes it to ringside. Much like he did for Reggie, the ref separates some light tubes for Charlie to enter, only for him to head over to the steel steps and begin moving them towards a different side of the ring, instead.
PIP: "What the hell is Charlie doing?"
HHL: "Sometimes I don't think even HE knows....."
Nickles sets the steps up equidistant from the posts on that side of the ring. Once he does, he backs up as far as he can against the barricade before running up the stairs and diving through the ropes, as well as about 7 or 8 light tubes; making sure to use his arms and body to protect his precious Goldy.
HHL: "Was that necessary?!"
PIP: "Nope, but he did it anyway!"
Despite having fragments of glass already in his back, Charlie rolls to a knee and hoists the Championship high above his head as the fans look on in awe.
PIP: "Remember, Heather, half this job is entertainment, and Charlie sure knows how to do THAT!"
HHL: "I guess that depends on what you find entertaining, Pip. There's people out there who watch Jersey Shore, that doesn't make it good!"
PIP: "What's wrong with Jersey Shore?!"
HHL: "Everything."
Charlie gives Goldy one last kiss before handing her over to the ref, who in turn takes it over to Reggie Estrada. Once the challenger gives the belt a little pat for good luck, the referee takes it over to the time keeper and calls for the bell.
HHL: "This Light Tube Deathmatch will end by either pinfall, submission, knockout, or at the ref's discretion."
As soon as the bell rings, both Estrada AND Nickles turn and grab a light tube behind them. They then swing at their opponent and, simultaneously, break them over the others' left shoulder!
PIP: "It took 'em 2 seconds to get those light tubes involved!"
HHL: "If that's the way this one's gonna start, I don't see it lasting long!"
Both men back up, with Nickles recovering a moment faster, allowing him to charge at Estrada. Reggie sidesteps him and tosses the TV Champion towards the side of the ring, only for him to narrowly miss any tubes before diving through the ropes out of the ring.
PIP: "Unfortunately for Reggie, that's the side Charlie decided to Kool-Aid man it!"
Estrada stays on his opponent, climbing through the same side out onto the apron. He waits for Charlie to get up before diving off with a Senton, which the TV Champion dodges, causing Reggie to plow through a house of light tubes as the fans come alive!!!!!!!
PIP: "Looks like you might be right about this match being a short one!"
HHL: "Charlie's got more light tubes, what's he thinking now?!"
Nickles grabs a handful of tubes from ringside and places them over top of Reggie, before climbing up onto the apron and measuring him up. From there, Charlie dives off with an Elbow Drop, busting the light tubes between himself and his opponent!!!!!
PIP: "I think Charlie got just as much of that one as Reggie did!"
HHL: "You might be right!"
Both men lay on the floor for a moment, with Charlie eventually making it to the ring where he uses the skirt to pull himself up. As he does so, Reggie uses the barricade to bring himself to his feet. Once Estrada gets up, Nickles rushes towards him with full force. However, before Charlie can tackle Reggie into the barrier, the former Xtreme Champion dodges it, grabs a light tube, and smashes it over Nickles' head as it crashes against the railing!
PIP: "That might've knocked loose whatever marbles Charlie had left!"
A vengeful Estrada violently yanks Nickles to a vertical base and pulls him towards another stack of light tubes. He then grabs hold of Charlie and tosses him over his head through the pile of light tubes!!!!!!
HHL: "These two are absolutely annihilating each other!"
PIP: "And there's still allllllllllll those tubes inside the ring!"
Reggie Estrada picks the TV Champion up and rolls him in the ring through the small gap between the tubes, following close behind with a pin attempt.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HHL: "Charlie's not giving the Title up that easy!"
PIP: "Absolutely not! He would rather DIE than lose Goldy!"
Reggie Estrada heads to a different side of the ring, where he grabs hold of two tubes before heading back towards his opponent. As Charlie goes to get up, Estrada smashes both tubes on opposite sides of his head. Nickles doesn't sell it, though, instead continuing to rise to his feet as Reggie turns to grab another weapon. Once he does, he heads back for Charlie, who kicks the challenger in the gut and sets up for the Devil Hook Drop. However, before he can hit it, Estrada escapes and breaks the new light tube over his head, dropping him!
PIP: "That may have won Reggie Estrada the Title!"
HHL: "He's got the cover, we're three seconds away from finding out if it did!"
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PIP: "Guess not!"
A frustrated Estrada is quick to his feet, bringing Charlie along with him for the ride. He grabs hold of the Champion's arm and goes to Whip him towards one of the sides lined with light tubes. Nickles reverses, and instead sends Reggie crashing through about five of them, with the ropes sending him back into Charlie's arms for a BIG SIDEWALK SLAM!!!!! The Champion then hooks a leg for the cover.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PIP: "These two are breaking more glass than a bull in a China shop!"
HHL: "And neither one of them are backing down!"
Nickles sits up and grabs a fistful of shards, before attempting to push them into Reggie's face. Estrada slaps the glass out of his hand and hits an STO Backbreaker from outta nowhere!!!
PIP: "Glen's Park!"
Rather than cover, a fired up Reggie Estrada instead crawls over and picks up his own handful of glass, which he shoves into Charlie Nickles' forehead, instantly drawing blood!
HHL: "You know what they say, turnabout's fair play!"
PIP: "But Charlie didn't even get the chance to DO that to Estrada!"
After crushing the glass to the point of it turning to dust, Reggie Estrada yanks Nickles to a vertical base and hurls him towards one of the corners. Charlie's bloody body crashes through a stack of light tubes, and into all three turnbuckles at once, before awkwardly plummeting to the mat. The challenger rushes over to the Champion's lifeless corpse and rolls him over for the cover.
1!
2!!
THRE---KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PIP: "I can't believe Charlie kicked out! Everything about that spill was nasty!"
HHL: "Nothing's gonna separate Charlie from his precious Goldy!"
Reggie goes to pick Nickles up, but Charlie breaks his grip, abruptly, kicks him in the dick, and hits a Devil Hook Drop from out of nowhere!!!!!!! Unfortunately for him, he can't follow it up with a cover.
PIP: "All Charlie needs to do is roll over, and he'll retain the Title!"
The TV Champion is barely able to move but, after what seems like an eternity, he's eventually able to drape an arm across Reggie Estrada's chest.
1!
2!!
THRE---KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HHL: "Charlie couldn't cover him quick enough!"
PIP: "Goldy thought she was going home with her deranged lover, but now there's still a chance she'll leave in another man's arms!!!"
Charlie shakes his head with rage, sending blood flying everywhere before getting to his feet and dragging Reggie to his. He drags Estrada over to a group of light tubes leaning against the ropes and sets up for another Devil Hook Drop, with his back to the glass. However, before he can hit it, Estrada all of a sudden turns them around and flips the Champion over his shoulders, through the light tubes!!!!!!!!!
HHL: "Reggie's not done!"
A dazed Charlie Nickles stumbles to his feet, only to be put back down with a Stone Cold Stunner!!!!!!!!!
PIP: "Mashful! Reggie Estrada's about to end Charlie Nickles' legendary reign!"
The challenger is quick to jump onto his opponent and hook both legs for the cover!
1!
2!!
THRE---KICKOUT!?!!!!?!?!!!!!!!!!!
PIP: "Charlie isn't human!............. which is good thing, since Goldy isn't, either!"
Reggie Estrada puts his face in his hands, unable to believe how close to winning the Title he was. Nevertheless, he brushes himself off before getting up and grabbing hold of Charlie. He brings the TV Champion to a vertical base and gets in position for a Killswitch. As he goes to turn his opponent over, though, Nickles is able to slip out and reverse it into another Devil Hook Drop, this time planting Estrada's face into the pile of broken glass he made just moments before!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PIP: "Charlie's got the cover, will it be enough?!"
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner and STILL XWF Television Champion: Charlie Nickles by pinfall
After the match was done and the winner remained tall, Reggie rolled out of the ring and he took the Television Championship, and he slid back into the ring. Then the ref tries to take it from him, but he decks the referee out with the belt. That caused a flurry of mixed jeers, as he looked at the arena in Canada. Then he looks at the bloodied and bruised Charlie, and after spewing some tirades at him, he hands him the belt and raises his hands up, to a varied reaction. After Charlie was embracing the crowd, Reggie hits Charlie in the back with a broken, and bloodied chair that was used in the match.
He smacks his back again, then he sees him stumbling to the middle rope, and he looked on at a downed Charlie hanging on the middle rope, then he pulls out the same spike he used earlier in the show to the stooge in the locker room, and he stabs his forehead, and his left arm until it bled. He then drags Charlie to the middle of the ring by his hair, then he picks up the spike and strikes a final blow to his forehead, but stops.
He then decides to leave the ring, and heads up to the ramp where he sees Charlie taunting him to finish the job, and the camera pans up to a visibility “upset” Reggie with some minor tear on his eyes, as the fans start to boo Reggie as it closes the match.
HHL: "Charlie retains again after ANOTHER hellacious match! A match that looks might have just caused Reggie Estrada to finally snap!!!"
PIP: "So long Reggie Estrada, hello Ring Master! Thanks for joining us, folks, and be sure to check out next Savage for yet another Charlie Nickles classic!"
Special Thanks To:
Big D
Charlie Nickles
Lacklan
Jenny Myst
Reggie Estrada
Vita Valenteen
As the TV show goes off the air, the fans in the arena are treated to a little extra Charlie nonsense. The Nickleman lays in the middle of the ring alongside his Goldi, in a pool of his own blood after Reggie Estrada's vicious post-match attack. The Nickleman, unaware of the end of the program, looks directly into the camera at ringside. Rivers of blood drip freely down his face as he speaks.
You like that, Reggie? Feel the rage, feel the anger. Let it flow through you, Reggie, and maybe one day you'll be man enough to hold this belt! But for now....your champion rests.
Nickles passes out in the middle of the ring with his Goldi strewn across his arms. A team of paramedics comes rushing down the entrance ramp to check on Charlie Nickles as the remaining fans in attendance begin to throw beer bottles and popcorn bags into the ring, clearly upset by the result of tonight's main event.
"Controversial"
The following 1 user Likes Charlie Nickles's post:1 user Likes Charlie Nickles's post Marf (04-17-2022)
With a heavy white towel draped over her shoulder, Vita sits alone in front of a locker as the camera fires to life.
"Angelca Vaughn, tonight you proved that you belong in the XWF, and I now consider you among the best that I have ever faced! Heck, you're ALMOST as good as Sar!" Vita no-sells the backhanded compliment, leaving one to wonder if it was intentional or not. "I do STILL totally think that you kinda stink for letting everyone down at March Madness, but maybe not as much as before?"
Vita searches her feelings for a moment. Now knowing more of Angelica's story, and some of the similarities between them may have softened her opinion of Ang before that totally awesome wrestling clinic that they put on earlier tonight.
"I once heard it said, that sportsmanship isn't shown by a handshake before the bell, but by how one handles defeat. Put in my position, some might expect a tirade of excuses, but the idea of #MontrealScrewjob would be about as legit as #AtlantaScrewjob is, which by the way, is like negative zero, or something. Math isn't really my thing! Angelica, I don't know how you pulled off that totally wild counter to the Sharpshooter, but frickin kudos! There is no denying that tonight, YOU were the better wrestler. Thank you for bringing your best, and congratulations on the totally fair and hard-fought victory!"
Static
1x Anarchy Champion
1x Xtreme Champion
2x Television Champion
1x Lord Of Violence (March 2022)
2x Tag Team Champion
2x Freestyle Champion
3x Heavy Metalweight Champion
1x Federweight Champion
24/7 Briefcase Winner - March 2019
2019 Tweener Of The Year
OOC: My apologies to Bobby Bourbon and the XWF staff as a whole for pulling a no-show, thought I would have time to put one up but went back to work at work this week plus it was Holy Week, I'm a catholic so spent a good time in church.
Thank you for still giving us a solid match, much appreciated, will do better next match.
In XWF:
13-10-1
0-4 in PPVs
0-3 in Title Shots
Before XWF:
3x NLW World Heavyweight Champion
1x OCW World Heavyweight Champion
2x GCWA Tag Team Champion
1x OCW Savage Champion
2x NLW Path of Destiny Champion
1x OCW Paradigm Champion NLW Hall of Fame
The following 2 users Like "Venom" Xavier Lux's post:2 users Like "Venom" Xavier Lux's post Dolly Waters (04-17-2022), Karen Hunt (04-17-2022)
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